Keep It In Your Pants (And Off Your Cellphone) Brett Favre.

There's a lovely punchline just begging to be written for this story, but it's a Friday and the Day Job's definitely gotten their money's worth this week. Thus, I got nothing left. So why don't ya'll supply the color commentary on this one?

The X-rated photos included in the video posted on Deadspin Thursday afternoon claim to show legendary quarterback and devoted family man Brett Favre like you've never seen him before: naked from the waist down.

The wisenheimer website posted three pictures of private parts it says the Minnesota Vikings quarterback sent to Jenn Sterger in 2008, when Favre was with the Jets and the sexy TV personality was a Gang Green sideline reporter. "It's a good story for us," Deadspin editor-in-chief A.J. Daulerio said. "We cover the dark side of sports."

Daulerio also posted voicemails he says that Favre - a 40-year-old grandfather - left on Sterger's phone in a clumsy attempt to woo the 26-year-old model, actress and television host.

"Send me a text," Favre said in one voicemail. "Love to see you tonight."

Favre declined to comment on the Deadspin post while meeting with reporters at the Vikings training facility Thursday. "I'm not getting into that," Favre said. "I've got my hands full with the Jets." Favre and the Vikings play the Jets at the New Meadowlands .Stadium on Monday night.

Daulerio said Sterger did not provide the photos and voicemails and declined comment for his post.

Daulerio would not identify the source of the materials, but said the source contacted Deadspin after Daulerio first reported in August that Favre had sent X-rated photos to Sterger. Daulerio said he's convinced the photos and voicemails are authentically Favre. Daulerio said Deadspin paid for the photos and voicemails but declined to say how much.

Deadspin also reported that Favre may have had a wingman. The website reports that Favre told Sterger in a MySpace message that a Jets media relations manager "will either slip you my # or ask for yours."

Deadspin first reported in August that Favre had sent X-rated photos to Sterger. Daulerio reported that Sterger had told him in January about the photos and voicemails. She wasn't willing to go public with Favre's off-field passes, according to Daulerio, but she held onto the pictures and voicemails to laugh at with her friends. It was not clear in August that Sterger consented to Deadspin's use of the information.

Sterger sent Daulerio a Feb. 15 email, later posted on Deadspin, that said she was not interested in hooking up with Favre, who has been married to Deanna Favre for 14 years.

I'm obviously not gonna post photos of a man's junk on this site. If you must see Favre's loose balls, find them on your own time.

I really have nothing else to add here, but I'm assuming Lauren's gonna swoop in with an "I told you so" any moment now. Have at it.

Question: Is this a bad look for Brett Favre's "All American Boy" image?

Brett Favre exposed as Deadspin post reveals voicemails, lewd photos allegedly sent to Jenn Sterger [NYDailyNews]

Ashy Or Classy?!? - The First Ladies.

They Should Have Never Gave You N*ggas ProTools!!!

...or a green screen. Or EBT cards for that matter.

You've surely already seen the latest viral video sensation making laps about the NegroNet™ by now. It's not too different from the equally low-budget Smokahontas Jones video of a few months back, which also bragged about sellin' p*ssy.



Reactions around the web have been universal: These chicks are rappin' about sellin' cooch, yet call themselves the First Ladies. How dare they shame Michelle O's title! cRap music is ruining our kids. Blah blah blah.

While this new Hoe-Hop™ genre of music is getting annoying, personally, this doesn't bug me much. The subject matter's sorta lame, but how different is this than the other 500 songs currently in rotation on your local Hot/Kiss/Power/Jamz at the moment? All those songs talk about the same thing: dudes paying for sex and women expecting money/cars/clothes in exchange for sex. At least these ladies are cutting to the chase. How are they any different than Nicki Minaj, or Diamond, or Trina? Same sh*t, different lacefront.

Besides, I kinda like this. The second chick actually has a nice voice/flow, and the beat's a knockoff Gucci Mane/Wocka Flacka/OJ Da' JuiceMan number. Cop your headphones and listen. That sh*t is knockin'.

I'm gonna give this a Moderately Ashy, mostly because the video is so turrible. Can these Negroes even spell tripod? But lemme say I don't mind the subject matter, and the song itself isn't the worst sh*t I've heard this week.

Question: Ashy Or Classy? Do these chicks need to stay on the track, or can they keep layin' tracks?

