3jesus97, or no votes for girls!

Although the 3jesus97 lady and I have become friends, she still alarms me on occasion. The other day we were talking about some of the trials and tribulations we face on the job along with our worries about the economy. "Be sure and vote for Obama," I told her. "He has the best chance to help us out of this mess."

"Oh, I haven't decided who I'm voting for yet," she replied. "I'll consider Obama but I would never have considered Hillary."

"You don't like her?" I asked.

"Well, no, but it's not really that. I just don't ever want a woman as President."

?????

"Excuse me?" I was flabbergasted that she would say this.

"You heard me, Tom. I don't EVER want a woman in the White House. Women are crazy! We need a man running the country."

Now remember that Sandra is from Oklahoma, but still. She's a successful Strategic Sales Executive, like me, and on top of that she is a single mom. She is a woman and she seems to be doing just fine. I reminded her of this.

"Oh believe me, I know I'm going against my own gender, but I'm a woman and I know women. And we're all crazy. Women are too vindictive. They hold grudges. That will not work in situations involving international diplomacy. Men can stab each other in the back all right, but they'll still go out hunting and drinking together afterward and it will all be just fine. A woman would NEVER go out and socialize with people she hates."


All I could think was that Sandra's mother must have been some bitch.



I think Sandra is sick in the head and I told her as much. She agrees, but still.

Sheeesh.

CP random blogging

Gentle Readers,

At CPW I don't generally blog on random items; I usually try to come up with a topic to discuss, a particular story to tell, or specific cat pictures to encourage my Gentle Readers to fawn over.

Today I am deviating from that policy. Whereas I have many a story brewing in my head, sometimes it takes a while for the meds to kick in and quiet the maelstrom in there so that I can write. Therefore, Gentle Readers, I have decided it might be better to check in with you periodically rather than make you wait for my psychosis to abate.

With that, here are my random items for today.

1. I have my own driver now. He took me to the airport earlier this year and asked if I wanted him to pick up me upon return. I said "no" at first because I've had car service "appointments" at the airport before and they usually turn into a big mess and take longer than it would just to wait for a cab. But he promised to call the airline to check on my flight number and to be there on time etc. etc. So I agreed.

The first night he met me at the airport he jumped out of the car, grabbed my suitcase, gave me this huge smile and said "Yah, you like me picking you up at the airport, don't you???" It was so cute I nearly swooned. So now I have his cell phone number and I just call him directly whenever I need a ride. He lives only four blocks from me, so I never have to give him directions. And his name is even Mo, but only because he's Egyptian.


2. I just got back from another sales conference I attended with my colleagues. The 3jesus97 lady and I have actually become very good friends, and she giggled like a schoolgirl when I told her my 11 years with Poor George are like 30 straight years.


3. The people that invited us to this sales conference are assholes. They were supposed to be "helping" us; instead, they presented a bunch of bullshit, then made each of us stand up and give a short demo on one of our products so that they could "evaluate" us, American Idol style, and choose a "winner" based on who gave the "best" presentation.

I don't mind contests when they are based on hard & fast data, e.g. on who sold the most or something like that. But to stand up and be judged and compared to colleagues based on nothing other than whom the judges decide they like the best is just offensive. Since no one likes me, of course I did not win which is all the more reason I should be annoyed.

Next time they invite me to one of these I'm going to announce that we, the attendees, will evaluate each speaker and select the "best" at the end of the meeting. And the award will be a swift kick in the ass, but I'll present one of those to each of them on accounta I'm egalitarian.


4. I had a dream this morning that we were meeting our friend Bradley at an outdoor opera, and he arrived wearing a Brunhilde helmet. As we were walking toward the amphitheater, a bunch of frat boys grabbed Bradley's helmet and ran away with it. Bradley looked so forlorn that I took after the boys to try to get the helmet back. I never caught them, but I did run into this guy from my high school who used to taunt me for being gay and then whose father later got in trouble for molesting teenage boys. What a dick. (The part about the guy with the molester father is true, although it is only in my dream that I ran into him.)


Love,
CP

3jesus97, or socio-political leanings of a Strategic Sales Executive

I have a new Strategic Sales Executive on my team, and few weeks ago she hosted a Webex for us. (For you non "Office Space" types, a Webex would be an audio/video conference call where the host can share his or her computer desktop with the call participants.)

When you set up a Webex you have to supply the participants a password. I usually choose a relatively neutral, innocuous sort of word like lawyer or chlamydia. Always does the trick.

Sandra (the new Strategic Sales Executive) however decided that her password for the group would be 3Jesus97. I thought that was odd. Then, when we were trying to log in to the call one of the participants said "what is the password again?" Sandra replied "3Jesus97. I guess that wasn't very politically correct of me! Giggle!"

Let us note that Sandra is based in Oklahoma. Just sayin'.

To get back at Sandra for her inappropriate behavior, the next time I hosted a Webex I made the password 3Buddah97.

No one laughed, which disappointed me a fair amount.

Bastards.