First Draft

Friday Bonus Monkey Blogging

Ain't that cute?

Look at the little monkey. Silly little monkey, gettin' groomed with a toothbrush.

Friday Ferretblogging

Puck, being lazy.

 

Riot has feets.

 

A better view of Bucky's stripe.

A.

They Called Us Traitors

All us filthy hippies:

Among the headlines promoted by publisher Thomas Dunne Books: Ridge was never invited to sit in on National Security Council meetings; was “blindsided” by the FBI in morning Oval Office meetings because the agency withheld critical information from him; found his urgings to block Michael Brown from being named head of the emergency agency blamed for the Hurricane Katrina disaster ignored; and was pushed to raise the security alert on the eve of President Bush’s re-election, something he saw as politically motivated and worth resigning over.

Because that's what we were, back in 2004, we Kerry-voting Bush-doubting hippies who couldn't do anything right. We just wanted to undermine the president and so we'd suggest monstrous things, like maybe we weren't in danger of being attacked on the eve of the election, like maybe Bush was quite often talking out his ass when it came to these "terror alerts" and having himself a little funny at the expense of the whole world. Who could even think such a thing? Surely our sick imaginations had their limits.

Apparently my sick imagination did have its limit because while I personally imagined Bush would manipulate the terror alert system for his own political gain, I never imagined him doing it obviously enough to piss off Tom Ridge. You'll notice the manipulation and incompetence had to be blatant to get Ridge riled up. It had to be, you know, not just upping the alert level on the basis of some oldsauce intel from three years ago, it had to be not just fucking up the workdays of like five thousand flight attendants and those poor TSA fuckers and grinding the airports down to a slow trickle, it had to be doing it right before an election.

So fuck Ridge in his ear. It was worth resigning over but not worth saying anything about until now, when he could make a buck off it selling books? Releasing that book on Sept. 1? Why not Sept. 11? Why not go all the way in? What an asshole. He can join a long line of former Bush administration whores at the sink all out damned spot. I mean, you tell us this NOW? Instead of in 2004, when it could have fucking helped? When it was actually happening? Four years more of that chewy little jerk, you gave us, and don't tell me this wouldn't have turned the tide, it was a close election, anything could have turned it, four years in which countless people died and oh, yeah, a whole fucking city drowned, and you could have stopped it?

And you come to us now? Now, when we're this? When we're this shell-shocked, retina-burned national kicked puppy jumping a mile every time the phone rings? When we're unable to open our mouths on TV without eating each other alive? When we can't have a civil debate about anything because a third of us are too cowardly and a third are too stupid and a third are exhausted and just want some ice cream and a nap? You wait until we're this to tell us what you have to tell?

For what possible purpose? To be absolved? Not a chance, you son of a bitch. Nobody who stood around while this crap happened and waited five years to speak up gets to say shit that isn't an apology. I don't care how horrifying Tom Ridge found it all at the time. He kept his mouth shut and he stayed indoors and yeah, maybe he quit, but he sure as hell didn't do it fast enough. I have zero respect. They called us traitors, and we were right, and he and many many others knew it, and didn't say a damn thing till now, when it's just too late for it to do any good.

Schmuck.

A.

Dirty Hippies

As Holden used to ask all the time, why does America hate America?

A.

PBJ Takes Home the Bronze

From 2Millionth Web Log

Last night our guv walked off with third place on Countdown's Worst Person segment, demonstrating sufficient hypocrisy in vying for transit funds he specifically derided during his Kenneth debut last February.

That said, wow but it would be nice if--at long last--passenger rail service was restored between Red Stick and NOLA. Indeed, it's almost enough to make me ignore PBJ's double standard. Almost.

I wonder if the media's going to call him out, or if this gets conveniently swept under the rug. The same media that, in comparison, questioned Barney Frank for getting angry when someone asked if he demonstrated Nazi sympathies in wanting health care reform...

Name Them, Please

Joke:

There are more than a few Democrats who believe, in practice, that government should be run for the benefit of government employees’ unions. There are Democrats who are so solicitous of civil liberties that they would undermine legitimate covert intelligence collection. There are others who mistrust the use of military power under almost any circumstances.

