Paperback 203: Who's Afraid + Widow's Mite / Elisabeth Sanxay Holding (Ace G-524)

Paperback 203: Ace G-524 (1st ptg / 1st ptg, ca. 1963)

Titles: Who's Afraid / Widow's Mite
Author: Elisabeth Sanxay Holding
Cover artist: Brulé / uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Man hands. Seriously, look at those things. My god. I fear for her upper head.
• "I remember embracing some generic man ... and the corpse of Bela Lugosi was there ... oh, it's all so fuzzy..."
• This book should be called "Who's Depressed?"

Best things about this other cover:

• "... and he threw the decapitated head of the young boy through the open window. The End."
• I guess there was a sale on "Dour Blue" at the art store when these covers were being painted.
• That blurb is pretty tepid: "Eh, you could do worse, I guess."
  
• Is a "mite" what I think it is? Dang, a "widow's mite" is "A small contribution made by one who has little" This is disappointing, as I was imagining this would be a story about a. a widow who kept a tiny bug as a pet, or b. a widow who enjoyed wearing a MITRE (of mysterious origin)

Page 123 (of "Widow's Mite")~

"Now!" she said. "Now you're going to get what's coming to you, you damn smug little bitch! You're going to be arrested, any minute. You'll be in jail tonight. And you'll end up in the electric chair!"

~RP

Paperback 183: Death is the Last Lover / Henry Kane (Avon T-291)

Paperback 183: Avon T-291 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Death is the Last Lover
Author: Henry Kane
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• The color scheme. It's gutsy - pink, baby blue, and then ... some kind of maroon
• The title - sensationalist writing at its best / worst. Does she literally sleep with Death, or does her John kill her, or what?
• Thank god Death was her last lover - that makes a much better title than "Herb the Copier Salesman from Wichita is the Last Lover"
• Her face is unfortunate. The painting makes her look vapid, which is inherently unsexy. I do dig that oversized hat box she's sitting on, though. Her legs and cleavage aren't awful either.

Best things about this back cover:

• Personally, I like "bosoms and brandies" with pretty much anything.
• That negligee has too many adjectives. It stopped being sexy right around adjective #3
• Oh look, it's that insipid face again. Nope, it's no sexier in blue tone.

Page 123~

I sat near her, enjoying the warmth of her thigh. "Honey," I said, "you're a nice, sweet, attractive gal, and I'm crazy about you."

"Yeah, I remember," she said.

Wow, she talks a lot cooler than she looks.

Paperback 154: Over Night / Norman Bligh (Venus Books 106)

Paperback 154: Venus Books 106 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: Over Night
Author: Norman Bligh
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $30



Best things about this cover:

• I can't believe they scrapped "HARLOT IN HER HEART" for this crappy title - it doesn't even make sense. If that kid is going to stay "overnight" at this lady's apartment, then "overnight" should be one word. Unless her name is "Night" and he's about to position himself "Over" her, in which case, tell me more ...
• "Gee, Miss McGillicuddy, your hair sure looks ... stable."
• "Uh, Miss McGillicuddy, I think you've lit the divan on fire with your cigarette. Here, I'll just put out the smoldering fabric with my shoe."
• "Miss McGillicuddy, ma'am, I know my gray streaks are odd for a kid my age, but could you not stare at me like that ... it's making me feel all nauseous and sweaty."
• OK, back to the title - it's not a phrase! If you Google "Over Night" you will be asked if you meant "overnight" - "No, I meant the famous novel by the author of SIN CHILD." Stupid Google.

Best things about this back cover:

• Regular Venus, Electric Venus, Regular Venus, Electric Venus...

Page 123~

OK, first, I flipped this book open to page one and this is the first phrase I read: "The raw liquid slid down her throat..." - so we're off to a good start.

Second, this book has PHOTOS!!!! Why have I never bothered to open this book until just this second?? They are all rich, these photos, but this one has to be my favorite:


They let you dress like that in prison? And what is she doing with those bars? Trying to give herself more cleavage?

