(1) It's a fucking book - ink on paper. Burning it doesn't hurt anyone. Ever.
(2) It's not a mosque, and it's not at Ground Zero - but even if both were true, it's not a crime, it's not wrong, and it's not even "offensive".
(3) You realize that all of you - every single one of you religious fucking nutwhacks, Christian and Muslim, that is getting all wound up about either of these (Koran burning, Cordoba Center) - are a bunch of fucking idiots, right? Even if we assume your faith is absolutely right and correct, what the other side is doing is pointless and not going to hurt you at all.
(4) So, seriously, STFU, all of you. Pastor Terry "I'm A Goat-Raping Asswipe" Jones, Idiot Asshole Muslims rioting in Pakistan and Afghanistan, Newt "Dog-Felcher" Gingrich, the rest of the teabaggers - ALL OF YOU. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
Labor Day Musings, From Someone That Used To Have A Job
It's Labor Day here in the US.
The day we celebrate the American worker, upon whose back our country was built.
There's not much to celebrate, these days. Corporate fatcats are sending our industries overseas, because it's cheaper in the short term to buy from China. Our technical jobs are being given to cheaper workers brought in on visas procured under false pretenses - that, or they get shipped to India. Undocumented workers do our cooking, cleaning, house construction and lawn work, and our government turns a blind eye to the employers that are cutting our workers out of their jobs.
The taxes that could fund our nation's economic recovery aren't coming in, because it's more important to the policy makers to give corporations and the wealthiest 2% of our citizens a massive tax cut. Instead, the programs that are keeping our economy on life support are cut - unemployment compensation is held hostage by the minority party, and the majority party refuses to force the issue, because a few conservative fuckbags in their own party want to feel important.
A significant portion of the voters have been terrified by the old bogeymen of race and class warfare, and their unwillingness to accept a changing demographic landscape is trumpeted as a sea change in American politics by a TV network that is a blatant product of the minority party.
I'm reading up on the fall of the Roman Republic, and the decline and collapse of the Western and Eastern empires. I look at our recent history, and I'm not the only one that sees parallels between now and the Great Depression - or that the policy makers are too stupid, greedy or blind to realize that they've failed to learn from that history, and are making the same mistakes, magnified.
So fuck you, all you oh-so-clever MBAs. Fuck you, cowardly "centrist" politicians. Fuck you, Fox news. And fuck you, Tebaggers. Fuck you all hard. You've doomed us all.
Maybe we're getting the government we deserve. There's a cheerful thought.
The day we celebrate the American worker, upon whose back our country was built.
There's not much to celebrate, these days. Corporate fatcats are sending our industries overseas, because it's cheaper in the short term to buy from China. Our technical jobs are being given to cheaper workers brought in on visas procured under false pretenses - that, or they get shipped to India. Undocumented workers do our cooking, cleaning, house construction and lawn work, and our government turns a blind eye to the employers that are cutting our workers out of their jobs.
The taxes that could fund our nation's economic recovery aren't coming in, because it's more important to the policy makers to give corporations and the wealthiest 2% of our citizens a massive tax cut. Instead, the programs that are keeping our economy on life support are cut - unemployment compensation is held hostage by the minority party, and the majority party refuses to force the issue, because a few conservative fuckbags in their own party want to feel important.
A significant portion of the voters have been terrified by the old bogeymen of race and class warfare, and their unwillingness to accept a changing demographic landscape is trumpeted as a sea change in American politics by a TV network that is a blatant product of the minority party.
I'm reading up on the fall of the Roman Republic, and the decline and collapse of the Western and Eastern empires. I look at our recent history, and I'm not the only one that sees parallels between now and the Great Depression - or that the policy makers are too stupid, greedy or blind to realize that they've failed to learn from that history, and are making the same mistakes, magnified.
So fuck you, all you oh-so-clever MBAs. Fuck you, cowardly "centrist" politicians. Fuck you, Fox news. And fuck you, Tebaggers. Fuck you all hard. You've doomed us all.
Maybe we're getting the government we deserve. There's a cheerful thought.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Awesome
| Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury | UCBcomedy.com |
| Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com | |
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Happy Bastille Day
On this day in 1789, the citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille. This is regarded as the beginning of the French Revolution.
I have to say, no matter how badly the Noble Experiment of the French ended up, there's stuff that came out of it that I can't help but approve of.
