Obalesque

As rude, opinionated, and obnoxious as I am, in fact I’m not a New Yorker.  So issues of life-and-death importance to New Yorkers don’t necessarily move me especially.   Case in point: the so-called Ground Zero Mosque.

But it took on a decidedly Florida perspective over the weekend when the President, visiting Panama City, weighed in on the controversy, and various Florida politicians reacted in kind.

President Barack Obama said Saturday that Muslims have the right to build a mosque near New York’s Ground Zero, but he did not say whether he believes it is a good idea to do so….Obama commented during a trip to Florida, where he expanded on a Friday night White House speech asserting that Muslims have the same right to freedom of religion as everyone else in America.  – Yahoo News

Naturally, the president’s political opposites seized on this outrageous statement of Constitutional principal as definitive proof that the half-breed sonofabitch is a foreign-born socialist fraud who resents white people and despises America.

In Florida, recent Democrat convert Jeff Greene:  “President Obama has this all wrong and I strongly oppose his support for building a mosque near Ground Zero  especially since Islamic terrorists have bragged and celebrated destroying the Twin Towers and killing nearly 3,000 Americans,” Greene said.  “Freedom of religion might provide the right to build the mosque in the shadow of Ground Zero, but common sense and respect for those who lost their lives and loved ones gives sensible reason to build the mosque someplace else.”  — cbs4

Really, Jeffy?  What would Jesus do?  Go ask your rabbi next time you visit Cuba.

Marco Rubio:  “We are a nation founded on strong principles of religious freedom… However, we cannot be blind to the pain 9/11 caused our nation and the families of the victims. It is divisive and disrespectful to build a mosque next to the site where 3,000 innocent people were murdered at the hands of Islamic extremism. I strongly disagree with President Obama and Charlie Crist.” – Sunshine News

Some of those 3,000 victims were Muslims, Marco.  Is that relevant?  How about if they were wealthy Hispanic Republicans?   Just asking.

Alex Sink:  “It is my personal opinion that the wishes of the 9/11 victims’ families and friends must be respected. They are opposed to this project and I share their view.” – Post on Politics

How far does this reasoning go, Alex?  Suppose those same families want to stone Guantanamo prisoners to death, prohibit public celebration of Ramadan, and circumcise all Islamic female adolescents.  You go for that, too?  Why do you believe that individual interest groups get to circumvent Constitutional freedoms?

Bill McCollum:  “The president of the United States giving credibility to this or even offering some semblance of support to building a mosque that this imam (Feisal Abdul Rauf) is behind is an insult to the people – the families of the people – who died there on Sept. 11. We are still at war.”  Post on Politics

Ha ha!  That McCollum – as insightful as he is good looking.  So what’s the deal, Billy boy?  Bad guys don’t get to spend their money the way they want unless they’re sugar executives?

Rick Scott:  “[T]he president “would rather stand with the ACLU and the liberal establishment than with the 9/11 victims and their families. It is shameful and the act of a cowardly politician, not that of the leader of the United States of America.”  — Post on Politics

While this zillionaire health care executive doesn’t know the difference between the ACLU and liberals, I concede he knows something about cowardice.

But don’t lose all hope.  There’s Kendrick Meek:  “Our nation was founded on the pillar of religious freedom and construction of the mosque should not be denied on religious grounds, but this is ultimately a decision for the local community in New York City to make”  and Charlie Crist: “[W]e’re a country that in my view stands for freedom of religion and respect for others. I know there are sensitivities and I understand them…This is a place where you’re supposed to be able to practice your religion without the government telling you you can’t.”  – Post on Politics

The details of a New York City zoning issue aren’t my affair –until people clamoring for my vote start pissing on the First Amendment.  Then it’s everybody’s business.  Keep it in mind, fellow Floridians, later this month when you’re pulling levers in the primary.

This is all ducked fup, perfect for a Triskaidekaphobiac.  Wonder if it has anything to do with that duck boat tourist incident in the Delaware River earlier this summer?

A Delaware County [PA] mother suing Walt Disney Parks and Resorts claims that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and about a dozen other “permanent” maladies because Donald Duck grabbed her breasts two years ago at Epcot Center……[She} states in her lawsuit that a Disney employee dressed in a Donald Duck costume touched one of her breasts and continued to "molest her" when she approached him for an autograph in May 2008, while she held her child.

Beyond the humiliation of being groped by an anthropomorphic duck in a sailor suit, [plaintiff] claims that the incident caused “severe physical injury,” a “shock to her entire nervous system,” “muscle contraction headaches,” “acute anxiety,” “nausea, cold sweats, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, digestive problems” and other conditions that are “permanent in nature.”  — philly.com

Can anybody other than a desperate personal injury lawyer take this seriously?

Guess she forgot to….duck.

This reminds me of an anecdote based on a joke.  You already know the joke.  Mickey files for divorce from Minnie, and the disbelieving judge says, “I can’t understand why you’d want to divorce your wife of 75 years just because she’s acting a little strange lately.”  To which Mickey replies, “I didn’t say she was acting strange, Your Honor, I said she was fucking Goofy.”

The anecdote:  Years ago I worked in an office where one of the interns was South African, and had no idea who the Disney characters were.  When this joke was told, he needed a long explanation.  Weeks later at a party, he was challenged to repeat the joke he’d learned.  Gamely (and drunkenly) he bumbled through it, finishing off with, “I didn’t say she was strange, Your Honor!  I said she was fucking Pluto.”

I used the expression “fucking Pluto” the rest of the year, and in fact, I still do.

We were out last night meeting for the first time and drinking with a famous blogger and her entourage, so this post is dedicated t o wonderful new friends:

You’d expect a lot from a bottle of beer costing $765. What you get is 55 percent alcohol — and served in a squirrel.

According to Scottish firm BrewDog, [the beer] is the “strongest, most expensive and most shocking beer in the world.”  Just 12 bottles were made and the company has already sold out. They will be shipped out to buyers in the United States, Canada, Italy, Denmark, Scotland and England next week.

The dead animals which were used to create the beers’ unusual appearance were four squirrels, seven weasels and a hare. All were roadkill, James Watt, co-founder of BrewDog, told msnbc.com.

Watt said the beer should be treated with care when drinking.  –   msnbc.com

No squirrels or weasels were killed for our entertainment: mostly we drank Yuengling.  While I see the appeal of a beer with 55% alcohol,  I don’t see the added value of drinking it from an animal corpse.  Oh. I know, I’ve slurped my share of beaver beverage, a/k/a poontang (I’m partial to the orange variety heh heh heh), but hey.  There are subtle shades of flavor to savor in this complicated world.

That noted, for a $765 beer served from a stuffed squirrel, I expect some complimentary nuts.  And I don’t mean psychotics praising my good looks and fancy attire….which, if they did, would PROVE they’re nuts.

Okay, that’s it.