Tony Snow: Only the Little People Make Under $168,000

I will start be saying I find Tony Snow, whom the MSM like Tweety say is one "the good guys" and a great person, is one of the most loathsome characters in the entire Bush World of Evil.

Snow is a fucking asshole. He has spent the past year or so defending and spinning and justifying the actions of a bunch of Nazi henchmen --- but alas his term will end on Sept 14. While I really don't wish illness on anyone, Tony's lies and incredible dismissive attitude towards America made me sick

Tony --- you do your hero proud


I find it odd that this incredibly arrogant mouthpiece is leaving smack in the middle of the Patraeus pack of lies. Hate him as I do, Tony is slick and can spin with the best of them --- It is hard to believe that Dana Perino, Ice Queen supreme, will able to even come close to pulling off the same amount of oil and dismissiveness as Tony could. Rats scurrying off the Titanic? Nah


It is all about the Bush/Republican mantra - Money

Tony says he is leaving because he isn't making enough money.

Money makes the world go around

Watching him give his "resignation" speech was a total study in Bushamerica. Frankly it was stunning --- in the midst of the Katrina anniversary, Tony was basically complaining he didn't make enough money -- $168,000 of enough money. And that at his previous job he made more. He also said he had "fun" and "it was a blast" --- yep lying to America, defending an administration that is shredding the Consitution -- yep that is fun -- only that fun isn't paying enough

Talk about a disconnect. Over 98% of America would LOVE to be making $168,000, including me. To belittle a salary that would make millions of people very happy is so incredulous and so-Leona Helmsley.

(who doesnt want to be that dog!)

so a big FUCK YOU to Tony Snow -- go off and make more money --- it doesnt absolve you of your criminal behavior towards the American public. Just makes you a wealthier piece of shit.

Tweety may say you are a "good guy." Personally I think you stink and you still remind me of...

Joanie Dearest

no not that JC ----

Splotchy asked about several celebrity encounters: Encounter #1

Summer 1975, I just graduated High School and I figured I better earn some money. One job was the local one -- delivering pastrami, turkey and probably knishes among other food from the Eppes Essen deli to the incredibly hungry (and usually nasty) people of Essex and Morris counties in NJ. But that was only Friday-Sunday. (it was not a Glatt kosher deli since it was open on Saturdays and served dairy and meat). It was awful. Lousy tips and a car that smelled from a toxic mixture of stuffed derma, pickles and kosher cheese. And I inevitably spilled something all over the rugs -- which never gets clean. So I had to supplement. More for cleaning the car than for college.

Sticking with the manual labor route - the other job was helping a friend's father deliver furniture and antiques when he needed assistance. That actually paid fairly well. One day he called and said can you deliver some paintings to Manhattan. "Sure, why not" - I was already a pro at driving in Manhattan. All I was given for delivery was the name Crawford and the address (if I remember correctly, somewhere in the East 70s or 80s). I drove my little 1973 AMC Hornet into Manhattan (he did pay for the parking and tunnel toll) and up to the building.

Doorman buzzes, says to me -- "take the painting upstairs" (they were two really smally, really ugly paintings, probably costing a small fortune). I go up the elevator, knock on the door - and the door opens. Who appears, a disheveled Joan Crawford -- in a schmotta (as my mother would call it). Tells me to come in with the paintings. And then proceeds to take me all around the living room, asking ME where they should be hung. Meanwhile I probably was thinking -- is this some sort of Baby Jane episode? (Immediately upon seeing her I knew exactly who it was). She then offered me a soda or water, and gave me a $5 bill. She thanked me for bringing up the paintings. I left. And proceeded to drive back to New Jersey. PS -- I didnt see any wire hangers.

Splotchy Interviews Me.....

Splotchy has so kindly interviewed me: While it is not as hard-hitting as Sean Hannity interviewing Ted Kennedy -- his probing manner was incisive enough to get me to spill the beans:

1. From your blog now I know I'm supposed to say "on line" instead of "in line" if I'm in NYC. What are some other ways New Yorkers mangle the English language?

Regular Coffee -- in NY, means with milk, everywhere else means black coffee
In NY its a hero -- else where it is a grinder, a sub, po-boy, or a hoagie
In NJ you go "down the shore" not to the beach
A stoop is a front porch
On accident instead of by accident (a derivative of the line line)
Catty corner is an angle
B&T; - "bridge and tunnel" people -- people who live in the non-Manhattan boroughs of NYC and therefore are not considered cool.

a lot of mispronounced words
Long Island is Lun Guyland
Mother is Muddah
Idea is Idear
Didnt is dint
Should have is shuddah
Water is Wawtuh
and of course Toity Toid and Toid

moving the direct object and verb, for example:
A dozen knishes, you ate!

2. In fifty words or less, make me dislike Barbara Bush (aka Babs the Impaler?) as much as you do.

58 words (on this 2nd anniversary of Katrina)

"Almost everyone I’ve talked to says we're going to move to Houston. What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

'nuff said

one movie as well:
The Omen -- his mother spawns the ______

3. Where can I get a nice knish?

I like all the following
Sarge's - 3rd Ave/37th St
Yonah Shimmel - Houston St.
Knish Nosh - Flushing, Queens
Glatt Zone - Midwood, Brooklyn
Ess A Bagel - 1st Ave/21st St
hell even the 3 for $1 at Jack's 99 cent store on 32nd Street are pretty damn good
The Carnegie Deli has good knishes too --- but that will set you back around $350,000, including the pickles (see question #5)

4. Since you said you met them, now I want details (if you feel like you can share them) -- Paul Reubens (Pee Wee), David Letterman and Joan Crawford.

No problem telling -- they are all long stories and will each get a separate blog over the next few days -- and they are all pretty good if I do say so myself


5. What would $350,000 get me in Manhattan?

Not much -- Perhaps my bathroom with the cracked tile and tacky shower curtain. But it is a decent 'hood, you wouldn't be a B&T; person, it is near 3 of the knish places and with Trader Joe's being catty corner from my building, you won't have to wait on line. Just be careful not to trip over the stoop at the front of the building.

Hey I have a bridge for sale................

His Own Private Idaho

The Larry Craig outing is just another in a long sordid line of Asshole Republican Family Values hypocrites. There are too many to metion - I would run out of computer memory. The arrogance and the hubris of these complete and total liars is simply amazing.

Of course Larry made the cover page of the Idaho Family Values website. I especially like their section aptly titled Bonus Bytes (their words, NOT mine). And Larry looks so innocent!

