Arizona Gets Teh Big Ugly

Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona

 

 

 

 

 

It would appear the "illegal alien" hysteria that Republicans whipped up to scare all them scary brown people away from the polls is having dubious effects, at best. Raw Story tells us that the State of Arizona has already incurred costs of close to half a million dollars defending the deeply flawed legislation that is at the heart of this battle, SB 1070. 

Apparently, one of the effects has been to reveal Arizona Governor Jan Brewer's true nature. We don't often pick on people for their looks here at La Casa de Los Gatos. We much prefer picking on their character flaws. But every now and then one comes along that just leaves us flapdoodled.

I mean, lookit, this lady has money. She's not some poor slob who works two jobs fourteen hours a day to put food on the table. And she obviously spends a good bit of that money on her appearance. I mean, the dye job alone is keeping a good part of the chemical and fashion industries employed, heah!

So, what, Jan, did the plastic surgeon want to charge by the yard to get rid of those dreadful frown lines? Perhaps if you worked on your inside a bit, you know, took time to see the good and beautiful around you, those dreadful lines would fade. After all, wrinkles should, you know, convey character. And yours are not conveying anything nice about you at all.

She's not a nice person, Jan Brewer. She lies about all kinds of stuff, and most of what comes out of her mouth is hateful and false.

Looks like it's catching up with her, though. She's off her game, and as the cost of defending this ridiculous piece of legislation goes up, up, up, she's stumbling and stammering and falling apart. Couldn't happen to a more deserving person.

Stumble It!

Republican Scandal Of The Week

ICHC Very Demotivational

I'm actually wondering if I should change that head to read "Republican Scandal of the Day." Because, yaknow, there's just no keeping up with those motherfuckers.

Every time you turn around, there's yet another one in the paper, on your TV, at some Web site, saying or doing something totally unacceptable or getting busted for not keeping their pants on.

I sure do miss the days when the Democrats had all the sex scandals and the Republicans stuck to what they do best — robbing the people blind.

CA State Senator Roy Ashburn

Forgive me for not covering all the other scandals — Rand-Away Paul's reprehensible comments on the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the right of private property owners (even those who do business with the public) to discriminate; Roy Ashburn's sudden 180 on LGBTQ rights after he got busted driving drunk with a young man in his car, having just left a GAYGAYGAYGAYGAY bar; Professor George Rekers, married (can you say "beard," children? I knew you could) co-founder (with James Dobson) of homophobic organizations Family Research Council and NARTH (one o'dem "cure teh ghey" groups) and his rent boy (who gives ass-levitating massages, I hear); et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. Because, frankly, I'd be here all day with stubby bloody little finger-stumps if I tried.

Meet Nimrata Randhawa Haley. Nimrata seems to be suffering the same Westernizification disease that has afflicted Louisiana governor Piyush Jindal. Just as Piyush became "Bobby," so Nimrata has become "Nikki" in her attempt to please the Betty Browns of this world.

Nimrata "Nikki" Randhawa Haley

In case you didn't know who Betty Brown is and don't want to clicky teh linky, Ms. Brown is the Texas State legislator who asked Americans of Asian descent to change their names to names that are "easier for Americans to deal with." Thereby implying, of course, that such Americans are not, you know, real Americans. Well, she won't have to worry about Nimrata and Piyush. Any American, even an Asian-American, can say "Nikki" and "Bobby."

Nikki Haley is a South Carolina representative in Washington, D.C. Apparently, a former colleague of Nikki's, one Will Folks, claims they've been boffing. They met when they both worked for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (yeah, the guy who was "hiking the Appalachian Trail" on Nude Hiking Day, when he was supposed to be in the office, or at least reachable by his staff, not to mention his wealthy wife who bought him the job).

At the time, Folks was one of Sanford's top spokesweasels. It's not clear exactly what Haley was other than a hot mama with a nice booty. However, Folks apparently is leaking the nasty details of their affair in a slow drip to the South Carolina press. None of it has convincing probative value, but a lot of it is pretty damn suspicious. For one thing, Mr. Folks apparently worked for Ms. Haley's campaign at one time. During which period, some 700 telephone calls were made, mostly by Ms. Haley to Mr. Folks, many of them late at night, and some of them lasting several hours.

Ms. Haley defends herself with the claim that she works hard and works her staff hard as well. (Perhaps she should have avoided the word "staff.") That's all well and good, Nikki, but if my spouse got on the phone at 11 pm and stayed on for three fucking hours, I would not be a happy camper at all. It would take some smooth smooth talking and lots of excellent sex to quiet my suspicions, if you know what I mean. And she was calling him at 2 am and talking till 5 am. OK, so, what's the story here, Nikki? I work hard too, but I would never call a colleague at 2 am. I would assume that they were sleeping the sleep of the righteous and just.

We've all pulled all-nighters, sometimes several days or weekends in a row. Would you feel it was cool to call a colleague who was not also pulling an all-nighter, after 10 pm? I sure wouldn't. Hell, I've been chewed out for calling people after 8 pm, especially if they have young children.

And three hours? Seriously, girl-child, if it takes you three hours to discuss your bidness, you in the wrong line of work.

