The Gerbil doth protest!

Yeah, I'd like to try bringing home summa that Kimberly-Clark tube-free toilet paper.

The word from our gerbil, Jessica Awesome, is that if I 'go green' and deny her the toilet paper rolls, she'll make those French strikers look like a Girl Scout parade.

Update:  our household breathes a sigh of relief that the tubeless product is being test-marketed at that megastore where mommy refuses to shop.  Always.

I love you, Vanity Fair, but "you suck at Photoshop"

I don't pretend to be great at Photoshop. But I can do better than this. Who is this "Hamish" photoshopper guy, anyway? Is he 20? Did he get paid for that? Not one filter or hue adjustment on the whole portfolio?

Here. Just in my spare time. Not my best work, but....

And it actually looks like it could be Al Franken's body, if he worked out.   Remember Hamish, panties, even man panties, are only really funny if no one is wearing them.  Filters are your friend.  And if all else fails, desaturate.

Finally about the crotch bulges you used with the McCain and Boehner photos: the ick factor laugh is one of embarrassment, not delight.

Sweetheart of the Week, Frank Caprio

His farts smell like floating pink love clouds....

'Cause really, just how bad a candidate do you have to be if the President of the United States who is in your party decides not to endorse you when you run for Governor?

Also, the non-endorsement is basically a way of saying thanks to Lincoln Chafee, who crossed party lines to endorse Obama and is now running as an independent. Mind you, Obama did not endorse Chafee either, but...

Now that Caprio has told the media that the President can "take his endorsement and shove it" that should help Obama change his mind. Stay classy, Rhode Island!

I got yer Contract with America right here.

Dear Republican Party:

Thanks for renewing a pledge to have some kind of "Contract with America" thingy.   You guys are just the gift that keeps on giving.

But here's the deal:

We already have a contract with America.

It's called "Social Security."   Turning over that contract to Wall Street in the name of "privatization" would be breaking our contract.

We already have a contract with America.

It's called "banking regulations."

And when illegal, robo-signed foreclosures become an avenue for greedy institutions to hold on to profits in tough times, and your party advocates repeal of rules for Wall Street,  that breaks our contract with homeowners and the American Dream.

We already have a contract with America.

It's called "Veterans Benefits."

Privatizing VA hospitals would be breaking our contract with those who served our country more than any others.

We already have a contract with America.

It's called "minimum wage."

Eliminating the minimum wage and turning our country into a race to the bottom serfdom would be breaking our contract with every American worker.

We already have a contract with America.

It's called the Clean Air Act.   Putting corporate profits ahead of clean air and water is breaking our contract with our own health and well-being.  Oh, and privatizing the Centers for Disease Control is, too.

We already have a contract with America.

It's called national infrastructure.  And when corporations are allowed to disregard safety in the name of "deregulation" to the point where bridges collapse, natural gas lines explode, and the Gulf of Mexico is covered with oil, our contract is broken with Americans.  And your concentrated effort to mesmerize the public that "government's bad" has and will lead to disasters that have and will KILL people.

We already have a contract with America.  And your candidates propose breaking that contract in so many ways that you cannot be trusted to govern this nation.

Thank you.

Spot the Difference

The Friday Podcast

The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads at Professional Left.

I gotta admit, that is one cool sweater.

Space Invaders Jumper Front
Originally uploaded by PsicHo_FiSh

Yeah, somebody KNIT that.

Podcast will be up today, I promise! Honestly, you people and your podcast addiction! :D This one is good. xoxo

They live together in perfect harmony alright.

from a request by Susie Madrak http://susiemadrak.com/

Susie Madrak opines that maybe Scalia and Thomas were the entertainment at the Koch Brothers Conservative do thingie.  

Stop calling me, Mrs. Thomas!

Love Andy Borowitz:  Three things to do when Clarence Thomas's wife calls.    h/t After the Bridge.

Have we reached bottom on stupid candidates yet?

When Sharron Angle tells Hispanic young people that some of them look Asian to her....and O'Donnell doesn't realize separation of church and state is actually IN the Constitution...

...seriously, this is when liberals find our patriotism challenging.

Oh but that isn't CENTRIST, BIPARTISAN, is it?

Okay, let's broaden this to include everybody:  All I ask of ANY candidate in any party anywhere, is that if they are being a


colossal 
fucking 
idiot,

the two above examples setting the bar, will they please stop.  That is all.

Good enough for ya, Chuck Todd?  Okay fuckity bye.

I have a question.

I get it.

A tremendous outrage against an American citizen.

Ashcroft should have been fired, and should still be censured and tried for war crimes.

But I don't understand "suing" him. I don't get that. It's like the Al Capone conviction for tax evasion rather than murder, when no one is denying that Ashcroft actually treated an innocent American in an illegal, not to mention inhumane, manner.

Maybe I'm missing something. Are they arguing that this gentleman is going to sue the federal government for reparation? I don't understand the "suing Ashcroft" business. That sets a precedent for individual government employees who screw up to have their bank accounts raided for that mistake years later. That doesn't make sense, and when the tables are turned I can see teabaggers and Citzens United groups having a field day suing everyone from their congressman to a VA hospital nurse.

If we're talking about suing the government for reparations, and prosecuting Ashcroft for war crimes, I say affirmative. But if we're setting a precedent to go after Ashcroft's personal bank account, first of all that's too little too late, and secondly, I can smell campaigns by Karl Rove and NewsCorp to sue Barney Frank, just because, from here.

The coolest movie you will see this week.

The moral of the story: Knitting can save your life. :)

h/t kicking-k on Ravelry.

June, why not put a fractal on top of tonight's angel cake?

Click for larger.  Both died this weekend:

Barbara Billingsley

Benoit Mandelbrot (h/t Nicole)

And since these things happen in threes, I would be extra careful the next few if I were the inventor of psychedelic jello mold recipes.

Indebted again to my artist mom for this idea. She did a terrific oil painting of Black Panther Huey Newton and Vogue editor Diana Vreeland, who died the same day (August 22, 1989), touring heaven's bathroom.

Bill Maher / Dana Loesch lolcat

(click image for larger) Heather at Crooks and Liars wonders why Bill Maher gives teabagger lady Dana Loesch a platform on his show. I think he enjoys watching crazy women as an odd revenge for every time he was rejected by a girl in high school.

Our Regular Weekly Podcast - Blue Collars and Red Nosed Reindeer

The button below allows listeners to throw a contribution specifically towards the podcast.  Thanks for your listenership and support!  We really appreciate it:

Thanks again to Frank Chow for the graphic and Heather at Crooks and Liars Video Cafe for their help. And don't forget you can listen to our archives for free with no downloads at Professional Left.

Order me up another flagon of brain bleach, will ya?

Christine O'Donnell warns GOP officials that 

"Sean Hannity is in my back pocket."  

Following the Tea Party Logic

Dear Tea Party Voter:  I hope that when your grandchild, God forbid, needs emergency surgery, that the hospital decides to put him in the operating theater with a conservative white doctor who votes no on every procedure, and won't sterilize his equipment because the government shouldn't tell him how to run his small business.  It's totally okay, because he bases his decisions on "common sense principles" and a repeal of "government run healthcare."

Yeah, that's much better than a well-educated Hawaiian doctor who wants your grandkid to get well as soon as possible, even if it means he has to follow government regulations regarding sanitary operating procedures.

Oh.  Your grandchild doesn't have insurance, does he?   And has a pre-existing condition?  Nevermind.