And She Doesn't Look a Day Over Absolutely Gorgeous

Please join me in wishing a happy birthday to the one, the only, The Bride. I'm lucky enough to have spent twelve birthdays in a row with my beautiful, sassy wife. We've actually known each other since her 15th birthday, as impossible as that sounds. (We were pen pals! Nothing Jerry Lee Lewis about our relationship, I swear.) Of course, regarding her beauty, you only have my word; she's notoriously camera shy, especially on this here blog. So instead, I put up the hottest pulp paperback redhead I could find, but you should know that even the smoking-est, sultri-est Gold Medal vixen doesn't hold a candle to the Bride. (With or without a gun.) Sometimes, nerds do luck out in the love department.

An Army of Redheads

Just a quick note of thanks to everyone who's emailed, requesting a copy of "Redhead." I'm astounded at the number of people who have killed brain cells reading The Blonde, and are actually hungry for more abuse. God bless you all.

The offer's still good, mind you. Like, pretty much forever. So drop me a line if you'd like a copy.

Today, incidentally, is the on-sale date for The Crimes of Dr. Watson. If you're at all in the mood for an incredibly cool-looking book, you might give it a whirl. Or buy a copy for the Sherlockian in your life!

The Roots of Redhead

Okay, I finished a first draft this past weekend, so I can talk about the novella without fearing of being a "cuntjobby."

The novella is called Redhead, which is a sequel to my novel, The Blonde. I pitched it to St. Martin's back in December saying (more or less), "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if I included a bonus story in the paperback edition of The Blonde?" (New cover pictured.) Happily, St. Martin's dug the idea. I love it when paperbacks include a bonus story. The best example I can think of is Jack Ketchum, whose Leisure Books editions of his novels (Red, Off Season, among others) often include extra stories or bonus material. Comics are doing it, too. Ed Brubaker's Criminal--a brilliant, tough hardboiled series about a heist gone way, way wrong--includes DVD extra-style essays and notes about film noir and crime fiction. Some editions of certain Marvel comics (Wolverine: Origins, The Immortal Iron Fist) are even labelled "director's cuts," which means they include extra art, sample script pages and notes in the back of the book.

Again, this is awesome. I love the extra stuff.

I would actually buy a book of nothing but "extra stuff."

I had an idea for a Blonde sequel the moment I finished it. There was an idea I wanted to work into the story, but the opportunity never presented itself. So I filed it away, thinking that if I ever tackled a sequel, it'd be there for me. The idea, however, wasn't quite enough for a full-length novel. What I needed was something that was the size of a long short story. Or, a novella.

What is a novella? Beats me. Stephen King once said that any story more than 7,500 words was edging into the strange terrain known as "the novella"; make it past 50,000 words or so, you know you're hitting novel country.

That's a wide, wide range, partner.

Not too long ago I read an ultra-hardboiled novella called Fuckin' Lie Down Already by Tom Piccirilli, who's probably best known for his work in the horror genre. It was an absolutely stunning revenge story. The best I've read in years. It knew exactly where to reach in and twist. Hard.

And it was probably no longer than 15,000 words.

Could Piccirilli have paddded it out to 50,000? Sure. But it wouldn't have had the same muscle. There are some stories that demand to be novellas. Tell it too quick, it doesn't work. Pad it out, it's overstayed its welcome.

Redhead, I think, is one of those stories that belongs in the strange terrain of the novella.

I've literally just typed the last line a few hours ago, so it's hard for me to be objective about it. But I think if I'd tried to make Redhead a novel, it would have fallen on its face. What I had in mind was a couple of short jabs to the brain, not a 60,000-word torture session. (Redhead ended up being a little more than 12,000 words.)

We'll see what you think come November, when the trade paperback edition of The Blonde is published. (If you've already bought the hardcover edition, don't worry. I'm going to make Redhead available as a free .pdf download, too.)

Worse case scenario: it sucks. But hell, it's a bonus story. What do you have to complain about?