For Alex and Marie’s reception, we had to think fairly strategically about how to keep their very long party moving, without getting boring. After their ceremony at All Soul’s Church, we shuttled guests over to the Metropolitan Building. We were concerned that the building might appear a bit dark and gloomy outside, since it’s nestled in such an industrial area, but our friends at Luminous Lighting lit the exterior of the building for us as well.

The party started off with an extended cocktail hour and the sounds of Bon Musique before guests headed upstairs for dinner, toasts and some very heartfelt toasts.  The bride and groom actually had extremely different takes on how they wanted the space to look. The bride was a bit more into more colors and quirky design elements, while the groom really wanted a more traditional look.  We ultimately settled on something traditional, but romantic, with a burlap table linen with gold threads running through it, mercury glass containers on the tables, bird cages around the venue.

It was a day of near theatrically perfect timed entrances… first at the church and then into the reception. The couple wanted a traditional French wedding reception entrance, which involved some MORE sparklers!  They entered the room to Empire State of Mind and it went from Zero to CLUB in about two seconds flat.  The second the music started, the elevator doors opened and guests were standing on their chairs, sparklers in the air and napkins waving.  From there, everyone HIT the dancefloor before dinner service started and, to be honest, barely stopped to even eat, except to listen to the amazing toasts given by their families and friends.  Just before midnight, a percussionist from Generation Events entered the room and led the bride, groom and guests down to the lower level where Jason Fioto kept the party moving until 4AM.

While guests entertained themselves with the photobooth, the candy bar AND, of course, the seemingly endless supply of food including the French Crepes (for the groom) and Belgian frites (for the bride), mainly they danced, danced and danced some more.  In short, it was an epic evening.  Congratulations to Alex and Marie and thanks to Dante Williams for these great photos.

The Q: This is such a weird issue…. that is sort of wedding related.  I am Catholic, and I’m marrying someone who isn’t Catholic.  My mother had a bit of an issue with this, that she has been kind of passive aggressively addressing with me by asking questions about how people get married if not in a church and that kind of thing. Since my mother isn’t really helping pay for the wedding, I’ve been letting it go in one ear and out the other.

The thing is though that now that my fiance and I are living together, we mutually decided to NOT put up a Christmas tree. It wasn’t that big of a deal to give up since I can see decorations all around town and I think for my fiance having a tree in his house felt like a big step towards celebrating a holiday he doesn’t have a religious belief in… a lot bigger deal than going to a Christmas dinner.  My mom asked when we were putting up our tree and I explained that we weren’t going to do one.  Well, you would think that my mother was being personally stabbed in the heart by this.  She has been telling everyone in my family who will listen that I’ve given up Christmas. We aren’t. Actually, we are supposed to be spending the day with her and my siblings, even though it’s not a holiday that my fiance celebrates.  She lives nearby and is constantly stopping over to drop off ornaments and I’m getting worried that she is going to try and give us a tree or something.

I would normally just ignore her, but I’m worried that this is the first step in a bigger issue that will rear it’s head around our wedding. What do you think we should do?

The A: Sometimes, I think it’s easy to ignore parents being annoying in the moment, or to keep them in the dark about things that you think might upset them, but USUALLY long term, it’s better to over-inform them and rip the band aid off in one fell swoop.  Less worried about the wedding am I than concerned about life after the wedding and how your mom will handle your decisions concerning religion and any children you guys may decide to have.

I think, (and you can opt to wait until AFTER the holidays to have this conversation, but certainly don’t wait too long) you need to sit down and explain to your mom the reasons WHY you decided not to put up the Christmas tree and also probably remind her that Christmas isn’t actually about a tree (it’s about spending money… Kidding!), so not putting up a tree doesn’t mean that you aren’t participating in Christmas, it just means you aren’t participating in a symbol of Christmas.