The most interesting thing about this very strange and creepy story is, Ms. Haley has yet to deny it. She's said things along the lines of she doesn't want to give any weight to this story and it's not worth her time and energy and yadadadayada. But she hasn't actually denied that she had an affair with the guy. The furthest she has gone is to say:

"I have been 100% faithful to my husband throughout our 13 years of marriage," Haley said in a statement. "This claim against me is categorically and totally false."

See, now, it would have been so easy for Ms. Haley to say, "I never had an affair with Will Folks."

But that's not what she said. And we hairsplitters know there's a difference between lying outright and lying by implication.

More to the point, Ms. Haley said she "barely knew" Will Folks. That's quite possible, of course, we don't all know every single one of our former colleagues or employees well. But if you make 700 phone calls to someone, some of them lasting two or three hours, it gets kinda hard to argue that you don't know them well. People I don't know well might get one telephone call a year from me. On the other hand people I'm screwing like a bunny, yeah, I'm so there with the three-hour phone calls (much as I hate using the phone) and the everyday emails and shit.

Oh, and Nikki Haley has the endorsement of Scary Failin', aka Babble Spice. Who was rumoured to be screwing her husband's business partner some time ago, although the guy sealed his court records so none of us will find the hard evidence. Birds of a feather, and all that.

OTOH, you know, given that soon-to-be ex-Governor Sanford was making the beast with two backs (or whatever else he was doing) with Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentinian beauty for whom he dumped his wealthy wife Jenny, just recently; Lt. Governor Andre Bauer (also running for the same post) recently informed a shocked nation that giving welfare to poor people just encourages them to breed like stray animals; Third-string Repugly candidate Gresham Barret, polling at a whole 16% has won the endorsement of Darth Cheney himself (that should be teh kiss of death right there) — nah, we still hope she loses to the Democrat.

Satan always asks, "WWCD?"

Now, normally, we at this fine blog could give a fuck who's fucking who, you know? The more people fuck the less likely they are to be beating the crap outa each other, right? OTOH, the Scary Failin' ranks of Fambly Valyooz hypocrites really, really get our fucking goat. We'd like to see them all pilloried in public, pelted with rotten fruit and past-use-by-date eggs. They fucking suck because they want everyone but their sick sad selves to abide by rules that they themselves can't live by.

So, Nikki, here's a little song for you from the South Carolina electorate — Why don't we get drunk and screw:

Stumble It!

Any Sane Republicans Left?

I know I've asked this before, but the latest wave of Republican KrayZ has me mind boggling aboot like a boggle in a bog. And I mean bog in the worst way.

No, srsly. Lookit dis one:

Chicken Sue

This here crazy-eyed person is the latest in the Republican Trifecta of KrayZ Wimmen Running 4 Ofc. (The other two being Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann.) Now, don't go thinking that we at this fine blog gratuitously insult people at random. While it's true that we insult people as often as we can in as vituperative a manner as we can manage, it's never gratuitous. And none has worked harder to earn our coming vituperation and open mockery as Chicken Sue Lowden.

See, Susie here is running against Harry Reid of Nevada. I'm not wild about Harry Reid. But he seems to be a hardworking soul, if somewhat timid and obsessed with procedural detail. Still, he does get things done, and he does seem to have some basic common sense and decency. Also, and this is important in this era of the Holy Trinity (Palin, Bachmann, and Lowden), he is not crazy.

Susie, on the other hand, well, now, let's just say she might someday give Michelle B a run for her money in the "aliens have eaten my brain" category of KrayZ. See, Susie wants to repeal the recently passed health care reform — that part's OK, all the Republicans are yowling about repealing health care reform — and she proposes that we replace our current vastly inadequate system of payments for health care with individual barter. For example, says Sue, you could pay your doctor with chickens.

I'm trying to envision what the fuck my surgeon would have done with all the chickens he would've had to charge me for my recent knee replacement. Is this woman serious? Is she for real? How many chickens for the anesthetist? The attending nurses? The surgical team? Surely we'd need someone to manage the paperwork. And what about chicken transport? Sanitation laws?

Waitafuckinminnit, she's got ME doing it. Goddammit. The danger of actually trying to understand the KrayZ of KrayZ people is, you could go KrayZ too.

So. Some kind souls have created a site that allows you to specify how many chickens, or whatever, you can barter for treatment of your ailments. You can send your letter to Sue Lowden and she can help you find someone who will treat you for the specified number of bib jeans. Or whatever.

Bib jeans are very in these days, I hear. Tres chic. All the rage. Good luck.

OK, the KrayZ keeps snowballing. Some Republican dipwad from TN now wants to ensure vegan and vegetarian doctors will be permitted in this barter system. How many parsnips for a hangnail? What if your doctor wants mangoes from Fortnum & Mason?

Where the fuck do they find these dim bulbs, anyway?

Stumble It!

Entertainment: It's Satire, Honest!

Which makes it all right. Babble Spice says so, and who are we to argue?

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sarah Palin Uses a Hand-O-Prompter
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Economy

Oh, Stephen, you fucking kill me, guy.

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Health Care: What YOU Can Do

ICHC FTW!

Fight the good fight. That's right. The fight is on, people. The President gave Congress plenty of time to write a decent bill. He even gave them guidelines for what he would accept.

