I’m sorry to say that Alaska has the worst drivers in the world. Truly. I lived in SoCal for a number of years and I would take the LA drivers all day long over the Alaska ones. What’s the problem with Alaska drivers? They lack precision. How is this related to writing? Lack of precision in writing is equally frustrating.
- Not using turn signals. Rude, and completely unfair to others trying to navigate the road. Do you signal your intentions for your readers? Is the title for your piece appropriate and likely to give the flavor of where you are heading? Making your readers aware of your intention with the story is courteous and makes for a pleasant reading experience. it also allows them to make decisions for their next move. Do they continue reading or do they yield to other drivers writers?
- Not making full use of the on-ramp. That half mile stretch is designed to allow drivers to get up to highway speed for an easy merge. Are you taking too long to get to your point? Frustrated readers will only hang with this for so long before they blast past you, giving the single-fingered-Alaskan-salute as they thunder by. Readers want action. Give it to them early.
- Driving 50 in the fast lane. Get your story moving or get it the heck off the freeway. If you’re going to play with the big boys and girls then strap in and have your chops up to speed. Never put anything out there that is less than your best work.
- Don’t park like an idiot. If you’re going out into the public, pay attention to how and where you park. Are you taking up two spots while on Twitter or Facebook? Make it easier for other folks to enjoy their trips to these stores by pulling in, getting your business done and then getting the hell out. Promote your writing whilst displaying courtesy to others that may be looking for a spot. Being a parking hog could get you some nasty notes on your windshield.
- Cutting the corner on a left turn. The quickest way to wreck your writing is to cut corners. Shoddy research leads to shoddy writing. Being less than precise with your written words can come back to haunt you. Lazy turns become habit and before you know it, you cut at the wrong time and wind up in the writing ditch.
- Not knowing (or ignoring) the rules of the road. This all encompassing snare gets folks all the time. If you don’t know the rules of the writing road then by God you better learn them. Read up on proper grammar and punctuation. Practice and rewrite as necessary. Like the Officer says, “I didn’t know” is a piss-poor excuse.
So, there’s my take on this. Do yourself a favor and learn to be precise. Don’t be one of “those” drivers.