This is actually so fucking funny -- it would make a great sitcom -- Stalls of Love. Opening scene: Larry sees a Jeff Gannon look alike enter the men's room at MSPI. Larry, feeling the bloating of his rice and beans, enters the bathroom, passes sign on the wall that says "Minneapolis Airport prosecutes litterbugs to the fullest extent of the law" (small picture of Lady Bird Johnson underneath). Larry looks for an empty stall near the shut stall, taking out his latest issue of The Weekly Standard as reading material. Larry drops magazine and oopsie -- kicks it to the stall on (of course) the right. Larry reaches down under the stall to avoid breaking the litter law. You know the mirror scene in Duck Soup -- well we have more comedic history.

Bye Bye Larry -- maybe you can take Jim West (your neighbor from Spokane) and Mark Foley (the one that Fox kept labeling D-Fla) and Reverend Haggard on vacation in Provincetown this Labor Day. They don't have such severe litter laws.

The World's Greatest Television Commercial

While we all know the world's greatest TV commercial was undoubtedly the ad for Nationwide Wakeup, with the tour-de-force performance by one Distributorcap^TM, we also know that bankruptcy and liquidation of the firm put a small dent in their marketing plans. The commercial, like the old bag's dreams of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic, now only reside in the depths of one's memory and the pages of YouTube. (Note to old bag -- only a Bush voter moron would throw a multi-million dollar diamond in the ocean).

But we have found the second greatest!

While the creativity juices (among other kinds) flowed profusely in this ad, the acting leaves something to be desired, as there are only two facial expressions. Note to the adoring cable TV public --- I am NOT, I repeat NOT in this ad --- no how, no way.



I hope Mr. Sad Face got paid extra for letting the world know what was doing in those undershorts.

Manhattan Street Fairs suck

The street fairs of Manhattan suck. Big time. They sell the Same Chinese-made, poison-laden crap every every week, they clog the streets with more traffic (watching the soot poor out of all those buses turning on 14^th St to now go up 1^st Avenue is such a pleasure - are these guys subject to congestion pricing?), and as much as they say they clean up when they leave - they don't. Yesterday was the 3^rd Avenue fair from 14^th to 23^rd Street. I could swear they just had one like two weeks ago - but what do I know, I am officially a member AARP now. So I went for a short walk in the global-warming induced 110% humidity to find the only redeeming things at these fairs --- The Pickle Man and cheap underwear.

This is what i found...

Schlock in front of my building....


Schlock all over 3^rd Avenue....


Didn't these people get the memo -- "Freedom Crepes"


Simpsons underwear but no Hanes


The Absolute^TM Man in a bottle (no free samples), but NO FRIGGIN pickle man


and without a doubt the least attended booth at the 666^th version of the 3^rd Avenue Fair ---

I even hung around this booth for a few minutes to see if ANYONE was willing to get contaminated or have to be de-Nazified when they left. No one showed up. Then the blue shirted SS Waffen leader (seated on the left) came up to me and asked why I was taking a picture of the booth. I told her I wanted proof that fascism was alive in America, even in very-blue Manhattan. She was not amused. But I was.

Vitameatavegamin

If Lucy could do a television commercial, so can distributorcap.



It's so tasty too, just like candy

Well channeling my inner Rula Lenska (who if you read several posts ago was a nobody who hawked Alberto VO5 -- and that was the joke, a nobody pretending to be a somebody, like me), I was cast as the busy executive who didn't want to miss his plane in the memorable commercial for Nationwide Wakeup.

This commercial was done on, shall we say (kindly), the cheap. And being that the star of this Cecil B. DeMille production was not a member of SAG, Equity or AFTRA -- he came cheap (very) as well. Shot in the scenic Bronx, it was rife with urban flavor -- you get a grand tour of elevated subways. (Hint to script writers -- you cannot take a subway to either LaGuardia or Kennedy airports). For the dramatic indoor shots, we used the producer's (a very loose use of that title) house. Sports references abound. I did a tribute to the Hertz and wife-killer OJ Simpson airport commercial - near the #5 train. In the cramped bathroom of the house you will see an homage to Noxema and Broadway Joe Namath.

So why don't you join those thousands of happy peppy people

The "best" part was this commercial played endlessly on cable for more than a year. There was even a Spanish version, so los latinos también no duermen tarde. More than once I would be at a bar watching a Met/Knick game and voila --- there I was for the whole place to see. "Are you duh guy in dat ad?" I was the talk of the town and cheesey sports bars. Fame sure had its benefits. Got me free drinks on more than one occasion. And so I didn't slip into the fame-pratfalls of Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, I could cab home. Remember the paparazzi from Princess Diana -- well one night they chased my cab into the tunnel under Park Avenue. Unlike Di and Dodi, I am here to blog.

But fame has its downside as well -- I was typecast as the busy executive with the fashionista gold chain. So needless to say the commercial career didn't last too long - finding those kind of parts became problematical. They say don't quit your day job -- I didn't.

And alas, Nationwide Wakeup didn't last much longer either. Having spent way too much money on buying commericals on MSG, New York 1 and other assorted channels, the company went belly-up, probably stiffing a boatload of vendors. I for one collected my $100 (there were NO royalties) well ahead of their demise.




Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well, the answer to all your troubles is in this bittle lottle!

yes yes and pass the Vitameatavegamin, I need to wake up

Political donors -- come out of the closet

Want to impress your friends? Brag about how you know that Bette Midler donated $137,000 to politicial causes. Go to Newsmeat and type away - last name, first name

Friends
Slebs
Politicians
they dont have to be famous

will show you who spent on whom/what for the past couple of years -- and how much -- and by candidate.

For Example
Steven Spielberg, big Dem
Tony Danza -- uh oh, Republican
Ann Coulter -- a whopping $250 for Pat Buchanan in 1996 -- cheap bastard.
Bill Gates -- tilts Repub, but only slightly
Jeff Gordomn -- repub

have fun kids

(link should work now -- bad me!)

A Short Diary for a Quick Trip to the Slammer

A very preggers Nicole Richie



spent a whopping 82 minutes in jail for her recent DUI conviction/plea. I have spent more time on the F train going to work --- and that folks, is REALLY a jail.



The same jail as buddy Paris....

so I will make this diary as along as justice was served.
(and PS -- I have never met Nicole, Paris, Brittney or Lindsay)

I So Hate Bill Kristol

I will make this short --- since I am currently watching this asshole and don't have the exact words of uber-Liar Bill Kristol. I will put up the video later. When Kristol talks it reminds me of the singing anus from Pink Flamingos.

