The Reason Why You Were More Productive for 2.5 Hours Yesterday

Some people panicked and some people just spent more time on the “new Twitter.”

Facebook calls Thursday’s downtime the “worst outage we’ve had in over four years.” In post on the site, Facebook says it was unreachable for 2.5 hours because of “an unfortunate handling of an error condition.” Rich Miller at Datacenterknowledge.com breaks it down: “In short: A configuration change created a feedback loop that overwhelmed a database cluster. The only way to fix the problem was to take the whole cluster offline – which meant downtime for web site.”

If that wasn’t enough nerd for you, read more here.

h/t Mike Allen [not a nerd]

Famously Quoteworthy: Question of the Day

Smart questions deserve front page real estate:

Jason Cabel Roe: If Roger Clemens can get indicted for misleading congress, why can’t congress be indicted for misleading everyone?

h/t Swank

Famously Facebooked: Night Owl

Facebook Status Abuse:

Chris: Just pulled another all-nighter. It’s what you do when you’re making things happen.

Dear Captain Red Bull,

We’re not impressed.

We weren’t impressed the first seven times you did it and we won’t be impressed next week when you post the same thing and again make some sort of ridiculous comment about “stores not being open to sell you coffee.”

Sleep tight.

Cheers,
the editors

Do your friends abuse Facebook?  Report them anonymously below.

Famously Facebooked: Hardcore Flirting

Facebook Status Abuse:

The nice barista chica at Starbucks was hardcore flirting with me this morning. GREAT way to start a Monday!

No she wasn’t. She said, “Here’s your change, sir”

Do you have friends that abuse Facebook? Report their abuse.

Famously Facebooked: Hot as Goats

Facebook Status Awesomeness:

Ben spent the longest and hottest day of the year outside learning about goats.

We have no idea what this means, but we wish Ben the best of luck today with the roosters.

Do know someone with unusual Facebook updates? Send them to us anonymously.

Facebook Launches Politics Page

Facebook just launched a politics page: [groovy]

The U.S. Politics on Facebook page highlights the use of Facebook by politicians, elected officials, and political campaigns. The Page also shares tips and best practices as well as news from Facebook.

One of the featured politicians on the front of the page: [Former politician] Gov. Sarah Palin.

How to Avoid a Sausage Fest on Foursquare

Running into a lot of dudes when you venture out to Adams Morgan? [app for that]

Assisted Serendipity is a simple little application that uses Foursquare checkin data to alert you when the “scales of love tip in your favor,” i.e. when the male-to-female is on your side at a designated bar, restaurant or venue.

h/t Internet.Blog.Website

Famously Facebooked: Shape Up

Facebook Status Awesomeness:

Brad: If Joe Montana is wearing Shape Ups, then I am too…

We bought ours last week. We also snagged a few of these.

Famously Facebooked: Ego Trip

Facebook Status Abuse: [this was posted during business hours]

Benny: There’s nobody better at my job than me.

Benny, unless your self-employed, yes there is – and it’s the employee who’s not on Facebook right now.

Do your friends abuse Facebook?  Report them.

House GOP Unveils ‘New Media Challenge’

March Madness might be over for the NCAA, but it’s just getting started if you’re a Republican House member.  Yesterday, the House Republican Conference announced their “New Media Challenge.” The challenge is a six-week contest modeled after the NCAA’s March Madness basketball tournament. [sound familiar?]

Led by Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.), vice chair of the group, the competition calls on select members to expand their presence on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube ahead of this year’s tough 2010 midterm elections

The contest’s goal is to encourage members to engage their constituents, while demonstrating that the GOP is “ahead of the majority” on the Internet, McMorris Rodgers’ office told Hillicon Valley on Tuesday.

The list of tournament participants can be found here.

We look forward to some eye-popping tweets that are sure to come out of this tournament.

Ride Facebook to Congress

Hillicon Valley’s Kim Hart: Google, Facebook prepare for political ad bonanza in midterm elections

Google and Faceboook #Psychiatry

Dana Scarton ties together iPhones, ethics and sedatives.

Famously Facebooked: It’s Been a While

We haven’t featured Facebook updates in quite a while.  The reason: Most of the ridiculous updates have moved to Twitter.

The quick service door at the US Post Office is a complete misnomer.

We couldn’t agree more.

Jerky McJerk Jerk

New York Times: When Couples Fight on Facebook, Everyone Knows the Score

Facebook is Making Joan Rivers Look Like an Amateur

*Yes, we originally misspelled amateur.  That’s the way we roll.

Facebook gets another facelift:  [just when we got used to the old version]

Facebook on Thursday began rolling out a new design to its more than 350 million users, with various tweaks to encourage people to use the popular social network in new ways.

Among the changes: “The company has moved the search box.”

Ground-breaking.

What the Hell is Foursquare?

Besides being an enabler for pub crawls, Foursquare technology seems to serve little purpose.

If you’d like to make a case for the application, please email us at FamousDC@gmail.com and let us know why we shouldn’t poop on it.