Now, Joke is using these statements to set up a "but some of them are all right, and most of them are better than these other scumbags, so" kind of thing, but it's cheap nonetheless and I'm not willing to give him a pass just because he goes on to say that Republicans are failing in truly epic fashion right now.

Who are these America-hating Democrats, Joey? Can you give me some names? If there are "more than a few," it shouldn't be hard. Who are the Democrats who are so enslaved to the horrible idea of civil liberties (gasp, pearlclutch, faint) that they would make the Baby Jesus cry like that? Who's in the pocket of the teachers' unions (those terrible people) and who's a complete and total pacifist who thinks we should melt down every tank in existence to make swingsets for bin Laden's kids?

I want names put to these slurs because otherwise it's just the usual lame-ass "I'm praising Democrats, but not the pussies or anything, lest you think I am a pussy by extension" trick he and his always play in order to appear "independent." As if it's independent to say one nasty thing and one nice thing. As if that makes any kind of sense.

For what it's worth, I wish we had Democrats who were willing to stand up and say they opposed military action for any purpose whatsoever. I wish we had Democrats who were so loyal to the idea of civil liberties that they were unswayed by any arguments of national security whatsoever. I wish we had Democrats who wanted government run for the benefit of teachers, cops and firefighters. Because then we would have an honest debate in this country, between those people on the end of one extreme, and most "moderate" Republicans on the other.

But we don't have those Democrats and Joe, as usual, is just making shit up about the people who live in his head. It seems like a nice place in there, but I've run out of patience with the guided tours.

A.

Taking Up Oxygen the Rest of Us Could Be Using

Sinfonian explores Alaska morons NOT named Sarah Palin:

Note that Mayor Sullivan didn't say that a majority of people in Anchorage opposed the ordinance -- rather, only the majority of those who contacted the mayor's office opposed it (allegedly). I thought that it was the majority of the legislative body (in this case, the city Assembly) mattered more than who made the most phone calls or wrote the most angry, hate-filled letters and emails, but maybe I'm wrong. After all, Dan probably can see Russia from his office, so it's really not part of America anyway, right?

Also, the basic ignorance of reality in this instance by others who agree with the mayor is shocking even to someone like me, who should be used to the typical Republican aversion to facts by now:

Assembly Chairwoman Debbie Ossiander, a surprise vote against the measure last week, said she hasn't changed her mind.

Ossiander said she doesn't believe it's right to discriminate against gay people. But she said last week she feared that some language in the compromise might force businesses to create special facilities -- unisex bathrooms, for example.

Oh, no, we can't have unisex bathrooms! That's worse than socialism!

I'm so glad Blast Off! is back from hiatus.

A.

Some Genius Shit

Like this, but with less falling off of cliffs.

Oh yeah.  You motherfuckers wanna hear some genius shit?

I got it right here.

I have solved the health care problem. 

That's right.  Me.  I was waking up one morning, and, as Al Swearengen might say, "it come to me in a vision."

This happened before the Congressional recess.  I wish I could have had a direct line to the President right then, because this shit would be over by now. 

To fix health care in this country, and to make sure that our system is the envy of the industrialized world, here's what needs to happen.

First, Obama should sign an executive order suspending the health insurance of all members of Congress.  Included in the order should be the provision that none of the members can accept "donations" of health care services from anyone or any entity. 

Then, all of the Representatives and Senators would have to go and find health coverage for themselves.  Some of them would qualify for Medicare, which would be good, since they would see the value of that program.  All of the others would have to go out and try to secure private insurance.  Of course, there are a few, like Herb Kohl (who, to be fair, has consistently been on the proper side regarding health care), who are wealthy enough to pay out-of-pocket for whatever they need.  But most of them (despite their generous salaries and other resources) would definitely feel a pinch when they needed to see a doctor. 

Finally, it should be a further condition of the executive order that whatever system the members came up with to restore care to themselves should be the same thing that is offered to everyone in the country.

