Some Things to Hate About Living Here

Here's some more reasons to hate Buffalo if you happen to live in it. Outsiders need not add your two cents we've heard them all anyway. The mayor's kid gets caught shoplifting. Yeah the same one who stole dad's car and wiped out some parked cars near Canisius College but only came forward when the school's spy cameras busted him and he couldn't deny it any longer. Actually, the Buffalo News should know better, what the kid really did is called "sweethearting," and was given as the reason so many of Carl Paladino's Rite Aides flopped in the city. The perp goes to a store where his pal works and said pal gives him a "sweetheart" deal by failing to ring up about half of his items. It only works though when store security guys don't really give a rat's ass about their gigs and in this situation it was not the case.

Also, the $abres, whose owner Godzillionaire and failed political operative Tom Golisano, fled to the tax friendly climes of Florida yet assured us he was still all about the Cup, have let go South Buffalo's own Tim Kennedy. Kennedy's style of play is reminiscent of a guy in Stankey's cafe or Doc's that you would be wise not to to get mouthy with after 11:00 or so on Friday. He is all shoulders, elbows, hustle and knuckles, plus Irish - just what we love in our players here. Well Larry Quinn, fresh from trying to wipe the Bass Pro FAIL from his wingtips announces, or lets the stooge Darcy Regier announce, that the team is over budget and Kennedy is going to be a casualty of the Sabres' purse strings. Funny, they are 5 million under the salary cap yet according to Quinn/Regier et al they are over budget. Wow. And we're supposed to believe that Mr. Paychex is any more serious about a Cup in Buffalo than those chiseling, lying ass Rigases were ? Lindy, please... I still want to kick Bulldog from GR 55 in the nuts because he had Darcy Regier on the ropes in an interview asking why they didn't go after anyone in free agency but then went Bill Buckner and let Regier weasel past. The punchline was that the Sabres simply have no draw or reputation and none of the guys they were after saw any reason to come here, plain and simple. Yahoo another bunch of speedy pussies who won't go into a corner or do stick combat in the slot unless Gaustad is there to protect them, no thanks, Darcy, Lindy, Larry and Tommy.

O.k. finally what about the effing beaches here, B-Lo ? we live on a Great Lake fer Chrissakes, is there a decent beach you can go to for free or for 6 or 7 bucks ? I took the boys today for a ride along Lakeshore Rd, we actually pulled into Bennett Beach a floundering ward of the county. As I parked in the blistering sun I observed what appeared to be about 5 different carnies coming from all directions. Is this vagrant beach ? So I ask the boys whaddya think and they say let's check out Evangola which I had earlier proposed as a possibility. We pay the $6.00 weekday charge per carload and wander down to the water. The area roped off is about as big as Mom's lap pool in the country. The boys seem a little amazed at how tiny a piece of beach we will be allowed to water play in. About 4 feet from shore someone dumped like 8 tons of rocks the size of golf balls, bowling balls, softballs and toes. I wonder if I am partaking in some kind of pseudo spiritual mind over matter ritual but no, it's how the beach is. All the other swimmers are firewalking same as I am. And along the shoreline floats a gnarly, eyeless bloated carp that looks like it took a shotgun blast to the hull. It flaps in the waves and drifts lazily from place to place on the beach. Mike and Ronan are amazed and I want to hurl. The lifeguards are impassive to its existence and make no move to shovel it away. "All I did was make OUT with him," one snaps at her co-hort in the chair, I had totally forgotten about him til you brought him upppp..." Wow. She is going to save uhhhh, my, like liiiiife ? As if... The kids made the best of it but I was pissed at the typically shitty product delivered by New York's State Parks in the form of a crappy, carrion infested rockpile of a beach. Oh I forgot we are supposed to be grateful any of the State Parks are even open because our legislators sold some lemonade and paid a few bills. Connors hot dog stand at least brought their A game as always so at least nobody went away pissed off and hungry too. I am usually a hair cantankerous yes, but I am not one to go to the beach looking for complaints. Today was made in spite of the amenities not with their assistance. Ok I am done now.