First, of course, is the Déclaration des droits de l'Homme et du Citoyen. It goes beyond the ground laid by the Declaration of Independence. It was followed by the Déclaration des droits de la femme et de la citoyenne, which specifically addressed the concept of equality between the sexes. The French revolutionaries grasped early on that slavery, sexism and religious bigotry were incompatible with an ostensibly free society.
Second, the French knew what to do with Aristos. If there's one thing I hate with a passion, it's the very concept of an aristocracy. Hereditary privilege is something I find disgusting, and I have no respect for anyone that thinks a simple accident of genetics places them above the rest of humanity. Yeah, publicly executing them was over the line - I think reeducation and some honest work would be a better remedy. I mean, imagine if George W. Bush had been made to earn a real living instead of coasting on Poppy's influence. What might we have been spared if that incompetent sack of shit hadn't got a leg up on the rest of us?
I salute the French - without them, the United States wouldn't exist. Their revolution came from ours, and had they been able to hold to their ideals without the extremists running away with things, I like to think we'd've been spared Napoleon and a lot of the negative developments of the 19th Century, possibly even the two world wars of the 20th century.
But, hey, well done, France. I salute you.
I have to say, no matter how badly the Noble Experiment of the French ended up, there's stuff that came out of it that I can't help but approve of.
First, of course, is the Déclaration des droits de l'Homme et du Citoyen. It goes beyond the ground laid by the Declaration of Independence. It was followed by the Déclaration des droits de la femme et de la citoyenne, which specifically addressed the concept of equality between the sexes. The French revolutionaries grasped early on that slavery, sexism and religious bigotry were incompatible with an ostensibly free society.
Second, the French knew what to do with Aristos. If there's one thing I hate with a passion, it's the very concept of an aristocracy. Hereditary privilege is something I find disgusting, and I have no respect for anyone that thinks a simple accident of genetics places them above the rest of humanity. Yeah, publicly executing them was over the line - I think reeducation and some honest work would be a better remedy. I mean, imagine if George W. Bush had been made to earn a real living instead of coasting on Poppy's influence. What might we have been spared if that incompetent sack of shit hadn't got a leg up on the rest of us?
I salute the French - without them, the United States wouldn't exist. Their revolution came from ours, and had they been able to hold to their ideals without the extremists running away with things, I like to think we'd've been spared Napoleon and a lot of the negative developments of the 19th Century, possibly even the two world wars of the 20th century.
But, hey, well done, France. I salute you.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Fun With LaRouche Douches
Dunno how many of you remember Lyndon LaRouche, one of the premier whackaloon fucknuts in recent American politics. Anyhoo, his folks were at the state convention.
The LaRouche Douches were standing around outside with their "Impeach Obama - BP = British Puppet" signs. A young German girl approached me and asked me to sign their petition ostensibly in favor of reinstating the Glass-Steagall Act. I saw "LaRouche" at the top and knew what it was really about - Queen Elizabeth's Sekrit Control of InternationalJewry Banking and her Trilateral Commission Drug Ring ZOMG KUNSPEERASY ELEVENTY!!!1!!11!!!
Then she started telling me that Obama was responsible for the BP oil spill, and that it was an attack by the nation of Britain on the United States.
So I asked her how Obama was responsible for decisions made by executives and engineers at BP, some of which were made well before he was sworn into office, and how an accident born of carelessness and corporate corner-cutting was an attack by the UK on the US. She then started sputtering and repeating herself. I cut her off.
"Where do the Reptoids fit into all of this?"
"Ze Reptods?"
"Reptoids. You know, the Secret Alien Shapeshifting Reptiles that work behind the scenes to control the world? The Queen is one, doncha know."
She smiled uncertainly. "I'm not zhure vot you are saying, sir?" (Take it as given that the more confused she got, the thicker her accent became - I won't torture you by trying to replicate it)
I sighed heavily. "The Reptoids are from a star in the constellation Draconis (which was named by the Sumerians, who knew them as Dagon). They replaced the British Royal family during the reign of King George III (his so-called "madness" was how the Reptoids isolated him to steal his skin) and control the Rothschild family as well."
"Wait, I don't-"
I was on a roll. "The Bavarian Illuminati were started by Adam Weishaupt in an attempt to build a secret network dedicated to opposing the machinations of the Reptoids, but Reptoid (and Centauran - remind me to tell you about them in a minute) agents in the Catholic Church exposed them before they could broadcast the Secret message Of Universal Peace described in the gospels of the Rosicrucians-"
"Sir, I think-"
"Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup! Still explaining, here! Anyway, the Rosicrusians, led by John Dee, successfully kept the Reptoids out of Elizabethan England thanks to Sir Francis Drake's use of Greek Fire (actually, a laser death ray designed by Hero of Alexandria, the plans for which were thought destroyed in the great fire that burned the great library, but were saved by Irish Monks and spirited away to Glastonbury in the same box as the Cup of Christ, the Holy Grail) against the Spanish Armada. Are you with me so far?"
