57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 28

First, an announcement. The winner of "The Secret of Sylvia" (as determined by random.org) is ... MARLA! Send me your address and I'll get the book out to you ASAP.

Now, onto a new book!

Title: Pastoral (Ballantine X757, 1963)
Author: Nevil Shute
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $5 (free if your hair is shaped like a massive sideways comma)

• "I promise — I will return with the cure for Wedge Head. And then ... I Will Find You!"
• I got nothing else. Her hair is the only reason I noticed this book at all.
• "Urgent, tender and strong" is making me giggle a little

• Happy 110th birthday, Nevil Shute!

Page 123~

The Dane smiled ruefully.

Honestly, one of my favorite "Page 123" quotes in a long time

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 289: Kill Him Twice / Richard S. Prather (Pocket Books 55025)

Paperback 289: Pocket Books 55025 (6th ptg, 1968)

Title: Kill Him Twice
Author: Richard S. Prather
Cover artist: Schlocky Crapperson

Yours for: Not For Sale (gift of Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• Well, it's yellow. With orange font. That's pretty original.
• Her hair ... her hair ... it's OK, until it gets over her elbow, and then it becomes something unrecognizable, bordering on unholy. Are those dead stoats hanging off her head? A dirty bathmat? A skein of brownish yarn.
• It appears that Pocket couldn't afford to pay cover artists any more, and so had to resort to picking old sketches and doodles out of the waste baskets and passing them off as art. Here, we see the partial remains of "Artist practicing drawing a dead guy."
• "I said 'Kill him twice,' not "Kill him and a guy who looks just like him!'"

Best things about this back cover:

• Nice big gun hand. Can't ask for much else.

Page 123~

They were lips that said hello and were warm friends two seconds later, carrying on a conversation Cassanova would have censored, carrying on a dialogue to bring dead libidoes back from limbo, carrying on a bedroomy hoo-hah in hot, hushed whispers—man, how they carried on.

I think "hoo-hah" means something different from what I thought it meant.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 233: The Sisterhood / Sheldon Lord (pseud. of Lawrence Block) (Softcover Library S95189)

Paperback 233: Softcover Library S95189 (unknown ptg, 1970?)

Title: The Sisterhood
Author: Sheldon Lord (pseud. of Lawrence Block)
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• "Oh, your Scottie-hair wig is so soft ... it makes me want to unbutton my shirt..."
• If there's one thing lesbians love more than anything else, it's grooming each other like monkeys.
• The tall one looks like a transsexual Joan Collins ... is that redundant?
• "swamp of bisexual love!" - worst thing about it: all the damned mosquitoes

Best things about this back cover:

• "For Women Only" - somehow, I doubt that
• "Happy Lesbos Hunting Ground" should totally, Totally be the name of a Vermont resort
• "Countess!" O, man, this stuff is rich
• "Infiltrate men's professions" - holy crap, it's an allegory about feminism. E.R.A. = exotic lesbian plot
• "strange" = paperback cover word of choice for referring to the gays. See also "twilight world," "in-between," etc.

Page 123~

Persistent, isn't he? she thought to herself. Then into the phone, "Look, Brad. Let's take this from the top, huh? I mean - besides the fact that I happen to be, shall we say, occupied - there's something that maybe you haven't thought of."

"Huh? What?" he said desperately.

~RP

P.S. Everyone within earshot of this blog is going to want to go out and pick up / order a copy of "Dames, Dolls & Gun Molls: The Art of Robert A. Maguire" (Dark Horse, 2009). It's a loving, glossy, gorgeous tribute to the greatest paperback cover artist that ever lived (IMHO). Literally, every page I turn, I find myself whispering "wow..." It's a reasonably affordable oversized paperback - the large scale reproductions of the art are what really make this book worthwhile. Plus it has lots of insights into Maguire's process, some of the photos he used as references, pencil sketches, etc. See an online flipbook version of the book here. Then buy it. Now.