He is on the Today Show being interviewed by Matt Lauer regarding all the "fun" in Iraq. Of course ever fucking word out of Kristol's mouth is a big fat fucking lie.

Some of the highlights for those that cannot stomach watching the MSM allow neocons and other idiots to keep enabling the idiot-in-charge:

1. Basically calls John Warner marginal -- and a phony -- because he wants troops home will continue to support the president no matter what (which is probably true)

2. Said the september revolt by the Congress is already a failure

3. Keeps EMPHASIZING that the surge is working

4. Says the recent releases NIE is being mis-interpreted that it really does say things are going well

5. Just got back from Iraq and saw the great progress being made in Anbar and Baghdad

6. Says there is definitely political progress being made

7. Says the president should demand and get another SIX MONTHS to make this work.
Yep, he is saying we need ONE MORE FRIEDMAN UNIT!!!!!!!!!!! ( A FU is six months, based on Thomas Friedman's constantly asking for six more months to make things work in Iraq)

It was fucking nauseating -- Matt barely challenged him (he did to a small extent on the NIE report, but it was a lame attempt). and of course there is NO BALANCE from the other side - zippo

You expect this crap-ola from Kristol and neo-Cons. But it doesnt make it any less nauseating and disgusting.

Bill, if Baghdad is so secure why don't take you and your family and your recently wed daughter and move there --- and become pioneers, get in on the Real Estate boom on the Tigris. I am SO embarrassed that this complete and total piece of shit is a fellow member of the tribe. Can we vote him off the reservation and seder table? And he from the ultra-Liberal Upper West Side of Manhattan (I know his father is that other idiot-Conservative Irving Kristol).

Plus -- isn't Kristol short - I hope so, and I hope he has a microscopic dick.

This is cross posted at Daily Kos
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/8/24/71227/9344

I am SO not star struck

the death of Leona was very hard on me --- after all i am one of the little people who pay taxes -- it got me thinking about all the big people i have met over the course of a lifetime of taxes.......

working in the "entertainment" (and i use that word very very loosely) field i have get to meet plenty of "famous" people --- how lucky am i?

and i can tell you
they pee like we do
they tie their shoes like we do
but unfortunately most of them do have one bit of humility like we do

here are some of the "famous" people i have met - and chatted with, most have been so unmemorable i cant even remember meeting them
(in no particular order)

Caroline Kennedy
Leslie Ann Warren
David Letterman
Nicolette Sheridan
Jane Wyman
Mariette Hartley
Annie Potts
Ed Koch
Kareen Abdul Jabbar
Judge Judy
Oprah
Nancy Reagan (yuk, i almost didnt want to)
Barbara Walters
Dan Rather
Candace Bergen
Debbie Reynolds
Mama Cass (ok i was 10)
John Lennon
Nick Lachay
Joan Crawford
Barbara Streisand
Dustin Hoffman
Chris Evert
Mark Wahlberg
Delta Burke
Pee Wee Herman
Elizabeth Taylor
Morgan Fairchild
Martha Stewart
Marlo Thomas
Robert Redford
Burgess Meredith
Burt Reynolds
Howard Stern
Sarah Jessica Parker
Julianne Moore
Scott Hamilton
Susan Sarandon
Pat Sajak
Connie Chung
Matthew McConnaughy
Maury Povich
Meredith Vieira

I would imagine very few of them would include me on their list of unknown little people they have met --- just another useless observation


a very young distributorcap with a very large Oprah, 1987

Another reason why I hate professional athletes

New York Knick player Stephon Marbury decided to chime in on the Michael Vick situation.

very bad idea

Stephon Marbury is interviewed on Channel 9 from Albany, New York. There is video of him talking about Vick and dog fighting.

full story from
'Capital Nine News'

So here we go again -- another asshole pampered athlete opening his/her mouth and inserting his foot -- or rather tail.

Animal abuse and dog fighting is disgusting, horrid and well --- you know what I am thinking.

While promoting his own basketball shoe Monday, Marbury spoke on the situation:

"I think it's tough. I think, you know, we don't say anything about people who shoot deer or shoot other animals. You know, from what I hear, dog fighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors.

As bad as Vick is (and whatever punishment they give him it is NOT enough) -- Marbury is just as bad and should be thrown off the Knicks. Brad Shear of the Hudson Valley Humane Society said:

"I think what he said just reflects a lack of education."

are you kidding? Lack of education -- how about lack of respect, humanity and love of attention.

If the Knick Organization, owned by the Dolan family and Cablevision Systems had any humanity in them -- they would give Marbury his walking papers. Don't hold your breath. This is a star athlete that is held to different standards.

And worse, he says this while promoting his fucking shoes --- some role model Stephon. Yes kiddies, wear my $150 sneakers and torture your pets while you are at.

Eat Shit Marbury

I for one don't go to Knick games (or any team -- I refuse to give one nickel to multi-million dollar athletes that do nothing but look down on the rest of the world).

Watch this situation complete pass over -- if anyone has anything they should want to say to the Dolan family:

Charles Dolan
Cablevision Systems Corp.
1111 Stewart Avenue
Bethpage, NY 11714

let Chuck know that what Marbury said is not acceptable, I sure have

Cross posted at Daily Kos

George is a trooper

sorry it took a day to post this -- it was crazy yesterday between work and going back and forth to the Animal Medical Center to get George

well George made it through the surgery --- probably better than most of us would have. Turns out he had Feline odontoclastic resorptive lesions (FORL) --- on almost all of his teeth. These are usually very painful "cavities" that just appear and develop over time -- the vet assured me i was not a bad dad, that they dont know why this happens. Most cats (up to 75%) get these -- and it is common, just not on all teeth.

The best remedy was to extract all his teeth -- so my guy is now official part of the dentuware generation without dentures. The vet (and this was a great vet -- what a nice gentle guy and spent a lot of time with me) assured me he will be a lot better once the healing process was complete. No more pain when he eats.

I brought him home and i could see he was distressed and exhausted. He was walking like he was drunk. It was the anaesthesia wearing off. He has to wear a Fentanyl patch (for transdermal drug absorption) on his rear leg to manage the pain for a few days -- boy he doesnt like that -- but it beats the pain.

