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Showing newest posts with label brilliant career moves. Show older posts
Showing newest posts with label brilliant career moves. Show older posts

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

CP random blogging

BERJAYA
Gentle Readers,

At CPW I don't generally blog on random items; I usually try to come up with a topic to discuss, a particular story to tell, or specific cat pictures to encourage my Gentle Readers to fawn over.

Today I am deviating from that policy. Whereas I have many a story brewing in my head, sometimes it takes a while for the meds to kick in and quiet the maelstrom in there so that I can write. Therefore, Gentle Readers, I have decided it might be better to check in with you periodically rather than make you wait for my psychosis to abate.

With that, here are my random items for today.

1. I have my own driver now. He took me to the airport earlier this year and asked if I wanted him to pick up me upon return. I said "no" at first because I've had car service "appointments" at the airport before and they usually turn into a big mess and take longer than it would just to wait for a cab. But he promised to call the airline to check on my flight number and to be there on time etc. etc. So I agreed.

The first night he met me at the airport he jumped out of the car, grabbed my suitcase, gave me this huge smile and said "Yah, you like me picking you up at the airport, don't you???" It was so cute I nearly swooned. So now I have his cell phone number and I just call him directly whenever I need a ride. He lives only four blocks from me, so I never have to give him directions. And his name is even Mo, but only because he's Egyptian.


2. I just got back from another sales conference I attended with my colleagues. The 3jesus97 lady and I have actually become very good friends, and she giggled like a schoolgirl when I told her my 11 years with Poor George are like 30 straight years.


3. The people that invited us to this sales conference are assholes. They were supposed to be "helping" us; instead, they presented a bunch of bullshit, then made each of us stand up and give a short demo on one of our products so that they could "evaluate" us, American Idol style, and choose a "winner" based on who gave the "best" presentation.

I don't mind contests when they are based on hard & fast data, e.g. on who sold the most or something like that. But to stand up and be judged and compared to colleagues based on nothing other than whom the judges decide they like the best is just offensive. Since no one likes me, of course I did not win which is all the more reason I should be annoyed.

Next time they invite me to one of these I'm going to announce that we, the attendees, will evaluate each speaker and select the "best" at the end of the meeting. And the award will be a swift kick in the ass, but I'll present one of those to each of them on accounta I'm egalitarian.


4. I had a dream this morning that we were meeting our friend Bradley at an outdoor opera, and he arrived wearing a Brunhilde helmet. As we were walking toward the amphitheater, a bunch of frat boys grabbed Bradley's helmet and ran away with it. Bradley looked so forlorn that I took after the boys to try to get the helmet back. I never caught them, but I did run into this guy from my high school who used to taunt me for being gay and then whose father later got in trouble for molesting teenage boys. What a dick. (The part about the guy with the molester father is true, although it is only in my dream that I ran into him.)


Love,
CP

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Mojo missing

BERJAYA
Hello again Gentle Readers,

Just another note to say I'm still here. But my writing mojo has taken a short vacation, so y'all are just going to have to wait for my Poor George sequel, as well as the rest of the Bubs interview.

Min's dad is still hanging on, though it looks like we're getting closer to a resolution. I'm glad he has all his family around him.

My job as a Strategic Sales Executive is sucking the very life force out of me. The other day I made yet another brilliant career move by telling our vice president, in front of all my colleagues, "I can't do anything about these ridiculous numbers so I simply decided I wouldn't worry about them." Those kinds of comments are usually reserved for the independently wealthy who wouldn't care if they were fired. The room went silent for a few moments, and then the VP said "well it's good that you choose something to focus on and then do it." Of course, he may not be aware that what I focus on most is chronicling the annoying things my sales reps do and say to me.

After my Chicago meetings I stopped in on my parents for approximately 20 hours, and realized I had not seen them since our disastrous vacation last summer. My, how time flies when you're dysfunctional.

Love,
CP