Facebook Word of the Day: Vaguebooking

Everybody has “friends” who are guilty of this:

Vaguebooking: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what’s going on, or is possibly a cry for help.

As we’ve said before, if you’re that desperate for someone to take notice of you, join the Boys and Girls Club of America — but please don’t try to draw attention to yourself through status updates that require us to write you for clarification. If we have to ask, it’s probably not cool.

h/t Wife of Lazy Hazy via Kansas Sity Sinic

Doppelgänger Week on Facebook

This whole Doppelgänger thing is cracking us up:

“It’s Doppelgänger week on Facebook; change your profile picture to someone famous (actor, musician, athlete, etc.) you have been told you look like. After you update your profile with your twin or switched at birth photo then cut/paste this to your status.” [not even close]

We think this game needs a bit more instruction. For example, does the famous person have to look like you now or 20 pounds ago?  Because some of the pictures we’re seeing aren’t even close.

We’d also like the ability to vote on the new profile pictures.

a) spot on
b) barely
b) really?

There should also be penalties for misleading pictures.  For example, if 80% of your friends vote “really?” – you should be suspended from Facebook for a week.

Related: Are your friends abusing their Facebook privileges?

Kill Your Online Identity [Suicide Machine]

Have you ever asked someone, "should I tweet that?"
Have you ever said, "yeah, I’ll be right there, I just need to check Facebook real quick?"
Do you spend more time tweeting than you do talking?
Have you ever set up a fan page for yourself on Facebook?
Has your work productivity decreased, but your time spent at work increased?
Do you post pictures of your meals?
Have you ever experimented with Farmville? [just the tip]
Do you do dumb sh*t just so you can tweet it?
Have you ever received an email that read, "STOP TAGGING ME IN PHOTOS YOU ASS HAT!"?
Do you notify your followers as to when you arrive at work?  [PS: That's obnoxious]
Does your family mistakenly call you by your Twitter handle because you don’t call them anymore?
Do you have a false sense of self-worth because you have 1,600 Facebook friends?
Have you gained 15 pounds because Facebooking is now more important than your health?
Did you lose a bet because you finally joined Facebook?
Do you RT more than 10 times a day?
Does your resume now include the words "social," "media" and "expert?"

If you answered yes to 5 of these questions, it might be time to kill your online identity with the Web 2.0 suicide machine.

There’s no doubt that if you do so your popularity will plunge – but in order to get your life back in order, you have to take some time off.

If you don’t believe us, think back to how great [and simple] life was before social networks destroyed your free time.  We bet you read more.  We bet you phoned a friend every once and again.  We bet your grandparents got an occasional letter.  We bet your significant other seemed more interesting because you didn’t already know what they were thinking at every moment of the day.

Think about it. Get back to us.

h/t Lifehacker via Lazy Hazy

Famously Facebooked: Dating Tip

Facebook Awesomeness:

Tip #1: if I am dating you and I ask to borrow your cell phone, it means I am deleting my number from the phone and we are breaking up.

Quick and dirty.

Famously Facebooked: This is How It’s Done

Facebook Awesomeness:

If you don’t know, as of today, Facebook will automatically start plunging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings –> Planetary Settings –> Trajectory then UN-CLICK the box that says ‘Apocalypse.’ Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and paste onto your status for all to see.

Genius.

Know someone who continues to amaze you with their status updates? Hit us up.

Famously Facebooked: Snuggies Beware

Facebook Awesomeness:

Just saw a commercial for Snuggies and a couple was wearing them at the movie theater. These things better have magic powers because if I see someone wearing a Snuggie at movie theater they might take an ass whooping. Clearly a sign of the end times.

Like we wrote it ourselves.

Famously Facebooked: CAPSLOCK MAKES ME SMART

Facebook Status Abuse:

I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT – DOUBTERS BEWARE. IF YOU HATE THE PLAYER, DON’T PLAY THE GAME!!!!

We have our own theory about people WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS — but we’ll keep it to ourselves.

Got a friend who abuses their status updates? Report them below.

Famously Facebooked: Woman Up

Facebook Status Awesomeness:

Just passed a woman riding her bike to work on Pennsylvania Ave…more impressive than temp is 39 degrees…she was wearing high heels. You go, girl.

That’s how we do in the District.

Famously Facebooked: Thanks for Nothing

Facebook Status Abuse:

Kip is sitting here, trying to think of an insightful or funny status message but not having any luck … so … this will have to do.

Rule 1: If you have nothing to say, don’t waste everyone’s time by saying nothing.

Famously Facebooked: Thank God For Pancakes

In case you’re wondering if Facebook could ever keep you out of jail, it can:

WHERE MY IHOP?

A 19-year-old New York City man arrested on robbery charges has been exonerated thanks to his Facebook page — and a request for pancakes.

True story. Read the rest.

Things Social Media [Can and] Can’t Do

AdAge recently posted about the "top ten things social media can’t do."  Below are a few of their highlights, followed by our commentary.

