Is It Getting Warm In Here?

Not long ago, a male friend referred to me as ‘hot.’ I eyeballed him suspiciously, waiting for the punch line. When it didn’t come, I chuckled, sputtered, and then snorted (which, I’m certain, is not ‘hot’). In case you haven’t sorted it out, ‘hot’ is not a word I have ever attached to myself. Ever. He assured me that I’m selling myself short (as I am wont to do) but I still scoffed (and suggested he have his eyes checked).

But it got me to thinking. (Smell the smoke?)

Obviously, ‘hot’ is like beauty, in that it’s in the eye of the beholder. I know this, though I do think there must be some universal ‘hot’ standards, just as there are universal beauty standards. Right? I mean, I'm betting there are few people on the planet who would look at Halle Berry and say, “Ew. She’s ugly.” Hello. She’s Halle Berry. She’s gorgeous. Now, I can see some people saying, “Well, yeah, I think she’s pretty, but she’s not that fabulous.” I think those people would be nuts, but I’ll give a little… eye… beholder… all that…

And I know lots of women who think Brad Pitt is drop-dead-gorgeous. Me? Meh. Same with Tom Cruise. In fact, not only is he not gorgeous, he’s downright creepy. And I have a guy friend who thinks Drew Barrymore is beautiful. Really? I don’t see it.

Eye… beholder… all that…

But that's beauty. What about ‘hot’? Are there universal standards? I really wasn’t sure. So I asked my Facebook friends (and I should note here that I do realize asking my FB peeps does not a Universal Standards study make, but I got some interesting answers nonetheless).

I found out there are several levels of ‘hot’ (which I think I pretty much already knew but it was made very clear by the replies I got).

The first level is the initial ‘Wow!’ That’s when you see a photo of someone or pass them on the street or see them in a bar and think, “Damn! Dude is HOT!” For me, it’s this guy...

I can’t even remember his name. But really? Who cares? Dude is HOT! This level of ‘hot’ is superficial. Completely superficial. The person is not even real at this level. In fact, you almost don’t even want him to open his mouth because you know the whole effect could be ruined (like the first time I saw Jean Claude Van Damme in an interview. Hot… then so not).

The first level is purely physical. Purely sexual. It’s about ‘Oh yeah, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers.’ It’s about abs and butts and boobs and whatever other physical attribute floats your boat. It’s the first date with the gorgeous guy you have nothing in common with but want to lick up one side and down the other anyway. It’s, as a friend said, the younger, well-endowed woman gyrating in front of him in a club. It’s lusty. It’s good. But it’s not real. It has no substance. It's more about imagination than the ability to actually touch.

The second level is still superficial, but slightly less so. The person is real but you still don’t really know him. For me, it’s Gerard Butler.

Oh my. Gerard is hot. He’s hot on a physical level, certainly, but I also like the person I believe him to be (a belief garnered from watching him in television interviews, natch…you didn’t think I’d actually met him, did you?). He seems like a great guy… funny, smart, charming, self-deprecating. He might not be any of those things but he comes across that way, so he remains hot (and will until he’s arrested or photographed kicking a puppy, when he will be dumped into the Tom Cruise ‘not hot’ category).

This level of 'hot' is the beautiful girl who works in your building and smiles at you and makes small talk on the elevator. It’s the gorgeous, friendly Alex O’Loughlin look-alike who waits on you at the coffee shop and gives you goosebumps when he touches your hand as he gives you your change. It’s lusty, too, but it has to do with more than just the physical. It’s still superficial and not really real, but it’s a little more real than the guy in the photo whose name I can’t remember because there is another component -- the personality -- involved. Get it?

The next level of 'hot' is real because it’s about real people. It’s the level I was hoping to hear about from my peeps. It’s the level that moves past the superficial (though it can certainly contain superficial elements) to the heart of what really turns us on. It’s where I think my friend was looking when he labeled me ‘hot.’

Now, I should note here that a few of my friends disagree with labeling this level of ‘hot,’ well, ‘hot.’ They said ‘hot’ should be reserved only for the superficial, first glance, walk-into-a-pole, oh-my-god-I-would-do-her-in-a-second reaction (note I said "her," as I believe all the people who suggested the third level of ‘hot’ was not ‘hot’ were guys). Anyway, they said this level is about attraction and getting-to-know someone, etc.

