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Counting down

Hmmmm, ye olde hit counter on the right sidebar tells me we need only 60,000 more visits to reach ten million, at which point Sam Elliott will appear, just as he did in Up in the Air.  And since we did the whole GNF asploding thing last time we shut down this humble blog, I’m thinking that we’ll have to try something else this time.  I know!  I’ll post all my program notes for Bad Futures.  Then I’ll pack up the old place, turn off the lights, and take my act over to Crooked Timber, where I’ll post this or that whenever I have a free moment.

But before that happens, we should take care of some business around here.  It’s been a long month.  Jamie’s all better and back in school, but he did miss three days last week, during which he ate no solid food.  Two weeks ago, 14-year-old Lucy the Dog, whose appearances on this blog are even rarer than Janet’s, lay shuddering in pain on the floor of the kitchen.  We took her to the vet ER and learned that she had mast cell tumors; we then took her to her regular vet, who did the necessary surgery; and she is now scampering about the house with a lampshade on her head, because (a) she still thinks she is a puppy, hence the scampering, and (b) she spent some time this past Saturday night chewing her dressing off and then licking out her stitches, hence the lampshade.

First item of business:  enumerating Stuff I Hate To Run Out Of.  Besides time and money, of course.  And faith and hope and charity and patience and reasons to be cheerful.  Little things the absence of which means that I have not been spending my time wisely or paying attention to things I need to pay attention to.  Paper products (paper towels, napkins, tp, Kleenex, coffee filters, lined pads for Jamie, printer paper for us), obviously.  Toner, because I haven’t been able to print stuff at home for a couple of weeks, and that’s totally half-assed.  Half and half, because it goes in the morning coffee every single morning, and should simply be available with the turn of a spigot, like tap water.  Asthma meds, because forgetting to refill your asthma meds is just teh l4m3.  Fresca and seltzer, because Fresca and seltzer in a 50-50 mix is far and away the most refreshing drink known to humankind.  I hope they keep making Fresca, because I fear that I am one of only eight people in North America who buys it.

And you?

Posted by on 09/27 at 11:06 AM

  1. Bile.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  12:36 PM

  2. Also, new posts at this blog.

    So listen up, commentariat.  We need to make those remaining page hits last as long as possible.  I therefore propose no more viewing or commenting at this blog we love so much unless it is absolutely necessary.  Remember that post-GNF hiatus, and how we were all left chewing our fingernails to the elbow, like rats in a maze with televisions that no longer carried their favorite TV show?  Heaven forfend that those days return too quickly.  If, like me, you truly love reading and commenting on this blog, I beg you: stop doing both, for all our sakes.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  12:43 PM

  3. I also get petrified that someday they will stop making Fresca. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person buying the remaining stock at my local, and when they run out of it, it will be gone forever. It’s like Elaine’s sponges on Seinfeld; in the bad future, what kind of thirst will be Fresca-worthy?!

    Posted by pmg  on  09/27  at  12:50 PM

  4. I hope they keep making Fresca, because I fear that I am one of only eight people in North America who buys it.

    I think the plan is for the last Fresca drinker to be strangled with intestines of the last Tab drinker.  Assuming that anorexia doesn’t get them first, of course.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  01:16 PM

  5. Fortunately, we’re running out of days to the start of hockey season. The Rangers can begin their march to the Stanley Cup. I am also running out of ibuprofin, tissues, and those Ricola cough drops that remind me of the joys of smoking for some reason.

    If we turn this into a shout out (as the kids these days like to call it) for predictions on the upcoming NHL season, we should be past 60,000 visits in no time. (If you do it really fast you get the Sam Elliott from “Lifeguard.") Remember, this is the Rangers’ year, and you heard it here first.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  01:18 PM

  6. Re: Fresca. Couldn’t you just put the seltzer in grapefruit juice?
    Re: old business: those reindeer armies. Just happened to hear the song on satellite radio the other day and Dylan is clearly singing “those homesick armies”
    Re: shutting down. What mds said. Pleeeeeeeease don’t
    And: Can Jon Hamm act, or what? Last night’s facial expressions of fear are best I’ve ever seen in a performance.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  02:11 PM

  7. 1. clean socks

    2. CT postings that don’t recapitulate old CT postings—place has become its own museum.

    I agree with mds that 10 million should be approached asymptotically, but Lucy’s fan base will probably push it over the edge.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  03:23 PM

  8. enumerating Stuff I Hate To Run Out Of

    1.  any new regular MB posting on this blog…
    2.  Gan Mao Ling wan (the best immune boost during cold/flu season…
    3.  ensemble procedural dramas (i am still housebound)
    4.  cashews, pecans, and peanut butter (nuts for nuts)
    5.  monthly bus pass (it is my lifeline to the world)
    6.  art because, well that is the captcha…

    por que no Fanta ?  Fanta is the Hispanic version of Fresca only with half of the chemicals.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  03:31 PM

