I'd Buy that For a Dollar

Bride, in case you're reading this, I can't tell you how much I'd like one of these for Christmas, our anniversary, and/or Estuary Day.

Thank you for your cooperation. Good night.

(And thanks to CP's own Marc Steel for pointing this out.)

"Sidewalk Tiger" Concludes, Plus...

Here, finally, is "Let Us Prey," the third installment of my short noir story, "Sidewalk Tiger." (You can find part 1 here, and part 2 here.) Hope it was worth the wait. I'd love to hear what you think, if you're so inclined.

But while you're over at the CityPaper.net site, be sure to check out this week's cover story, "85 Shots," by staff writers Doron Taussig and Tom Namako. Granted, I'm biased, but I think this is one of the best crime stories we've ever run. The boys hit this one right out of the park. And it's nice to have a cover like this in a week when Kate Couric and CBS News was all up in our jock, calling us a "City Under Siege." (You know what? Maybe they're right.) If you're a crime fiction fan, this story is required reading.

First, the Bad News

Severance Package is being delayed.

Until late spring/early summer 2008.

Yeah, I know. I'm bummed, too.

If you were able to snap up an ARC of the would-be hardcover at BookExpo, you're one of the lucky few--those suckers are about to become as rare as hen's teeth. If you were one of those who received the cool 50-page "pink slip" excerpt, and were eagerly awaiting more... all I can say is, mea culpa, man.

Why oh why, you ask? Well, there's one simple reason: St. Martin's is retooling it as a trade paperback original. And that means launching it from scratch, starting this August. (The production/publicity machine takes a while to reboot.) I truly believe this is a smart move in the long run, otherwise I would have slit my wrists by now. Truth is, I've long thought my stuff is better suited for paperback. Far more readers are willing to take a $12 chance on something that looks potentitally cool than spend $25 on something that very well may be a dud. I should know--I'm one of those readers. (Yeah, I buy hardcovers. But only when I absolutely have to.)

So yeah, you have to wait until May or June of next year to read Severance Package.

However, this November brings The Crimes of Dr. Watson, my first interactive mystery for Quirk Books. (I say first because I'm in talks now to do another one, which would be released next July.)

And this November also brings the trade paperback of The Blonde, which will include a bonus novella sequel, "Redhead."

And if all goes well, my next novel will be released in October or November 2008, just six short months after Severance Package.

Finally, I've also been working on a few projects I can't talk about now, but will see the light of day in 2008. It's killing me not to be able to tell you, but I've been sworn to secrecy.

In short: you've going to have Swierczy out the ass in 2008.

See? Not so bad.

(If anyone needs me, I'll be out in the garage.)

Samuel L. Jackson IS The Blonde

Marshal Zeringue, the hardest workin' man in blogland, recently asked me to cast The Blonde, over at My Book, The Movie. While I never write characters based on specific actors, some immediately jumped to mind, as you'll see if you click here.

"I Stopped Reading After Page Three When My Balls Exploded."

Over at pointlesswasteoftime.com there's a collection of fake book covers (like the one above) you can slap over the final Harry Potter novel, just in case you're embarassed to read it in front of your tough guy friends. The covers are very funny. But the fake blurbs are even better. God, would I kill for a blurb like "Will completely blow your shit off."

Oh, and take note of the third cover down: McDead. Somebody should tell these guys that Ken Bruen already wrote that.

(Props to Drew Lazor for sending this my way.)

"Sidewalk Tiger: Stalking the Game"

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. We've been on vacation for the past week at an undisclosed location somewhere in the so-called "Delmarva" area. Fun was had. Skin was burned. Quarters were lost. (Tip to parents everywhere: If your kids win a game on a pier amusement center and one of the prizes is a plastic trumpet, do not allow your kids to choose the trumpet. Trust me on this.)

Anyway, "Stalking the Game," which is part two of my noir short story, "Sidewalk Tiger," appeared yesterday in the City Paper. You'll find it right here. (And Part 1 is here.) Look for the final chapter, "Let Us Prey," next Thursday.

New Fiction: "Sidewalk Tiger"

I swear, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon. I'd planned to do this before I saw Robert Ferrigno's serial fiction in the Seattle Times this week, or read about Gary Phillips's "The Underbelly," which just kicked off at FourStory.org.

But in tomorrow's City Paper, in place of my usual editor's letter, is the first installment of a short noir story called "Sidewalk Tiger." (Part 2, "Stalking the Game," will follow next Thursday, and the final installment a week after that.)

When I say short, I do mean short: the entire story is only 2,100 words. That's because my editor's letter slot only has room for 720 words (if I'm lucky), so I knew whatever I wrote had to work in bite-size installments. Does it? You tell me.

(Hat tip to The Rap Sheet for the Ferringo/Phillips skinny.)

What, Couldn't Billy Corgan Say No to Anyone During the Open Auditions?

Or no to the blotter sheets?

(Via Warren Ellis.)

Criminal Minds

If you're still kicking yourself because you missed the single issues of the first arc of Ed Brubaker's Criminal ("Coward"), quit your whining and get to your nearest comic shop. The second story arc is currently underway, and "Lawless, Part Two" (issue #7) is in stores now.

Why, you ask, should you pick up single issues when you know there will be a trade collection at some point? Because the single issues feature cool-as-shit DVD-style extras. (This month, it's an essay on Robert Altman's The Long Goodbye by Steven Grant.) And in this issue, Brubaker does me the solid of mentioning The Wheelman, The Blonde and This Here's A Stick-Up in his back-of-the-book letter. So do him a solid and pick up multiple issues. Your friends will only try to permanently "borrow" them anyway.

Holy Crap. I've Been a Professional Journalist for 16 Years

See that short little front-of-the-book item above? That was my first professional (read: paid for it) clip, ever, published in Philadelphia Magazine in July 1991. Or, if you prefer, the year Dave White was born. (Go ahead and click on it to read it.)

"Philly to Jersey: Send Us a Bill" appeared in Quick Hits, which was the upfront section of the magazine. The section was edited by Theresa Conroy, now a kick-ass reporter at the Philadelphia Daily News. But I remember the original idea came from assistant editor Lou Harry, who saw a bit of humor in an otherwise boring press release and tossed it to a 19-year-old intern, looking to make his bones. (Um, me.)

I won't lie to you; I'm pretty sure I was heavily edited. The kicker ("Suckers") sounds like Lou or Theresa; I think the "... kind of, well, lost theirs" was me. And the interview was all me. I can't remember how much I was paid for this story. But the thrill of seeing my name in a magazine would have been payment enough.

Not that I told Philly Mag that.