I get that. And I don’t necessarily disagree…

But I asked what people found ‘hot’ and more people (men and women equally) responded with things that fall into this category than the superficial ones. I’m sure that has to do with the fact that most of my FB friends are around my age and by this age we are focused on the whole package and not just the superficial. I surely hope so, anyway, or I’m screwed on the dating front!

So, I determined that this level of ‘hot’ is about the real person… the internal as well as the external (which included dimples and strong jaw lines, sparkly eyes and real smiles)… it’s about having a sense of humor and being open-minded and intelligent. It’s about the level of caring and kindness the person expresses. It has a lot to do with confidence and attitude, feeling sexy and being comfortable in one’s own skin. It’s about the look or the smile, the touch or the suggestive comment from someone you genuinely like (and might love) that makes your stomach do those floopy things. It’s about being a good parent and having respect for one’s partner and expressing love in generous ways. It’s listening and providing a shoulder to cry on and going out at midnight for NyQuil when the flu hits (now, that is hot!). It’s not, I’m happy to say, about 6-pack abs and perfect thighs. Whew!

And? I like it. And I agree. It’s good. It’s real. It’s ‘hot.’

Or, as my nearly 70-year-old Aunt Jean says, it might just be about the ass.

Who am I to argue?

Must Work on That...

I was talking to a friend yesterday about something I'm struggling with (have struggled with/continue to struggle with/will, seemingly, forever struggle with) and I said, "If I could change just one thing about myself, it would be that." Then I amended the statement, as I think there are a bunch of things I could/should change about myself... but that thing? That thing was/is/will forever be at the top of the list. Then I got to thinking about it. What ARE those things I could/should change to make my life simpler/happier/better?

And I settled on three things...

1) My mad procrastination skillz...

I've always been a procrastinator. Always. When I was in the 4th grade, I remember sitting on my bed, surrounded by 9 or 10 volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica, rushing through essay after essay - one for each the former presidents of the United States. As usual, I'd left it to the last minute (i.e. Sunday night, when it was due on Monday). I was in a panic. Certain I wasn't going to finish, I remember making a deal with the Universe: "If I finish this tonight, I will never, EVER leave anything to the last minute again!"

Pffftttt.

I finished (thank heavens there had been far fewer presidents than today or I wouldn't have finished!)... but I so did not keep my end that bargain with the cosmos. Procrastination affects me nearly daily in negative ways (mainly upping my stress levels). But still? I do it. Why? I'm not sure. I wish I knew. Must work on that.

2) My ability to over-think Every. Damned. Thing...

Lordy, lordy! This has to be one of my most annoying traits. There are some things I don't over-analyze... some things I just DO... like parenting. I have a great deal of confidence in my ability to mother my child well. Don't get me wrong, I put thought into it, but I don't fret over it. I don't play out every possible scenario in my head until I'm seeing zebras and unicorns instead of ponies. I just do it and trust that it will work out and if I've made a mistake? We'll get through it.

Hmmm... I just realized something... I wrote, "I have a great deal of confidence in my ability to mother my child well." Confidence. Confidence is at the root of my over-thinking? Or LACK of confidence? It is, isn't it? Damn. That's not good, is it? Must work on that. A lot.

3) My inability to ask for help when I need it...

This one might be even more frustrating for the people who love me than it is for me, I think. When I'm struggling, they want to help. They know I need help. But I can't ask for it. It kills me. Truly. My head wants to implode. I feel like a failure. But if one of my friends needed help? Never - not in a million years - would the word 'failure' come to mind. Never. So why can't I ease up on myself and just ask? Why do I feel the need to suffer alone? I don't know. Must work on that. Really. Seriously. A lot.

So, those are the things I'd change. Well, three of the things, anyway. Those are the things I actually have the power to change, if I'm so inclined. Am I so inclined? I don't know. Must work on that...

What three things would YOU change? About you, not me! Lord, I have enough complexes... I don't need a list of things you'd change about me, too!

Advice for Friday...

... and, you know, all the other days, too. From Neil Gaiman and me. OK, so mostly from Mr. Gaiman, since he wrote it and all... let's be a bit less nit-picky, shall we?