Now, where was I? Page 123, right. This page begins a bonus, very short story at the end of the book (?) entitled "Kisses of Passion" (!) by Viola Cornett (!?). Here is the opposite-page photo:


And the opening paragraph:

Margie Peterson stared at her best friend in sheer disgust, as Bruce Carter went back into his private office and closed the door behind him. She said, "You're plumb crazy! Working nights for that guy won't get you anything but - work. Oh, I know you're nuts about him. But he's just a walking briefcase with a handsome face. Besides, he's engaged to the boss' daughter, remember?"

Margie was still honing her metaphor skills - she needed practice if she was ever going to head out onto the competitive metaphoring circuit.

~RP

Paperback 90: The Hot Diary (Howard J. Olmsted) / Ring Around a Rogue (J. M. Flynn) (Ace Double D-459)

Paperback 90: Ace Double D-459 (PBO 1960 / PBO 1960)

Title: The Hot Diary / Ring Around a Rogue
Author: Howard J. Olmsted / J.M. Flynn
Cover artist: uncredited / uncredited

Yours for: SOLD (early May 2008)


Best things about this cover:

• Don't make Robert Stack angry. You wouldn't like Robert Stack when he's angry
• This cover is great - quintessential hard-boiled with a mod style (again, love pink in my hard-boiled covers). They are both dressed impeccably. Her dress is fierce (love the black accents, especially the band and bow toward the hemline), and he carries off a trench-coat way better than most dopey goons.
• Does this count as "bondage?" I'm counting it. I imagine that her hands are tied. That, or she lost her right arm in the war or a freak fishing accident.
• "Never Write About Murder" - uh ... you just did.

PAGE 23~

I wouldn't have minded if she'd slapped me or swore at me. But her calm, unmoved acceptance of the kiss frosted me. It hit me where I lived, in my pride.

Best things about this cover:

• These two covers make a nice pair: "Things To Do With a Girl When You're Armed": "You can grab her like this ... or kiss her like this ... it's up to you."
• Here's a sexless sex scene if I've ever seen one. He looks ... wooden. "Let's see, I put my gun ... here, and my left hand reaches around like ... so. OK. What do I do with my lips again?" Etc.
• The painting here does nothing to up the eros. The paint looks hastily daubed on. She has that horrid bottle-blond rubbery head look (see the "Finger Man" cover), and rarely have I been so unmoved by so much female skin.
• "A Car, A Girl and A Gun" - or "Copywriter Gives Up, Decides Life's Meaningless" - that's him there, plummeting over that cliff in the car.

PAGE 123~

Deal grabbed him by the shirt front, yanked him from the sofa, and backhanded the expressionless face. Blood trickled from the corner of the flat lips but Chiong did not cry out.

~RP

Paperback 86: Finger Man / Raymond Chandler (Avon 219)

Paperback 86: Avon 219 (1st ptg*, 1950)

*Originally published as Avon Mystery Monthly 43, 1946

Title: Finger Man
Author: Raymond Chandler
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $50


Best things about this cover:

• The lady is hot and all, but it's Joey Green Visor who really sells this cover. He's either trying to commiserate with Captain Handsome about how stunning the lady is, or else he is starstruck because he thinks Captain Handsome is Clark Gable.
• This woman is in Desperate need of a new hairdo. Her hair has all the textural allure of sculpted rubber. Plus, that left nipple ... it's like I'm staring down the barrel of a gun.
• "Oh, excuse me, I seem to have dropped my bulging wallet ..."
• I see the "roulette wheel," but ... where's the "redhead?"
• In case you didn't know, Raymond Chandler rules. Best Crime Fiction Writer Ever.

Best things about this back cover:

• The fact that all the adjectives in the line "Fast Action, Hard Women, and Ruthless Crime" are interchangeable.
• Shakespeare Head!
• "Blood-and-sex" is a category of writer?
• Please notice all the hyphens. I'm telling you, it's a rule: Toughness is proportional to hyphen density.

I have this theory that if you take the best line out of any crime novel of your choosing, and then take the best line on a random page of any Chandler novel, the Chandler line will win hands down. I will now test this theory on ... Page 123!

"Shut up, snow-bird!" Mallory snapped. "Nobody's getting anybody. This is just a talk between friends. Get up on your feet and stop throwin' curves!"

"Mallory" was the name of Chandler's detective in the early days, before he settled into my personal hero, Philip Marlowe.

RP

PS thanks to Todd Robbins at The Modern Con Man for naming this site his "Site of the Week." His book is beautiful and you should buy it.