C.Y.I.N. Case Study - The Racist CSPAN Caller.

We're all had those "Crash" moments when someone says something so outlandishly racist that all you can do is pause and take a step back. They usually happen so quickly that the moment has passed by the time you finally gather your thoughts and think about what you really wanted to say.

Robb Harleston, a black host of a CSPAN call-in show recently had such a situation, he didn't C.Y.I.N. Nope, he handled it like a trill Corporate Negro would.



You just know this brotha wanted to say "Shut up and die you old hag! I got your colored man right chea under this table!!!" Of course he couldn't say this without prolly losing his well paying day job, and with all the influence weilded by the TeaBaggers, I don't blame him. Lexuses and Archbishop Carroll don't pay for themselves. Should he have check this woman just on GP? Maybe. But you can't pay for Wizards season tickets feed kids on GP. It's a lose-lose.

And besides, what would it have proven? A person who's made it to age 90 and still believes all colored folks are gubb'ment moochers when one of us is signing her freakin' SSI checks is beyond help. Heck, a person who uses the word "colored" to describe anything other than furniture in 2010 is beyond help. Live and let die surrounded by pissy cats! live.

Well played, Robb.

Question: What would you have done in a similar situation? Should Harleston have shown this woman his Southeast-side, or did he play it correctly, all things considered?

3 Play Thursday - J. Cole

It's 3 Play Thursday. Today: cRap music's next big thing, J. Cole.

Everyone loves claiming they were up on something before everyone else discovered how great said thing is. A looong time ago on this very blog, well before So Far Gone dropped, I told ya'll that Aubrey Drake Graham, a Canadian biracial kid who starred on a Nick Jr. show would be the biggest thing in cRap music. I also said a Lil' Kim clone named Nicki Minaj would defy all gender-constrained odds and also become the biggest thing in cRap music. It goes without saying that I was largely on point with both predictions. So I'm making another: 12 months from now, Jermaine Cole will be the biggest name out. Bookmark this post.

If you're clueless, J. Cole was Jay-Z's first signee to his Roc Nation label, and he's been working the underground circuit for about a year now with mixtapes and features in preparation for his debut album which'll drop sometime this year, assuming Will Smith's kid didn't steal all his marketing budget. The guy pretty much has all the tools to succeed in the game. He can spit. He's original. He's college educated, but has "street" appeal. He can do the "sing songy" thing for the ladies without sounding like a total simp. He's got a decent knack for making catchy singles that aren't dumbed all the way down. He's got the biggest name in rap pushing him. The fact that the guy's from my home state doesn't hurt either. Yes, I'm a fan, and whether you know it or not, you'll soon be one too.

I've already heard enough of the Kanye/Drake comparisons. I don't particularly agree with either, but I guess I understand why some folks see it. Good music's good music either way.

Enough of the talk, let's get to the tracks. When this guy blows up, just pretend you already heard of him.

"Who Dat?"



"Higher"



"Blow Up"



"Villematic"



"Lights Please"



Question: Assuming you've already heard of J. Cole, can you think of any reasons why he won't "blow up"?!?

Download J. Cole - "The Warm Up" [JColeMusic]

When Keepin' It TeaBagger Goes Wrong. Really Wrong.

In Taxed Enough Already America, anything the gubb'ment asks is grounds for scrutiny and cross-referencing your pocket sized copy of the Constitution for validity. Would the Founding Fathers have given up their hardly earned money in the form of taxes to pay for peanut butter and Kix for some ghetto bastard? Prolly not. Because the Founding Fathers spoke in absolutes that stand the test of time, and were always right. Glenn Beck said so.

That said, sometimes you just gotta pay your taxes, and when you don't, the results can be disastrous.



I should note, the guy whose house burned down doesn't ideologically agree with the Tea Party, which sorta undermines my premise, and makes Keith Olbermann's point equally vague.[1]



As I've said many times, I don't have a beef with taxes, mainly because I have enough common sense to know that sh*t has to get paid for somehow. If I had my vote, I'd repeal those ill-fated Bush tax cuts for all Americans. If we're serious about chipping away at that deficit (and we should be. Glenn Beck said so.) then what better way than to shave $4 Trillion off by slightly raising taxes on errybody?

Let the chuuch say Amen.

