Remember earlier this week I wrote about how soul-killing the online job hunt is. I decided today that I needed to show what I can do instead of just talking about it. I hope it doesn’t bother my Twitter followers, but I’m trying to use the tools that I have to move forward.

Why? Because I am an asset to any company that hires me. There, I said it. If I don’t sound the gong, no one else will.

When you apply online, you are basically a number. On Twitter, you can show your personality a little bit more. And when you think about it, you are getting instant recommendations that go to the company.

I applied for a job at the Commercial Appeal. I’ll either get it or I won’t, but at least they know who I am because we (and thank each of you that used the hashtag #MemphisNewscoma) engaged them on Twitter. Even if I don’t get this one, I hope that other companies will see that they need me, just as much as I need them.

And, if you can help a sister out by spreading the word, I will be more than grateful. As incentive, here is a picture of Zombie Raccoons getting on a bus. You are welcome.

You can reach me at tracesharp at gmail dot com.

The Resume:

Objective

I have worked in news media including radio broadcasting, news print and new media with 25 years experience. I have also worked with abused women and in several areas of economic development. I wish to work in an organization that focuses on progressive ideas and advocacy.

Experience

Mike McWherter for Governor

August 2009 – present

Advisor

• Content strategy strategy for state-wide political campaign for candidate Mike McWherter in part-time capacity

Weakley County Press, Martin, TN

January 2004 – May 2010

Managing Editor

• Managed 23 employees in all aspects of a bi-weekly newspaper
• Conceptualized art design for front page, web-management, graphics and special sections
• Journalist on breaking news, features and special sections
• Coordinated community involvement from the newspaper with the University of Tennessee at Martin, Historic Business District (including Mainstreet grants), Martin Business Association, Weakley County Chamber of Commerce and Leadership Weakley County
• Sold advertising when it was required.
• Won five Tennessee Press Association awards for Editorials during my tenure.
• Writing headlines, cutlines, refers, teases, news stories, feature stories, and book reviews. Editing copy based on AP style and in-house style guides. Fact checking stories and editing them for length, balance, clarity, and fairness.
• Comfortable with Mac and PC environments, Microsoft Office suite, Adobe CS4 (Photoshop, InDesign), Blogger, WordPress, Movable Type and Typepad

Northwest Tennessee Economic Development Council, Weakley County, TN

October 1997 – January 2004

Program Coordinator, Victims Assistance Program

• Responsibilities included annual grant writing, volunteer coordination, fundraising and participation to maintain grant status, court appearances with victims of emotional, physical and sexual abuse
• Did countless appearances from Portland OR, San Diego, Atlanta and Las Vegas on assisting advocates on setting up local support groups with an emphasis on Tennessee’s rural communities as well.
• Facilitated peer support groups for out-of-shelter victims

Our Town magazine, Weakley County, TN

May 1994 – October 1997

• Family-owned and operated monthly pop culture magazine on life in rural northwest Tennessee
• Mom and Pop operation of two employees with a slant toward progressive lifestyles

Thunderbolt Broadcasting, Martin, TN

May 1991 – May 1994

News Director

• Five deadlines a day on radio station WCMT giving news reports live, writing and editing copy, working with local, state and federal politicians, city and court reporting and feature stories
• Host of weekly Public Service show called 30 Minutes, interviewing state and local community organizers and politicians
• Worked with Associated Press (AP) on breaking news from northwest Tennessee
• Won 13 Tennessee Press Broadcast Association awards for features, breaking news, online delivery and clean audio production

YWCA Domestic Violence Program and Battered Women’s Shelter, Nashville, TN

December 1987 – December 1990

Team Counselor

• Worked in-house with battered women in a confidential location
• Responsibilities included working with the Metro Nashville Police Department at night ensuring that women would have a place to stay after a violent episode in their homes.
• Escorted women to court visits and assisted in finding women shelter and employment while they were staying in the shelter
• Facilitated peer support groups for out-of-house battered women

Stargem Records, Nashville, TN

August 1985 – December 1987

• Worked closely with musicians in a recording studio including Randy Travis, Roseanne Cash, Emmylou Harris, George Jones and others serving as a studio assistant and in promotions