They've been fucking around for too long. Bernie Sanders put forth a good bill, but will it get considered when House and Senate attempt reconciliation to create the final bill? Meanwhile, Max "Blue Running Dog" Baucus of the Senate Finance Committee has put forth a "bill" written by — not Maxie himself, but by one Liz Fowler, former VP for Public Policy and External Affairs at WellPoint, a health insurance company which is the largest member of Blue Cross and Blue Shield. WellPoint has aggressively lobbied against health reform, especially a public option. WellPoint has also recently come under fire for pressuring its employees to lobby against health care reform, claiming reform would cause “…tens of millions of Americans to lose their private coverage and end up in a government-run plan.”

Well, here's what Matt Taibbi has to say about this whole health care reform scam. While La Casa de Los Gatos doesn't always agree with Taibbi, we think he's brilliant and his take on these events is a point of view well worth reading.

For those of a more religious bent, or surrounded by those of a more religious bent, with whom you're trying to argue yet, here are some excellent points from a Christian blogger who advances an irrefutable argument.

Although we've always held that religion makes you crayzee, this lady is a clear exception to the rule. It's possible to be religious without losing your critical faculties, reasoning powers, logic, and rational thought. Thank you, Lisa!

In the meantime, please note that the yammerati on TV and in the press are yawping on endlessly about The Lewin Group's studies that show bla de bla bla bla. Well, folks, the Lewin Group are a fucking bunch of shills. They're nothing but a subsidiary of health insurance giant UnitedHealth. How convenient, eh? They do the "research" and feed it to Congress and the people, and nobody bothers to disclose the fact that they're actually part of one of the groups that stands to profit from failure to reform the broken healthcare system. Next time you hear someone yawping "But the Lewin Group says ...," please interrupt them with, "But the Lewin Group is a subsidiary of UnitedHealth." Or whatever you feel is appropriately scathing in the circumstances.

We don't even need to discuss the Baucus bill, or, more correctly, the WellPoint bill. It's bad, it's wrong, it's going to cost taxpayers more for less and penalize people who want health care and small business while giving billions of our money away to corporate greedbags. Firedoglake has all the dirt and details. The MSM, or corporate media, if you prefer, is giving Ms. Fowler a virtual tongue-bath for her "dedication to health care reform," without hardly mentioning her years spent raking in the bucks as a corporate VP for one of the worst greedbags in the health "insurance" business. Fuck 'em.

Here is a scorecard, created by HealthCareNow, which rates single-payer versus public option. We want single payer, we need single payer. Baucus/Fowler's bill won't even give us public option. Instead, it will force us to buy expensive insurance, with a penalty of nearly $4,000 for those who don't/won't/can't afford it. Businesses who refuse to buy health insurance coverage for their employees will get fined a whole whopping $400. Which of these entities can better afford the larger sum, a business, or an individual?

So we need to tell Baucus to roll up his bill and stick it where the sun don't shine. He's getting public health care, why won't he share it with us? Notice that neither he nor Fowler are rushing to get off their publicly-funded health care and rush to the loving arms of WellPoint? Baucus has taken nearly $4 million from the health care industry. Gee, where do you suppose his loyalties lie?

Over at HuffPo where the debate is raging strong, I found several comments that inspired me. I'd like to share them with you:

Commenter CtTransplant:

Never ever ever give up!!! Folks, do not forget the marches on September 13th!!!
If not now, when? If not us, who?

Kennedy was one of our greatest champions of health care reform. He carried the torch for a long time...and now it is up to us to continue to carry it!

Our elected officials in Congress receive health care mostly paid for by us tax payers, yet many are trying to make it impossible for us to purchase an affordable plan of our own :

While many of us are struggling to afford medical insurance/medical bills.
While Congress people try to stop healthcare reform.
While Congress people accept large contributions from lobbyists to prevent health care reform.

Please sign these petitions - and by all means, spread the word! Thank you!

http://www.petitiononline.com/PubOp676/petition.html
http://www.democrats.com/honor-ted-kennedy?cid=ZGVtczQ0MTA5OGRlbXM=
http://salsa.wiredforchange.com/o/5649/t/4922/content.jsp?content_KEY=2763&tag;=hk1_typ-e1

Absolutely. Sign the damn petitions. Maybe it won't mean doodly-squat. And maybe it will. If enough voices shout out loud, our cowardly pathetic weaseling politicians will no longer be able to say, "We didn't know you felt that way." Maybe the bastards will at least be forced to buy a little lube for the next public screwing they have planned.

Commenter IzzyCA:

We are organizing marches and rallies all over the country to support health care reform and the public option on Sunday, September 13.

Want to join our marches/rallies?
Facebook: March for Healthcare group:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=118144661546#/group.php?gid=118144661546
Wiki: http://healthcaremarch.pbworks.com/FrontPage#view=page
Website: http://www.march4healthcare.com/

That's SUNDAY, people. It's a day off from work. Take that day to go out onto the streets and show our politicians that we're not fooled by their dodging and ducking. The media has been slow to cover the REAL news. They like to take videos and photos of angry screaming loons at town halls because that sells airtime, or column inches.

Well, fuck that shit. If enough bodies turn out on the streets, some senior editor is going to say, "For fuck's sake go out there and find out why the cops are out and traffic is blocked and bring me back a goddamned story and some damn good pitchers or your ass is grass."

So, c'mon, y'awl. That's something you can do WITH your kids, for free. Take them out to a health care rally. That way, if we lose this fucking fight, you can at least say, hey kids, remember when? I did my bit. But we won't lose, if enough of us fight back.

For those going to DC, details are here.