Happy Friday, my bloggy loves! Have a wonderful weekend! XO

Somewhere In Between...

The other day, while mooching around Facebook, I read an article about teens and 'tweens and a guy commented, "I wish the word 'tween could be excised from our vocabularies!" My guess? This guy is NOT the parent of a 'tween. It's a word that describes the 9 - 13-year-old set pretty perfectly. They're not little kids. They're not teenagers. They're stuck in this uncomfortable, awkward, 'in between' stage of life, where they're trying hard to fit in and find their way and be independent... but they still need their mommies and daddies for, oh, so many things (and not just money).

I am the mother of such a creature. I've dreaded these years, truth be told. My own 'tween years were horrid, really. Middle school was a nightmare. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, which was stretched over too-big bones (specifically, a too-big nose that caused me more grief than I care to recall, much of which was brought on by yours truly), and covering a quivering mass of insecurities and worry about every friggin' thing in my line of sight. For example, I remember convincing myself I had scoliosis and was going to have to wear one of those awful back braces for my entire middle school and high school career. I used to stand in front of my mirror, looking for the curve in my spine that would spell the demise of my (non-existent) social life, trying to figure out how I could keep it from my parents and still not wind up looking like Quasimodo. As I say, nightmare.

Ryan, however, doesn't seem to have the same bad dreams I had. Oh, don't get me wrong, she has her own list of insecurities, but, so far anyway, they don't seem to be debilitating. Her reaction to the realization that she'd inherited her nose from me? "Well, you grew into yours, so I'm sure I'll grow into mine. Eventually." Heh. She's got this amazing sense of self that I never had... hell, I'm not sure I have it yet! And she's absolutely blossoming in middle school. She's working out that not everything will come easily to her (math) and that she's going to have to work harder at some things than others (math) but that she really can do it (math) if she keeps a positive attitude. She's finding new things that interest her and she's surrounded herself with a group of friends who seem to be, in general, supportive and encouraging, not back-stabbing and mean, as girls this age can often be. She's taking on new responsibilities at home and at school and she's managing everything without stress or whining (mostly). She handles disappointments (lots of them to do with her father) with dignity and grace (mostly).

She's growing up.

I'm happy for her and I'm so very proud of her but I'm still a little scared of what's to come. Because along with all that good stuff, I know there will be days (as there are now and have been since she turned 3) when I want to kick her butt into tomorrow. It's only been in the past few weeks that I seem to be able to embarrass her without even trying (I've been able to do it intentionally for a long time now!). I've worked out that if her friends are around, I walk a very thin line... pretty much everything I say or do could cause me to fall on the wrong side of the line and subject me to eye-rolling, disgusted looks, and exasperated whines of "Mo-om!"

Sigh.

But I'll take that stuff. Because at night, she still wants me to tuck her in. She still wants me to cuddle with her and just talk for a few minutes before she falls asleep. It won't always be that way, I know. But for now, she's a 'tween. And all is as it should be.

My girl at her first cross country meet yesterday. She? Rocks.

Hello September!

Ringing in the month of September has always felt like sort of like ringing in the New Year to me. It's always signaled the start of school (close enough, anyway), the start of fall (close enough, anyway), the start of a new 'summer's over so let's get on with real life' attitude... you know what I mean?

So, I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and we got to talking about blogging (because I think he should start one) and I was telling him about all of you. As I was going on and on and on, I realized how much I miss this place. I decided my worry over people in Pigsknuckle reading my stuff is just silly... this is ME. For better or worse. No pretense. And I'm the same in writing as I am in person (well, I'm skinnier in writing). So love me or leave me (but please don't leave me, 'k? I have abandonment issues...).

And that? Is the start of my new 'summer's over so let's get on with real life' attitude. I like it. And it should hold until my 'winter's set in so let's hibernate under the covers and eat chocolate until the spring thaw' attitude sets in.

Anyway, as I say, summer's over. It was a good one overall. Swimming went, well, swimmingly! Coaching was loads of fun (though time-consuming!) and Ryan did remarkably well this season. She racked up a bunch of first-place ribbons all season and placed in the top 8 in every event she swam for the big all-team 'Champs' meet. I was so proud of her!

