Now that the C Street CumPalace is being converted into a mosque or maybe a SmashBurger, the opportunistic folks at the National Review has stepped onto the breech to fill the needs of Conservatives who have a need.

A need to spill seed. [Top Gunesque high five!]

So they are promoting their annual 2010 cruise as some kind of Semen At Sea All-U-Can Eat Sexytime Bacchanalia.

Or maybe I’m reading this wrong :

Nope. Definitely a funtime ejaculation vacation for the whole family.

By my count, that is thirty men and only three women, and I’m being generous about the “women” part since I’m not sure Phyllis Schlafly even counts as human anymore, much less as a woman. On the other hand, it would probably be worth the price of admission just to listen to Schlafly order Ramesh Ponnuru around all week (“Boy! Cabin boy! Bring mama a mai tai and I’ll give you a shiny new dime.”) while Rich Lowry cruises the piano bars with his new wingmen: Greg “The Gut” Gutfeld and Jonah ” The Much Bigger Gut” Goldberg.

Later, after losing the Gut Bros. by the chocolate pudding fountain, Lowry will find a few young ladies of, shall we say, playful demeanor who are up for a little role playing involving a Bumpit and a pair of Kawasaki optical frames.

Let’s just say Starbursts everywhere…..

Delaware’s Tea Bagging Senatorial Princess-In-Waiting Christine O’Donnell does not approve of her future constituents behavior/lifestyles/hobbies/reason for living and she wants them to keep their hands to themselves. But not that way.:

O’Donnell has said, for example, that masturbation is wrong, and that looking at pornography is equivalent to cheating on your spouse. She outlined her views in a November 1998 article titled “The Case for Chastity” for Cultural Dissident.

[...]

On an MTV show about abstinence (as summarized by Huffington Post), O’Donnell explained:

The reason that you don’t tell [people] that masturbation is the answer to AIDS and all these other problems that come with sex outside of marriage is because again it is not addressing the issue. … You’re just gonna create somebody who is, I was gonna say, toying with his sexuality. Pardon the pun.

I’m not sure how this will play with her play-with-yourself base but she is no Christine Amphlett, that’s for sure…

Don’t feel like reading stoopid people tonight.

Wembley tries to get a rawhide chewy to play with him  with brief pauses to get that other damn puppy in the mirror to join in. Frustration ensues.