He also ate like a king last night -- a whole can of food -- he usually doesnt get 1/2 way through one. But he is obviously not used to his new mouth as he made a complete mess all over his face and the floor. So I wipe and hold him --- and he seems like he will be fine --- but i think he is a bit mad at me

thanks for ALL your well wishes -- i meant a lot --- and George thanks you too. He looks tired and worn -- but a few days of rest and eating like a king will do him wonders.

I feel much better now!

The Good George

So my little guy heads to the Animal Medical Center tomorrow for surgery. He has some pretty severe abscesses on some of his lower teeth -- which means they have extracted. I can't say I am not nervous. This will be 2-3 three hours of surgery. And he will be in some pain afterwards as he heels. But the vet assures me he will be fine and that when he finally does heel -- he will feel so much better. After all this George is not an eater -- he weighs 8-9 lbs and I virtually have to do handstands to get him to eat sometimes. Maybe now he will find the joy in eating California Natural Deep Sea Fish and Wellness Chicken & Lobster --- only the best for this George.

But unlike the bad George, this George is brave, smart and lovable. I am so sure he knows something is up for tomorrow ---- he left me a nice present when i got back from the gym today. Remember what dad George did to the Japanese ambassador on the plane --- well think the same thing.

This cat is no ordinary cat -- but every pet owner says that --- he definitely thinks he is a dog (except for the eating) and is really attached to me. And do i love this little cat.

So like the nervous parent --- wish George well. I'll report back on his recovery.

Eight Days A Week

Taking a cue from I, Splotchy, I couldnt get songs out of my head this morning. Unfortunately since my taste in music ended somwhere around the time of the Captain and Tennille....the best i could come up with is

Eight Days A Week...
Monday - Monday, Monday - The Mamas and the Papas
Tuesday - Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday - The Rolling Stones
Wednesday - Wednesday Morning 3 A.M. - Simon & Garfunkel
Thursday - Suite Thursday - Duke Ellington
Friday - Friday On My Mind - The Easy Beats
Saturday - Saturday Night's Alright For Fightin' - Elton John
Sunday - Sunday Will Never Be The Same - Spanky and Our Gang


One of the best things about YouTube is one gets to re-live their entire childhood over...Now does it get anymore 60s than this


the haircuts, the moustaches, the set, and WTF was Justin Hayward thinking with those pants and that hair

or this

This SO reminds me of Mrs Kerner's pre-Bar Mitzvah dance classes

or one of my favorite clips from the 60s

Batman sure had it made.......

Awards..

Many many thanks to Divine Democrat, who inspired me....and acknowledged me.......

I would also like to thank my Piano teacher.........because she liked me, she really liked me --- and she looked exactly like...



(i actually remember Cloris Leachman thanking her piano teacher when she won an Oscar^® --- how pathetic am i???)

So one good turn deserves another, and being relatively new to the blogging world.....i would like give this award to some well deserving fellow authors. while i have only seen the tip of the iceberg with creative blogs ----- with global warming that iceberg will be total visible soon. And following the requirement to pass it along to five deserving smaller blogs. Here are my choices for the Partisan Reflection on Pissant Provocteurs Award for 8/18/07




in no particular order....

Zaius Nation
Mock Paper Scisscors
Fran I Am
Here Comes Johnny Yen Again
Sorghum Crow's General Store

and for all the others (and there are many) that make me laugh, cry, get angry, get going and keep me awake way too late at night

a big thanks --- i am sure there will be a time soon enough to honor you all. and just think -- we all get honored on 1/20/09

Mark Williams, another right wing idiot - How did i sit through this?

I promised myself I would boycott Hardball after Chris Matthews said that (and i paraphrase) Barack Obama's name - Barack HUSSEIN Obama gave him insight to the Islamic community. Yes his name alone is enough.....

But alas I didnt boycott -- I left it on as background noise. And man, there was sure some noise last night. The discussion centered around the White House writing the Patraeus report.

I never heard of Mark Williams before last night. He is a radio talk show host in Sacramento and a columnist for the Sacramento Union newspaper. If i am not mistaken I believe Rush did time at KFBK in Sacramento (gee thanks Sacramento for 2 blowhards)

Mark Williams is insane. Apparently he is known for 'tussling' with people and reporters.

Watch the video - he goes off on the Democrats -- blaming them for the debacle in Iraq, calls Nancy Pelosi - Nancy Botox and just profilgates lie after lie after lie. While Matthews tries to call him on his shit, Mark just keeps rambling on. He does make an ass of himself, but again -- what the f*** is Matthews thinking by putting someone like him on? You don't get a good argument about the Patraeus report - no matter what you believe. All you hear is how Democrats are bad, the troops hate the Democrats and that Nancy Pelosi uses botox (i could go on about Laura....)

watch the video...it speaks for itself. Another Malkkkin, Coulter, Limbaugh, Hannity to add to the list

File this under - Who friggin cares?

Bush's daughter, Jenna, engaged

Jenna Bush, one of President Bush's twin daughters, is engaged to be married to her longtime boyfriend, Henry Hager, the White House announced Thursday.

Hager, who has been a White House aide and worked on Bush's re-election campaign, is the son of John and Maggie Hager of Richmond, Va. His father is chairman of the Republican Party in Virginia, former assistant secretary of the Education Department's office of special education, former lieutenant governor of Virginia and former director of Virginia's Office of Commonwealth Preparedness.

May she have a very very very miserable life, just like the misery her father has unleashed on this planet.

May I suggest a wedding in Basra....with the Iranian Guard in attendance. Also Babs The Impaler, the proud machatainisteh, can now use her beautiful mind to plan this extravaganza.

We Owe Everything to Rula Lenska

Where would we be without Rula Lenska? This icon, this standard-bearer, this symbol of conspicuous consumption. Rula we thank you.

The Countess Roza-Marie Leopoldyna Lubienska was born in England to Major Count Ludwik Maria Lubienski and Countess Elzbieta Tyszkiewicz. Other than Zbigniew Brzezinski (from the Carter Administration) and Tadeusz Kościuszko (who has a very famous traffic-clogged bridge named after him in Brooklyn) not many people have been able to cash in on fame with so few vowels. Upon venturing into acting -- someone suggested to Roza-Marie that a name change to Rula Lenska might be wise -- I bet it didn't take a lot of arm twisting to convince her to switch. Too bad we don't get stuck on the Tad Cuckoo bridge, it would save the traffic reporters some major lingo embarrassments. And further, what is a Roza-Marie Leopoldyna Lubienska doing being born in England? Shouldn't she be Mary Smith?