  9. Cat litter.

    captcha: “feel,” as in “I know my fellow cat owners ____ me”

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  03:31 PM

  10. Sam Elliott, still married to that 60s dream babe, Katherine Ross, and living in their Malibu bluff house they built in the mid-1980s.  He is a pretend cowboy the rest of the time.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  03:39 PM

  11. You Fresca fans might be interested in knowing that you have a kindred spirit in ESPN radio show host Jason Smith. His twitter address is How About a Fresca

    I think the plan is for the last Fresca drinker to be strangled with intestines of the last Tab drinker.

    I like it! You know, just for the entertainment value. Not that I have anything against Tab or Fresca drinkers.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  03:59 PM

  12. It’s up to 112 here in L.A. so I can’t think of anything… oh yes, water.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  04:01 PM

  13. Christian!
    Yeah, WTF with the heat here in Central and So Cal? Did some asshole decided to flip the switch back on as a joke? I know there was also record setting heat in Denver yesterday. I think I saw a thermometer on the field at Mile High Stadium registering well over 100, and I read today it’s the hottest Sept. in Colorado on record (or at least for the past 118 years, or something). Here’s a link to more happy news about our collective march to a slow and painful death. The Giant Nuclear Fireball solution is just so much better. Plus, with the GNF, if there’s any survivors we might get some zombies out of the deal. And everybody likes zombies.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  04:28 PM

  14. Hey Oaktown Girl, indeed. It’s punishment for the cold summer (which I missed of course), I suppose. Or maybe it’s all the heat generated by Meg Whitman. Somebody should find out.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  04:33 PM

  15. The supply chain orders for Fresca have been reissued so many times that cases of Fresca will pile up on grocery store loading docks for years after GNF has put us out of our civil misery. The time for addicts to worry about Fresca supply is if it ever goes on sale—beware the dreaded closeout.

    Tp stocks require close attention and redundant resupply channels.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  05:11 PM

  16. Christian, what’s all this about water?  Just drink Fresca.

    I read today it’s the hottest Sept. in Colorado on record (or at least for the past 118 years, or something). Here’s a link to more happy news about our collective march to a slow and painful death.

    And don’t forget the blast furnace formerly known as Russia!  When my grandchildren ask me what I did about the global climate crisis, I’ll be able to point proudly to the time I pointed out that Michael Mann was trying to hide the decline.  Also, I believe I was the first to observe that Al Gore was a total hypocrite for flying to China in an airplane.

    Posted by Michael  on  09/27  at  05:20 PM

  17. at which point Sam Elliott will appear

    So you aren’t spending a nickel writing a sentence over the next few weeks unless it profits your web hits?

    And I will say that this one feels to me like it’s going to be one of those dreaded one-sided hiati. Not that there’s anything *wrong* with that.

    I also buy Fresca, making do with Diet Squirt (not quite as tangy or “artificially-tasting but in a good way” as Fresca) when it is not available. However, I am also someone who drinks Vault Zero, and wished there were diet Mountain Dew Code Red in my area, so I am not to be trusted in matters of taste.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  06:25 PM

  18. Just drink Fresca.

    This is just typical elitist East Coast liberal advice. We are dying in AlGore-created heat, and Michael advertises some limousine lemonade.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  06:51 PM

  19. Oh no, not the Cone of Shame!  Heal quickly, Lucy, so they’ll release you from your shame.

    Things I hate to run out of:

    1) Clean socks *and* underwear
    2) Evol burritos (I live on those things)
    3) Milk (can’t do breakfast without it—like Jerry Seinfeld, I eat cereal)
    4) Toilet paper
    5) Various meds for non-life-threatening but necessary-to-deal-with issues (if they were life-threatening, I’d remember to refill on time)
    6) Posts on *this* blog, not some stinking group blog

    And in unrelated new, I’m glad they *finally* mentioned the damn Beatles on Mad Men.  And what a great song to play out the show to!

    Posted by Dr. Virago  on  09/27  at  07:01 PM

  20. Fresca! Fresca flows like water (or tears, if you prefer) at the office.  No Jolt or Red Heifer or whatever the usual high-tech office drink of choice is for the kids at our joint.

    Fresca, and sometimes Brio! The last is a bit of a Canadianism that has a US analogue, I’m sure.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  07:38 PM

  21. Or maybe it’s all the heat generated by Meg Whitman. Somebody should find out.

    Chicka-Wow Chicka-Wow Wow!

    I’ll be able to point proudly to the time I pointed out that Michael Mann was trying to hide the decline.

    Chicka-Wow Chicka-Wow Wow!