The bill in the house that contains the provisions we want and need is Conyers' HR-676. In the Senate, it's Bernie Sanders S.703. In the event, it sure as hell is not going to be the Baucus/Fowler bill. DO NOT WANT!



To find out where the closest health care rally is, go here. Create an account, or if you already have one, log in. Scroll down the right side of the page and click Find an Event, and you'll be directed to an event being held closest to the zip code that you entered when you created your account.

And remember, if health care is not reformed and soon, it's going to end up breaking the slowly-recovering economy. We pay more than double what our Canadian neighbours do, for less health care. If people tell you, "Well, Canadians come here for their health care all the time," point out to them that the number of Canadians who come here for their health care is way way less than even one per cent of their population; most Canadians are very happy with their health care; and lots of Americans go over there for health care, too.

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Politics: Sarah Palin

Image from ClarkBlog

is stepping down as the Governor of Alaska.

I know what you're thinking, cos that's what I'm thinking: WTF has she done now? Is National Enquirer about to reveal the facts of the sleazy affair she had with her husband's business partner? Or is Mark Sanford about to reveal that she was one of the women that he "crossed the line" with? Or is an indictment coming down?

Who knows? All I can say is, Whoo-hoo! Now, if she'd only resign from teh Hoomin Race, with which she has, really, nothing in common.

Stumble It!

Politics: Mark Sanford

Oh, boo-hoo. Some pinhead opinionifying over at CNN is drilling in the Deep Well of Gall to tell us all we should not be getting outraged over Sanford's shenanigans. FTA:

We need to understand this situation for what it is: human weakness, poor judgment, personal longing and complicated relationships. The question is, how are we -- each one of us personally -- going to respond? I'd like to make a suggestion:

We should empathize.

I'd like to make a suggestion, too, dumbkopf — pull your cranium out of your rectum. Whatever happened between Sanford and his wife is their fucking problem (literally as well as figuratively). And while we enjoy bwa-ha-haaing at those holier-than-thou hypocrites who preach "fambly valyooos" out of one side of their ass while pillorying anyone who looks like they might have snuck a little sideline of horizontal samba, we empathize with ridiculous modern-day notions of marriage as being between one guy and one gal but not for teh ghey. (I can't imagine any gay person doing more damage to teh "sanctity" of marriage than, oh, Britney Spears, Mark Sanford, and all you other Christo-fascist yobs.)

The *real* issue for us here at La Casa de Los Gatos is, this dumb motherfucker took off work without making any arrangements for anyone else to take up his duties; and flew off to boink his girlfriend after LYING to everybody and their fucking sister-in-law about where he was going. He didn't call in, he didn't check that the whole fucking state hadn't been blown off the map during his absence, he didn't show ANY responsibility whatsoever.

When I accepted the last paid job I had, I had to sign a contract that said that if I missed work for more than THREE DAYS without notifying the office of my absence and giving them a way to contact me, I would be FIRED. And I was not some high-ranking corporate BigDick. Or some governor of a state, responsible for the lives, safety, and well-being of hundreds of thousands of other human beings. Just a lowly corporate worm. But them wuz teh breaks. We had that drilled into our heads by HR. If you want to take time off, fill out a form at least two weeks before you leave, explaining that you will be out of the office, the purpose of your absence (you could just put "vacation time," or "bereavement leave," or whatever, but that form had to be filled in), date of return to work, emergency contact number, approval of your immediate manager and approval of your manager's manager.

If you got hit by a car and were not dead, then you had to instruct your next-of-kin to call the fucking office, for crying out loud, and tell them that you were dying at such-and-such hospital and would return to work (or not) by such a date. So where does this motherfucking yobbo get off, just disappearing into the wild blue yonder? I'm supposed to empathize with this shit? I THINK NOT, mofo. Fuck that! What's so special about Sanford's Holy Taint? What, the rules don't apply to him?

To add insult to injury, the motherfucker paid for his boinking trip with taxpayer money. The state of South Carolina is in the shitpit for money, the unemployment rate is high and climbing, the governor stamps his little feet and whines about not wanting to take Federal money for unemployment so working people who've been laid off can put food on the fucking table for themselves and their kids, and he's got the unmitigated gall to take THEIR money to pay for his horizontal samba? And lie about it? Stealing, lying, cheating, irresponsibility ... this is what I'm supposed to empathize with? I'm supposed to happily susidize Sanford's knob-polishing ventures while surviving on cereal and water?

What planet are these dumb asses from?

And it's not like the guy has shown any shame and remorse for his utterly shameful acts. Today he's whooping on about how, like King David in the bibul, he is NOT, NOT, NOT going to resign. Hey, fuckface — you're not a king. You were *elected* governor. David couldn't be impeached. You can. And I sincerely hope you are. What's more, I hope your wife kicks you out on your ass, and your Argentinian bombshell takes up with someone younger, cuter, and hotter than you. Because you did her a big disservice too, you hypocritical bag o'dicks, outing the whole affair and crying in public about how you done your wife wrong.

Your wife is mega-rich, she'll soon get over your wack crap. And the Argentinian babe is muy hot, so I'm sure there's no shortage of guys lining up waiting for a smile from her. You're the asshole here, not either of the two ladies involved. You hit on another woman after years of mush-mouthing your "Praise Jeebus I R a Xtian man and the Lord totally blesses my schlong" crap. You had the balls to ask your wife's permission to go visit your mistress. Instead of manning up to your responsibility as the father of four young boys and the "Law(d)fully wedded husband" of your wife, who has worked hard to promote your career for close to two decades, you miserable bastard.