Substitute for marketing strategy

Translation: Facebook is no longer a bullet point on that really awesome proposal you’re putting together – but shhh, don’t the "new media" experts.

Succeed without top management buy-in.

Translation: old people don’t Twitter.

Produce meaningful, measurable results quickly.

Note: Twitter has never produced anything meaningful

Guarantee sales or influence

RTs don’t translate into quick cash?

Be done by "kids" who "understand social innately"

Seriously, my neighbor’s kid Facebooks and can help your company go global.

On the other hand there are things social media CAN do

*Make you believe you’re important.
*Lead to awkward moments at staff meetings, especially when you realize you tweeted about your bout of diarrhea the night before.
*Hamstring your ability to ever run for office.
*Give you license to take pictures of your meals.
*Allow you to believe that tweeting about going to the gym somehow makes you skinnier.
*Be the sole reason you don’t get that much anticipated second date.
*Allow you to stalk people you’d otherwise never had remembered existed.
*Did we mention, give you a false sense of self worth?

Famously Facebooked: Sandwich Artist

Facebook Status Abuse:

Jason: its [sic] amazing how much better lettuce makes a sandwich taste.

Are you seriously updating us about lettuce?

If so, that’s awesome.  We actually like banana peppers on our Subway sandwich, but you’ll never see that on our Facebook status update.

PS: Lettuce makes everything better.

John Kelly is a Genius

John Kelly’s most recent column tackles the ridiculous nature of everyday people and their addiction to social networking.

I’m Writing to Say That I Wrote This Column and That I’m Writing to Say That I Wrote It

We’re writing to say that he wrote it, we read it and you should too.

And if that’s not enough for you, click here .

h/t Lazy Hazy’s Wife

Rules of Social Networking

According to the clever minds at Last Call.

The new existential rules: If your Twitter account gets hijacked, you explain on Facebook. If someone hijacks your Facebook, you have to change your name and start over.

For more social network rules, try this on for size.

Famously Facebooked: Somebody Sell Us a Pig

Facebook Status Abuse:

FarmVille: THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN! You know what they say about elephants, y’all: They never forget. Well, for the next 48 HOURS in FarmVille, you can send a BABY ELEPHANT to your friends so that they’ll never forget YOU. Be sure to hurry, these not-…so-little critters will be gone in two days when the circus rolls outta town!

What’s worse: 14,112 "liked" this update.

Dear Facebook,

Whoever is responsible for creating FarmVille is no longer invited to our Christmas party.

Hugs,

FDC

Famously Facebooked: Over-Easy

Facebook Status Abuse:

Fred had a great breakfast

It’s entirely too early on a Monday morning to make fun of Fred, but he’s officially been warned.

Famously Facebooked: Huh?

Facebook Status Curiosity:

Mike Huckabee: Please join me on Facebook tonight from 7 to 10 PM ET to help me spread our message and tell our government leaders "you work for us."

Nobody likes three-hour windows, Mike. Just ask the Comcast HR department.

Famously Facebooked: How Quickly It Disappears

Facebook Status Abuse:

Jim misses the days of 90 minute massages…

Don’t we all, Jimbo. Now get off your iPhone and get back to work. Those floors aren’t going to mop themselves.

Do your friends abuse their Facebook feed?  Report them below.

Famously Facebooked: Speed Dating

Facebook Status Abuse:

Jenn: Speeddating tonight! I’m short on Jewish women: Women 30-40/Men 35-45 event at 7:00 at YAKU. Email me if you want to come for free.

Jenn, e-Harmony is hiring. Third door on the left.

Famously Facebooked: Speaking of Argentina …

Facebook Status Abuse:

I think I lost my chance with the one person I care about.

A very Mark Sanfordish approach to updating your Facebook status.

Just How Awesome is Facebook?

College Humor has once again found a classic "Awkward Facebook Moment."

PS: Do you have a Facebook problem?  [Find out]

Famously Facebooked: Board = Bored

Facebook Status Abuse:

Boarded flight to Denver…

Unless you’re running from the law and attempting to shake the feds, posting items like this is annoying.

Do you know somebody abusing Facebook? Report them below.

Internet Addiction Center Opens

UPDATE: @Unsilent asks … Yes, but do they have WiFi? [brilliant question]
@RaysIndex Can i find it on Google Maps?
@meechone Or virtual classes?

We know a few political pundits that could use a little web rehab.

The center, called ReSTART, is somewhat ironically located near Redmond, headquarters of Microsoft and a world center of the computer industry. It opened in July and for $14,000 offers a 45-day program intended to help people wean themselves from pathological computer use, which can include obsessive use of video games, texting, Facebook, eBay, Twitter and any other time-killers brought courtesy of technology.

Speaking of Twitter. We do that too.

Famously Facebooked: Rep. Patrick McHenry Edition

Facebook Status Awesomeness:

Patrick McHenry: Much has happened since I started a long month of townhalls … So, MJ isn’t really the father of Blanket?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do it.

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