She nodded weakly, panic in her eyes. She was obviously unprepared to have her Crazy met with hard-core, full-on 110% KRAXY. I was just beginning to launch into an explanation of how the Tarot was a symbol of psychic archetypes that, used properly, could awaken in everyone the power of Christian Rosenkreutz. I was going to describe how, by using sacred Tibetan meditation techniques in conjunction with Mayan self-mutilation and Native American peyote rituals, one could access the powers awakened by the archetype of The Fool through careful viewing and ritual use of the plays Hamlet and Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, but one of the other LaRouche Douches saw her frantic signals for help and came and broke off the conversation. As they (and their friends) hurried away, I followed them shouting, "WAIT! YOU'RE NOT SAFE! THE REPTOIDS WILL EAT YOUR BRAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSSS!"
The Democrats outside seemed to appreciate my performance - I got a big round of applause.
The LaRouche Douches were standing around outside with their "Impeach Obama - BP = British Puppet" signs. A young German girl approached me and asked me to sign their petition ostensibly in favor of reinstating the Glass-Steagall Act. I saw "LaRouche" at the top and knew what it was really about - Queen Elizabeth's Sekrit Control of International
Then she started telling me that Obama was responsible for the BP oil spill, and that it was an attack by the nation of Britain on the United States.
So I asked her how Obama was responsible for decisions made by executives and engineers at BP, some of which were made well before he was sworn into office, and how an accident born of carelessness and corporate corner-cutting was an attack by the UK on the US. She then started sputtering and repeating herself. I cut her off.
"Where do the Reptoids fit into all of this?"
"Ze Reptods?"
"Reptoids. You know, the Secret Alien Shapeshifting Reptiles that work behind the scenes to control the world? The Queen is one, doncha know."
She smiled uncertainly. "I'm not zhure vot you are saying, sir?" (Take it as given that the more confused she got, the thicker her accent became - I won't torture you by trying to replicate it)
I sighed heavily. "The Reptoids are from a star in the constellation Draconis (which was named by the Sumerians, who knew them as Dagon). They replaced the British Royal family during the reign of King George III (his so-called "madness" was how the Reptoids isolated him to steal his skin) and control the Rothschild family as well."
"Wait, I don't-"
I was on a roll. "The Bavarian Illuminati were started by Adam Weishaupt in an attempt to build a secret network dedicated to opposing the machinations of the Reptoids, but Reptoid (and Centauran - remind me to tell you about them in a minute) agents in the Catholic Church exposed them before they could broadcast the Secret message Of Universal Peace described in the gospels of the Rosicrucians-"
"Sir, I think-"
"Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup! Still explaining, here! Anyway, the Rosicrusians, led by John Dee, successfully kept the Reptoids out of Elizabethan England thanks to Sir Francis Drake's use of Greek Fire (actually, a laser death ray designed by Hero of Alexandria, the plans for which were thought destroyed in the great fire that burned the great library, but were saved by Irish Monks and spirited away to Glastonbury in the same box as the Cup of Christ, the Holy Grail) against the Spanish Armada. Are you with me so far?"
She nodded weakly, panic in her eyes. She was obviously unprepared to have her Crazy met with hard-core, full-on 110% KRAXY. I was just beginning to launch into an explanation of how the Tarot was a symbol of psychic archetypes that, used properly, could awaken in everyone the power of Christian Rosenkreutz. I was going to describe how, by using sacred Tibetan meditation techniques in conjunction with Mayan self-mutilation and Native American peyote rituals, one could access the powers awakened by the archetype of The Fool through careful viewing and ritual use of the plays Hamlet and Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, but one of the other LaRouche Douches saw her frantic signals for help and came and broke off the conversation. As they (and their friends) hurried away, I followed them shouting, "WAIT! YOU'RE NOT SAFE! THE REPTOIDS WILL EAT YOUR BRAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSSS!"
The Democrats outside seemed to appreciate my performance - I got a big round of applause.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Live, From Corpus Christi
OK, going to try and liveblog for a bit from the floor of the Texas Democratic Party State Convention.
