BAD HABIT

No matter what anyone says, there’s no such thing as a perfectly functioning family. You can look from the outside and see a family that reminds you of those from the 1950’s sitcoms like “Leave it to Beaver”. The yard is trimmed perfectly, not a weed or a blade of crabgrass in sight. The house is always clean, children well behaved and polite. Even the dog looks like it just came back from the groomer, smelling fresh as he pants happily with his tail wagging. And then there’s the dad who you see going off to work, brief case in hand and whistling a happy tune.

What you don’t see, however, are the fights that go on between brother and sister, the mom who does her housework grudgingly but hating every minute of it. And the dad who is whistling that happy tune is just trying to hide the fear he has in his gut that his boss will find out that he’s been skimming some money off the company profits to cover the high cost of the rent he’s paying for his girlfriend’s apartment and new car he just bought her. The dog? Ok…it’s a dog and he’s happy because dogs are easy to please.

They may be able to hide their dysfunction from their neighbors but somewhere down the line, the truth comes out that there are problems. Maybe one of the kids get arrested for buying drugs, or the mom runs off with the dog groomer. Maybe the dad is finally caught by his boss and is fired and loses his pension. Any one of the scenarios I mentioned could bring scandal to that household. I’m not saying all that will happen at once, but little by little you will be able to see the cracks in what earlier appeared to be a perfectly functioning family.

Does that mean that the family is doomed? No. The kid who ended up on drugs could go to rehab and find out that his real talent lies in helping others who have fallen just like he did. The mom could find a hobby that would fill her spare time with something she enjoys doing, possibly doing charity work. Who knows, maybe the dad could even realize early on that the girl he’s attracted to isn’t worth ruining his marriage over and he could dump her before he starts stealing from the company. There’s always a chance that not only can the dysfunction be remedied, but it can make them stronger as a family unit.

Where am I going with this? I’m looking at our Church “family” and the current troubles we’re enduring. Looking from the outside, the average person may not understand the complexities of running the “household” called “The Church”. Those who live different lives may often revel in joy when they see a person of the Church household fall from grace. They become even more excited when they find out that there are plenty of others who have been waiting for the chance to point their fingers and scream in delight, “You sinner!” “You hypocrite!”

What they don’t see, however, is that they aren’t any different than those who said the same thing about Jesus and his followers. As Jesus was growing up, He was just another kid in the neighborhood, a great mom, hardworking and nice dad, and He was one of those kids who seemed to excel in his studies of the Torah. But then, as He became older and began His public ministry, He could be found performing miracles and preaching about things that made so much more sense to many about how God really wants us to behave. He changed their views of God from someone to fear to someone who is gentle, kind, and merciful. Needless to say, Jesus became one popular guy and we all know what happens when the light is shining on another human being…the jealousy begins and there’s a whole group of people ready to find that “crack” and take him down.

Now, we fast forward to today, with the constant drumbeat of news stories about the abuse scandals in the Church. Most of these stories have come to light a long time ago in the United States. Since then, the Catholic Church in the United States, thanks to the new policies set out by the then Cardinal Ratzinger and in his newer role as Pope Benedict XVI, they have adopted new ways to prevent anything like that happening again. It’s not fool-proof, but it’s been extremely effective. This didn’t make many of the haters very happy because they were sure that they had the recipe to bring down the entire Church family and run them out of the neighborhood. They made sure that the word “pedophile” was attached to every priest, even though the percentage of priests who committed those crimes was very small. As soon as there was word that there was abuse outside of the United States, in Ireland and throughout Europe, the frenzy in the U.S. began anew. Old cases were brought up in the news again and the New York Times were falling all over themselves putting out as much false information as they could to continue to fan the flames of hatred and bigotry.

And now is where the dysfunction within the “family” of the Church comes into full view. Just like in many nuclear families, there’s a kid, uncle, or cousin who just can’t help but stir up the pot of trouble that’s brewing. They all have their own reasons for doing this, even though in the long run they end up hurting themselves. Some do it out of defiance against the parent, or because they want more power, or just because their moral codes don’t match those of the rest of the family.

The “kids” that I’m talking about in this case of the Church family are the groups of nuns who have been bucking the system for quite a long time. It could be that when they took their vows they had the intention of trying to change the family from within. They weren’t happy with their role as a nun and wanted bigger and better things…they wanted to be priests. Or, they didn’t like the laws of the Church regarding contraception or abortion. They’ve decided that they will do all they can to make abortion available to those who want it, and the best way to do that is to speak out publicly to anyone in the media who will listen, even after being warned by the “papa” (Pope) that this is against Church teaching.

For instance, we have a particular priest who seems to think that he knows better than “dad” in how to get this family running like a top. He does this by writing for rags like the Huffington Post. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he hasn’t figured out that he’s being used by Huff-post to bash the Catholic Church. He hasn’t figured out that they, along with the New York Times and other media outlets are using the victims of the abuse as tools to destroy the Pope…who just so happens to speak out against the abortion industry that is paying good money to get the media to spread their propaganda. He’s very protective of his Sisters who also like the idea of abortion on demand (or as they call it, “women’s health issues).

So, is the Catholic Church a “big fat dysfunctional family”? Nah…well, maybe…kinda…sometimes.  Do we have “dysfunctional family members”? Sure we do. Will those family members destroy our Church? No way, and here’s the reason…because the Church began over 2,000 years ago with a small group of 12 Apostle’s, which grew to dozens and then hundreds of disciples. As time went on, despite being persecuted, imprisoned, tortured in various ways including being thrown to the lions, the Catholic Church is still standing and it’s grown to about 1.1 billion people, worldwide. That’s one big family!!!

A few dysfunctional priests and nuns can’t destroy this family. The U.S. media cannot destroy this family. Our Pope, the leader of our Church, will continue to do his best to keep his family intact, healthy, and functioning the way Christ intended. And even with all those dysfunctional rotten and ungrateful children, our “Papa” in the Vatican still loves them. Although, IMO, a little “tough love” wouldn’t hurt.