Ultimately, like a lot of people, your mom is just worried that things are changing.  Probably she is concerned that marrying someone who has different traditions will create distance between you.  Or, she may be worried that she won’t get to celebrate Christmas with her grandchildren when and if you have them.  So, since her actions are most likely based in the anxiety of the unknown, you should fill her in on as much as possible.  Reassure her that you will both be at the family Christmas celebration and remind her of the celebrations that your fiance’s family has around their faith.  It might not be a bad idea to tell her your thoughts about the ceremony, even if it’s simply going to be non-denominational.  If you two have spoken about how you want to handle faith and your children, you may want to fill her in on that too, so that she knows that you’ve thought about it and so that she starts to wrap her head around it now.  BUT, more than anything, you have to remind her that you are an adult and that these are decisions you  have thought about and made and she has to at least make an attempt to respect them. And, of course, that bringing over the ornaments isn’t going to somehow change that, though it is an award winning passive aggressive gesture!

Good luck.  I think with a firm stand and a thoughtful conversation you may end up being glad that you dealt with these unspoken (but clearly apparent issues) now instead of watching it drag out for months leading up to the wedding.  Or you may find that this is the first time of many that you have this same conversation with your mom, but, at the very worst, you’ll get better at it!

Late last month, after months and months of preparation, Alex and Marie’s rather epic wedding celebration took place.  Alex is from Paris while Marie is from Belgium and, having met in New York, the couple decided to host exactly 200 guests for a weekend in New York.

Since most of the guests were coming in from Europe, Alex and Marie wanted to be sure that we had planned a full slate of activities for all of their guests, the MOST important being a true, dusk until dawn ceremony and reception on Saturday.  When they told us they wanted something that was romantic and warm, we knew we needed to look no further than the Metropolitan Building in Long Island City for the reception.  For the ceremony, the beautiful and romantic All Souls Church needed little decor to help it along.

To kick things off, Friday night we staged a chic cocktail celebration in the penthouse of the Cooper Square. We thought the modern, clean lines of the Cooper Square would be a nice contrast to the more shabby chic look of Saturday’s events.  For the ceremony, scores of candles in cylinders filled the steps of the church, the altar and, of course the aisle.  The small wedding party walked down the aisle to Pachebel’s cannon played on the organ and then, just as the soprano soloist began “O Mio Bambino”, we opened the door and Marie and her father made their way down the aisle.  It was breathtakingly dramatic.  The ceremony featured readings in English as well as French.  After the ceremony, Alex and Marie stole away for a brief moment before the guests “toasted” them with sparklers” and we loaded all the guests up onto shuttles to take them to the Metropolitan Building.  Thanks to Dante Williams Photography for these lovely shots.

Mayra and I were reading this very sweetly intentioned post about 12 great ways to pop the question. Some of them were wonderful, but some of them didn’t seem to fit the needs of a city dwelling man looking to do something creative. (One involved a house, not an apartment and another involved a lawn and neighbors). And one of them was down right creepy (it involved convincing the girlfriend to sit on Santa’s lap and tell her that she was on the nice list…. ) Most of them were holiday related, which I think is great, since so many guys decide to propose  at this time of year.. but holiday related needn’t mean hokey. The truth is, the perfect proposal probably SHOULDN’T be something that could work for another guy looking to wed some other girl… if it’s perfect, it should be bespoke not pret-a-porter.  Soooo, rather than offer up ideas, here are tips on ways to think about this to get it get right. Gentleman reader,whoever you are, no thanks necessary. Ladies, get ready to casually leave this window open on your laptop while you get up to get a glass of water and take a really long time doing so!