You need a come-uppance, man, because you're too fucking arrogant by half. King David, my ass. ESAD, you slavering fuckwit.

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Politics: You Owe It To Yourselves

to read what my good friend Chuck Butcher has to say about Senator Jim Webb and the criminal justice system.

I'm really thrilled to see that Senator Webb is living up to the high hopes I had for him. I was convinced there was gold in there in that complex, shy, stubborn, and solid man, and he's proving that he's more interested in the wellbeing of this nation than his own political future. McCain could learn a lot about "country first" by watching Senator Webb.

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Politics: It's OK If You're A Republican

Eric Cantor, fucking Rethuglican of fucking Virginia would fucking like you to fucking know that he don't take no shit from no fucking unions:



Of course, he has no trouble making videos like this laced with profanity and sending them to union workers, asshole, 'cause you fucking unions are really giving him a fucking pain in the ass, yaknow?

Yeah, yeah, some stoolie in his office apologized for this shit. It's not everyday they get to make fun of fucking workers, yaknow?

I just hate these people. With a passion. Hey, Cantor? ESAD, man. Or DIAF. It's about the same to me. Oh, and take your idiot minions with you. Bunch'a fuckin' pukes.

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Politics: Telling It Like It Is

A happy confluence that will leave you with plenty to ponder: Bill Moyers talks to Glenn Greenwald and Jay Rosen about the old media and President Obama. Please to listen. Moyers is a true journalist, the likes of whom are long since history. You don't need an introduction to Glenn Greenwald, and if you do, take yourself over to Salon just to read his fine blog. Jay Rosen is a professor of journalism who blogs over at PressThink, and the impetus to the entire citizen-journalist movement that is (please deities it can't come too soon) wiping out the old media as typified by teh money tycoons like Rupert Murdoch (could you lose another $6 billion, please?).

LOLcattitude from ICHC

In other news, Republican Senators continue to chop away at the stimulus bill like the feculent asshats that they are. DailyKos blogger Jed L explains that each such cut lowers the number of jobs the bill can help to create. PLEASE contact these buttsuckers and let them know that you want a job, need a job, need that damn income, and if they don't vote to increase the stimulus spending, they will need to start worrying about a job right soon. Here's a list of what those putrid scumbuckets cut from the bill. You'll notice that it's heavy on health, energy, and environment-related stuff.

This fine blog will draw up a list of the Republican and Democratic senators running for re-election in 2010, together with information on how they voted on the issues close to our hearts. We'll let you know when that's ready. We have to combat this kind of attitude in Washington. They're happy to give our dollars to anyone who will blow them, but when we need health care, food, jobs, they give us the finger. Let's see about that.

For those of us who think what the President of the United States does don't matter globally, here's a fine refutation of that common (lack of) wisdom. What each of us does in our lives influences all others with whom we come in contact. The higher up the ladder we rank, the more people fall under our influence. Thus, while Bush was president, we had almost daily reports of police misconduct, and other countries felt free to pass draconian laws that affected their own people as much as anyone else. Now that Obama is President, we find police refusing to kick people out of their foreclosed homes, while leaders of other countries begin to follow our fine President's fine example and claw back bonuses and emoluments for the scumbag bankers who fucked up the world economy.


Finally, the Iranian PressTV is claiming that Netanyahu, should he win the Israeli elections, will "push Obama on Iran," and will be able to coax the US into either declaring war on Iran or underwriting a war on Iran. Well, Iranian press channels are doubtless biased, but we all know that Israel has been pushing throughout the entire Bush regime for war on Iran. The only remaining question has long been "When?" It's important that we not lose sight of our immediate goals of ending US military involvement abroad and taking care of our own economy and our own hungry, jobless, sick, and poor.

This means putting some time and energy into making it clear to Washington that Israel should not be dictating American foreign policy, and that America needs to heal her own wounds before incurring more for the benefit of Israel, which continues to be a drain on our taxpayer dollars to the tune of several billion a year. Basta! Enough of this shit already.

Bonus activism points: If you happen to have a few spare dollars sitting around and are in the mood to do something good somewhere, consider buying a copy of the barefoot doctor's manual, Where There is No Doctor and sending it to a community that needs it. Copies available from hesperian. For more information, contact hesperian on the net, or call them at 510-845-1447.

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Politics: You Owe It To Yourselves

Go on. Take Yahoo's bullshit InnerTubes poll and let them know how you feel about Bush's (Who? Yeah, I know, smartass.) performance as your President for eight (long, painful, endless) years.

Believe it or don't, it's currently running at, like, half and half. Half thinks he stinks and there's enough braindead bots who sharply disagree and think the sun shone out of his arsehole (to which all I can say is, y'all are Blinded by the Light).

You just know you don't have to ask how I voted. But I will tell if y'all asks nicely. Yaknow, with sugar on it.

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Politics: Your Happy News For Teh Day

Kit Bond — Barely 70 and already looking like a corpse


Boom! Boom! Boom!

Another one bites the dust!

Yeah, it should make you happy. If it don't, there's something wrong witchu.