{crickets}

I guess this sorta goes to show why you need to take the smallest precautions (in this case a $75 tax) to avoid the largest catastrophes. Who plans on accidents happening? One lapse in auto insurance, one bad accident, and you could end up getting sued for everything you've got. One lapse in health insurance, one bad accident, and you could find yourself financially hosed with medical bill forever. I could go on and on, but why bother. This sh*t's just sad. Sad I tell ya'.

I feel really bad for this family, and get the sense that they're nice folks who simply didn't pay their fee because they always assumed nothing would ever happen ir just forgot to pay it. Yeah, it's a tough break, but this is what life might look like under Tea Bagger rule.

Keith Olbermann said so.

Question: Do you feel bad for this guy or is this just what happens when you don't pay your taxes? Should the firefighters have helped him anyway?

Firefighters watch as home burns to the ground [WSPD6]

[1] Man, I could only imagine the "I told you so!" that this guy's wife is killing him with right about now.

AB.com Guest Post - The Lingerie Football League? Really?!?

[Editor's Note: AverageNation™ regular Vanilla Latte has beef with this new Lingerie Football League, which is something swear I wasn't aware was real until she sent me a recent WashPost story. Silly me, I always assumed this was just a Budweiser commercial joke. As usual, show our guest some love you-know-where.]

When I read WashingtonPost.com’s headline, “Baltimore Charm, a new Lingerie Football League team, Plays up sheer Talent” I had to find out what the frack was going on. My first thought was that it was some sort of “fantasy football” promotion. Turns out the Lingerie Football League’s marketing tag line is “True Fantasy Football”. And this league is “legit” with 10 teams, a cable TV broadcast partner and sponsorships. AB is always saying “Get Money”! So the obvious point here is that it’s about the money. Why shouldn’t women play football? Why shouldn’t female athletes have their opportunity to play in front of a paying crowd? Don’t they deserve fat endorsement fees? How is it any different than the performance of the ladies on the WWE? And I sure as hell love B-more. It’s my favorite city in the DMV so if it brings in a source of revenue to a struggling city then it’s all good, right??

Then I watched the YouTube video and had a mixed reaction of repulsion and confusion.



If you don’t mind a bunch of drunken fans sitting in the stands rubbing one out it’s all good. It’s about titillation and not much else. Sure, they’re passing the ball. They’re running in touchdowns—well, at least the Philly team was. (I guess some things don’t change whether it’s a male or female league.) What confused the hell outta me is that the coach was berating his players for not tackling more. WTF?? They have on a helmet, skimpy shoulder pads and some little knee pads. You think those ladies are going to risk life and limbs tackling the opposing team with so little padding and protection? NFL players are padded from top to bottom. There is no Victoria Secret style cleavage. The most we ladies get to see is the outline of a nicely fitted cock piece on the men.

[Editor's Uncalled For Opinion: This is just straight up titillation and objectification. No need to mince words here: These ladies should just skip the gridiron altogether and go straight to the pole. Do not pass Go, do not stuff $200 in your g-string. I can't take this seriously, not when there's an actual, real women's football league (the Women's Football Alliance) that's been in existence. Those ladies (DMV folks should be familiar with the DC Divas) actually play football the way the game's intended. This lingerie crap belongs on SkineMax at 2am.]

So the Baltimore Charm Coach, Rick Reeder, says, “I'm looking for football players. This isn't about women running around in almost nothing. This is about competing.” Bullsh*t. If it was truly based on skill and competition you would not have your players wearing lingerie. Period. End of Story. Why try and sugarcoat this situation and glorify it to make it seem like these women are following in the footsteps of Billie Jean King or other female athletes who have actually broken gender barriers in professional sports?? Every person participating in the Lingerie Football League needs to stop with the asinine justifications of women playing any type of sport in panties and bra. It’s belittling and degrading to female athletes who feel that in order to compete that they have to strip down.

One final note: The final score of the evening’s Lingerie Football League was Philly over Baltimore 60-6. Hell, if I didn’t know any better I’d think the local team was outta Washington, DC after a choke like that.

Question: Is the Lingerie Football League serious sportswomanship, or just cheap titillation disguised as a sport? Would you pay good money to go see this? If 10 strippers jumped onstage with a football and some kneepads, would the net effect be the same?

Baltimore Charm, a new Lingerie Football League team, plays up sheer talent [WashPost]