In the late 70s and early 80s, Roza-Marie Leopoldyna Lubienska became famous in the United States for hawking Alberto VO5 on television. However shilling hair grease as Roza-Marie Leopoldyna Lubienska wasn't gonna cut it. So she would start her commercials as "I'm Rula Lenska. Friends from America are coming over". People assumed this chick was famous -- but alas, she wasn't. But Americans, being so fucking gullible (see Bush, George election of...) and total suckers for a ANY celebrity (see Spears, Britney 'white trash') -- fell for it hook, line, and grease comb. So Rula Lenska became THE icon of American television in the 1980s. Rula was now famous --- famous for pretending to be famous. Welcome to America 2007.



But phoniness has its limitations (see Working in Iraq, Surge) The revelation that Rula was really a nobody eventually led to ridicule and the demise of her commercial 'starring roles.' Alberto VO5 had to find a new grease monkey.

Rula was ahead of her time. Without her we would have never had Paris Hilton -- famous for doing nothing, except being famous and skipping jail. I have no knowledge of Rula going to jail, but Paris should be kissing Rula.

Then there is Mittens. Where would he be without Rula? C'mon think about it -- Rula sold a lot of Alberto VO5, the gunk and hairspray that made your hair crinkle when you touched it. You know the stuff that easily blew a hole in the ozone layer. Mitt , being a Ken doll without any genitalia, obviously fell for the Rula ruse --- and invested heavily in Alberto-Culver. And he still hasn't used his lifetime supply of VO5



As for Mittens --- I noticed the other day, down the block from my apartment, in front of the Con Ed building -- that the employees were paying homage to you.



So hats off to Rula, we'll always have Paris, and grease is the word when it comes to Mittens

Demeaning as a pair of Mittens

One thing about that old gang of ours -- the GOP candidates -- diversity is not a word one would use. You know the candidate pool that has three members that DON'T believe in evolution. You know, the ones that think the Moon was created 6,000 years ago. You know the ones that have no idea how to do the google on the tubes that make up the internets

But are they seeing the light???

Republican candidates were balking at following their Democratic counterparts into a debate format in which CNN asked questions submitted by citizens via YouTube. The 9/17/07 date has been scrapped, but the event has found a new home on the calendar: 11/28/07. At the beginning of the flap, John McCain (R-AZ) and Ron Paul (R-TX) quickly agreed to appear in the event, but others, including Rudy Giuliani (R-NY) and Mitt Romney (R-MA), were among those unwilling to commit. In Giuliani's case, scheduling conflicts were cited as the source of his reluctance to participate, and his campaign has agreed to the new debate. Romney was not comfortable with the format, calling it "demeaning," and has still not yet agreed to take part in the event.

I love it -- scheduling conflicts? Just like the dog ate my homework. What fucking conflicts Rudy? Your $100,000 speeches? Judy's hair appointment? Group therapy with you kids? or perhaps a press conference to announce your leaving Donna? -- oopsie been there, done that.

But as for Mittens....demeaning??????????????????????????? WTF
Tying a dog to the roof of a car isnt demeaning? Comparing your chicken-shit family going around Iowa in a van to get you votes to the soldiers in Iraq isnt demeaning? Saying you perhaps "pandered" to get votes in uber-liberal Massachusetts isn't demeaning. No genitalia-free Ken, and your Barbie-giving-money-to-Planned-Parenthood-wife are SO above the fray, so better than all of us. Answering a question from a snowman or a dancing IUD is something you would never consider. Hey you spent $2 million to get 14,000 votes in Iowa so you would have something to brag about.

Mittens --- how does someone like you with no balls ever get five sons?

PS - Does anyone really believe that KKKarl Rove really left because Josh Bolten told him he would have to stay through the end of this apocalypse? Even more funny is the straight face Tweety and Buchanan blurt out that Brown 25 (see earlier post)

Brown 25

One of my closest friends from High School drives up to New York today from Maryland to show her daughter NYU and Columbia (smart kid). I being the amiable New Yorker say --- why don't I take you guys to lunch. and I being the incredibly cheap New Yorker say --- lets go to my company's cafeteria. Since I only had 30 minutes and I was gonna spend the entire lunch giving them explicit subway instructions (I offered to pay for the cab, they wanted to experience the real NY -- I said cabs are real NY, now that they have monitors in them that play commercials for every store you should hit in NY, and they take credit cards).

So we are waiting on line (remember this is NY, on-line, NOT in-line) for the self-serve frozen yogurt. It is the same yogurt they serve at Bloomingdale's (hey its a classy cafeteria) which was rated best frozen yogurt in New York. I like the plain -- a little tart, a little sweet, a lot good

What the sign said was chocolate. However the machine must have been on the blink. Because when I saw the output from the yogurt machine all I could do was harken back to a 1974 movie we both saw together.......bear with it......



I know you all let out a collective ewwwwwwww......but we are all adults. If the Groove Tube thought this was art, who am I to criticize --- But more important, now you know where I learned my fart jokes from...

Before there was Studio 54

There was P.S. 221 in Douglaston, Queens. Who knew a kindergarten dance in 1962 would be a precursor to the drug hazed days of 1977. (Warning - my father is NO Steven Spielberg or even Ed Wood).

A very young distributorcap shows off the moves that would later be copied by Truman, Bianca, Liza, Warren, Farrah, Diane, and Mikhail.

While my moves were perfect, the fashion angle needed a lot of work. Notice the gray pants, dark jacket with white buttons --- no Halston at this Studio 221. And my disco-lite partner -- since I haven't seen her since 1962, there is a good chance that getting stuck with me probably meant she ended up as a Republican. I do that to tiara-ed 5 year olds. But do notice my gentlemanly bow towards the end - very Prince Charles.

Who knew Baked Beans could be creepy?

Can anyone seriously pick up a can of these anymore?


I would imagine there might be some statistical test (like a Chi-squared or T-test, or rather an F-U test) between Bush's Baked Beans sales and Chimpy's popularity. There has to be a direct correlation.

So I ventured to the Bush's Baked Beans website --- I had to see for myself what a company with the same name as the worst human ever would do to dissociate itself from such garbage. Boy did I get a gasbag-ful.