P.P.S. Article by writer Brian Ritt about sleaze fiction master Orrie Hitt - find it here (this is why I "Follow" Christa Faust on Twitter)

Paperback 221: Like Love / Ed McBain (Permabooks M-4289)

Paperback 221: Permabooks M-4289 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Like Love
Author: Ed McBain
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Yours for: SOLD (June '09)


Best things about this cover:

• "Dear God, please let me score with this chick from Cirque de Soleil. Amen."
• "Dammit! Why won't my eyebrows stay *down*!?"
• "Man, my thumbnails look *weird* up close..."
• "Oh, Steve, I'm tired of you and your shadow puppets. Can't we just get back to hanging drapery?"
• What the hell is with the title?: "It's *like* love, baby, just ... minus all the caring and sharing and listening to your damned problems. OK?"
• This will sound odd, but the softness of the coloring and the fine pattern on the wallpaper reminds me of John Singer Sargent portrait that I love.

Best things about this back cover:

• Tommy and Irene - sounds like a one-hit wonder pop duo from 1963
• Carella and Hawes - sounds like a crime-fighting duo from 1974
• "ourselfs" - ouch
• Authentic imitation wood paneling! Really, one of the awesomest design choices in modern back cover art history

Page 123~

"Miscolo!" he yelled.
"Yo!" Miscolo yelled back from the Clerical Office.
"Bring in some iodine and some Band-Aids, will you?"
"Yo!" Miscolo answered.

~RP

Paperback 208: Beat Not the Bones / Charlotte Jay (Avon PN286)

Paperback 208: Avon PN286 (6th ptg, 1970)

Title: Beat Not the Bones
Author: Charlotte Jay
Cover artist: Uncredited (come on, someone must know this...)

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Let's start with the title ...
• Because honestly, I'm not sure where to begin ...
• Beat Not the Bones! - for if you do, the Psychedelic South American Tree God will alight on your head with mind-altering fury!
• Revealed!: the secret of soprano Alma Gluck's outstanding voice!

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hair-raising" is not an effective qualifier of or follow-up to "persuasive." I mean, really - how do you en-dash your way from "hair-raising" to "persuasive?" That is nuts, New York Herald Tribune.
• "Proceeding?" It's not a trial. Horrible blurbs! Hey, I have a new blog tag.
• Civilization = innocence = sanity. Nice.
• "Rumors whispered suicide" - yes, when you play it backwards, the American version of Fleetwood Mac's most popular album does just that. And to think, Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne got all the bad press.

Page 123~

"I'm not at all well," he stated. "Fever always put my nerves on edge and those damn Kerema dogs come over and root up all my vegetables."

~RP

Paperback 189: The Sound and the Fury / William Faulkner (Signet D1628)

Paperback 189: Signet D1628 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: The Sound and the Fury
Author: William Faulkner
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: SOLD! (1/19/09)


Best things about this cover:

• Best thing? Hmmm. I can't decide. It's either the sound or the fury.
• I see the "Fury" (Yul Brenner tries to strangle Joanne Woodward) - the "Sound"? I guess it's the sound of me gasping at the sight of Yul Brenner with hair.
• This blue tint is so dark that it renders the picture almost irrelevant. I love the hand-drawn fon on the title. Makes the book look like an adaptation of a wacky Disney movie.

Best things about this back cover:

• "DECAY" - Why would I read any farther after that? That is perhaps the best single-word tagline I've ever seen on a book. And the bright, whimsical font! Inspired.
  
• By the picture, I would surmise that this is the story of an aging pirate with a bad hairpiece and massive pit stains who wants nothing more than for Maria from "Sound of Music" to admire his chest hair.

Page 123~

"Oh, forget your damned clothes. Does your eye hurt?"

I can't believe I just Page 123'd William Faulkner. John Faulkner, sure, but William? The indignity!