Interests

• Social online media – I have maintained several Tennessee websites and blogs over the past five years including two popular weblogs including Newscoma. com and Speak to Power.org.  I have worked with WKRN’s now defunct Nashville is Talking as a weekend guest host, Newstechzilla.com as a founding member, PopFi.com as well as starting nwtntoday.com. I have been interviewed in Los Angeles, Nashville and Knoxville for living in a rural community while using online tools of communication and have been linked quite frequently at mainstream media sites across the state as well as Huffington Post, CNN, Eschaton, the Knoxville News Sentinel, Post Politics and Feministe. Frequent speaker regarding new media, digital and content strategy and online political outreach especially to non-profit organizations

I’ve struggled the past couple of hours, weeks really, about politics, the economy and the issue of where we are heading. Everyone says politics are local, and I used to buy that. I don’t really anymore. I feel like politics comes from the mainstream media and locals reinterpret that into their communities these days. If Fox News says something, then it’s true, isn’t it? (Pretend you hear my sarcastic tone.)

I met a member of the tea party this weekend. They were telling me a bunch of things, many that I knew just wasn’t true. When I mentioned the facts … I said, “The facts don’t support that in the least.”

The person I was talking to said simply, “These are my facts.”

Nuff said.

You can’t argue with a rabid raccoon. They tend to just bite you before they head into the road in front of a semi.

With that said, I can only write what I know. Rural Tennesseans have been stereotyped and I fear that it has come from Washington’s view of us. Maybe Nashville should pay attention to what we are saying instead of what our nation’s capital tells us what we are saying. Perceptions also do not mean they are weighed in facts. Of course, we do ourselves no favors with incidents such as Ron Ramsey saying the Muslim faith is a cult or, at times, democrats completely forgetting they are democrats and wondering why democrats are upset.(Yeah, my head is spinning too.)

I’ve been fortunate the last few days to join folks in Hoots that are like me politically and mad as y’all who don’t want to take it anymore, to quote Southern Beale.

This is just a conversation about how stereotypes do exist, but that doesn’t mean those stereotypes are the facts.

So I’ve sat with people like myself and it’s nice to not feel so alone in my political and social beliefs. Maybe an army of one becomes two, then three and so on when you find the right people.

And I move back to the things we are talking about and if you are in politics, I hope you will listen to our voices.

1. The economy here is despondent. We are scared. We are leaving to find jobs. Once thriving businesses have become a ghost town of a former bustling economy.
2. It is not unusual, these days, to see extended families living under one roof.
3. Many people don’t care about politics because they are doing other things, like trying to find reasonable employment that pays the bills.
4. We get that we are fixin’ to get gerrymandered to the extreme. We also are not engaged because we haven’t really been involved in the conversation. We’ve tried, mind you, but it usually has us having to outshout other folks. We aren’t big shouters here after awhile when it hangs in the wind.
5. We have made mistakes.
6. So have other places in this country.
7. You get my point.

These things are drifting in my mind lately. I’m not saying we are perfect, but I’m also saying that media recently has set a tone that disturbs me. We aren’t a fiction story conjured up by people who’ve never seen or talked to us, just folks who’ve been watching the election this year who feel geographically challenged, who are tired of people talking for us who don’t know us from Adam.

I got nothing. This is it.

I was talking to Squirrel Queen and a friend of mine in Memphis recently about applying for jobs online. You see, when folks meet up face-to-face, there is a connection either positive or negative. Twitter and Facebook, even blogs, are wonderful ways to actually MEET people, but dealing with HR roboforms is another beast all together.

As I write this, I’m sitting in a small restaurant in Hoots City. The only people here are the owner, myself and another customer. It’s quiet. The owner says he’s made 22 bucks today.

“Business is down,” he said, sadly staring at a golf game on one of two televisions. “Just been a terrible summer.”

“It will get better,” the other customer said, trying to be encouraging. “It always does.”