You'd see serious, meaningful health care reform passed pretty quick.  Pretty goddamn quick.  You think that Kent Conrad or Gene Taylor wouldn't get their heads straight after fucking around with a few automated phone menus, or trying to make sense of the myriad of bewildering goddamn forms to fill out, or getting denied coverage for pre-existing conditions?  Shit, even the Republicans would see how fucked that is. 

Here's the beauty of the whole idea: When you expose the decision makers to the same conditions that the majority of people have to face, they suddenly become receptive to the needs of those people. 

It's like the story of the Dutch.  That is, everyone lives in the polders.  When the privileged share the fates of the unprivileged, well, then you don't need high-minded John Donne-type philosophy to convince them that we're all in this together.  Simple, narrow-minded self-interest does the trick. 

See?  Now why am I not the Secretary of Health and Human Services?

Oh, right.  All the swearing.

Fuck.

This World Is Full Of Dipshits

Here's to you, fucktards.
This picture will never be overused, apparently.

Seriously,what the fucking fuck?  Regarding A's remarks about the comments to the article below.  Fuck you people.  Now, quite a few of the comments there expressed shock, sympathy, outrage, and, you know, humanity.  But then you get the stinknuggets who blame a girl for, uh, being in the path of a bullet.  How lovely.  I'm so glad that these people have lived perfect lives, devoid of any tragedy, and that they can look down from their lofty perches to grace us unwashed masses with their omniscience.

In other words: Yeah, fuck 'em.

But there's another story here--one of how I became aware of this poor child's story in the first place.  There was an e-mail circulated at my work this morning imploring us for donations to this girl's recovery fund.  You see, one of her relatives works for the same department I do.  And, as I read this plea, I thought to myself:  Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was some sort of system--you know, some sort of national system that would provide care to people like this girl.  Care for people, so that their relatives wouldn't have to go begging strangers for donations to pay for her recovery.  Wouldn't it be just heaven if there were some sort of, I don't know, national health care system for this girl and her family?

Nah.  Can't have that.  That would be socialcommienazilisticantiamericadocious. 

Oh KILL ME NOW

As if there isn't enough insane bullshit happening.

Join your Washington Nationals from 4:30 to 7:00 p.m. for a unique pregame happy hour followed by on-field action. Nationals Ladies Nights, presented by Hard Times Cafe, feature Nationals players, complimentary massages, manicures, product samples, demonstrations, and food and beverages! Exclusive shopping opportunities: jewelry, handbags, cosmetics and more.

But will there be re-runs of Sex and the City? That's what would lure me to a baseball game. 

Seriously, I don't even like it when they serve food that isn't a hot dog or a bratwurst at a game, much less give people freaking manicures. This is what happens when you tear down all the stinking, sticky shithole stadiums and build these new shiny ballparks. People start thinking they can get away with shit like this.

A.

Newspaper Commenters Really Are Worthless Pieces of Shit

Horrible:

Cherrelle McCray was on the street Wednesday night with her cousin Taccara Swain and another young cousin, ready to go inside to catch their favorite television show, "Meet the Browns," in the two-flat their families share in the Roseland neighborhood.

As Taccara, 15, reached down about 8 p.m. for their 2-year-old cousin to carry her up the stairs, shots sounding like firecrackers pierced the 11000 block of South Normal Avenue, said McCray, 18.

Taccara was struck by three bullets. Police said she was caught in crossfire from someone firing from a car and someone on the street.

"I saw my cousin on the ground and I screamed,'' said McCray. "She was screaming and kicking in pain."

Worse:

In that area, that kid should have BEEN in the house !!!

---

The entire nation is not going to give up their second ammendment rights because some communities have problems. Lets face it, we DO have a culture of violence and illegitimacy and that's the cause of the problem, not guns.

---

People must like the *hood* if they continue to stay in it. With all its violence i can't see any honest citizen wanting to stay in the *hood*. Your kids can't play outSide without getting shot down, you can't get to the store without fearing being robbed or shot down. Stop complaining and move out !!!