~RP

Paperback 170: A Korean Tiger / Nick Carter (Award Books A248X)

Paperback 170: Award Books A248X (PBO, 1967)

• Title: A Korean Tiger
• Author: Nick Carter (who is also the main character...? and who is also, btw, a Backstreet Boy)
• Cover artist: Some McGinnis imitator

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• Bring me the floating head of Nick Carter! Oh, nevermind. It's right there.
• The disembodied head of Nick Carter thinks you're a swell-looking doll. {wink!}
• If the book is trying to suggest to me that that lady is "Korean," I challenge. She looks like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, only with somewhat smaller boobs and no shirt.
• I like how she is taking a sidelong glance at the title, as if thinking "WTF?"
• How is it possible that no rapper has picked up the name "Killmaster?" That would be my handle for sure. That, or "Optimum Slim" (a name I derived from the cereal I eat every morning)
• Fake Korean Post-op Elvira Impersonator needs a refill, dammit!

Best things about this back cover.

• Text! Who doesn't like ... that?
• Oh my god, I am in love with this book - any book that features the word "slatternly" is hottt with three t's.
• I hope the "dark underbelly of Asia" is just some really hairy Laotian guy.
• Paragraph indentations are for suckas!

Page 123~

The wide green stare did not waver. Behind those basilisk eyes he thought he could detect a hint of something warmer. Desire? Plain old-fashioned lust? Was this creature really so human?

Oh please dear god don't let him be talking about the "Korean" woman. "Though she was Korean, she seemed oddly human."

~RP

P.S. this book is immaculate. As crisp and new and bright as the day it first hit the shelves. Maybe there's a tiny amount of scuffing, but it's quite negligible. Paperbacks rarely hold up this well.

Paperback 138: One-Way Ticket / Bert and Dolores Hitchens (Perma Books M-3100)

Paperback 138: Perma Book M-3100 (1st ptg, 1957)
Title: One-Way Ticket
Author: Bert and Dolores Hitchens
Cover artist: James Meese



Yours for: $7

Best things about this cover:

• "Railroad detective" - my favorite kind!
• The swirling green vortex of nausea and despair
• The distractingly child-like drawing of the upper half of a candle
• Cool stenciled font on the title
• That furniture - the proportions seem off and there are legs that appear to come from / go to nowhere, but in general, it's cool; spare, stark, mid-century modern in the very best way
• If only she hadn't cut her hair by herself in the dark with a bread knife, she would easily be one of the hottest women in my collection - understated yet stunning black dress (that's a dress, right, not a negligee?), fierce black slip-ons, and a perversely casual way with money. What's not to love?
  

Best things about this back cover:

• I love when back covers function like movie teasers: " ... MURDER! Featuring ... Boots! David Bryant! Some other B movie character actors whose names you don't know. And starring Jerry Mathers, as The Beav"
• Which of these names doesn't belong? A: "David Bryant" - what a dud. That last name really ruins the whole vibe of the back cover. Everyone else gets one colorful name, and he gets the full name of some guy from middle management.
• Wait, Rock dies? Uh, SPOILER ALERT!
• This all makes sense except for Boots. I mean, I could write the plot of this book, but I would have no idea what to do with Boots. David Bryant already has two women. Is Boots a cat?

Page 123~

This was a joke on Boots by Boots. They were all expected to enjoy it. They chuckled in chorus and Vic felt a fool.

I'm guessing it was a familiar feeling.

~RP

Paperback 119: The Erection Set / Mickey Spillane (Signet Y5120)

Paperback 119: Signet Y5120 (1st ptg, 1972)

Title: The Erection Set
Author: Mickey Spillane
Cover artist: Picasso

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• Is that extended leg supposed to simulate an erection or stimulate one? In either case: [shudder]
• If you ever doubted the phallic qualities of a gun, behold this cover. Of course, before this cover, I doubted the phallic qualities of a left leg. This cover's full of learning opportunities.
• Be honest: was there ever a time when that hairdo (bottle blond, unkempt yet sculpted, etc.) was attractive? I was three when this book came out, so I'm not a good judge.
  
• She is aggressively tan
• Remember when women with medium-to-smallish breasts could get shirt-removal work?

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hey, has anyone seen my artificial leg?"
• "Dogeron!!" - setting up the inevitable catchprase: "That doggone Dogeron done gone and done it again!"