Missouri Senator Kit Bond announced yesterday that he's not planning to run for reelection. He was singing quite the different tune last year, so his rage of Hunchmen (and Hunchwomen, thanks Frank Zappa!) have been caught sorta kinda flatfooted by the whole thing.

Bond spokeswoman Shana Marchio said she had been "preparing for him to run. We were going full-throttle."

Bwahahahahahaha!

Why, you might ask, am I waxing so lively at this news? Because it would appear that as each day dawns we are moving closer to the goal of a filibuster-proof Senate so that our President, Barack Obama, can implement the goals that will save our jobs, our lives, our homes, and our dignity both at home and abroad:

Bond's decision will force the GOP to launch an expensive and competitive campaign next year to hold onto the Missouri Senate seat, as well as the seat in Florida being vacated by Republican Mel Martinez, who is retiring. Senate Democrats, who need 60 votes to stop Republican filibusters, hold 58 seats and could have 59 if Minnesota upholds Al Franken's recount victory.

And nothing delights me more than knowing that the sleazeball Norm Coleman will soon be gone, the sleazeball Mel Martinez (who passed around the Terri Schiavo memo in Congress) is retiring, and now Senator Kit Bond, the man responsible for passing the Defense Authorization Act which basically killed Posse Comitatus dead, is about to be Gone, Baby, Gone.

How can y'all not erupt in whoops of joy and spontaneous knicker-showing can-can dances on the streets, dayum!

From ICHC, your Premium source of LOLcattery

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No Shortage of Teh Stupid

in this world. Oy vey. An Australian woman apparently decided to set her husband's penis on fire because she suspected him of sleeping with another woman.


Hello? Thanks to Lorena Bobbit, most of us are well aware that women from Third World countries are nowhere near as demure and easily dominated as Western men in search of mail-order brides think they are, but girlfriend? Was this necessary?

Sure, if you think your schweetie is schtupping someone else you can get kinda crazy, but seriously. That's the time to take a long walk until the fire in your brain goes out and you can think without "KILL!" appearing in big red letters in front of your eyes every ten seconds. If nothing else, think about your children. You made the mistake of marrying a serial schtupper, figure out how to fix the mistake without causing unnecessary grief and pain for your children.

I mean, seriously. If it's wrong for a man to break his girfriend's jaw because she's schtupping his best friend, it's just as wrong for a woman to set her boyfriend's dick on fire because he's schtupping her, I dunno, hairdresser. Or sister, even.

Plus, like, you killed him, yaknow? What's that about, ya dimbulb? She's got three kids with the guy and she kills him because he's screwing around? Listen, sister, if yer old man is screwing around, divorce the sonofabitch and keep the house and a big chunk of his income. You know, like Robin Williams says, divorce is "from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Between child support and alimony, he won't be able to keep the girlfriend happy.

Better yet, have an amicable divorce and walk away. Let him have his girlfriend. You find yourself someone else. Everybody's happy, most importantly the goddamn kids, because you know, this way, their daddy's kacked, YOU're the one who kacked him, and you'll probably spend a lot of time in jail. How's this helping the children?

But no, you, you rocket scientist, you had to pour methylated spirit all over his dick while he slept, and then set fire to him. The poor bastard suffered burns to 85 per cent of his body and died slowly and painfully in hospital 20 days later.

That's bad enough, but what does Mrs. Dim Bulb then do? She tells her neighbours that she only wanted to burn her husband's penis

"so it belongs to me and no one else," prosecutors claimed.

[...]

"It's just his penis I wanted to burn, I didn't mean this to happen," the Adelaide Advertiser quoted her as saying.

Jumpin' Jehosophat, woman, his penis belongs to him, not you, and not his goddamned girlfriend. And if you'd kept your mouth shut, at least some lawyer could have done something for your kids. Even if you don't care about anyone else, could you show some interest in your kids here?

And they say arranged marriages are the best. Whaddya wanna bet Mrs. Dim Bulb's marriage to Mr. Dim Bulb was arranged by their parents?

Oh, and hey, Mr. Dim Bulb, you're dead, and all, so I reckon I should refrain from thwapping you upside teh head with the Casa de Los Gatos Trademarked Golden Bat o'Clue, but you sure as hell were stupid fella. You're not some Western bride-buyer, you know damn well you should not be messing around on your wife or she will cut your nuts off. Why, it's practically a family tradition in some parts of the world. Fuck around on wife? Get your nuts removed.


So which head were you thinking with, that you actually closed your eyes and slept in the marital bed and the marital house? Like any sensible Indian man should do, if you're screwing around on the wifey-poo, for Christ's sake, sleep in the girlfriend's house, dammit. Or in a separate bedroom from wifey-poo. Preferably one with a strong door and a good lock that you keep firmly locked and bolted. And if you weren't schtupping someone else, then a pox upon ye for not sorting that out with your woman.

What kind of man creates this kind of golmal with three children in the house? You don't love your wife, divorce her. Hella lot better than ending up dead with the wife in jail and the kids being raised by relatives. Not to mention some furious neighbours who lost their house too in the ensuing inferno. Idiot.

In additional proof that Teh Cup of Teh Stupid Runneth Over, the Newport News is reporting that the recent drop in fuel prices is going to have an effect on truck and SUV sales — they will outsell cars for the first time since February. Manufacturers are, apparently, offering huge discounts, and teh stupid are rushing to buy. Listen, idiots: First off, please publicly identify yourselves with, I dunno, a BIG RED "S" for Stupid carved into your forehead. Then line up for a good thwack with the Trademarked Bat o'Clue. Because those gas prices will stay low only as long as consumption of gasoline stays low.

