Posted by secondchancetolive on October 29, 2010
If you have not already read Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 7. Thank you.
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. I am honored by your presence. For many years — as an individual living with a brain injury and an invisible disability – I found myself being misunderstood, maligned and manipulated because I was unable to accept my reality. In turn, I internalized the contempt that was shown toward me by the people who misunderstood and maligned who I was as an individual.
As I shared in the previous parts of this series, I have learned several important lessons through my experience. Through confronting my denial, grieving my reality and by learning to accept myself in my reality, I have been able to stop fighting against myself. By learning to accept myself in my reality I have been able to stop struggling to be some one who I am not – an individual who is not living with a brain injury and an invisible disability with limitations.
By learning to accept who I am – not someone who I am not — I have been able to change the way in which I interact with individuals who show that they are unable to accept who I am in my reality. By accepting who I am in my reality and that there are people who can not accept who I am in my reality, I have been able to change my focus. Instead of seeking approval and validation — from people who are unable or unwilling for what ever reason — I have been able to…
keep the focus on myself and stop going to hardware stores looking to find bread. I have been able to practice the principle of live and let live and I have been able to move on with my life — because I “get it”.
Please read Part 8 for context. Thank you.
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 7. Thank you.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, life challenging experiences, living life on life's terms, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury treatment | Tagged: not what you can not do but what you can do | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 25, 2010
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to drop by to visit with me. Thank you. You are always welcome around my table. Recently, I found out the links to the parts of my articles that I include at the bottom of my articles are not being included as active links through my Feedburner subscriptions. I want to thank the individual who brought this to my attention.
I also want to apologize to you my readers for my in attention to this matter for such a long while.
I have looked into changing my email delivery service from Feedburner to another service that would include active links in my email subscriptions, however have not found any free services. Because my funds are limited, I have been investigating a work around to be able to get the live links to the parts of my articles. I believe I have found a solution. The solution is not perfect, but the solution will provide access to the active links of the parts of my articles.
In the event that you know of a better solution, please let me know my friend. Thank you.
The solution that will provide a way to access the links to previous articles is to receive my articles through my Facebook Page or LinkedIn page. When you receive notification through Feedburner in your mail that I have written a new article or part of an article, please visit my Facebook or Linked in Page. When you come to either of those pages you will see the name of the article or part with a blue link at the end of the name of the article.
Here is an example showing the link at the end of the title. The link here is purple, but on my Facebook page or LinkedIn Page will be blue. Here several examples of my most recent parts of my article Living with a brain injury and being Misunderstood, Maligned and Manipulated from my Facebook Page.
Craig Phillips Living with a brain injury and being Misunderstood, Maligned and Manipulated Part 6(conclusion) http://wp.me/p3atD-18U Please read prior pa
Craig Phillips Living with a brain injury and being Misunderstood, Maligned and Manipulated Part 5 Please read Part 1,2,3,4 for con, http://wp.me/p3atD-18t
Simply click on the link of the part of the article — at the end of the title of the article — and you will be brought to Second Chance to Live and to the actual article. As I have shared in my article, How to Use Second Chance to Live when I write parts to the article — because of the length of the article — I include active links to other parts of the article at the top of the article and some times at the bottom of the article.
Simply click on the Part of the article that you would like to read and you will be taken to that part of the article. By reading each part of the article, you will get a better understanding of how each part connects to context of the complete article. I realize that this work around can be somewhat confusing. If I can be more specific or answer any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. We will work through this process together.
Again I am sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for understanding my friend. As a better solution becomes available, I will be sure to let you know. Thank you again for being a loyal friend of Second Chance to Live.
Here is my Facebook Page
Here is my LinkedIn Page
Here is my Contact Page
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Brain Injury Concussions and Sports, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, head injury, learning disabilities, living life on life's terms, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 23, 2010
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 6. Thank you.
In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I was able to exchange a lie (that sought to convince me that there was nothing wrong with me other than my inability to try harder or be different) for my truth (that I am a unique individual living with a brain injury, an invisible disability with limitations who possesses vibrant and viable gifts, talents and abilities that benefit the lives of people who want what I have to give through my life).
In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I could begin to experience the freedom to be who I am. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I could begin to express my truth as an individual who is living with a brain injury and an invisible disability with unseen limitation.
I have written several articles and series to share what I learned through the process of grieving my losses — that I have spoken about through this series. I will include links to those articles below. Simply click on the title of the article / link and you will be taken to the actual article. As you read through the articles and series and question arise, please feel free to ask those questions. And please remember that all questions are good questions. Here is my Contact Page.
Here are the titles of those articles and series.