The other big event for me was the Booby Walk (also known as the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Event). I traveled to Chicago this year, where my friend Anne and I (and 2,000 other people) walked 60 miles and raised, collectively, $4.2 million for breast cancer research! This year's walk was as phenomenal as last year's -- even better, really, as I had an amazing (albeit crazy... and deaf, too) friend to walk with. Anne's already signed on (and signed up!) to walk in DC with me in 2011. Whoo hoo! I can't wait! My blisters will have fully healed by then. I hope. Here are a couple of photos from the walk...

(Me)
(Anne was disappointed it wasn't the Playboy Walk but happy she still got her bunny ears!)
(I walk because I have boobies. Heh.)
(At the end of 3 days and 60 miles!)

So, now it's so long to summer and onward to fall and all the ups and downs it will bring (hopefully more ups than downs, though)! And I expect blogging will, once again, be one of the ups!! XOXO

The 3-Day Is Around the Corner...

Hello, my lovely bloggy peeps! Summer, she is almost over for me, even though we're only half-way through July. I'm not complaining either. It's been crazy-busy and I've had a bunch of not-so-pleasant things going on personally of late that have made me want to just crawl in a hole and wait for fall. But I can't do that yet...

In less than 3 weeks, I'm hopping on a train and heading out to Chicago to walk in my second Susan G. Komen 3-Day Event! It's a 60-mile walk over a 3-day period to raise funds and awareness for breast cancer research. I'm damned excited about it, too, as last year's walk in DC was life changing (and I want and need me some more of that!) and this year I get to walk with one of my favorite people on the planet! And I'm ready for 60 miles, too! But... I've spent so much time walking this summer (50+ miles a week!) to get ready that I've let my fundraising efforts sort of fall by the wayside.

Uh oh.

As you guys might know, all walkers have to raise $2,300 or pay the balance themselves! Yikes! Remember those 'not-so-pleasant personal things' going on? Well, one of them is (as always) lack of funds, so paying the balance due myself really isn't an option! As such, I'm down on my creaky knees, batting my eyelashes, giving the puppy-dog pout, hoping to generate some pity (and money!).

If you can donate, I hope you will. Just click on this link and it'll take you directly to my donation page on the Susan G. Komen site. The process is easy, with a credit or debit card, and my friends all over the world were able to donate last year.

No donation is too small (or too big!) and every single one is so very much appreciated! It's such an important cause and it affects SO many people, either directly or indirectly. But if you can't donate, I totally understand. I do hope you'll pass on the information, though, so that anyone else who might be willing to can do so. Thank you all so much!!!

Much love! Diane... XOXO

Is It Over Yet?

Lordy, it's hot our there... stinkin' hot. In fact, it's been stinkin' hot for way too much of this summer. I'm ready for it to be over... the heatwave... and maybe even the summer. Anyone else?

I wonder how much of my life I spend wishing away? I try not to. Truly. I'm trying to spend more time really feeling present... in the moment... and a whole lot of other new-age-y, touchy-feely crap... er, I mean terms. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Truth is? I'm pooped. I'm hot and pooped. I completely over-extended myself this summer. I've been walking about 50 miles a week (in the heat) to get ready for the Booby Walk in August (for which I'm so far behind in my fund raising effort, it's not even funny, but I still can't wait for it to get here, as I'll get to spend several days with one of my favorite people on the planet). Swim coaching, while loads of fun, is taking up more time than I expected. My mom's been in the hospital, and that's required running around like an idiot and a general disruption to the already-taxed routine. I'm trying to work and prepare for classes and I'm not being terribly effective at anything. And I simply can't work out a week for Ryan's and my annual camping vacation (though we've taken a short jaunt here and there). There's too much going on. Too many obligations. Too much heat. Too much just being tired.

And right about now, you, my wonderful bloggy friends (if I still have any wonderful bloggy friends, after being AWOL for-friggin'-ever!), are thinking, "Christ on a pogo stick! Quit yer bitchin', Diane! Weren't you the one complaining about how long and cold the winter was? Now you're whinging about how long and hot the summer is! Are you never happy?!"

It would seem I'm not, wouldn't it? Sigh. I am, though. You know that, right? There are good things happening. Ryan's ROCKING at the pool and her bulletin board is loaded with 1st place ribbons from this season. Those 50 miles a week I'm walking? Aren't even difficult anymore. I'll be ready for 60 miles in 3 days next month, no doubt! My work situation, which has been abysmal, is about to change for the better and it's likely I'll wind up with more work than I can handle very soon (no worries... you'll hear me whinging about that when it happens!).