Move out. Where, pray tell? To your neighborhood, maybe? Given how welcoming everybody always is? You're sure this family could afford your mortgage, your commute, your school fees and all the little incidentals that come from living in a rich town? You know where they work and know some other place would be just as convenient for them? You know they pay less taxes than you or something and so aren't entitled to the cops the way the rest of us are? Boy, you must know a lot. You must be a fucking genius. You complete and total fucking asshole. You self-righteous, privileged dick. I swear, I have become numb to a lot of stupidity but this kind of smug assumption never fails to boil my blood. Maybe because I used to hear it every day. The fucking verbal shrug we give to other people in pain. "Oh, well, they should just move." They should just do this, they should just do that. Sell some bling, maybe. I bet these people had a big-screen TV. A culture of illegitimacy? Somebody has a baby mama and therefore everybody who remotely looks like them deserves to die? People, I have climbed Mount WTF and planted a WTF flag at the summit.

Once and for all, NOT EVERYBODY CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE. You know nothing about what someone else's circumstances are, and certainly not enough to carp about it in the aftermath of somebody's family getting DEAD. And by the by, last time I checked, bullets went through walls. What would be these people's excuses for not giving a shit if the girl had been indoors in front of the TV? That she should have been doing her homework? That she should have been in bed? It doesn't even get dark by 8 yet, for fuck's sake, and it's summer. I was out last night at 8, driving around in what I'm sure some people would say isn't the best neighborhood on account of it has black people in it, if I got nailed in a drive-by would you say I should have been in the house?

(Of course not, because if I was any more Caucasian I'd be transparent, and therefore I'm not responsible to what some animal might do to me. And that's all this is. And don't come to me with your crime stats and your talk about safety. All this is ever about is creating enough distance between you and the victim so that you don't have to feel bad.)

As in the discussion we had last week about making young women stay inside so they don't become responsible for their own rapes, it is unconscionable to ask people to stay inside so they're not responsible for their own shooting deaths. But that's how we do it, that's how we let ourselves and our public servants off the hook. We make poor people responsible for the fact that the city doesn't serve them, and we sit and watch the evening news go on and on and on about one mugging in a wealthy neighborhood, one break-in in a wealthy neighborhood, one dead kid in a wealthy neighborhood, and say, "Isn't that a tragedy?"

Because if it's not a tragedy when it happens to someone poor and black, if it's just what they should have expected for, you know, existing the way they did, in America, in this city, in the world. 

Hat tip to Jude, who will have more on this later, I'm sure.

A.

Do It

About time. Look, I'm all for this rope-a-dope shit where we try to make the marriage from hell work for a while, but we saw what we got out of it. Crazy people screaming. The Republicans could have marshaled some sort of thoughtful opposition here but they chose to cede the debate to Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck. What they got was every militia-belonging nutball with an AK who wanted to be on TV. So, we're done with that now, and maybe next time we can start out by not even bothering to ask them what they think.

Seriously, it's time to quit screwing around. And the Republicans have done us a favor by making sure opposition to health care reform is a red-faced lunatic with a Hitler sign, in that nobody wants to be that dude. Conrad and Nelson and Lincoln and whoever else is in the asshole caucus these days (Have you noticed we haven't heard shit from Joe Lieberman lately? Isn't that nice?) are about to be on that guy's side.

I don't think this was all planned by the way, this isn't me going, "See, doubters, your weak minds betray you!" or something. I do think, though, that there are worse positions to be in than the one the Democrats find themselves in right now.

A.

When they come back against him, and they will

All Barney Frank is waiting for is for someone to condemn him for ridiculing this "real American," a poor concerned citizen just trying to express her fears.  I hope they do because then he gets to go on television and restate his point even louder: that it is, in fact, obscene, vile, not to mention idiotic, for low-information pissed-off culture warriors to compare a sitting US president on the opposite side of the political spectrum from them with a psychopath who murdered six million humans.

I do not care how angry you are, what life has handed you, how scared you are about what's going on around you. When you do something shameful, you deserve to be shamed for it.

More like this, Democrats. If not this exact behavior, in this spirit. Like you are on the right side of history, like you aren't ashamed to say so.

I So Totally Want To Tongue-Kiss Barney Frank Right Now

A.

