And now, back to my favorite subject!

Lisa has a couple of posts up about porn (and WoW...heh, we are cycling in our geekness!) and since porn is pretty much my favorite thing in the universe and reading other peoples thoughts on it makes me think and all...(forgive the rambly-ness, post neck shot pain meds are making me chatty & loopy!)

But you know what? I actually have a hard time finding porn that suits my tastes? You know, really rough shit that other people are apparently tripping all over in their porn surfing? Not of the BDSM variety, but well, what I like? And as I continue to work on the lowest budget porn flick ever, I am running into all kinds of "can we do that?" sorts of issues....and yes, I must thank the guru Ernest for answering all my "can we do that?" questions...

But see, here is what's getting me all irate and snarky and GAH...

I am making this movie. There are two women in it. I am one of them. All the "can we do that?" questions involve things I, person making the film, woman whom these things will be done unto, actually really, really like. Take, oh, fisting for example. I want fisting to happen in this film. It will be done to me. I dig it. Yet, what with fisting being iffy in the obscene department and the whole people watching such things and going "Oh my that poor woman is being abused!" Well, I, maker of film, who is into being fisted, suspect that while I will film it? Said scene will end up having to be edited out because other people and their universals and all will figure since they don't like fisting, no one likes fisting, and the fistee in said film is just being tortured and abused by some evil pornographer! Nevermind that the poor fistee (who likes it) and the evil pornographer are the same person, and that person is trying to make a movie full of things she personally likes and finds erotic/hot/orgasmy.

Same goes for other things like an ultra rough m/m/f threesome with all kinds of degrading language, watersports, rough oral, spitting, and well, all that other brutal sex stuff that I am into.

And this angers me, y'all. I mean, I always say if people do not like the porn out there, or they can't find porn that appeals to them, they should make the kind of porn that they like. Which is exactly what I am trying to do. Make a porn that speaks to and about my own personal desires and wants out of porn. But I worry about having to hack the thing to pieces because woo, gee, people will get all up in arms and freaky because they think no woman could like what is happening to that poor porn slut in the film...even as said slut is saying "dammit, I am making a flick full of what I enjoy!"

Can you see how that would make one angry and annoyed and all? I mean sure, I do not expect everyone to get off on what I get off on. I don't expect them to like it, or want to do it. But I am not asking them to do it. I just want to make a flick with things I like and want to do in it...express my sexual desire and all. And it looks like I might not be able to do that.

Which blows. Dammit.

Since I am talkin' about porn anyway...

So, the quest to make the lowest budget porn film ever continues. Thus far, I have half a cast, an entire crew, still and film photographers, an editing team, a gopher, two usable and cool locations, and a script that is nearing completion. Cost for this so far? 0$. Hey, when I said I was gonna make the lowest budget porn film ever, I was not kidding. It does help to know a shit load of people who do film crap anyway and are cool enough to say “hey, I’ll help with your project if you can help with mine”. Barter system. I am a big fan. Sage nod of thanks to my low budget porny savior and favorite Mr. Grim. (Inside joke, sorry).

I am still angsting over a female lead. I have one possible prospect, and she would be pretty much perfect for the part, but there is some serious travel involved. I know what I want in that part, and due to the character, I fear that she is actually going to have to be able to act somewhat, and yes, her look is important. The cute 18 year old blonde with big boobs is not going to cut it. I need a more intellectual looking sort who looks as if she could not only shoot you, but has probably attended college and earned a degree in behavioral science. Glasses are actually a bonus. So yes, badass librarian sexy. Heh.

I have most of the male performers taken care of, so that is good. I even picked fellows I think women who might deign to watch porn would find somewhat attractive! Imagine that?

I have noted however that almost everyone cast thus far does have ink. Hummm. Well, I like ink, so that’s okay in my book.

And of course, everything has been pushed back a bit due to having to reschedule my surgery, which sucks, but such is life I suppose.

And no, as of yet, I do not have a title for this endeavor.

It's gonna be a strange next couple of weeks...

Okay, so, a few nights ago came the moment of truth breaking point with the evol money crisis at Casa del Evolution (that, btw, was what I puked about), but there is light at the end of the tunnel, and between help from friends (thanks-y'all), and well, me selling several of my more valuable comics (who knew being a geek would come in handy like that?), it appears that perhaps, just maybe, that light is not an oncoming freight train.

