Dirty girl

Created by Oatmeal

What I learned today

Finally, a book for me! To wit:

"SAW ME COOKIN' EGGS, SHE THOUGHT I WAS BACK AT IT"
LYRIC FROM SONG: "STUNTIN' LIKE MY DADDY" ON ALBUM: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON BY ARTIST: BIRDMAN AND LIL WAYNE

After spending the night with a woman, waking up in the morning, and making my way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, I was seen standing in front of the stove by my female guest. Rather than investigating the situation to see that I was merely being a good host and cooking a meal for her and myself, she jumped to the conclusion that I was using the skillet in the manufacture of crack cocaine.

What I learned today

In the Little House books, "the character of Nellie [Oleson] was based on three different girls Laura knew in real life. One [Nellie Owens] was a storekeeper's daughter in Walnut Grove; the second [Genevieve Masters] was the first girl's school-yard rival, a spoiled girl from New York (and like the Nellie of the books, she wound up at a school in South Dakota a few years later). The third [Stella Gilbert] was a girl whose family homesteaded outside De Smet and for a while had competed with Laura for Almanzo's attention: she was the one who'd come along on the buggy rides until Laura finally made Almanzo choose, just as she did in These Happy Golden Years. The fact that Nellie wasn't any one person but rather a composite of three of the real Laura's antagonists' worst traits makes her even more terrifying, some kind of blond Frankenstein assembled from assorted bitch parts." ~ from the excellent forthcoming book The Wilder Life: My Adventures in the Lost World of Little House on the Prairie by Wendy McClure

Quote of the week

"Adapting material is like marrying a widow. You have to be very respectful of the late husband's memory, but at some point you've gotta fuck."

~ Guillermo del Toro

An A for effort

The best medicine

Last week I discovered a new (to me, anyway) blog: the "Life Stories" page on the salon.com website. These are brief, slice-of-life tales by ordinary people. I found the page when I was directed there by another site; I wanted to read the full story of "My Relentless Pursuit of the Guy who Robbed Me." I stuck around after finishing it and started checking out other stories on the blog. It took only a minute to realize that what I was enjoying were the headlines, not the articles.

It was like reading tabloid headlines while waiting in line at the supermarket: "My Pen-Pal Romance Went Bad." "My Apartment Was Burglarized and Now I'm Terrified." "How Bedbugs Ruined My Life." "Can I Take a Lover in My 50s?" "My Old High School Friends Won't Go Away." "Is Don Draper to Blame for the Male Makeup Boom?" "The Discovery Channel Gunman Hated 'Jon & Kate' Too." I didn't need to read any of the articles; I was perfectly entertained with the headlines alone. I told Sean about my favorite headline of all: "Why Does My Son Keep Coming Out to Me?" I did read that article, and it's actually rather touching -- the teenage boy in question suffered a severe head injury not long ago and probably can't remember that he has already told his mom he's gay. When Sean heard the premise of the article, he exclaimed, "That is a play or a short film! Send me the link."

Last week I read the best headline EVER on the Vulture website: "Clint Eastwood Wants Joaquin Phoenix to Play J. Edgar Hoover's Lover." I don't think anyone was trying to be amusing with that one, but for some reason I started giggling uncontrollably when I read it.

Maybe I'm just primed for a good laugh. I've been feeling kind of crummy lately, with a stuffy nose and chest congestion that never seem to completely go away, and I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. When I'm overly tired, the first thing that goes is my sense of humor about myself . . . yet I am more prepared than ever to laugh at something that doesn't involve me. That's probably why I decided to reread Charles Portis' delightful novel True Grit instead of picking up West of Here, a new novel coming out next year, like I'd promised the publisher. There's something so comforting about rereading a good book, especially one that's full of laughs and adventure, as True Grit is. I wanted to find a lengthy passage to quote here, but although the book constantly provokes my laughter, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what's so funny about it. There's a dry wit that's difficult to convey out of context. Does "At the city police station we found two officers but they were having a fist fight and were not available for inquiries" seem funny to you? It made me laugh aloud. True Grit was also one of my dad's favorite books, and both he and my mom have been on my mind a lot lately; that might have something to do with my decision to reread this particular book at this particular time.

Then again, maybe it's just that the teaser trailer for the Coen Brothers' new take on the story has just been released. Their movie doesn't look funny at all.

'Nuff said

No dignity

Normally I am opposed to dogs in costumes. Most dogs have little enough dignity as it is, and to rob them of even that tiny bit for the sake of human amusement seems cruel. But damn, this Boston terrier looks adorable in his pumpkin bonnet!