Once y'all start driving your Stupidmobiles, aka Suburban Assault Vehicles, in any number, you'll increase the rate of gasoline consumption, at which point, obeying the Laws of Supply and Demand, producers will raise the prices once more while you sit your fat ass in your latest metal behemoth of Stupid and yawp about how high gas prices are and it ain't right and there oughta be a LAAAAW!

There sure as fuck oughta — against Teh Stupid, and moreover, against self-replication by Teh Stupid.


Least, and also last, Gee Dumbya's Daddums, Gee Hell Dumbya, is actually flapping his gums about how his other worthless lump of flesh (or progeny if you prefer) deserves a shot at the Presidency.

Say fucking WHAT? Hello, are we talking about the dickhead who made all that fuss and bother about Terri Schiavo that caused thousands of otherwise ignorant apathetic and plain flat-out inattentive Americans to rush to get DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) provisions inserted in their Living Wills? The same fuckwit who is tied in to the belly-up death of Lehman Bros? Brother of the current Idiot 'n Thief and also of the other two criminals bearing the same last name? Let's see, one of those was tied to the death of Silverado S&L; and the other was flogging some bogoid cheap-shit software that purported to "help kids learn" but in reality got a toehold in the public school system at enormous cost to us taxpayers through the "No Child's Bankbook Left Behind" act?

Is Shrub the Elder totally senile or only half in the toilet? Because, Daddums, your upper story is Gone, Baby, Gone if you think the natives will put up with any more of your vile and corrupt descendants in close proximity to the Treasury. Shit, it's gonna take at least a decade to clean up the crap your last cumwad got us in to.

Geez, is this whole family fucking delusional, or what?

From the article:

"I'd like to see him run. I'd like to see him be president some day," Bush the elder said.

The 41st president admitted, however, that there have probably been too many Bushes in the White House lately.

No shit, Sherlock. One was already one too many. Take the rest of your evil spawn to Paraguay and rot quietly in the jungle somewhere, why don't you? Yeesh. The thought of Jeb, who looks like he just stepped off the set of Deliverance, anywhere near the white house is enough to make me puke. Isn't he already in his sixties? In eight years' time, hopefully, he'll suffer from the same senile dementia now affecting both of his revolting parents.

In the meantime? People, please, P L E E Z don't forget who this SpoogeCustard is, and what he's done to the state of Florida, and what his brother and father have done to the US. If you can find it in your heart to elect that worthless wad of hair'nfat, well, hey. It's SO over.

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The Secretary of State is a ...

Harry Shearer has this wonderful radio show on Sundays here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Near the end of his show he records imaginary conversations with famous people -- usually politicians. Today's was Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton. The imaginary conversation was mostly about Bill handing over the list of donors to Obama's team. But near the end of the conversation, imaginary Bill says to Hillary:

"Well, Madeline Albright and Condi Rice were warm-ups. You made it official. The Secretary of State is a woman's job."

I laughed at first because it was something that was kicking around in my noodle. Of course, there is that saying: "Never send a man to do a woman's job." Might be true in this case. Maybe women are better peacemakers. And we desperately need a peaceful planet right now.

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Politics: As Ye Sow

So shall ye reap. As one Sheldon Adelson is finding out, even as we squeak.

Who, you might ask, is Sheldon Adelson. Well, according to the article linked above, he is a 74-year-old billionaire who was once up there with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, the third richest man in the U.S. He was also a dedicated Likudnik hawk who, according to the writer, was very likely to

...capitalize on his ascent to the top of the Republican money elite to try to build opposition in America to any Middle East peace settlement calling for the division of Israel into two states, one Jewish, the other Palestinian.

The two-state solution, as it is popularly termed, has been historically favoured by the majority of people in the affected areas as well as the rest of the world. Apparently, billionaires don't have to respect the will of the people. Apparently.

Because, yaknow, instant karma IS gonna get you. Sooner or later that chair you kicked every time you got mad? It's gonna stub your toe and turn it all purple and maybe even break it. So it is with Mr. Adelson, who has made most of his money in such crime-free enterprises as gambling. Mr. Adelson's holdings in Golden Sands Corp. is what accounts for his phenomenal wealth. And now the company is looking at defaulting on approximately $9 BILLION dollars of debt. Those loans were arranged by such luminaries as Lehman Brothers, Goldman Sachs, and Citigroup, three of the stars in the recent bailout scandal.

La Casa de Los Gatos wonders if any of the taxpayer dollars involved in the bailout will go into Mr. Adelson's pockets? One hopes not. On the plus side, our new President is going to have a decisive say on the staffing of the bailout plan. We believe that he will not put up with any shenanigans.

And for those who are upset over our President's Chief-of-Staff pick, Rahm Emanuel? We're not wild about Emanuel either, but we'd like to draw your attention to a few things.

• Emanuel is an enormously talented person.
  
  
• Emanuel has worked in a boutique brokerage and knows a lot about finance at a very high level.
  
  
• Emanuel is a very efficient and skillful organizer.
  
  
• Emanuel is a pit bull.
  