The Guns

Via the Crack Den, something Amanda said here caught my attention:

Gun nuts in genuinely rural Texas can afford to be a little more laid back, because their geographic isolation somehow proves their bona fides, but these suburbanite twits have all that much more to prove, because their shiny suburban existence just makes them feel even more emasculated.

It's the idea of guns as status symbols that interests me, because I grew up with and around hunters and I can't say any of them spent a serious amount of time talking about their guns. These were guys who ate what they killed and in some cases that food was integral to feeding their families, and their guns were tools, like a tractor would be to a farmer. The guns had purposes and these guys were no more attached to them than they were repelled by them. They didn't display them for their friends. Only assholes did that, posers, stupid-ass amateurs who got drunk in the deer blinds and fell out every season and broke their ankles and got themselves shot because they were acting dumb. 

Which is why the gun fetishizers annoy me. Having guns for them is like having a really big gas grill for someone else, a way to say to the neighbors that you're one of them, a way to say you're part of something. An acquaintance once displayed a pair of matching Glocks, his and hers, and though I'm not gun-phobic I am show-off-phobic and it struck me as a cheap way of asserting power. Cheap, and unnecessary. I kept wanting to say, "What the hell are you going to do with that, really?"

My brother and I were never allowed, as children, to see our father's gun, much less load or shoot it. If we asked about it, we were told very sternly that guns were not toys for children.Toy guns, for that matter, were also banned in our family. Shooting wasn't funny and it certainly wasn't fun. It wasn't something you did lightly. It was work, not play. Maybe if you see it like that, you're less likely to need to use it to pump up your ego, make yourself feel better, make other people scared.

A.

Print is Dead

If only newspapers could make some money.

A.

The Senate: Appendix or Brain Stem?

One of the more interesting themes to come out of last week's discussion of possible amendments to the Constitution was the idea that the Senate is a crummy institution and ought to be done away with.  I can certainly understand that these days, what with Max Baucus holding health care reform hostage to his monumental ego.

I know the Senate has always gotten a bad rap--it's hard to overcome the idea that it was designed to keep the hoi polloi like you and me from screwing up the government.  But given some of the wacky things that have made it to the floor of the House of Representatives over the years, I have to say I don't mind the stodgy old Senate too much.  To put it in perspective, I offer the ultimate wacky thing that made it to the House:

 

So, is it wise to have a branch of the legislature that by its nature acts as a brake to slow down a rush to bad legislation?  Or is the Senate an inherently conservative body that prevents good legislation from getting passed?  (I know, I know--the world isn't black and white.  But for the sake of argument, it's much easier to pose the question in that way, and allow the middle ground to come out in the discussion.)

For my part, I will say this:  an institution is only as good as the people running it.  My feeling is there isn't a problem in the Senate that couldn't be solved by electing better Senators.  Whether that is possible, however, is an entirely different question.  But it does lead to another question:  is there a way to improve either the electoral process or the structure of the Senate that might help overcome some of the biggest problems in that body?

And more important, is there anything we as citizens can do to help fix it?

Dealing with Protests

Remember when Bush needed 14,000 cops in a country where owning handguns was illegal?

Scotland Yard is in overall charge of security for Mr Bush's visit - which begins on Tuesday - and on Monday said it had increased from 5,000 to 14,000 the number of officers it will have on the streets during the visit.

Mr Bush will also be protected by hundreds of armed guards from the US.

They will not be granted diplomatic immunity, and will be subject to the British legal system if they shoot anybody, the Home Office has promised.

Not that I'm all that nostalgic for the days of presidential thuggery but COME ON, people. Assault rifles at health care events? Just because it's legal doesn't mean you should DO IT.

A.

Shameless shit

I had the line in my head today but damn if Matt Taibbi doesn't bring it:

I’ll say this for George Bush: you’d never have caught him frantically negotiating against himself to take the meat out of a signature legislative initiative just because his approval ratings had a bad summer. Can you imagine Bush and Karl Rove allowing themselves to be paraded through Washington on a leash by some dimwit Republican Senator of a state with six people in it the way the Obama White House this summer is allowing Max Baucus (favorite son of the mighty state of Montana) to frog-march them to a one-term presidency?