I bet NONE of you knew that Bush's Baked Beans is right up there with Apollo 11 in historical significance. From the Bush's Baked Beans Corporate website:

1969 United States astronauts set foot on the moon, and the Woodstock music festival takes place in New York State. Another historic event takes place when Bush's decides to share the delicious flavor of their secret family recipe baked beans with the rest of the country by launching Bush's Original Baked Beans.

and folks, we thought Tang was taken to the moon, WRONG - it was Bush's Baked Beans -- with no Saudi oil on the moon, something had to supply gas to lift the Eagle back to the command module - why not Neil and Buzz after eating Bush's Baked Beans? Also it is kind of creepy thinking it was really Country Joe and the Beans at Woodstock.

how about this factoid

1993 "Schindler's List" drives millions to the box office. Bush's Baked Beans distribution expands into the Northeast, and Bush launches a new Baked Beans recipe...Homestyle. Also, Jay Bush becomes the spokesperson for Bush's Baked Beans, kicking off a regional ad campaign.

Comparing themselves to Schindler's List! Are they fucking crazy? What kind of regional ad campaign could they possibly have? "Even the SS loved beans" or "Our ovens - Auschwitz tested" This company is way too creepy for me - no wonder it is named Bush.

and now the pièce de résistance

2001 Former Texas Governor George W. Bush becomes U.S. president, and Bush's Baked Beans introduces Country Style Baked Beans, proving the new prez isn't the only Bush with "Country Style."

Little did we know there was brush inside every can of Bush's Baked Beans - Mission Accomplished. The creep-ola-meter is registering red red red.....

no matter what the Bush's Baked Beans people do they cannot stop nature.......this is what happens when one eats Bush's Baked Beans OR walks too close to a Bush

I can't feel sorry for Colin.....he chose to become part of the Bush cabal --- deal with his farts

Turning 50 is Hard Work

So tomorrow i enter "the new 30"

the hardest part will be having to have to push the 5 button first for age? when you sign onto the stair master or treadmill at the gym --- you know the machines that allegedly measure the amount of calories you are burning based on your weight and age --- the two things people lie most about (except for getting laid, how much you earn and voting for bush -- " i didnt vote for him!"). Also if I burned as many calories as the machine tells me, I would weigh 120 by now. Hard work you know.

It is not that i don't want to turn 50, their aint much choice.

after all with the golden years ahead I have plenty to look forward to...

1. Bush will still be president until i am 51, 5 months 9 days.
2. By the time i hit 62 (or for full amount 66 and 7 months) Bush will make sure the social security system has been completely spent achieving victory in Iraq.
3. I could get to see Jeb, Pierce, George P or even Jenna/not-Jenna become president in my lifetime.
4. I can make a trek to the Bush library in Texas to see the "original" My Pet Goat.
5. Picking up brush does get a bit more cumbersome (oy my aching back) after 50 -- i could hire an illegal to do that for me. (we have a lot of brush in Manhattan)
6. Babs the Impaler is not my mother

So far no cards from the 'rents or friends -- just 2 offers to join AARP, more solicitations from charities I never heard of, and another bill from the New York Sun -- that rightwing rag that is dropped off at my doorstep every morning -- the one I never asked for (or ever would, despite the fact it makes great dog shit picker-upper). The cat left me a present this morning -- a large hairball and all its assorted goo -- but you know, I still love that cat.

I think the office is planning a cake. Probably with a picture of Laura on it -- they know how much I idolize her.

I think i feel pretty good for 50, (snark to fucking Bush). since living in Deciderworld is hard work. But alas "our" (a term used very loosely) -fearless- dear leader has not aged well. I chronicled his descent (I wish into madness, but he is already there -- just into his golden years) (see my post on The Picture of Dorian George), and man, is there schadenfreude in that or what?

I feel fortunate turning 50 in a country like this. I will feel more fortunate when all of us who turn 50, 60, 30, 90, 22 or whatever age can go back to enjoying what this country is really about. So insteading of celebrating my 1/2 century mark --- we can wait and celebrate President McDoodyPants' 62 years, 6 months and 14 day birthday.

But who's counting anyway.

Off to some margaritas......

What kind of fart is Condi cutting?

karenzipdrive, comments over at Princess Sparklepony
that Condi, in her latest irrelevant photo op, is actually farting while standing (as only the Condibot can do) and that the Japanese minister is so bravely holding back her reaction

my question
is it a sasafrass cherry fart?
or is it a magnatoid gumbo fart?
does Condi catch the bubbles of her farts in the bathtub?

Inquiring minds want to know


no farting is allowed near Japanese government officials

only vomiting is permitted

Trader Joe's

It sure is convenient living less than 20 yards from Trader Joe's. It is located on 14th Street just west of 3rd Avenue, while I am located on 15th Street just west of 3rd Avenue. A hop skip and a jump.



Problem is this might be the busiest store on the Planet Earth. Even busier than the supply store in Crawford, Texas. You cannot go there after 4pm on any day. You cannot go there on Saturday or Sunday. You have limited hours. Well you can go if you don't mind waiting on a line that after you do your shopping inside -- you have to go outside to wait. It winds around the store like the snakes in Barbara Bush's Medusa's hair.

Trader Joe's has the best coffee, the best rice pudding, great pizza dough, and other good stuff. And it has about the best prices in Manhattan. It also has three buck chuck (which everywhere else is two buck chuck - hey this Manhattan)



It has also has the added advantage that while you wait on line (yes folks it is ON LINE in New York, while it is IN LINE everywhere else) you can listen to some entertaining conversations. Today the two women in front me for this potential 25 minute test of patience were discussing the decider.

This is Manhattan where 85% of all registered voters are Democrats. How could I be behind two women (probably early 40's) who thought Bush was a good president. They just couldnt figure out why a man of such principle was SO hated. Granted all he has attempted has quite worked out as planned, but Woman A thought principles, conviction and resilience were more important than trail of mistakes. Woman B agreed - and said that several of her friends don't talk to her because of her political slant and unyielding support of Bush.

So I, not one to sit idle during such bullshit, tapped Woman A on the shoulder, asked her to hold my lettuce, rice pudding, bread and half/half while I ran to get another item. She said sure. Gave her the items and I walked out of the store. I had lost the urge to wait on line.

Maybe tomorrow it will be a blue Trader Joe's -- and less crowded

As Dead as the Dodo

The dodo is one well known bird. It was a flightless bird that lived on the islands of Mauritius in the Indian Ocean. The dodo's claim to fame is two-fold -- it has been extinct since the mid 1600's and the dodo is used as any example of something or someone pretty stupid.

Related to pigeons and doves, it stood about three feet tall, lived on fruit and nested on the ground. Based on paintings (since no one alive has seen a dodo), it was one ugly bird.