So, went to see the plastic surgeon about the reconstructive work they need to do on my neck. He poked, squeezed (fucking OW!), prodded my scars, so on, and the verdict is the surgery should be easy and I am, quite possibly, the worlds most mellow patient. No, I have never had an allergic reaction to anesthesia, no, it does not make me puke, nor do pain killers. No, never had an allergic reaction to latex. My blood pressure? Perfect. No, I am not afraid of surgery. IV's do not make me panic or puke. No, I have never had any kind of incident with surgery. No, I do not have heart disease, so on, so forth. Yes, I realize I will still have scars, just different looking ones, and that is fine with me, blah blah blah. And yes, it is covered by insurance.

So anyway, knife meets neck on March 27th. When I said I wanted it done as soon as possible I was not actually expecting that soon, but bonus!

So, shortly after that is done (the obligatory few days of being a slug on the couch and not speaking/eating much because hey, my neck has been cut open!) I am heading down to FL to recover more fully...staying at the parents house, because, come on, I am betting I will just get to read and snooze and stuff because I'll have stitches and bruises and all (my parents are suckers for recently sewn together flesh wounds! It makes them all doting and stuff). And oddly enough, really high humidity is actually supposed to help in quicker healing/scar reduction. This will be a road trip, as that is much cheaper, esp. when said parents offer to pay for the gas.

Then, after I get back from FL, I have like, oh, two days, then I am off to Minneapolis again to talk about the sex industry at Hamline University. I guess I did well enough last time at Augsburg to get invited back. Then, I return home again, go back to work, and start on the begining filming stages of the lowest budget porn movie...perhaps ever.

So yeah, for the next month or so, things are going to be busy/odd around here.

Casting.....sucks.

Ah yes, the making of a fuckumentary!

Hum. Okay. So yes, the warehouse we were shooting in (spies! Woohoo!) on Saturday…why yes, whilst doing so, I was asked by the crew if it would be a good place to shoot porn…and well, consider who they were asking….humm, huge, warehouse, industrial as hell, machines everywhere, amazing lighting…why yes! It would be!

As you can imagine, plotting started right then and there. Now, normally, when doing porn, there are things I do not do: Like bother with a plot or dialogue or what not, nor do I have other women in it (you know, exploiting the sisterhood and all…or something). Anyway, for this go around, well, I am going to bravely go where I have not gone before:

I am going to have an actual story amid all the other porny stuff, with a plot, characters, lines and everything, and two, there will be women in it. Two of them aside from me even. I am, you see, actually attempting to make a…film. Not my usual gonzo no plot insanity.

And of course, herein lies the problem. No, not the writing of the story, I pretty much already have a shooting crew together, we’re looking to do this when it warms up a bit, April, May at the outside. The problem comes in with the casting.

Ayep.

Now, I’ve talked to some folk who are interested (I do not waste time, at all, when it comes to this kind of thing) I have a couple of the male roles cast already, and yeah, I’ve talked to a couple of gals who want to do it, are cool to do it, I sit everyone down, go over what will be expected, remind them what this will mean as far as real world/ day job/ so on goes (pst, you will have done a PORN film, saavy?) and yep, sure enough, I have people who are interested, guys and gals, but…

Well, I might as well just roll with the whole I am an asshole after all thing and say it: This isn’t CA or FL y’all. And while I have no problem putting more “normal” looking people in something I film, well, if I am going to be filming it? These people need to be folk that I, at least, do not mind watching fuck. In fact, since this is porn and all, I should enjoy watching them fuck, and other people should want to watch them fuck, ideally, people should want to spend money to watch them fuck.

And yep, I have cast a person or two that, why yes, hell, I like watching them fuck, and suspect other people will as well…but…

Let’s say I do not have the lead female part yet. And while I have had a couple of gals who yeah, were ready, willing and able to play her, wanted to even, thought it would be cool and were down to sign forms and all the legal stuff and absolutely understood the whole “this is a porn” thing?

Umm, nope. No such luck yet. Same for a few of the male parts too. Plenty of interest…but the wanting to watch these people fuck factor? Nope. No desire whatsoever. And yeah, some of these people look fine with the clothes on, the loose jeans on the guys and the pushup bra on the gals, but naked? And sorry, with porn, naked is sort of requirement.

And it’s not that I am too worried yet about not being able to cast parts, I have time and all…

But I hate telling these folk thank you, but no…especially if they then ask why. That is some rough shit, y’all.