    Also, “Fresca” == “limousine lemonade” is the Greatest Thing of All the Internets ... this week.

    Also also, Sam Elliot is spyder’s answer to Stuff One Hates to Run Out Of?  So that’s where Fresca comes from ... Sam Elliot’s captive tears.

    Also also too also, just because there’s all this massive heat waving and hurricaning and Northwest Passaging nowadays doesn’t make AGW true.  Oh no.  Just like with the recent New Zealand earthquake, I have been assured from parental quarters that such things are Signs of the Imminent One-and-a-halfth Coming of Christ.  There really is nothing from empirical reality that cannot be co-opted into the worldview that is going to destroy this country and possibly take the rest of the planet with it.  It’s enough to make me long for something citrusy to add to my seltzer.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  07:51 PM

  22. Peach Citrus Frescaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  08:19 PM

  23. Fresca!  Moi, j’adore le Fresca!  Michael, I have always felt a mystical connection with you and now it is made manifest - we are Fresca brothers.

    Fresca and seltzer, though - I like seltzer with just about anything (have you ever made a maple syrup egg creme?  Or a cold coffee and seltzer?  Or a seltzer mango lassi?) But Fresca is already pretty highly carbonated. Fresca and seltzer seems like gilding the lily.

    I like Fresca and grapefruit juice, myself. Or F and lemonade.  F and orange juice will do in a pinch.

    And if I run out of Fresca, beer and lemonade is good, too.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  09:20 PM

  24. I hate running out of air.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  09:24 PM

  25. Life Breakfast Cereal, because I’m afraid Mikey will wish me into the cornfield if I run out.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  10:00 PM

  26. Fresca fan as well, but can’t drink it anymore as it interferes with cholesterol medication.

    Posted by Randy Paul  on  09/27  at  10:11 PM

  27. Fresca . . . reminds me of being a kid and eating dinner at my grandma’s.  Long gone times, those. And now, without benefit of segue, what do we think of the boon in retro packaging? Have you seen the new/old Mountain Dew cans? Right on the heels of the MM storyline? Sell outs.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  10:26 PM

  28. And now, without benefit of segue

    You can say that again.

    Posted by Jimi Heselden  on  09/27  at  10:59 PM

  29. And you?

    Looking forward to meeting you in central Nassau Co. this week.

    Where we’re livin’ large (captcha).

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  11:19 PM

  30. The original Fresca commercials, with the instant snow storms were really quite well done.  Many a ski day was made fun of by mentioning Fresca.

    Sam Elliot is spyder’s answer. We had this thing back in the day, that led to a couple of other things; but my people stopped calling me.

    Posted by  on  09/27  at  11:43 PM

  31. And it’s Jimi Heseiden FTW!!!

    Posted by  on  09/28  at  01:14 AM

  32. I hope they keep making Fresca, because I fear that I am one of only eight people in North America who buys it.

    Posted by Kitchenaid  on  09/29  at  06:11 AM

  33. Kitchenaid@32: Too soon!

    Posted by  on  09/29  at  06:36 AM

  34. Q:  What’s a segue?
    A:  Oh, about 85 pounds.

    Posted by  on  09/29  at  12:08 PM

  35. A:  Oh, about 85 pounds.

    Well i heard it was 54.4 kilos, but that was outdoors. 

    A thought problem i have been working on, to wit:

    Have we, as a species, begun to reach the endpoint of our imaginations?  What could possibly be unimaginable that we have yet to imagine?  Are we, more appropriately our children’s children, relegated to lacking imagination?

    Posted by  on  09/29  at  04:13 PM

  36. Are we, more appropriately our children’s children, relegated to lacking imagination?

    I’m having a hard time visualizing this outcome.

    Posted by  on  09/29  at  10:43 PM

  37. Since i am already a grandpa (10 times over), it is relatively simple to say “No.” But as i ponder the nature of imagination, and read the works of the academic futurists (versus the marginal wingnuttery), i am also beginning to imagine a time when we humans are no longer capable of processing information, based on the collection of knowledge, as efficient and effective as our AI systems. 

    As i said, i am just processing the problem and have a large volume of intelligence and information i have to review.

    Posted by  on  09/29  at  11:37 PM

  38. because lifeguards do think about Sam… hehe
    Kyle Daniels Mustache Challenge For Charity!
    Dateline: Monday, November 1, 2010
    LACo Ocean Lifeguard, Kyle Daniels, has thrown down the Mustache Challenge starting RIGHT NOW !… November 1st, 2010 ! 
    Join Kyle and his Team:  “Sam Elliott’s My Hero”.

    *** For more details, please see:

    Posted by  on  11/02  at  02:08 AM

  39. coming down to the final MoDown now... Sam Elliot will always be a hero!

    Posted by  on  11/21  at  11:14 PM

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