They shut off my bank card. I went for gas and (buzz) card declined. Surely a fluke. I went to Dunkin Donuts and (buzz) card declined. Weird. Checked my balance – all good.
So I called them up and they said they froze my card while they investigated possible fraudulent activity. Well… what gave them that idea? Oh… well… Ms. Casares when we noticed that several internet dating sites were being charged to your account that was a red flag that something was amiss.
After I embarrassingly replied that I had, indeed, signed up for all those internet dating sites, crisis averted and account restored. I’m just glad I didn’t have to cop to porn sites.
Yup – I signed up for every dating service I could find! I have no idea why I thought one wasn’t enough. I guess I thought what if my true love is seeking someone with whom he may “Match” in 22 ways but doesn’t care about the 29 dimensions of compatibility configured by the Eharmony labs? I bought my argument and registered with 4 dating sites. Desperate, you say? Thorough, I say.
Okay… maybe desperate… but it worked! I put my friendly little picture out there – whipped up a charming light-hearted profile with just a hint of intellectualism and I was on my way! My true love would find me… no doubt. Turns out, LOTS of gentlemen found me. I was getting sooo many “winks” and “ice breakers” I literally could not keep up! It was so flattering to know that at least theoretically I was totally hot stuff and very much in demand! 
Although I did have to wonder if several men had read my profile at all. I mentioned how much I LOVE the indoors and anything with air conditioning – how I enjoyed going to Vegas – going to movies – playing Scrabble – how I have no domestic skills whatsoever – how I don’t drink – don’t smoke – politically liberal – how the last book I read was Pebble In The Sky by Isaac Asimov, etc. Something about this combination of attributes & likes & dislikes attracted the outdoorsy types and nascar dads. And one gentlemen sent me an email short & sweet: “I like to fish – do you want to meet?”
“Not interested? Click here to politely let him know.” Click.
I emailed and spoke to several gentlemen – many, even – and went out with a few… most got one date and no more. My friends said I have to give someone a chance. I did… one date – that’s their chance.
One fella I actually liked quite a bit and got every indication that he was very interested in going forward. But upon the easiest of investigations – it was discovered by a friend that this fella was married and that he was a liar liar pants on fire.
A little but not completely disheartened, I sallied forth and met the next Mr. Match. Goofy picture. Could be nice though. He winked - I winked – he emailed and I called him. And we talked for 7 hours in a row from 7pm to 2am. I have no idea what we even talked about now. We met – we clicked – and saw each other every day for a week until it became an issue of neglecting the real world.
It hasn’t been all rosy though. He met my Dad and Stepmommy where he said next to nothing. No doubt causing my father to wonder how in the world I could ever have a 7 hour conversation with this guy. And it’s clear that we are not compatible in the area of domestics for he is a Felix and I am most definitely an Oscar. And on health issues? Wow, are we total opposites. He’s really into total body health and fitness and working out. Freak. Made me self-conscious enough to join a gym and get on the dreadmill. I’ve grown to hate him for it.
But still… I enjoy his company and we have a great time together so I’ve closed my profiles and am currently enjoying the anxiety and ecstasy of a fresh new relationship. I think there’s real promise here and I’m optimistic. Looking forward to the day when I don’t have to wake up ahead of him, put my makeup on and climb back in bed before he wakes up. Being a natural beauty is really hard work and requires total silence and a skilled hand with cover-up, lip gloss and masara.