Traumatic Brain Injury and Facing Denial a 5 part series
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Grieving Process a 7 part series
Traumatic Brain Injury and Limiting Scripts a 2 Part series
Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury — What Is Keeping You Stuck?
Traumatic Brain Injury — What Empowers Me to Go and Make it a Good Day — On the Road to Healing a 10 part series
Find Freedom from Unrealistic Expectations a 4 part series
Please read Part 7 for context. Thank you.
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 6. Thank you.
Here is my Contact Page. Send comments and questions and I will respond.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Identified Patient, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury treatment | Tagged: How to face adress and overcome losses | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 22, 2010
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 6. Thank you.
I had to and continue to have to grieve the reality that there are individuals who hold professional degrees who access, diagnose and treat individuals who are living with brain injuries as though they are familiar with every aspect of the human brain. I had to and continue to have to grieve that there are people – who work in positions to empower individuals living with brain injuries – yet practically minimize, marginalize, dismiss and discount people who are living with brain injuries. I had to and continue to have grieve that there are people who choose to malign individuals who are living with brain injuries in order to justify, defend and explain away their ignorance and denial.
In my experience, I had to do the necessary work to be able to move on with my life. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work to begin to be able to differentiate between my reality and the expectations inherent with in the denial system (s) of the people who could not or can not accept my reality. In my experience, I had to do the necessary work to grieve my losses before I could begin to use my time and energy in ways to that would empower, rather than hinder my life. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I could move beyond the confines of the box that denial set for me. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work to stop shaming myself for not being more than I am…and this too is a process.
In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I could start being an actor in my life, instead of being a reactor to what happened in my life. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work to move beyond my losses before I could channel my time and energy into using my gifts, talents and abilities in ways that would work for me. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I was able to begin to trust the process, a loving God or myself. In my experience, I had to do the necessary grief work before I could begin to realize that everything that has occurred in my life — after I sustained my traumatic brain injury at the age of 10 in 1967 — has been meant for my good and not for my harm.
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 6. Thank you.
Here is my Contact Page. Send comments and questions and I will respond.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, living life on life's terms, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration | Tagged: How to face address and overcome losses | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 20, 2010
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 4. Thank you.
I had to grieve feeling like a person who was all dressed up with nowhere to go – despite my educational achievements and hard work. I had to grieve the hopes and dreams that my reality seemed to have dashed on the rocks of disappointment and discouragement. I had to grieve that – in many instances over the years – I was not taken seriously because of my reality. I had to grieve the pain of not knowing how my life had been – for many, many years – impacted by my reality. I had to grieve the loss of being unable to gain the validation, understanding and support of some family members and friends.
I had to and still have to grieve a disconnect between people who say that because I look normal, I should no longer be impacted by my traumatic brain injury. I had to and still have to grieve the disconnect between people who — although they believe I should no longer be impacted by my brain injury — still hold me accountable for my invisible deficits and limitations which are related to my traumatic brain injury. I had to and still have to grieve that there are people in my life who say that “they are not buying it”, when they are unable to reconcile what they see with what they are unable to see.
I had to grieve and still have to grieve that there are some people in my life – who I would very much like to be able to “get it” — who may never be able to grasp and accept my reality. I had to grieve and continue to have to grieve the reality that for some people, denying my reality is like a warm blanket that protects them from having to confront, resolve and accept what is simply too painful for them to bear.
Please read Part 5 of the series. Thank you.
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 4. Thank you.
Here is my Contact Page. Send comments and questions and I will respond.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Identified Patient, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury treatment | Tagged: Learning to accept yourself as a person living with a traumatic brain injury, grieving your losses as a traumatic / acquired brain injury survivor | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 17, 2010
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 3. Thank you.
My experience has taught me that when I attempt to gain the support, validation and approval from people – who have repeatedly shown an inability to grasp my reality – I am figuratively going to the hardware store looking to find bread. Reality is that hardware stores do not supply bread. My experience has taught me that when I refocus my time and energy away from trying to gain the validation, support and approval from people who can not or will not “get it”, I effectively stop taking on the shame and guilt for being an individual who is living with a brain injury and an invisible disability.
My experience has taught me that when I stop receiving guilt and shame for being an individual — who is living with a brain injury with invisible deficits and limitations — I stop giving away my power to the people who do not or can not accept my reality. As I stop giving my power away to those individuals, I stop allowing these individuals to manipulate and control me through their denial. As I stop allowing people to control and manipulate me – because of what they are unable to accept and thus their denial – I am able to start using my time and energy in ways to empower my life.