Page 123~

My teeth were showing when I said, "You can always change your mind, pal. Like starting right now. I'll take all three of you out and be gone before the noise dies down."

~RP

Paperback 116: The Dain Curse / Dashiell Hammett (Pocket Books 295)

Paperback 116: Pocket Books 295 (1st ptg, 1945)

Title: The Dain Curse
Author: Dashiell Hammett
Cover artist: sadly, uncredited

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "Demons, I cast thee out!"
• Where did her pupils go?
• This is the rare "beheading" cover (I'm kidding - though her head does look like it was photo-shopped, badly, onto her torso)
• I think her head has snapped back in revulsion from her assailant's fetid odor. That may explain the disappearing pupils as well.
• I do like how he knocks her head so hard it goes out of frame.

Best things about this back cover:

• "... and you're cursed with your mother's blood on your hands in babyhood" - aside from being enigmatic and disturbing ... "Babyhood?" Is that a word? Sounds like a good title for a talking babies movie starring at least one of the Wayans Brothers and, oh, let's say Ice Cube. It'll be like "Baby Geniuses," only ... blacker.
• This may be the first book I've posted to feature the wartime exhortation to the reader to mail the book to a serviceman overseas. Very cool historical marking.

Page 123~

It was postmarked San Francisco, nine o'clock Saturday morning. Inside was a soiled and crookedly torn piece of brown wrapping paper, with one sentence - as poorly printed with pencil as the address - on it: "Any body that wants Mrs. Carter can have same by paying $10000-----" There was no date, no salutation, no signature.

~RP

Paperback 89: Bloodline for Murder (Emmett McDowell) / In at the Kill (Emmett McDowell) (Ace Double D-445)

Paperback 89: Ace Double D-445 (PBO, 1960 / PBO, 1960)

Titles: Bloodline to Murder / In at the Kill
Authors: Emmett McDowell / Emmett McDowell [who!?]
Cover artists: uncredited / uncredited :(

Yours for: SOLD 5/22/08


Best thing about this cover:

• I am in love with this woman. Absolutely, stone cold in love. Never mind that I can't see her face - I would run away with this woman. Anyone who can pull off the combination of that dress with those shoes, who has gams like that, wears thigh-highs, and packs heat. Oh ... yeah. I hope she plugs that trench-coated ghoul in the doorway and hits the road with me (note to wife: I'm mostly kidding)
• This book has been man-handled, but the great thing about vintage paperbacks is that manhandling often adds to the coolness of their look. The diagonal creases on this cover somehow work seamlessly into the whole overall design, which is already pretty angular - directing attention to the west and south west of the cover, where the action is.
• "An Axe For The Family Tree" - I have got to start collecting tag lines, writing them down, and ranking them according to all-time greatness. This one is good, not great - to be great, she would have to be hiding an axe in her hosiery.
• I like that she is painted in a completely different, more detailed/naturalistic style than anything else on the cover. Dude in the background looks like he's in an early 80s, Tron-esque video game.

PAGE 123~

Helm put down his bottle of beer. He was no longer smiling and his face was a shade redder.
"Knox, how would you like to get thrown in jail?"
"I hope that's a rhetorical question," said Jonathan.
"Rhetorical, hell! This is murder..."

Best things about this back cover:

• It's a front cover!
• I believe that this woman is a. blind (where is she looking?), b. wearing a wig, c. about to break into song, and d. tied up in the most ornate and inefficient way I've ever seen.
• I love our shooter - paranoid and shooting at imaginary enemies.
• This cover looks like experimental theater. Really, really bad experimental theater. Possibly about lesbians (No? OK, you tell me what that giant pink/lavender "L" is doing there?).
• I Love girly colors on my hard-boiled crime novels. God bless the boldness and unconventionality of mid-century cover art designers.
• Her shoes match the giant "L" and font color
• "Anyone for Murder?" - HA ha. How in the world does tennis terminology relate here? Furthermore, WTF is this?