To quote Method Man’s Calvin “Cheese” Wagstaff character from The Wire, “This is some shameless shit right here.”

Feeling Nostalgic

From a time of such stupidity one would have thought it could not be surpassed...

.....yet I'm not so sure anymore

The Tyranny of Pretty People

Via HoneyBearKelly, Mad Men and sex and power:

Joan's rape was not a particularly "hard case," as lawyers like to say - in the middle of it HER FIANCE IS HOLDING HER FACE DOWN.  There was nothing subtle about the message, and still, it appears, there are people watching Mad Men who didn't get it.

An even better example of cognitive dissonance in Mad Men's audience happened in last season's famous scene between Don Draper and Bobbie Barrett.  In a stunningly physical display of male domination, Don grabbed Bobbie's hair, inserted his hand into her vagina, and ordered her to compel her husband Jimmy to apologize to his clients.  She complies.

When I watched the scene myself, though, I thought - how masterfully they've set this up!  This is the dark underbelly of Don's charm, revealed!  And they've even set it up so that he's using his sexual dominance of Bobbie to make her do something that will benefit him professionally!  Oh I can't wait to see what people have to say about this!

And the reaction at Jezebel was typical of what I heard in most corners of the internet: shocking - but sexxxaaaaay!

Leaving aside that no one, no matter how influential, can make people perceive his work other than how they wish to perceive it, in part Don Draper gets away with his shit because he's hot. If Freddy Rumsen tried the kind of crap Don pulls, or even Pete Campbell, people would be calling for his head. (I think, I mean, I hear there are women who are into Vincent Kartheiser. I think he looks like an underage porny weasel.) The pretty are forgiven things the way the rich are, and Don is both. The audience is responding to what a smokin' goddamn GQ motherfucker Jon Hamm is in his outfits, but that's part of the skeeve. That someone could look so nice and normal, and like he'd take you dancing, and then do things you couldn't have imagined five minutes before you met him.

Mad Men is, ultimately, about the subversion of power. It's why Joan's rape was played the way it was: That scene would never have had as much impact if it was Peggy, who gets crapped on by life occasionally, or one of the switchboard girls who are like under the entire totem pole, being assaulted. Joan was the girl who had managed to carve out in that office a position of utmost control and power despite being a woman; you can see her, later in that episode, thinking, "I thought I was above being treated like this." She thought she was the exception.

To certain men and a good part of society then and now, of course, you are never above being treated like that, and no matter how much influence you may think you have, no matter how close you think you are to being okay, you can still be brought low just because you're a girl. Just because.

A.

All Of This Has Happened Before

This kind of thing is why I say our national punditry isn't so much biased as it's lazy and stupid. Because historical perspective is one of those things you're supposed to provide in your stories, in your commentary, in your tasks informing the public. Checking the clip file in case this sort of thing has ever occurred before in the world is something you're supposed to have pounded into you as a must-do.

Conservatives have become adept at playing the media for suckers, getting inside the heads of editors and reporters, haunting them with the thought that maybe they are out-of-touch cosmopolitans and that their duty as tribunes of the people's voices means they should treat Obama's creation of "death panels" as just another justiciable political claim. If 1963 were 2009, the woman who assaulted Adlai Stevenson would be getting time on cable news to explain herself. That, not the paranoia itself, makes our present moment uniquely disturbing.

Once upon a time in journalism, it was embarrassing to be played by someone, anyone, with an agenda. Nowadays it's practically a star turn.

A.

Possibly Bill Clinton Could Get Involved

He's good at freeing journalists.

A.

What Oliver Said

Quit getting rolled.

A.

Today on Tommy T's Obsession With The Freeperati - Town Brawl edition

Good Monday morning, gentle people!

As the Freeperati contract away from reality like a slug from salt and retreat into their shrinking fantasy world where everybody thinks just like they do, and nothing's really been right in this country since Leave It To Beaver, it just gets weirder and weirder.

The insularity of this group has reached astounding new heights of late.
They used to proudly take every chance to proclaim that they only listed to or read "conservative"-approved news and opinion.
These days, that's just taken as read.