In my experience, I discovered that accepting this reality / my reality was not an easy task or process. The denial system (s) of family and friends had a huge pull. In my experience – when the pain of not accepting my reality exceeded the pain of being told I was wrong – I decided to begin considering my reality as the truth. In my experience, I found that I had to / needed to grieve my reality and the denial system (s) – that I had unknowingly bought into for many years as being my reality. I had to grieve my inability to do and be a person who was not impacted by a traumatic brain injury. I had to grieve the reality that my life was not going to take on the form of obtaining the American “dream”, although I had worked hard to achieve both my undergraduate and graduate degrees.
Please read Part 4 for context. Thank you.
If you have not already read Part 1, Part 2, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 4. Thank you.
Here is my Contact Page. Send comments and questions and I will respond.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Identified Patient, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, The Grieving Process, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, characteristics of traumatic brain injury, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury treatment | Tagged: traumatic brain injury and grieving losses, acquired brain injury and grieving losses | 2 Comments »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 13, 2010
Please read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 for context. Thank you.
Over the past 6 or 7 years I have become more aware of how my traumatic brain injury impacted and continues to impact my life and relationships. During the course of the past 3 ½ years – since creating Second Chance to Live – I have written several series of articles to share what I have learned on my journey. Below, I will provide active links to those articles. My encouragement to you would be to spend some time reading through the series and articles – at your own pace. I believe you will be able to identify with me. If you have any questions, please ask. All questions are good questions.
Traumatic Brain Injury and Denial – My Perspective as a TBI Survivor,
My Struggle Living with an Invisible Disability – a 4 part series
Having an Invisible Disability – The Consequences of Denying my Reality – a 2 part series
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Double Bind
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Bully
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Square Peg
Traumatic Brain Injury and the Identified Patient – a 2 part series
Traumatic Brain Injury and Suicide – a 2 part series
Brain Injury, Self-Esteem, Self-Respect and Significance
What I have learned through my experience is that my efforts to convince, control or manipulate anyone into “getting it” have proven only to exasperate me. Through my experience I have discovered that I am truly powerless over being able to help connect the dots for other people. What I have discovered is that what is most important – whether anyone “gets it” – is that I “get it”. My experience has taught me that by “getting it” I was able to slowly break free from a denial system that kept me bound.
As I have been able to “get it” I have been able to break free from a denial system that wanted me to believe that there was nothing wrong with me. What I learned through my experience was that I could stop fighting against myself. By accepting my reality — that my life had been impacted by a traumatic brain injury – I was slowly able to begin to accept myself as an individual living with a brain injury. What I discovered was that I no longer had to be some one who I was not – a person living with out a brain injury.
Please read Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 for context of the complete article. Thank you.
Here is my Contact Page. Send comments and questions and I will respond.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment Speaker, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Identified Patient, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, life challenging experiences, living life on life's terms, living my destiny, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury treatment | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 12, 2010
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. Last night my friend Craig Sicilia presented a topic on Brain Injury Radio that spoke to a topic that has been and is a source of frustration – at times — for me. Like many of the guests who appeared on Craig’s Radio program, I have been misunderstood, maligned and subsequently abandoned because of the invisible nature of my disability – because I experienced a traumatic brain injury.
After the accident in 1967 and my physical wounds healed – my skull filled in where the fracture occurred and I was taken out of the full body cast to set my fractured left femur – I started to appear “normal” once again. As I was able to teach myself how to walk, talk, read, write, speak in complete sentences I was main streamed back into grammar school with my 5th grade class. Once I started back to grammar school no further consideration was taken into account concerning how the injury to my brain would impact the rest my life, my relationships and my well-being.
In 1967 there was little know about traumatic brain injury or the treatment of a traumatic brain injury.
Nevertheless, during the course of the next 43 years – I was 10 years old at the time of my traumatic brain injury – I have experienced being misunderstood, maligned, scoffed at, excluded, shunned, snubbed, reviled, ostracized, minimized, marginalized, dismissed, discounted, hindered, blackballed, scorned, spurned, disparaged, chastised, reprimanded, berated, criticized, threatened, reproached, denigrated, rejected and abandoned both personally and professionally, largely because of impact of my traumatic brain injury.
Note:
In the event that you have not and are interested in learning more about my journey during these 43 years please read my 7 part series, My Journey thus Far.
If you have not already read Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 of this series, please do so to understand the context of Part 1. Thank you.
Here is my Contact page. Send comments and questions and I will respond to you.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, characteristics of traumatic brain injury, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, life challenging experiences, living life on life's terms, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury treatment | Tagged: Misunderstood, Maligned and Manipulated | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 9, 2010
Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 of this series for context. Thank you.