So maybe I'm just hot. And not in that cool-everyone-wants-to-date-me way. In that damn-even-my-hair-is-sweating way.

So maybe if it just cools down, the world will be fabulous again. Right?

One can hope. 'Til then? I'm going to get some ice cream.

Life's Like an Hourglass, Glued to the Table...

No one can find the rewind button, girl...

I love that song. And I so wish there was a rewind button. Yesterday, an old friend of mine died unexpectedly. I hadn't seen her in years, though I'd been in touch recently with her husband, also an old friend (actually, he was my friend first). We used to work together when we were in our 20's; we were at each others' weddings; we hung out most weekends for several years. She was sweet and funny and kind. She was loving and much loved - by her friends, her family, and most of all, her husband and son (who is Ryan's age). I'm so sad for all of them. And I'm stunned that another person my age has died.

Over the weekend, I found out that a girl I went to high school with died of cancer. Just a couple of months ago, a guy from my class died of a heart attack, not long after running a road race (one of many over the previous year). And some of you might remember my friend Mark's death last fall, as I posted about him a couple of times.

For the last year, my Aunt Jean, one of my favorite people on the planet, has battled an awful cancer that nearly got the best of her... but it didn't. I'm happy to say she's in remission, for which I'm unbelievably grateful.

All these events have made me realize how easy it is to get caught up in our day-to-day existence... how easy it is to simply forget just how fragile and fleeting Life really is.

But it is fragile. It is fleeting. We're not here for long, even though days and weeks and years (especially those when we're dealing with the darker parts of Life) can sometimes seem interminable.

In light of this realization, I posted some advice on my Facebook page this morning. I don't always take my own advice but I'm really going to try this time...

~ Find your passions and pursue them.
~ Pick your causes and give your time and energy - give yourself - to them.
~ The people you love? Love them extraordinarily well.
~ The people you don't? Let them go.
~ The people you love but who don't love you back? Let them go, too.
~ Remember that you deserve the best from Life and those in your life.
~ Remember that you owe Life, others, and yourself the very best of you.
~ Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings.
~ Forgive others. Don't hold on to hurt and anger and grudges and regrets.
~ Take care of yourself, body and spirit, and be here for as long as possible - whole, healthy, and happy as possible!

Life is like an hourglass, glued to the table, and no one can find the rewind button...

Live so you don't need one, my friends.

Much, much love, Diane... XOXO

Ouch...

So, one of the reasons I’ve been gone from Blogland is that I met someone… someone pretty terrific… someone with whom I clicked and with whom there was chemistry and about whom I wanted to know more and more and more.

And?

It was mutual (much to my shock and surprise)! And after a few weeks, I stopped looking for red flags… I relaxed a bit… I stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And then?

The other shoe dropped. And it all fell apart.

And now?

My heart hurts.



He’s sorry and I appreciate that. I do. And I wish I didn’t still like him… but I do. But I don’t want to be his friend because then I’ll just wish it was different and wonder why it wasn’t me he chose. And I’ve been down that road before and it’s just too hard.

And I feel like I’m back in middle school.

This sucks.

Sending Some Sunshine...

I had a post all ready for tonight (as promised!) but I decided this was more important...

I've met the most wonderful people here in Blogland (yes, I mean you!) and one of the most wonderful is Debbie, over at Single Mom in a Complicated World. Debbie is one of the sweetest, most giving human beings I've ever had the privilege of knowing. She's become one of my favorite Facebook friends as well and she's someone I know beyond all doubt I'll meet in person one day soon.

Debbie's going through a really difficult time right now... so I wanted to send her a little sunshine. I hope you'll all think good thoughts for her, too... she is so very deserving of them.


Keep your face turned toward the sun, Deb! Things will look brighter soon... I just know it! XOXOX

Holy Moly!

It's been so long since I've set foot in the addled world of my (written) ramblings (I had to clarify that, as I spend every day in the addled world of my normal-type ramblings), I forgot my bloggy password! It took me three tries to get in!

