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Please Dump Me

Please fire me. We haven’t had the Internet for a week.

Please fire me.  The three people near me are loudly arguing about college sports teams, as they have done for 30 minutes every day for the past year.

Please fire me. I have to jack off pure breed American Kennel Club dogs for a dog breeder. 

Please fire me. A low beep has been going off for the past hour and no one can figure out how to turn it off.

Please fire me. Today a property manager asked me three times if the lights in the warehouse worked before he actually looked up to see them all working fine.

PFM HERO OF THE WEEK: Craig Carrick, AT&T Salesman As if he was trying to teach an old dog new tricks, the boss of 56-year-old Craig Carrick whacked Craig on the head with a rolled-up newspaper.  His boss would also bully him during training, finding it irresitible to not mock an old man trying to start a new career, calling him ”the little engine that could”. This was obviously not a nickname Craig enjoyed because he filed a lawsuit citing the Age Discrimination in Employment Act and the Older Workers’ Benefit Protection Act. Good work, Craig. It’s about time somebody sued AT&T for putting workers through those awful sales rep training weeks.  Thank you for taking one for the team. AT&T: Reach Out and Whack Someone.

PFM HERO OF THE WEEK: Craig Carrick, AT&T Salesman

As if he was trying to teach an old dog new tricks, the boss of 56-year-old Craig Carrick whacked Craig on the head with a rolled-up newspaper. 

His boss would also bully him during training, finding it irresitible to not mock an old man trying to start a new career, calling him ”the little engine that could”.

This was obviously not a nickname Craig enjoyed because he filed a lawsuit citing the Age Discrimination in Employment Act and the Older Workers’ Benefit Protection Act.

Good work, Craig. It’s about time somebody sued AT&T for putting workers through those awful sales rep training weeks.  Thank you for taking one for the team. AT&T: Reach Out and Whack Someone.

Please fire me. The ongoing reorganization of our department, which began two years ago, has finally arrived in all our drive directories. All the “old” locations, the locations where we are used to looking for files, now have PDF files that say “The files you are looking for are located in” with the new directory listing.

Please fire me. My late forty-something boss’s hem on her dress is about five inches shorter than my early thirty-something’s skirt. Not wearing pantyhose either. After a day of visiting clients in the professional world of advertising, parading her legs around, she sinks down on the pleather train seat, engrossed in her Blackberry for the inevitable crotch shot. And no, the train did not have bar car (quite unfortunate).

Please fire me.  For the past 12 hours I have been receiving threatening phone calls and text messages from one of my clients.  Does anyone know of any Caseworker Protection Programs?

Please fire me.  The two guys in the next cube over continuously talk about the most mundane details of their lives all day long.  Topics include preferred brands of toilet paper and kitchen-cleaning techniques.