Lately, (as your humble narrator has observed here) even that's not enough.
LGF, FOX, the RNC, all the old standbys seem  to be out to get them, and no slight (real or imagined) goes unnoticed.
As the crazy contracts into a tighter and tighter ball, I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't something in the "Peak Wingnut" theory after all.

And this singularity of stupid is planning a road trip.
Really.
I expect lights to be snuffed out in several towns when the kook caravan rolls through, sucking the intelligence out of the air as they drive through, encased in their own little bubble of dumbassery.

But in the meantime, let's suit up and open the first drum of mental sludge marked:
"We're all Saul Alinsky now!"

Right-wing group outlines strategy for disrupting political process... (Lib blog's version)
www.knoxviews.com ^ | 08/03/09 | R. Neal

Posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:22:31 PM by TennesseeGirl

Submitted by R. Neal on Mon, 2009/08/03 - 4:13pm.

From a memo re. "best practices" for infiltrating and disrupting town hall meetings on health care reform and energy policy:

• Artificially Inflate Your Numbers: "Spread out in the hall and try to be in the front half. The objective is to put the Rep on the defensive with your questions and follow-up. The Rep should be made to feel that a majority, and if not, a significant portion of at least the audience, opposes the socialist agenda of Washington."

• Be Disruptive Early And Often: "You need to rock-the-boat early in the Rep’s presentation, Watch for an opportunity to yell out and challenge the Rep’s statements early."

• Try To "Rattle Him," Not Have An Intelligent Debate: "The goal is to rattle him, get him off his prepared script and agenda. If he says something outrageous, stand up and shout out and sit right back down. Look for these opportunities before he even takes questions."

Read more about the origin of these tactics at Think Progress...

Freepers : "They're onto us!"‏

To: TennesseeGirl

probably not too hard to “rattle ‘em” since it is impossible to defend the indefensible. Liberals cannot debate when the playing field is level. They loose(sic).

3 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:27:04 PM by el_texicano (Liberals, Socialist, DemocRATS, all touchy, feely, mind numbed robots, useless idiots all!!!)

Unintentional irony alert!
"el_texicano" probably meant to say "Liberals cannot debate when I'm spraying spittle in their faces and shrieking 'DON'T KILL MY GRANDMA!!' at the top of my lungs."

To: TennesseeGirl

0bama told us to “get in their faces!”

4 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:27:04 PM by Boardwalk

..."and I always do everything Obama tells me to."...

To: TennesseeGirl

They are just setting the stage for Dems to claim that the meetings are being hijacked by extremists and stooges of the insurance companies while real Americans want Obamacare. Liberal CYA.

5 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:27:07 PM by Oshkalaboomboom

"They" being Bob MacGuffie from Americans for Prosperity and FreedomWorks, of course.
Damn those sneaky liberals!!

To: TennesseeGirl

Sounds like they’re afraid their tactics will be used against them.

8 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:30:28 PM by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)

Leaving the patent absurdity of that claim (otherwise known as the "He did it first" defense) aside, the embrace of boorishness is interesting.
The only thing I've seen on the left that even resembles what the teabaggers are doing at Town Hall meetings is the occasional shouting match between counter-protestors outside public events.
I have a feeling that if even one liberal activist had ever started screaming and squalling at any town hall event, that isolated incident would have been trumpeted at FR (and the wingnutosphere in general) before you could say "200,000 hits on YouTube".

To: TennesseeGirl

We need to start carrying big clear plastic bags of feathers to the meetings, they’ll get the point!

14 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:39:20 PM by SWAMPSNIPER (THE SECOND AMENDMENT, A MATTER OF FACT, NOT A MATTER OF OPINION)

Better yet, loaded handguns!

Then, a Freeper outs himself:

To: TennesseeGirl

I left them a message - look for Ward Dorrity’s reply. That’s me.

17 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:46:29 PM by Noumenon (Work that AQT - turn ammunition into skill. No tyrant can maintain a 300 yard perimeter forever.)