I discovered that I needed to understand why I was driven to prove my worth and value to the people – who repeatedly showed their inability to see my worth and value. I discovered that I needed to find out why I felt like a victim of my circumstances. I discovered that I need to find out why I allowed other people to abuse, mistreat and victimize me. I discovered that I needed to find out why I readily abandoned myself whenever I felt abandoned – emotionally, physically or spiritually – by other people.
Through my recovery process, I became aware of what kept me stuck in a victim role. In families and relationships where hidden secrets or unresolved pain is avoided, roles are given to or assumed by each individual with in those family units or relationships. The roles contain what the family unit or relationship is unable to process or accept. Over time and with repeated conditioning the roles become the identity of the individual and the denial system or systems becomes the identity of the family unit or relationship.
The roles feed, validate and unknowingly serve to defend and justify the denial system (s). Over time and with repeated conditioning the individual continues to maintain the identify of the role in an attempt to feel safe and secure with in the unit or relationship. The sense – be it a false sense – of safety and security comes with a huge price. To maintain the role – to feel safe and secure – the individual manifests an overdeveloped and hyper vigilant sense of responsibility to avoid being blamed for the dis-ease.
To maintain their role – to feel safe and secure with in the unknown denial system (s) – the individual manifests an overdeveloped and hyper vigilant sense of responsibility. The individual does so in an effort to fulfill the expectations and the unspoken requirements of their role — to contain the unresolved pain and denial.
Please read Part 8 for context. Thank you.
Please read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 of this series for context. Thank you.
Here is my Contact page. Send comments and questions and I will respond to you.
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Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Identified Patient, Invisible Disability, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic Brain Injury, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury treatment | Leave a Comment »
Posted by secondchancetolive on October 1, 2010
Hello and welcome back to Second Chance to Live my friend. I am happy to see that you decided to stop by to visit with me. Thank you. I am a bit frustrated by something that has reappeared in my life. I have been frustrated with this matter for many years. This matter involves ignorance. Ignorance that begets arrogance that perpetuates that ignorance. Although I realize that I am powerless over ignorance and arrogance, I still find myself being frustrated when I am impacted by ignorance and arrogance.
I find myself frustrated when this ignorance impacts my life and my relationships – in negative and adverse ways. I find myself frustrated when ignorance is amplified and “validated” by people with “professional” degrees who espouse their opinions over my reality. I find myself frustrated and saddened when the ignorance of arrogance creates divisions in the relationships that I am seeking to cultivate and maintain. I find myself frustrated when I am minimized and marginalized by the ignorance of arrogance.
In the midst of my frustration I recalled several lessons that I have learned, but forgot to remember amidst my frustration. Although I may want to have friendships and relationships with specific people, I may not know what is in my best interest. When I do not understand, I can choose to let go and let God. I can choose to trust that God is doing for me what I can not do for myself. I can choose to believe that God is using other people’s arrogance and ignorance to shield my life from trouble and heartache.
I can choose to believe that God is using other people’s ignorance and arrogance to move them out of my life. I can choose to believe that God is using other people’s ignorance and arrogance to help me move on with my life. I can choose to believe that God is using other people’s ignorance and arrogance as a means to empower my life.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed-door that we do not see the one that has opened before us.” Helen Keller
Here is my Contact page. Send comments and questions and I will respond to you.
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All material presented on Second Chance to Live is copyright and cannot be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without the express, written consent of Craig J. Phillips, MRC, BA
Posted in Acquired Brain Injury, Brain Injury, Caregivers, Closed Head Injury, Department of Veteran Affairs, Empowerment and Inspirational Speaker, Families impacted by brain injuries, Fulfilling your Destiny, Living with a Disability, Living with an Invisible Disability, Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, Motivaional Speaker, Motivational / Inspirational Speaker, PTSD, Parents of children with Acquired brain injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Revealing your Destiny, Self-Respect and Significance, Soldiers and Marines who sustained traumatic brain injuries, Subdural Hematoma, Traumatic / Acquired Brain Injury and Anger, Traumatic Brain Injury Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, Traumatic Brain Injury Support Groups / Meetings, Traumatic Brain Injury and Hope, Traumatic Brain Injury and Significance, Traumatic Brain Injury and You, Traumatic Brain Injury in children, Traumatic Brain and Comfort, Veterans Living with Brain Injuries, What is my Destiny?, abuse and neglect, abuse and trauma, brain injured soldiers, celebrities with brain injuries, flash explosion leading to brain Injury, head injury, learning disabilities, living life on life's terms, living with a brain injury, living with a traumatic / acquired brain injury, living with meaning and purpose, messages of hope and inspiration, spinal cord injury, stroke, traumatic / acquired brain injury, traumatic brain injury and frustration, traumatic brain injury in schools, traumatic brain injury treatment | Leave a Comment »