11:00 AM - Here we go - we're called to order. Why do I always feel compelled to shout, "PLAY BALL!" after the National Anthem is sung?
11:10 AM - OK, some foofraw about permanent officers. Vote went quickly. Now for President of TX AFL/CIO. Introducing Linda Chavez-Thompson for Lt. Gov. Heard her speak at Stonewall Dems caucus yesterday. She's a fireball - good on labor and equality issues.
11:14 AM - Slamming Perry's SBOE - easy target, but nice to see them get knocked around.
11:16 AM - Now taking shots at Governor Goodhair - another low, slow and easy one across the center of the plate. "How many zeroes are there in 19 billion? Eleven - if you count Perry and Dewhurst."
************
11:21 AM - Addressing dropout rate, literacy. Rethug platform wants to abolish federally-funded Pre-K. Good to see fighters like Linda - dynamic, connects well to working class families.
11:26 AM - Quoted Jim Hightower re: Goodhair's attempts to connect with Latino community - "You can stuff a jalapeno in a pig, but that don't make it a chorizo." Good unity at top of Dem ticket - Chavez-Thompson singing bill White's praises.
11:29 AM - OK, let's see who's up next.
***********
11:30 AM - More business. Convention officers, Senate District co-chairs.
11:35 AM - Nominations Committee report completed. Michael Barnes and Boyd Richie nominated for chair of State Party. Still not sure about the vote - Richie has experience and connections on his side, Barnes is talking smart strategy. Hurm.
11:47 AM - Barnes from RGV, has support from Valley Dems. Pushing populist angle. His speech is energetic, but somewhat excited. Stumbling a little. Endorsed by Hispanic Caucus.
11:48 AM - Should be an interesting vote. If Barnes wins, will the rest of the party leadership work with him?
11:48 AM - Richie angling for Latino support as well. Gonzalo Barrientos speaking on behalf of Boyd Richie
11:49 AM - Now Kirk Watson - Old Guard behind Richie.
11:55 AM - Boyd Richie speaking. Dallas County 100% Dem elected officials, statewide Democratic voter database. Why should we vote for him because he's married? Kind of random, IYAM.
11:57 AM - off to vote by district. brb
12:06 PM - Voted for Richie, ultimately. State chair requires certain amount of insider connections. Barnes inexperienced, hope he will continue to work with party statewide for the future.
12:08 PM - So far, tally is going hard toward Richie. Party I think is hopeful for current path.
12:14 PM - Barnes pulling strong votes in RGV. Regional politics at play here - both parties have tended to neglect the Valley, hope Dems don't take it for granted. Losing battery power, so will shut down in a bit.
12:21 PM - Some SDs taking more time to count votes.
12:24 PM - Richie wins, close to 5:1 margin. More later.
2:36 PM - Found an open wall outlet, finally. Debate over Texas Dems' 2-step primary/caucus system. Getting impassioned on both sides. Rules committee voted 20-8 against ending process of primary followed by precinct caucus to select delegates to county conventions. I support this system - it encourages closer ties among Dems in each precinct, builds ties to county and state parties. Can see, though, how it can be an impediment to those unable to attend caucus. I think, though, that the hysteria about loss of voting rights is just that - hysteria. Primary votes are counted, the caucus does not override the election. Opponents of system are shouting a lot, but don't think they'll win.
3:01 PM - Sorry, a vote got called in mid-update, had to slam the laptop shut and run back into the arena. SD reports coming in. So far, heavily in support of the two-step process.
3:03 PM - Hope this isn't boring folks. I'm enjoying this process, and my chance to participate.
3:07 PM - Still going against change in process, last couple of SD margins have been closer but still solidly against.
3:14 PM - Pause in voting while a SD recalculates totals.
3:15 PM - Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap *whistles impatiently*
3:16 PM - Results are in - 5602.65 NO, 1930 YES. Two-step process will remain in place. Rules committee report is done.
3:18 PM - Looks like major votes are all done, back to speechifying. Think I'll try to beat traffic going home.
11:00 AM - Here we go - we're called to order. Why do I always feel compelled to shout, "PLAY BALL!" after the National Anthem is sung?
11:10 AM - OK, some foofraw about permanent officers. Vote went quickly. Now for President of TX AFL/CIO. Introducing Linda Chavez-Thompson for Lt. Gov. Heard her speak at Stonewall Dems caucus yesterday. She's a fireball - good on labor and equality issues.
11:14 AM - Slamming Perry's SBOE - easy target, but nice to see them get knocked around.
