The Real America haters at lamestream media network MSNBC are demanding that something be done with teen-aged Alaskan baby pooper Bristol Palin so that they don’t have to watch her club footing her way trough their favorite teevee show, Spazzin’ With The D-List, anymore.

Consider the filler-fest the hallmark of week five — too few dancers to fill two hours, too much ad revenue to shrink the running time.

Eventually, all of the “she just needs more confidence” and “he doesn’t know what to do with his hands” gave way to actual live dances — some good, some bad and all better than a bunch of blah blah blah. Heck, after that, even Bristol Palin’s presence in the ballroom was appreciated. Not due to talent or improved form — perish the thought — but simply for the welcome distraction.

And oh, what a distraction the teen mom made. As if Palin’s typical flubbed footwork wasn’t enough to catch the eye, pro partner Mark Ballas came up with the zany idea to dress up in matching ape suits while they jived to “The Monkees” theme song. Allegedly. Doing the twist while aped-out isn’t usually called the jive, but whatever.

Like all Palins, the bar for entry was set embarrassingly low (but not low to a Palin!) with Bristol only having to fog a mirror in week one, get out of a chair in week two, nod her head to the rhythm in week three, snap her fingers (both hands – simultaneously! very hard!) in week four, and then this week her dance partner made her dress up like a monkey because that is how the gays get revenge on people they hate…. outside of cutting your hair an inch shorter than you wanted them to even after you showed them that People magazine cover of Justin Bieber and, fine, whatever, I’ll just wear a hat till it grows out.

Anyway, the scooter-bound who watch amateur talents shows, because Two and A Half Men is too demanding, want Bristol dead or maybe just on The Real Futureless Teen Meth-Moms of Wasilla.

Check your local listings.

Not really… but I don’t live in Kentucky, so what do I know.

But I just wanted to say something really horrible about Rand Paul and I figured that calling Paul a sub-human tent-sniffing camel-rapist would not upset the delicate sensibilities of The New Republic’s Jonathan Chait since it has never stopped Chait from cashing a paycheck signed by his boss Marty Peretz.

Unshaven Welfare King Joe Miller shows Carly Fiorina  the way a real man handles “political questions” by having his private security team grab an uppity reporter, handcuff him, and then forcibly take him to Joe Miller’s Secret Sodomy Basement located under his doublewide  Snow Castle where Joe and Todd Palin took turns “mushing the team” while Sarah Palin looked on and clapped her hands while  giggling with child-like glee.

No. It is true:

This may sound illegal, but you have to remember that The Founders were also allowed to manacle people for the crime of being a reporter or “black” so this is something that Joe Miller will do to escaped slave Barack Obama when he gets his latest government job and moves to Washington.

Also. Too. Mitt Romney approves of this message to reporters.