The owner just smiled. He is one of those men that’s smile is heart wrenchingly beautiful. He is one of those people that you want to see light up. You just want to look at him smile all day long, but you could tell, this one was filled with a tired resignation. It’s as if his face said “this economy is killing me one day at a time.”

I think that’s something we can all agree on. And I feel like there is connection, because the only conversation I’ve heard in the last hour is how there just aren’t any jobs around here.

And there aren’t.

The online resume wheelbarrow game is also daunting. I am a huge advocate of social media and the online world, but when it comes to job hunting, it’s the pits. Don’t doubt it for a minute. Trust us on this one.

Next time I hear someone say, “Well, people just need to get a job” I may throw something. It’s not always like going down to, let’s say, Bob at the local Hardware store and asking if there is any openings. I even noticed that at McDonalds recently that people applying had to go to a terminal, bypassing even the manager.

It’s impersonal these days. And it is soul-killing. It’s hard to be confident with something you cannot touch or see that has no idea what you are. It’s a numbers game.

I don’t know what the end result will be, but please understand, it’s not as easy as you would think it would be. It really is sort of heartbreaking.

I am seeing my friends head into the publishing world right now and it’s pretty awe-inspiring. Betsy Phillips book “A City of Ghosts” is making a lot of noise right now and Christian Grantham is releasing his book,George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation , on November 1.

It’s good to see bloggers breaking through walls by sheer determination. I find it to be very inspiring.

There are things, including our creativity, that are worth fighting for. It’s good to see both of them coming out swinging for things they believe in and it’s a lesson to all bloggers, including myself, on the simple message of not to give up.

I was talking to my friend Faint Gray Lines earlier this week about my plans mid-November. I’m a bit confused and more than wary of what I should be doing and how I’m going about getting to a place I don’t even know exists at this moment.

The birthday was exception, as it always is, as I saw friends and family I haven’t seen in a while and watched my beautiful niece walk across a football field in Hoots as a Homecoming maid. She was smiling in a way that was so exquisite that I found myself choked up. They get older, I get older and I realize that they don’t need me and most likely never did. She is going through what most sixth graders go through. New feelings combined with one foot stuck in childhood but with the other one marching on toward the teen years.

I talked to my father about getting together at least once a week for lunch. It would be good for both of us, because I’ve oddly felt disconnected over the past few months.  We talked a bit about politics and how my former boss from nearly two decades ago has a son that was wounded in Iraq. He is undergoing surgeries that he needs to repair his damaged arm. I can’t even imagine the pain and fear that the family is going through, and the relief as well that he is alive.

Birthdays are funny things. They are a turning point. where we are reminded of where we have been and how we can be a bit better in the journey ahead of us. But there is also a bit of bittersweetness that is attached as well.

While talking with FGL, I found myself saying, and I’ve said it a lot recently, “Does that make sense?” I didn’t realize I was doing this until that phone call. I don’t think I was asking her that question as much as I was asking myself. She was kind to listen to my scattered brain. The day after I spoke to her, I found myself quite emotional, my last day of being 44 years old.  Stunted and tired, seeing patterns that I was uncomfortable in, but had embraced anyway. I had a power cry that came from having allergies that had me feeling horrible and of this ongoing feeling of unrest. The next day I decided to pick myself up by my bootstraps, as the saying goes, I went to a local coffee shop and saw people that I dearly like whose familiarity was comforting to me, and then spent the afternoon visiting places I like with Squirrel Queen, who was calm and comforting before we headed to the football field.

I am rambling today, just trying to get back into the habit of blogging. There is no rhyme of reason to this post, just some old school stuff of keeping my fingers to the keyboard. I have been a sentimental old fool this week.

One quick thing before I stop this silly post. Everyone was very kind yesterday. Thank you for all the birthday wishes, the nice thoughts, coming to see me and being my friend. It means more than you will every know.

Alright kids, it’s my birthday. I have been on this revolving rock 45 times.

Today I am asking for a birthday present. The family and friends of the late Henry Granju, whose birthday is also today, are holding Acts of Kindness for Henry.  The rules are simple.

Do something nice today.Be kind. Be fabulous.