PAGE 123~

Sorry, this book ends on page 108 (!?!?!). Well ... OK, here's PAGE 23~

"Could I see your credentials?"
"Of course," said Jonathan, and he took out his wallet and showed him a ten dollar bill.

-RP

Paperback 44: Graphic 149

Paperback 44: Graphic 149 (PBO, 1957)

Title: Murder Without Tears
Author: Leonard Lupton
Cover artist: Roy Lance

"Games without frontiers ... murder without tears"

Best things about this cover:

• "I'd love to stay with you longer in this rock quarry, but my ride's here now, so I better go..."
• Purple Sky, Tree of Death! (my suggested alternate title for this book)
• Hey lady, it's a gun, not a pet.

Best things about this back cover:

• Everything
• What the hell does "Need a Body Cry" mean?! I need a grammatical explanation
• "Need a body? Cry: 'Murder Without Tears'!" - does that make sense?
• This lady has forced me to create a new blog tag: "Bad Hair" (see also Paperback 43)
• I love the "Brady Bunch" feel of the back cover - it's like Bobby's trying to shoot Marcia

RP

Paperback 43: Priory 1127

Paperback 43: Priory 1127 (undated)

Title: The Squeeze
Author: Gil Brewer
Cover artist: photo cover

"Let's see ... I feel as if we're one prop short of making this the most cliché hard-boiled cover photo ever. What are we missing? "Sexy" blonde? Check. Cigarette? Check. Alcohol? Check. I'm an aging "tough" guy, so ... Check. Hmmm. What could it be? Oh, right, now I remember. I've got it right here in my pocket..."

Best things about this cover:

• In one of what must have been numerous cost-cutting moves, Priory apparently opted to use still photos from the first few minutes of 70s porn flicks for their covers
• Is she supposed to be hot? She looks disheveled and drug-addled. That wig! (at least I hope that's a wig)
• If a paperback has ever featured a less sexy couple than this, I haven't seen it

Priory books were "Produced in Israel" (!?) for a largely Commonwealth market (back cover features prices for NZ, AUS, UK, S.Afr., Canada, as well as U.S.). They are reprints of Ace Books (of which I have already featured many in my collection) and they appear to have been produced primarily in the early 70's. This book is terribly trashy and dirty and horrible. It reeks of cheap motel - the sticker only adds to the tacky ambiance. I tried to remove it, but that would have resulted in a horrible sticker pull, so I opted to leave it. Gil Brewer is actually a very accomplished crime fiction writer, and it would horribly unfair to judge this book by its cover. And yet I can't help myself.

RP

Paperback 41: Penguin-Signet 670

Paperback 41: Penguin-Signet 670 (1st ptg, 1948)

Title: They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
Author: Horace McCoy
Cover artist: T.V.


"Oh Jim, they were so cruel. They made fun of my severe bangs and lime-green sweater. Hold me, Jim!"

"Yes, that's right, rest your head on my shoulder while I use my salt-and-pepper hair to bathe us both in a magical brown penumbra."

Best things about this cover:

• T.V. is a well-known cover artist. Don't know what the initials stand for. I just like that they are T.V. If only there were an artist with the initials V.C.R. or D.V.D.
• The man is embracing the woman, but even he can't help looking at her haircut with derision. "What was she thinking!?"

Horace McCoy is a fantastic hard-boiled writer. This novel is better known as a 1970s movie starring Jane Fonda. It's actually not about horses, or bad haircuts, at all. It's about marathon dancing during the Depression. And some dude who gets sentenced to the death penalty. How's that for an eloquent summary?

• He looks like the B-est of B-Movie actors
• You should know that his "resumé" here is Very Very typical of paperback writers at the time. I'm not sure we are to take much of it at face value. Seems like every other paperback writer had tough odd-jobs like carny or blackjack dealer or lion tamer or the like.

RP

PS, This book was published during the brief period of time when Penguin was transitioning to Signet / NAL in the U.S. (late 40's) - a handful of books have this hybrid imprint, "Penguin Signet." Shortly after the switch, Signet would make a boatload of money as Mickey Spillane's publisher.