Hello, my lovely bloggy buds! I've missed you! And given the sweetest, most wonderful emails I've been receiving of late, some of you have missed me, too. Thank you for that. I always tell people that the best part of blogging is the people I've 'met'... how we're really a community that cares about each other, even though most of us have never come to face-to-face. In the last week or so, I've gotten emails from people all around the globe, asking if I'm OK; if I'm ever coming back to Blogland; telling me I'm missed. My lazy, non-writing little heart was overwhelmed. That's the stuff hope is made of, you know? Our world might seem as though it's falling apart around us, but as long as there are people out there who care about each other - who care about people they've never met - I think we'll all be OK.

So... I've been gone a while... certainly longer than I anticipated. It wasn't really intentional, as I figured I'd be back within a week or two. But life just kind of picked up and I had to go with the flow, 'cause that's how I roll... er, float. Whatever. Things have been mostly good, too, so I'm not complaining! I've been crazy busy, which isn't likely to change anytime soon, as swim team, running camp, writing camp, the booby walk, the half-marathon, several camping trips, a new job (fingers crossed), and an actual social life(!) are on the agenda for the next 3 months.

One thing I've not been doing much of, however, is writing. So I'm meaning to change that. Remember I said that. And hold me to it, OK?

I hope you're all well and wonderful and writing your little hearts out! I can't wait to see what you've been up to. I'll catch up with you soon... and I'll be back... tomorrow. Really. I'm not lying this time. Honest. Do you believe me? You do, don't you? Stop shaking your head! I will! I promise. Pinky-swear! Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. You know, that's a pretty horrible thing to say, isn't it? "Hope to die"?! "Stick a needle in my eye"?! Yuck. Just so you know, even if I don't post tomorrow (which I WILL), I'm totally not hoping to die OR sticking a needle in my eye. Just sayin'. But I'll be back. Tomorrow. Really. Honest.

Truly.

Seriously.

I will.

Believe me yet?

As If You Didn't Know...

I'm taking a bit of a break from blogging. Actually I'm taking a break from Facebook, too, and pretty much all electronic mediums (except email for work and basic communication). Life (with an upper case L) has been kicking my butt around lately and I think I need to spend a little time focusing on a few things, keeping distractions to a minimum. I know you guys understand... we've all been there. Life (with an upper case L) sometimes likes to show us who's boss... and I think I just got demoted.

Anyway, I'll be back (I always come back, don't I?), hopefully full of interesting things to write about. Well, things that won't put you to sleep, anyway. Take care of you and don't forget me! XOXO

Bloggy Block...

Howdy, my bloggy loves! I feel as though I've been gone forever! Thanks to everyone who's emailed to check up/in... I'm fine... alive and well (well, still kicking, anyway). Life has just gotten in the way of blogging, which seems to be happening more now than ever, since I started little writing adventure. I've also been experiencing a bit of a block, though I have been writing (prompted by my classes, only one of which is still going on)... but much of it has been stuff I'm just not ready to share yet. I figured out recently that there's something else affecting my blogging frequency...

You know I fell into the Facebook trap a while ago, right? I've really enjoyed it (much more than I expected I would) and I've gotten in touch with loads of old friends and met a few people I didn't know prior (it's a lot like blogging in that way). I posted a link to my blog on my FB page, though, and as a result, I started to notice a lot more traffic from Pigsknuckle passing through Blogland than I've ever seen before. There used to be, maybe, two people from here who read my stuff... now there are more. Several more. And it's sort of weird to know that people who know me (or knew me once), and have these very preconceived notions of who I am, are now able to see me in this way... in this very personal way. It's not a bad thing, certainly, but I think it's caused me to sort of 'seize' when it comes to posting. I don't want to censor myself but I find myself, for the first time, really, wondering what people will think of my words and attitudes and feelings and snark. Does that makes sense? I think it's so easy to be open here in Blogland, especially with people who don't know you in person (or when the people who do know you in person and read your blog know you SO well, like my friends Mel and Todd, for example... no one knows me better, so nothing I write here is a big surprise to them).

I'm working on moving past it, though, and coming up with some posts. And I will make it around to everyone else over the next few days. I've missed you guys! XOXO

Go, Little Activist, Go!

