What If Firefighters Showed Up at a Fire…

…and when they doused the fire with water, it actually got bigger and burned hotter?

That would suck.

A day after City Council members were assured that New Orleans firefighters would receive long-overdue raises in their pay packages Friday, the leader of the firefighters union said many of his members actually received less money than in the past.

"It's an event of historic proportions," said Nick Felton, president of Fire Fighters Association Local 632. "It's the first time in the history of New Orleans that city employees got a pay increase and lost money."

Hey, man, don’t blame City Hall. Their abaci* work just fine:

Chief Deputy City Attorney Joseph DiRosa Jr., the city's chief negotiator in the long-running firefighter pay dispute, said that despite the union's allegations, he was "absolutely confident" that all firefighters' pay had been calculated correctly.

***

DiRosa said that because paying the state-mandated longevity raises involved a switch from city to state longevity rules, it was possible that some firefighters did wind up making less money than before, even when a 10 percent raise was included.

*Abaci or abacuses?