11:16 AM - Now taking shots at Governor Goodhair - another low, slow and easy one across the center of the plate. "How many zeroes are there in 19 billion? Eleven - if you count Perry and Dewhurst."
************
11:21 AM - Addressing dropout rate, literacy. Rethug platform wants to abolish federally-funded Pre-K. Good to see fighters like Linda - dynamic, connects well to working class families.
11:26 AM - Quoted Jim Hightower re: Goodhair's attempts to connect with Latino community - "You can stuff a jalapeno in a pig, but that don't make it a chorizo." Good unity at top of Dem ticket - Chavez-Thompson singing bill White's praises.
11:29 AM - OK, let's see who's up next.
***********
11:30 AM - More business. Convention officers, Senate District co-chairs.
11:35 AM - Nominations Committee report completed. Michael Barnes and Boyd Richie nominated for chair of State Party. Still not sure about the vote - Richie has experience and connections on his side, Barnes is talking smart strategy. Hurm.
11:47 AM - Barnes from RGV, has support from Valley Dems. Pushing populist angle. His speech is energetic, but somewhat excited. Stumbling a little. Endorsed by Hispanic Caucus.
11:48 AM - Should be an interesting vote. If Barnes wins, will the rest of the party leadership work with him?
11:48 AM - Richie angling for Latino support as well. Gonzalo Barrientos speaking on behalf of Boyd Richie
11:49 AM - Now Kirk Watson - Old Guard behind Richie.
11:55 AM - Boyd Richie speaking. Dallas County 100% Dem elected officials, statewide Democratic voter database. Why should we vote for him because he's married? Kind of random, IYAM.
11:57 AM - off to vote by district. brb
12:06 PM - Voted for Richie, ultimately. State chair requires certain amount of insider connections. Barnes inexperienced, hope he will continue to work with party statewide for the future.
12:08 PM - So far, tally is going hard toward Richie. Party I think is hopeful for current path.
12:14 PM - Barnes pulling strong votes in RGV. Regional politics at play here - both parties have tended to neglect the Valley, hope Dems don't take it for granted. Losing battery power, so will shut down in a bit.
12:21 PM - Some SDs taking more time to count votes.
12:24 PM - Richie wins, close to 5:1 margin. More later.
2:36 PM - Found an open wall outlet, finally. Debate over Texas Dems' 2-step primary/caucus system. Getting impassioned on both sides. Rules committee voted 20-8 against ending process of primary followed by precinct caucus to select delegates to county conventions. I support this system - it encourages closer ties among Dems in each precinct, builds ties to county and state parties. Can see, though, how it can be an impediment to those unable to attend caucus. I think, though, that the hysteria about loss of voting rights is just that - hysteria. Primary votes are counted, the caucus does not override the election. Opponents of system are shouting a lot, but don't think they'll win.
3:01 PM - Sorry, a vote got called in mid-update, had to slam the laptop shut and run back into the arena. SD reports coming in. So far, heavily in support of the two-step process.
3:03 PM - Hope this isn't boring folks. I'm enjoying this process, and my chance to participate.
3:07 PM - Still going against change in process, last couple of SD margins have been closer but still solidly against.
3:14 PM - Pause in voting while a SD recalculates totals.
3:15 PM - Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap *whistles impatiently*
3:16 PM - Results are in - 5602.65 NO, 1930 YES. Two-step process will remain in place. Rules committee report is done.
3:18 PM - Looks like major votes are all done, back to speechifying. Think I'll try to beat traffic going home.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Off Politickin'
Tomorrow morning, it's off to Corpus Christi for the State Democratic Convention.
I'm a little nervous about it, but I figure the odds are it'll go one of two ways:
(1) I fuck up and get put on some committee where I have to do shit.
(2) I piss a bunch of people off and never get invited back again.
Either way, it'll be an interesting adventure. I'll try to post something or other from the convention - you can always follow me on Twitter (@aclipscomb) to see what I'm doing in 140-character updates. I get back late Saturday night, and hopefully, I'll get to sleep late on Sunday.
I'm a little nervous about it, but I figure the odds are it'll go one of two ways:
(1) I fuck up and get put on some committee where I have to do shit.
(2) I piss a bunch of people off and never get invited back again.
Either way, it'll be an interesting adventure. I'll try to post something or other from the convention - you can always follow me on Twitter (@aclipscomb) to see what I'm doing in 140-character updates. I get back late Saturday night, and hopefully, I'll get to sleep late on Sunday.
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