  He does not take shit from anyone. He does not take "No" for an answer. He is not a person to mess with because he probably will break your legs off and beat you senseless with them if you try. He's the only Democrat we know off who had the big brass balls to openly confront Dick Cheney.
  
  
• A President must be above the fray.
  
  It is not statesmanlike for the President to take partisan positions. He is the President of the WHOLE nation, not any particular interest group.
  
  
• A President must be capable of making unpopular decisions without seeming to do so.
  
  Rahm Emanuel is a perfect Chief of Staff for President Obama. He will be the lightning rod to deflect popular wrath over unpopular decisions. He's not a quitter and he's not intimidated by anyone.

In this time of economic crisis, Emanuel will understand what goes on in negotiations and he will give good advice. He's shown himself to be capable of making hard decisions when necessary.

None of this makes us like him any better, but he's not the President. He's being hired to do a job, and we suspect he is going to do a helluva job.

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2008 Elections: Vote!

Countdown, folks. If you haven't voted, do it now, if you can. If you're voting absentee, remember to photocopy your Presidential ballot choice. For information on what you can do to protect your vote, see this. For information on what you can do to steal back your vote, see this.

Remember that the Republicans stole the vote before, once, possibly twice. They'll be trying again. Do EVERYTHING in your power to ensure that your vote counts. HuffPo has a kinda terrifying look at how McCain might win this election (deity-of-choice forbid). Commenter Bombenhagel has this response, with which we heartily concur:

Be ready for any sign of trouble. Have the numbers of your local media in your celly, as well as 1-866-687-8683 (1-866-OUR-VOTE) or 1-877-GO-CNN-08 to report any problems. Bring your camera to the polling place and get everything on tape. Photograph your ballot before you cast it to document your choice. Bring appropriate ID. It doesn't have to be a driver's license. NO ONE will be looking for parking ticket offenders or deadbeat dads (you really SHOULD pay up) at the polls. No one will try to arrest you for voting. It is your RIGHT. Do NOT accept a "provisional ballot." If your voting machine appears to be "out of calibration," gets pics or video and submit it. Bring a snack or a refreshing beverage to people of all parties waiting in line to vote. Contact at least one person you know who is voting for McCain and make an effort in earnest to reach them. Know their concerns going in so you can address them. Fight With Tools:

http://www.866ourvote.org/state/
http://www.ourvotelive.org/home.php/

http://www.politifact.org/truth-o-meter/attacks/
http://www.factcheck.org/
http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/born_in_the_usa.html
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/common/5/51/BarackObamaCertificationOfLiveBirthHawaii.jpg
http://www.taxpolicycenter.org/
http://www.fightthesmears.com/
http://www.taxcutfacts.org/
http://www.google.com/
http://www.cnnbcvideo.com/
http://www2.bothervoting.org/index.html

To visit the sites listed in his/her comments, copy the URL and paste it to your browser.

So call your family, friends, neighbours, acquaintances, and ask them (calmly and politely) if they've voted yet. Offer to drive them to the polling place or walk their vote-by-mail envelope in for them. Check with your local senior center. Do they need rides to the polling place? Assistance with anything? If you live near a polling place, pick up juice and bottled water, umbrellas, folding stools, whatever you have laying around or can afford, and drive or walk down there. The elderly might need to rest their aching feet. People might be thirsty, or just in need of a friendly word. Regardless of their political persuasion, be there for them. If you can take November 4th off, do. If you work in HR, see if you can persuade the company to give workers the day off, or at least half the day off. Send a few dollars to your candidate, or to their down-ticket party members. Volunteer to GOTV.

This is the most important election of your lifetime. Act like your life depends on it — because it probably does. Depending on who wins, this nation will rise like a phoenix from the ashes or collapse into dissolution.

This is a nonpartisan appeal to all you voters out there. No matter who your preferred candidate is, get in there and write them in if necessary.

La Casa de Los Gatos is committed to Senator Obama, but encourages everyone to vote for their preferred candidate.

ICHC

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2008 Elections: Vote!

And be very careful when you do. Although some of us live in states where we can vote by mail, or vote early, or voting machines come with a printout, others of us do not. If you're concerned about the voting machine correctly recording your vote, please take your video camera, still camera, or cellphone with recording capability to the polls with you. Record what happens. Check your receipt carefully. Request a paper ballot if you can.

Most importantly, watch this:



Remember to protect your right to vote! Your ancestors died so that you could someday determine for yourself who would govern you and how. VOTE!

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2008 Elections: Vote!

And if you run into problems at the voting booth, call 1-866-OUR-VOTE (a nonpartisan hotline set up to help protect our votes). If you want to broadcast the problem(s), if any, to a wide audience, call CNN’s Voter Hotline at 1-877-462-6608. You might want to take a camera, video recorder, or nifty cellphone that can record videos or take photos, in order to record your vote or any problems that you might encounter.

REMINDER: DO NOT wear any campaign buttons, stickers, candidate teeshirts, hats, or any other gear. If you have a button or sticker on your handbag or briefcase, remove it before you take it into the polling station. Depending on where you vote, election officials might attempt to prevent you from voting if you have any campaign-related stuff on or about you.

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2008 Elections: Entertainment!

Dang, if only it was for real:



It is to larf.

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2008 Elections: Telling The Truth

Opie sez it:

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

And so does the Fonz.

Change is on its way! Get out there and VOTE!

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