From Wikipedia:

As with many animals evolving in isolation from significant predators, the dodo was entirely fearless of people, and this, in combination with its flightlessness, made it easy prey. But journals are full of reports regarding the bad taste and tough meat of the dodo, while other local species such as the Red Rail were praised for their taste. It is commonly believed that the Malay sailors held the bird in high regard and killed them only to make head dressings used in religious ceremonies.

However, when humans first arrived on Mauritius, they also brought with them other animals that had not existed on the island before, including dogs, pigs, cats, rats, and Crab-eating Macaques, which plundered the dodo nests, while humans destroyed the forests where the birds made their homes; currently, the impact these animals — especially the pigs and macaques — had on the dodo population is considered to have been more severe than that of hunting.

Although there are scattered reports of mass killings of dodos for provisioning of ships, archaeological investigations have hitherto found scant evidence of human predation on these birds. Some bones of at least two dodos were found in caves at Baie du Cap which were used as shelters by fugitive slaves and convicts in the 17th century, but due to their isolation in high, broken terrain were not easily accessible to dodos naturally.

There is some controversy surrounding the extinction date of the dodo. Roberts & Solow state that "the extinction of the Dodo is commonly dated to the last confirmed sighting in 1662, reported by shipwrecked mariner Volkert Evertsz", but many other sources suggest the more conjectural date 1681. Considering more circumstantial evidence such as travellers' reports and the lack of good reports after 1689, it is likely that the dodo became extinct before 1700; thus, the last Dodo died barely more than a century after the species' discovery in 1581.

Man, we killed them off fast

So my point....The dodo's significance as one of the best-known extinct animals, its strange looking appearance, and its reference to stupidity --- I vote that the dodo, the lovable dodo, should be symbolic a concept or object that will or has become out of date --- George W. Bush.



(switched at birth????)

I stated above that no one alive has ever seen a dodo -- I lied, 6 billion people have seen a dodo. There will be NOTHING better than this man when he has "gone the way of the dodo"

The Results of Peeing in the Gene Pool

Babs the Impaler and Laura "Queen of Vehicular Manslaughter" strategically covering their balls
Kid with crooked Sparklepony tie
Neil - spreading those legs

and of course....what other kind of person other than a complete douche would wear Presidential seal boot buckles

The Picture of Dorian George

Dontcha just love it.....global warming takes its toll

After all being president is hard work --- maybe you should borrow some of Pickles or Melanie Morgan's botox







man does he look like shit.......
8-)

Post Meridian Schtupping

This song (see video) ACTUALLY won TWO Grammy Awards in 1977 - Best Arrangement and Best New Act. (Then again, the Grammy for Song of the Year that year was I Write The Songs - tells you something about the quality of music in the 1970s). CBS couldn't resist -- The Starland Vocal Band (SVB* to us aficianados) hosted a variety show that ran in the summer of 1977. I am sure I sat glued to the set, since with no DVR, no TIVO and even no VCR (still 2 years off in the distributorcap abode) you had to watch your fill of vapid television when the networks forced you to watch their vapidity. Today you get to time shift the crap-ola.

worst.song.ever


be careful what you write, sing and record. very careful

For worst ever, one can make good cases for
You Light Up My Life
I've Never Been To Me
Torn Between Two Lovers
and
The Macarena

but a song to God, a song about a selfish bimbo, a song about a deranged schizophrenic and a song about two talentless men moving their hands really don't stand a chance against a song about post meridien schtupping.

PS --- I bet Condi could use a little AD, and I don't mean Anno Domini

*My other favorite 70's musical shortcut is VSR -- Vicki Sue Robinson, who gave us the drekky Turn The Beat Around in 1975

Of Mushroom Clouds, Hiroshima and Princess Ferragamo - August 6th

Today is 62 years since the US dropped the first atomic weapon ("Little Boy") used in warfare on Hiroshima. With no response from the Japanese government, the US dropped another bomb ("Fat Man") on Nagasaki three days later.



The Japanese surrendered on August 15th (V-J Day) and the end of war was officially signed September 2, 1945 aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay.

Truman decided to drop the bomb rather than go for all the all out invasion of Japan and the hundreds of thousands of American (and Japanese) deaths that would ensue from this battle.

Of course Truman's decision forever changed the planet. And the attack and aftermath has been chronicled hundreds of times in books, movies, memorials and other means.

While Hiroshima has rebuilt, and the Japanese have prospered, the anniversary of this day reminds us that the psychological damage remains. More nations have bombs -- France, Britain, China, Russia, Pakistan, India - that we KNOW of. Others like Iran, Israel, South Africa (with a mysterious explosion in 1979), North Korea may have or would like to have. It is a dangerous "toy." We should and are required to never forget what this all means -- and how it could all end up.







It also another very somber anniversary. One that if notice was taken may have prevented another anniversary from happening in 36 days.

August 6 is the six-year anniversary of the Presidential Daily Briefing (PDB) entitled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US." See Harriet show George.



Special thanks to Blue Gal for reminding me (and us) of this shameful day in American Presidential history

http://bgalrstate.blogspot.com/

Just think of how different we would be if Bush and Condi had heeded the warning and not been SO dismissive:

from the testimony at the 9/11 commission

RICE: You said, did it not warn of attacks. It did not warn of attacks inside the United States. It was historical information based on old reporting. There was no new threat information. And it did not, in fact, warn of any coming attacks inside the United States.

yes Condi, who'd a thought they would crash planes into buildings or that a smoking gun would be a mushroom cloud or whatever fucking other nonsense pours out of that mouth of yours.

just think -- they were re-elected and promoted after leaving another "mushroom cloud" on the planet on August 6.

August 6 - a day that does live in infamy

With All Deference to the Beatles

i love the Beatles
i loathe George W. Bush

they definitely don't belong together --- but I could not help myself...
from my YouTube account

London Bridge is Falling Down

The Brits are smart, they sold their ancient, decrepit bridge to the fine folks in Lake Havasu, Arizona rather than let it fall into the Thames.

On April 18 1968, John Rennie's London bridge, which was dedicated in 1831, was sold to the American entrepreneur Robert P. McCulloch of McCulloch Oil for $2,460,000. The bridge was reconstructed at Lake Havasu City, Arizona and re-dedicated on October 10, 1971. The reconstruction of Rennie's London Bridge spans a man-made canal that leads from Lake Havasu to Thomson Bay, and forms the centrepiece of a theme park in English style, complete with mock-Tudor shopping mall. Rennie's London Bridge has become Arizona's second-biggest tourist attraction, after the Grand Canyon.