A couple of weeks ago, when I picked my 10-year-old up at school after her student government meeting, she was angry and close to tears. When I asked her what was wrong, she declared, "I need permission to use the word 'friggin'!" I had to contain my giggle, as she was clearly upset, and I asked, again, what was wrong. She told me that, due to proposed state budget cuts, the middle school and high school athletic programs might be eliminated. Since she was planning (and excited) to run cross country and track next year (as a 5th grader, she's not eligible yet), this was devastating to hear. I told her that if she was really upset about it, she needed to go down to the next school board meeting and let them know. Within five minutes, she decided that was exactly what she was going to do.

Over the past two weeks, we've talked quite a bit about her speech. I explained that she needed to be clear about why eliminating the sports programs would be a bad idea and that she also needed to make sure she was willing to give something back -- not just ask for 'something for nothing' (even though the programs are warranted on their own merit). She told me the other day that she and her friend Abigail had discussed the speech and come up with some good points. I told her to write it all out and then I'd look at it and we could make changes if they were necessary.

She did.

And?

I was blown away. If I hadn't sat and watched her type it all out, I would have assumed it was written by someone much older than 10. She was clear and articulate and she made her points succinctly. She even added at the end that she understood there was not enough money in the budget for everything schools need, but that she and her friends and their parents would be willing to raise funds and find volunteers to keep the programs going. There were a couple of small areas that lacked a certain diplomacy but she's 10... diplomacy isn't something a lot of adults can employ, so her lack wasn't too surprising. I made suggestions to tweak those areas and she did it. She did it well.

So, tonight was the school board meeting. We got there a little early and sat near the front. When the time came for the 8-member board (including the school Superintendent) to hear from the general public, Ryan was first up. She announced herself, her age, her school, and her topic, and then she launched into her speech. Though I knew she was nervous, no one else could tell. She was confident, clear, and full of conviction. After she finished, the next woman up (to speak about the arts program) said she didn't want to follow Ryan. Everyone laughed. One of the school board members told my baby she was "eloquent and very brave." And she was!

It turns out that the athletic programs aren't being cut (yay!). The decision had been made before Ryan spoke (although the Superintendent joked that they just made the decision after Ryan's speech), but I assured her that she had made an impression nonetheless, and that her words might have an impact down the road, when the budget issue comes up again. And regardless, it's important to be heard when you feel strongly about something, especially something so worthwhile. I told her that the school board and the community needs to know that students care and that they are willing to work within established protocols to get things done.

And?

She was as proud of herself as I was.

And?

She might be on television tonight and in the newspaper tomorrow. I sure do hope so!

It's Not Easy Being Green...

I've been a horrible blogger of late (and I probably deserve to have lost the FOUR! followers who went bye-bye in the past week... man, that stings, eh?). I wish I could tell you why I've not been able to write anything lately. But I can't. I'm just feeling sort of stagnant. Static. Stuck. Sucky. I did have a jolt of electricity applied directly to the creative centers of my brain yesterday, though...

I went to see Wicked! As you might remember, I got tickets to see it as Ryan's big Christmas gift this year. I saw the show in London a few years ago (with Idina Menzel!) and Ryan's been dying to see it ever since. My intention was actually to take her to NY to see it on Broadway (but you know what they say about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions, right?). So when I found out it was going to be playing in Richmond, a mere two hours from Pigsknuckle, I jumped on it and got us tickets for yesterday's matinee.

The show was as spectacular as I remembered! And Ryan absolutely loved it! She was blown away by everything -- the sets, the costumes, the story, the music, the performances (and specifically the singing!). She said it was better than the Broadway version of The Lion King, which is saying something, really, as that show was amazing!

If you haven't read Gregory Maguire's book, Wicked, from which the stage production was adapted, it's the story of how the Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West (of Wizard of Oz fame, natch) became enemies... sort of. Gregory Maguire has this fabulous way of turning tried and true stories and fairy tales on their ears, giving his audience a completely different perspective, especially on the subjects of 'evil' and 'good.' And let's just say that you leave Wicked with a whole new take the color green! If you haven't read the book, do! It's wonderful. And if you haven't seen the show but you have the opportunity to do so, do that, too! I guarantee you won't be disappointed!

Hopefully I can tap into the creative energy I witnessed yesterday and manage to write something more in depth than a grocery list in the next few days. One can hope, right?