It’s a good reminder everyday, but Acts of Kindness for Henry wants to know what you did so let them know.

So what are you going to do or what have you done?

More people in this country die of poverty than those who die from terrorist acts.

Where’s the outrage?

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,

dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix;

Angel-headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection

to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.

Howl-Allen Ginsburg

When Tyler Clementi threw himself off the George Washington bridge last week, news organizations started to pay attention to the plight that our words and actions impact young people. In the beginning, I felt like they tried to blame new technology as Tyler was videotaped having sex and it was put on the Internet. That was heinous, there isn’t any doubt about that, but the real story eventually came out.

What has been told to these young gay people is a drum rhythm of that things will never get better. Sarah Silverman said it best.

You can’t serve your country. You are less than was screamed to the point where it finally became more effective as a whisper campaign blanketing our nation that it had become mainstream and accepted. Anderson Cooper joined countless celebrities last night talking of how bullying led to this young man, as well as countless others’ deaths. And it does exist in those schools we drive by daily. It happens in places that are supposed to be safe. For everybody.

One night? One weekend? It’s not enough.

Bullying is what our nation does these days. Urban vs. Rural. Straight Vs. Gay. Men Vs. Women. Brown Vs. White. Muslim Vs. Christian. These are things that we have been whispered to and it hangs steady in the breeze,  it has become a larger monster than we could ever know how to vanquish. What kills this classism that exists? I don’t know.

We are told that we will lose things precious to us? What the hell are we going to lose other than kindness and compassion?

Words matter.Actions matter.

When a battered woman is told “she asked for it” just because she couldn’t get out, it matters. It’s more complex than that standard line, which I’ve heard thousands of times.

When thousands of transgendered women are denied healthcare, it matters.

When a child is raped, it matters.

When a house burns down while fireman just stand and watch, it matters.

Who made up these rules that we have to put down others to make ourselves in a higher elevation?

I sit here today wondering what we have become. The Golden Rule applies for everyone.

And Neil Gaimon always makes life better.

I will be 45 on Thursday. I have always celebrated a birthday week and this year really isn’t the exception other than, I must admit, that I’m a little wigged out about being five years out of 50. Just typing that makes me want to vomit a little bit.

When other people tell you that “IT COULD BE WORSE! HA, HA … YOU COULD BE DEAD!!!” I want to throw a goat at them. Yeah, I know I could be dead, dickweed, but I’m also getting older, my body is changing and the last year has not been a walk in the sun.

Ahem, I digress.

But then I think about things and realize that being crabby is just a reaction to the rational realization that I’m not getting any younger and I’ve been ready to get on with things for awhile.

So, here is a list of 45 things in honor of 45 years. There is no rhyme or reason to any of this, I assure you:

1. I got to see Stevie Ray Vaughn right before he died in a concert in Montreal that also included on the marquee The Police, Peter Tosh and The Talking Heads.
2. I got to visit Portland, OR and would move there if I had a job waiting on me. Without hesitation.
3. I have known love.
4. I have learned that it’s easier now not to let people take free room and board in my head, although it still happens sometimes.
5. I have seen kindness and learn to recognize it after seeing acts of unkindness. Only when I saw both sides did I realize that you have to look for the good and when you do, it is pretty incredible.
6. I have learned that crying isn’t a sign of weakness.
7. I understand now the saying that “Time Flies” because it absolutely does to the point that I’m starting to feel the wind in my hair things are moving so quickly.
8. I have learned that I cannot go into that good night gently, nor would I want to.
9. Even in this journey around the sun for the 45th time, I have realized that I am absolutely still not very good with silence from others although I sometimes must immerse myself in a world with little noise. It’s a conundrum.
10. I still have commitment issues with just about everything.
11. Laughing is EVERYTHING it’s cracked up to be.
12. I sometimes, however, lose my sense of humor. I usually find it behind the couch or caught up in the cushions.
13. I still miss my grandparents although they died 30 years ago.
14. I still love horror novels and movies.
15. I have learned that I’m not very comfortable with freelancing. Just not cut out for it.
16. I still get frightened by the unknown.
17. I used to know what my dream job was. I don’t know what that is now.
18. I still love Bigfoot, UFOs and Beer.
19. I think we have hit a time on this third rock from the sun that people are in love with being outraged.
20. I still think catfish are one ugly damned species of fish.
21. Sometimes I need to balance my life out by watching a romantic comedy followed by The Exorcist
22. I wish I’d gone into the Peace Corps.
23. I do miss getting dressed up in the mornings in adult clothes.
24. Hats give anyone who wears one character.
25. Sometimes I still feel like I am a 13-year-old and laugh at poop/penis/vagina jokes.
26. I do judge people who have no sense of humor.
27. Bass Beer is still my favorite beer.
28. Mabel still cuddles with me and it’s a daily chunk of awesome.
29. I hate missed opportunities and now that I’m getting older, recognizing what I missed either pisses me off or throws me into a funk.
30. I really should have taken up eating Cajun food much earlier than I did.
31. Your body really does change and shift about once every five years. My mother was absolutely right on this one.
32. I have learned that in the long run, there aren’t really any winners in politics. It’s just a series of ongoing battles.
33. Cave crickets are the scariest thing on the planet when you are staring one down.
34. I still like to be pleasantly surprised.
35. Change is going to happen whether you fight against it or not.
36. I had a drink with Cheech Marin once when I was 17. I remember and I’m sure he doesn’t.
37. No matter how old you get, your feelings are occasionally going to get hurt. It’s true.
38. I feel like there are times when the best thing to do is just get in the car and drive with no destination planned.
39. I love to hear old people cuss.
40. My most hated thing is to hear a person tell another person that they are stupid.
41. I have learned the difference between loneliness and being alone.
42. Shark Week still makes me giggle.
43. I feel like I’ve aged five years this past summer.
44. I still chew my fingernails. I have this down to a science.
45. This still makes me howl.

I’m sure I’ll be chewing on this birthday all week.

I’m sitting on the small patio on a farm in Obion County that is surrounded by Milo. Milo, if you are familiar with it, is not a particularly attractive plant and looks like brown toilet scrub brushes set on top of it about a month before the fall harvest. When it’s coming in, it has the appearance of miniature corn but the difference is that corn has a lush, exotically green look, a handsome crop for lack of a better term, than the Milo which is the Quasimodo of crops. It may have a big heart but it still is kinda scary looking..

As Halloween is on the horizon, my mind has conjured up countless ghosts and demons that could be hiding in this unusual looking crop. I realize that Milo makes all sorts of things like sorghum but it still is ominous and angry looking.

Heck, not all of us can have the languid and exotic sensuality of Susan Sarandon and I guess that goes for plants too.

At night, I hear the coyotes howl and, frankly, I don’t like it. I don’t like taking Mabel out knowing that I hear them in the distance. Mabel is a scrappy dog but she is no match for a big dog/bear/wolf sort of beast. And there is the fact that most coyotes look very pissed off all the time. I guess I would be pissed off too if I was given a life where my mission was just to avoid humanity and not get killed.

I miss living in the city where I could hear the sirens in the background and cars barreling down the expressway. Although I am a great advocate and lover of all of the Hoots in this state wherever they may be, I still miss having the options and the Milo staring at me with wicked abandon isn’t helping my need for streets, import beer and mimosas that are on every corner and not a luxury.

I dreamed last week that coyotes were in the house and people were yelling at me to run or to shoot them. I have only shot a gun once in my life and felt ill-equipped to shoot anything, especially a raging, irritated coyote. People were screaming at me to “IF YOU CAN’T KILL ONE, JUST HEAD THEM BACK INTO THE MILO!”

How’s that for weird, but the Milo has dominated my dreams and I think it’s because if I’m heading them back into the Milo, they were there all along, right?

So what else is in there?

I dreamed Saturday night I was floating on a small, sinking boat in the Mississippi toward acres and acres of Milo. I could see Memphis’ skyline in the distance and was desperate to get to the city but the current kept moving me toward the crops.

I really need a routine these days, instead of my own, where I become oddly freaked out by a damn crop.

No seriously.