Not the nicest designed bridge --- And pretty tacky...a pseudo-Tudor village in Arizona. The only thing tackier is South of the Border in Dillon, SC. The bridge was a mere bargain at $2.5 million. You can't paint a lane line for that amount today.

I am beginning to feel as creeky as all these bridges --- so here is 25 years of bridges in St. James Park

George Bush - burying the lead

In his weekly radio address, tape Friday and released before the trip, Bush said: "This is a difficult time for the community in Minneapolis, but the people there are decent and resilient, and they will get through these painful hours."

what he really WANTED to say

In his weekly radio address, tape Friday and released before the trip, Bush said: "This is a difficult time for the community in Minneapolis, but the people there are decent and resilient and white, and they will get through these painful hours."


Bush greets America after another disaster....in his own unique style

Under Shelley Winter's Ass

The Poseidon Adventure has to be one of the all time great bad movies. This is one you really could "sink" your teeth into (or "flip" your wig over).

And not the crappy sequel Beyond the Poseidon Adventure with a slumming Sally Field (funny how that Beyond movie was a sequel, but Beyond the Valley of the Dolls - was NOT a sequel to VOTD - hey its liberal commie pinko Hollywood, what do they know?) or the piece of drek remake with Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss --- you have to go for the gold with the original 1972 stink-bomb, replete with hot pants, upside Christmas Trees and some of the cheesiest dialogue ever written. So picture this – a bunch of family members from the distributorcap-clan head to the movies on Lincoln Road in Miami Beach to catch the 8P showing of The Poseidon Adventure - THE movie event of 1972. All this from the master of science fiction schlock – Irwin Allen (we will cover Voyage To The Bottom of the Sea and Joan Fontaine’s homage to Jaws by being dinner for sharks in another treatise).

Where does one start with badness. Well there is the Bush administration, but that is a whole other discussion. Then there is the infrastructure situation in the US – steam pipes, bridges, overloaded air traffic control, crumbling schools – more other for other discussions and smarter bloggers. We will just stick to Pamela Sue Martin and hot pants.

The movie starts off relatively safe, as hundreds of cardboard characters on huge ocean liner in the Mediterranean prepare for the big New Year’s Eve shindig. This is a special holiday, as Carol Lynley gets to sing The Morning After --- a future Oscar-winning ditty and member of the all-time bad song club. The fun doesn’t begin until the captain (Leslie Nielsen of all people) spots a gigantic tidal wave heading towards him --- which of course it is too late to get out of the way. I know there was no GPS back in 1972 -- but there were still weather satellites, and, something tells me that are not a lot of tidal waves in the Mediterranean. But what do I know, I am just a purveyor of fine cinema.



The boat flips (just like what Bush has done to this country) and madness ensues (again what Bush....). All the New Year’s Eve revelers start sliding and hanging from “attached” tables. How convenient the tables are nailed to the floor. People scramble, listen to a purser who has no idea what he is talking about and lots of extras get to use their Lee Strasberg acting skills in treating the ketchup-stained injured. But here is where the real "adventure" begins --- with probably the most ridiculous line of dialogue ever written.



So Red Buttons ventures over to a mousey Carol Lynley "Nonnie" (who had just sang that piece of crap Morning After song) to console her. She is sitting next to her dead brother. Red so sympathetically says to her “Your brother is dead.” And Carol, as only the character Nonnie can say with a straight face, replies “Did you like his music?” The gang is off and running to climb up to the bottom.

For the next hours we get treated to the “who is gonna live and who is gonna die story line,” you know the stuff a 6 year old could write. For me, I just assume vote them all off the boat. First Shelley Winters get stuck climbing up the Christmas Tree. I don’t know about you, but can you imagine being under Shelley Winter’s ass on a Christmas Tree? I wouldn’t wish that on Dick Cheney (um, then again I would). Then as the seas pour in the crowd rushes to the tree (phew, Shelley made it up in time), bad idea --- tree tumbles, crowd falls, they die. Then Fallon, rather Pamela Sue Martin is told she can't escape an upside boat in a gown. Off comes the gown with a big rip to reveal some Mary Quant inspired hot pants. Perfect for the 15 year old male adolescent crowd in 1972.

First to die is Roddy McDowall. His character was pretty lame, as was his leg. Then its Shelley Winters (aka Mrs. Belle Rosen) to the rescue – as Gene Hackman is trapped underwater. Conveniently this very large woman was an underwater swimming champ (in her youth and size 4 dress days, not as a fat old broad). We are then treated to Shelley’s underwater ballet (revealing her erotic pantyline and ass cheeks we so unfortuantely missed on the Christmas Tree) as she saves Gene (the reverend) from certain drowning.



But alas, Mr Allen-producer-man probably didn’t want to pay this double-Oscar winning actress too much, so she is written out of the movie by dying of a heart attack. According to Jewish law (Mrs. Rosen was going to see her grandson's bar mitzvah in Israel) the body has to be buried within 24 hours. Being at sea made this a tad difficult, so the gang just leaves this beached whale to rot on the floor (or rather roof since the boat is upside down). The Shelley Winters character of Belle Rosen was SO inspiring, they even created an action figure of it (I am NOT kidding).



What a fun coincidence --- Leslie Nielsen who says "don't call me Shirley" in Airplane eight years later is in the same movie as Shelley Winters, who's real name is Shirley Shrift. Inquiring minds want to know - Shelley and Leslie separated at birth?

Next to go….hooker with a heart Stella Stevens (wonder if she knows David Vitter) gets blown off some scaffolding by a explosion. Cop-husband and McHale’s Navy star Ernest Borgnine gets morose for all of 30 seconds. And finally the rev, who keeps yelling at God (one would hope about how he let George Bush get elected, but alas not) about taking all these lives. So to let the remaining survivors get to safety (and be the hero he needs to be) – the reverend closes a steam pipe which is blowing hot steam, blocking the path out. Can i ask --- where the fuck was Gene Hackman when we REALLY needed him last week in New York???? Gene you would have been a real hero if you had turned off the steam pipe on Lexington Avenue instead. But Gene's job is done so he falls to his death. Fallon is upset for all of 31 seconds.



The required obnoxious kid was right – he knew exactly where the the 2” thick hull was and that is exactly where the Navy (maybe the Austrian Navy led by Captain Von Trapp – who knows? The year this took place is never specified and the Austrian Navy can’t be all that busy) is drilling to let them out.

Does it get any better than this?