I won't be worrying my pretty little head about that.

I'm probably late for the party, due to being insufferably fashionable, but I was browsing the nets the other day and came across this quote by the rather wise Pat Robertson.

"Feminism is a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians"

And it got me thinking. I tried to stop as I wished to avoid the unbecoming wrinkles that were undoubtedly forming on my brow, but I couldn't help it. It sounded so enticing. I imagined myself in a coven, engaging in voluptuous acts with the ladies and drinking the blood of newborns. I am ashamed to say, I was tempted.

I luxuriously stretched out my long slim legs, utterly lost in fantasy, then it struck me. My perfectly smooth, hairless legs would be an affront to this society. I began to think I wouldn't belong in such a place. I would have to let the hair grow out dark and spiky, become surly and hateful, and be ugly.

And I realised how absurd my little dream had been. I was not ugly, and thus not one of them. For why would a pretty, feminine lady like myself have any use for such a radical concept? I put it out of my head and went back to dusting.

These so called "women" are bitter. They have been shunned by men all their lives, quite rightfully due to the unfortunate arrangements of their features, and rather unfairly take it out on men. They form unattractive, unsuitable for men's arousal, partnerships with women. They need to go out in the world and fend for themselves, making them hard and unfeminine. They resent all men and do everything they can to bring them down.

But I can get a man. A man who will take care of me, provide for me and give me the status of being Mrs, so long as I cook, keep the house respectable, orally pleasure him, and give him sons in the near future. I can even have a little job, as long as it doesn't take me away from my home duties or emasculate him by being more important or well paying than his.

He will protect me from being raped or beaten, by anybody else. So long as I'm faithful, obedient and agreeable, and am a comfort for him after a hard day at work.

I can be assured that he will always be there for me. Of course I must take care of myself, keep my figure, my skin and hair looking nice. If I age gracefully, he will just keep his younger woman on the side. I will keep my man forever,

So those "women's libbers" can keep their "rights" and their "education" and their "careers" and their "independence" and their "property" and their "equality" and their "interests" and their "self respect" and their "decisions" and their "opportunities" and their "lives". Who needs it.