1. Try and remember something that she has always casually mentioned or even “joked” about loving… I.e. a scavenger hunt or an affinity for a petting zoo? Does she love the ballet? I had posted some pics of one of our grooms surprising his bride with a hot air balloon because she had always joked that she wanted to be “taken away on a hot air balloon”… that would have also been a really awesome proposal. Any reference to a wild fantasy or something random that she thinks you probably didn’t notice will be a huge success.
2. Do it as publicly or privately as you think that she would be comfortable with. If she is a drama queen or loves PDA, then the center court proposal at the Knicks game might be perfect. If she cringes when she sees OTHER people doing that in the privacy of your own home while watching a game, then perhaps NOT the move for her. Something can be private and still be memorable.
3. Think about every day things that she likes to do and see how you can surprise her within her routine. For instance, I personally walk to work over the Brooklyn Bridge pretty often. If I had a boyfriend and he were going to propose to me, it would be pretty amazing if he surprised me by waiting on the bridge for me… not that I’ve thought about this or anything! Or, for instance, we had one client that used to go to OTTO all the time and he had them prepare the meal that they always got at the restaurant, but in their apartment and it was waiting for her when they got home. It doesn’t need to be earth shattering, but if it makes her feel like “Oh my goodness, he really pays attention!” it will go a long way.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help pulling something off. Be it random people on the street, or the manager of a venue where you want to get on stage and make a production out of something. Friends and family can also be helpful in the planning stages… provided they can keep a secret!
5. Don’t wing it! Your excitement to do it and say the right thing and the feeling of the ring being just about to burst from your pocket MIGHT be overwhelming, BUT it’s better to go in with a plan of action… even a casual plan of action.

I really enjoy giving gifts, but, being the weirdo that I am, I actually don’t enjoy shopping.  I wish that I had the fore sight to buy thoughtful presents throughout the year and then just store them in my shoebox apartment to give at the holidays… but since that isn’t going to happen, I basically end up online shopping….  For me, this presents a problem.  First, I never get it together to take advantage of cyber Monday and secondly, I don’t like buying generic seeming presents (I know, I’m so difficult!).  So I was so happy when I got an email from our friend Amanda Allen, the founder of NewlyWish about how the site is a great registry site, BUT it’s also a great source for  holiday gifts.   If you aren’t familiar, NewlyWish is the online registry source for the best of some of New York City’s boutique retailers… so, small, unique shops that wouldn’t otherwise have the capabilities for online retailing ability are carefully curated by NewlyWish and their best items are available to shop from AND to register for.  Soo registry aside, here is some of what I’d like to buy for people on my holiday list!

Mayra and her boyfriend love doing adorably dorky things around the city like self guided walking tours while they listen to podcasts from the historical society (seriously, you actually can’t make that kind of stuff up).  So, for them I’d get them this book New York 400: A visual History of America’s Greatest City and stuff a couple of Museum of the City of New York memberships inside.

My cousin Eric and his wife just bought a new house and they celebrate both Chanukah and Christmas. This beautiful menorah would be a great housewarming/holiday gift for them.

My other cousins have a lot of kids and a nice big table to have meals together at. I thought that these chicken oven to table pans were awesome because a) they eliminate one step in the food preparation process and b) they look like a chicken, which I would imagine would entertain kids. (or, conversely, traumatize them… but I hope not.)

My friends Alex and Indira love to entertain, and there is nothing more luxurious then serving cocktails with cloth cocktail napkins. What a simple luxury that you wouldn’t think to buy yourself, but that’s SOOOO swanky to have!

Rebecca’s umbrella just broke in todays’ storm AND she’s from Brooklyn AND I personally think having a nice, portable, not embarrassing umbrella is so awesome and again, something that you never really want to spend your own money on.. thereby making it a great holiday gift. I wish people would start to think about it differently and rather than try and buy serviceable gifts, buy totally unserviceable luxurious items that people would enjoy, but not want to spend their own money on… or at least that’s what I would want. Anyway, here’s the Umbrella I would get for Rebecca.

My cousin Danny loves plates and house wares as well as humorous design. I think he would get a kick out of these Metroyska dessert plates. Set of four and each little dolly is in a different color. However, we also are part Italian AND do enjoy drinking vino when we are together, so perhaps these Italian wine glasses would be a better fit? Not sure.

For my friend Shannon, who is decorating her apartment, I would get her this double frame, so she can put in a picture of me on one side and Rebecca on the other.

Finally, Mayra and I both fell in love with these gorgeous fig salt and pepper shakers. I’d get these for our friend Marcy because she is quite the cook and has a really lovely dining table that these would look nice on.