You often hear you shouldn’t use parentheticals for things other than acting directions (“surprised”, “relieved”, etc… And even use those sparingly).

What’s the accepted tolerance for parentheticals for actions such as:

or

Is this a big no-no? A small no-no? Can you get away with it once or twice in a script, if you want to shave off a few lines from a page? Or does it reek of the amateur screenwriter?

– Liam
Paris

I’ve used parentheticals in situations similar to both your examples, though I’m more likely to break those lines out as scene description:

But as I’ve written about before, there are other situations in which parentheticals make sense, and using them smartly can both trim pages and improve the read. It’s all to your taste and style.

You’ll find A-list screenwriters who write five-line parentheticals and others who eschew them altogether. (Anything you do in a parenthetical could theoretically be accomplished in scene description.)

Read a lot of screenplays and find a style you like. For example, you may find yourself emulating writers who use parentheticals for as-if situations…

…or to establish the pacing on a joke. Try it and see what works.

Like CUT TO:’s and sluglines, the use of parentheticals comes down to personal preference. As long as you are consistent and engaging, readers are unlikely to object.

I’ll be part of three panels at this year’s Austin Film Festival, including a special session on Big Fish.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21st

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22nd

If you’re planning on attending the Big Fish session, you’ll get a lot more out of it if you’ve already read both Daniel Wallace’s novel (you can find in on Amazon) and the screenplay (from the Library). I feel weird assigning homework, but trust me, you’ll have much better insight if you’re familiar with the book, script and movie.

I won’t have much time to meet-and-greet after these sessions — on Friday, I’ll be racing to the airport for a friend’s wedding. So if you’d like to say hi, your best bet is to track me down at one of the social events:

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20th

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21st

Some of these are 21+, and the first one requires tickets beyond just a conference badge. If you’re a student, I know that can be a challenge. I’ll try to tweet my location if I have some downtime.

And if you see me at the Driskill — or in line at the burrito place — don’t be shy about saying hi.

Meetings get pushed all the time. General meetings aside, how many pushes merits cause for concern regarding interest in you/your idea?

– Matt

Things in Hollywood are never rescheduled. They’re “pushed.”¹

Anything with a date attached can get pushed. That includes meetings. Yesterday, I finally sat down for a meet-and-greet lunch that had been pushed six times. That’s not a record for me, but it’s close. The lunch wasn’t a particular priority for either the executive or me, which is why both of us felt okay letting it slide.

Meetings get pushed for many reasons, most of them benign. Executives get sick. Unrelated projects go into crisis mode. Particularly with a general meeting, you just have to roll with it.

If your meeting on a specific project keeps gets pushed back, that can signal waning interest. The second time it’s pushed, you should expect an apologetic phone call from the second-highest person who was supposed to be in the room. If that phone call doesn’t come, you can commence worrying.

If you have an agent or manager, it’s her job to investigate. Otherwise, sack up and call. Invent a reason why it’s very important that the new date stick.

Meetings sometimes get cancelled without setting a new date. For me, that starts a 24-hour clock. If a full day has passed and there’s not a new date on the calendar, I will assume the worst.

1. Pushed is always “pushed back.” The reciprocal idea of “pulling up” is less common, but you do hear it in terms of release dates. ↩

In my post on What belongs on a title page, I wrote:

I’ll always harbor doubts about anyone with a Hotmail, AOL or RoadRunner address. If you have an embarrassing email address, get something staid and boring at Gmail.

Several readers disagreed with me in the comments. Kevin, for one:

Talk about splitting hairs. Let’s not get all assuming or snobby about Hotmail/AOL/Roadrunner accounts; something as minor as a free email address preference should not cause you to “harbor any doubts.”

RML2010 felt the same way:

Please, get a grip and don’t allow “it’s Hollywood” to make you choose a gmail script over a hotmail script. At LEAST flip a coin.

It’s time to have a little talk about perception, and why it matters. Some of this is specific to screenwriting, but a lot of it applies to anyone.

Consider your inbox. You have seven new emails from strangers, with the following email addresses:¹

1. smurf667@aol.com
2. bill@billwaldon.com
3. rem54mdds@sbcglobal.net
4. tommfs1982@hotmail.com
5. christina.alvarez@gmail.com
6. verdun.singh@stanford.edu
7. tammy@reallybigknockers.net

Which of these people do you expect has a website? Which do you suspect clicks a lot of animated banner ads? Which ones do you anticipate having the most succinct, well-written message?

Call it stereotyping. Call it filtering. But based on these seven email addresses, I know:

• Bill, Verdun and Christina’s names.
• tommfs1982 is probably 28 years old.
• rem54mdds is (in my opinion) a sucker for using SBC’s email, because it makes him less likely to switch to another provider.
• The AOL user either likes the Smurfs or has a name like Samantha Murphy.
• Verdun Singh goes to Stanford, or works there in some capacity.
• tammy and I seem to have little in common. (And it might be spam.)

Regardless of someone’s email address, you are likely to open and read most of these emails. It’s a pretty low commitment.

But consider a screenplay. Reading a script is a sizable investment of time and energy. From the cover page, all you have to go on is the title, the writer’s name, and possibly an email address.

Based on just their email addresses, I start with mildly positive impressions for Bill, Christina and Verdun. I start with mildly negative impressions for the other four. All that may change once I start reading — but only if I start reading.

Considering it takes five minutes to set up a free email address at a place like Gmail, why wouldn’t you give yourself a better chance at a good read?

1. I’m making these up. Apologies if I accidentally used someone’s real address. ↩

Jordan Mechner has posted the original screenplay for Prince of Persia, which better reflects the movie he and I hoped to make back when we set up the project in 2004.

I didn’t do any real writing on PoP — my hands never touched the keyboard — but I worked with Jordan extensively on the pitch, outline and first few drafts of the project. My involvement essentially ceased after this 2005 draft, when I turned my attention to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Nines. Jordan and I also cowrote Ops, a pilot for Fox which you can read in the Library.

You’ll notice many story and structural changes between this draft and the finished film. One of the biggest is in the opening: the movie adds backstory setting up Dastan as a fair-minded orphan adopted by the king. I prefer the original, which let him be the reckless gambler with no real responsibility, since he was third in line to the throne.

It’s the difference between Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, and sets a very different tone for the story.

You can check out the script and discussion on Jordan’s blog.

Having an “Oblivio Accebit” spiral poster would mean countless things to me. How can I obtain one, boss? I’ll do anything.

– @josephsaid

We only printed one. It’s either discarded or in a storage locker somewhere.

But if you’d like to print your own, here’s a link to the original Photoshop file. Warning: It’s big (6.9MB).