You guys should know that to me, this is like pheromones to a horny tomcat.

Sauce for the goose...

Submitted by Ward Dorrity (not verified) on Mon, 2009/08/03 - 5:44pm.

You rats hate it when you have your own "Rules for Radicals" thrown back in your dirty little collectivist faces, don't you?

We're just getting started.

I have questions - and a video camera.

I reply:

If you're using Saul

Submitted by Tommy T (not verified) on Mon, 2009/08/03 - 6:15pm.

If you're using Saul Alinsky's playbook, does that mean that you're hypocrites as well as thugs?

From Freeperville:

"Dodd came out later. I was furious

Dodd is getting health care now for his cancer that most Americans WONT be able to get under this plan.

He slowed down his car leaving while we chanted CHRIS DODD, SWIM TO CUBA or chanted DUMP CHRIS DODD

He motioned for me to go over, and I did NOT want to exchange greetings with him. I told him HE should get the same health care as the rest of us and how HE would most likely be denied his own surgery.

He tried to be friendly and ask questions and I refused, I told him he was destroying the country and he waved me off, looked disgusted and drove off.

Yeah, I was angry. Wish I wasn't so."

Go ahead - bring on the Sturmabteilung. It'll just make you look in public like the thugs you are in private.

Tommy

Oh, and by the way, Ward -

Submitted by Tommy T (not verified) on Mon, 2009/08/03 - 6:37pm.

Oh, and by the way, Ward - if you're so anxious to "Go Galt", get off the grid, cash in (your company) Link... for the $5,000 it'll net you, and go live in Galt's gulch. Permanently. Quit using our roads, our parks, our police force, and anything else our bad old taxes pay for.

Freaking couch potato commanders from Freeperville give me the pip.

Oh my! Ward's sucking off the Government teat!!

Submitted by Tommy T (not verified) on Mon, 2009/08/03 - 6:54pm.

...how priceless is THAT?

From his consultation website - references:

"USGS - Geomagnetism Group, Newport, WA and Denver Colorado"

Did that nasty Federal Tax money burn your fingers when you cashed the check, Ward?

And lastly back to FR, just to give the new cast-iron irony meter a workout:

To: TennesseeGirl

I find that when one person or group ascribes motives to another person/group for doing something they don't like, the motive usually says more about the one ascribing it.

12 posted on Monday, August 03, 2009 4:31:54 PM by FourPeas (Why does Professor Presbury's wolfhound, Roy, endeavour to bite him?)

There goes..........annnnnother one!

More after the скачок, друзья !!

Weekend Question Thread

What does your dream house look like?

A.

Saturday Blogwhoring Thread

Post away.

A.

Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome back to the Booster, where we understand both stupid and pain, especially when they come together as one...

Spending a couple extra days in Detroit gave me plenty of time to ponder some QTBS moments. Of course, they’re a half week old, but hey. Thus, I’ve interspersed them here, with a quick * to note the ones written while dealing with this crap. The rest were put together once I got home and was sedated. You might notice a palpable difference…

*From the “Path of least resistance” department: We got off the plane 40 minutes late and yet it was only 7:30, so I figured I had a shot at getting a plane home. Instead, they sent me to a Disneyland line of pain that took me more than an hour to get through, because there were dozens of us totally screwed by North-worst Disoriented.

I get to the front of the line and here’s the conversation:

Customer Rep: “I’ve got you on a 10 a.m. home. You’ll have to spend the night.”
Me: “Is there ANYTHING tonight? Please, I’m trying to get home to see my kid.”
Her: “Nope, sorry. The only thing left is closing the door in five minutes.”
Me: “Where? I’ll run. I don’t even care about my luggage.”
Her: “I’m not sure I can get you on the plane this late.”
Me: “Could you please try?”
Her: “Well, let me see… Uh… Hmm… Uh… I did that wrong… Click… Click… Click… Hmm… Maybe… No… Sorry… Oh, wait… No… I did that wrong… Uh… Hmm… Nope. Sorry. Here’s are some vouchers I printed off for you…”

OK, so let’s forget about the fact we had an hour wait in line for this. It’s the 20 minutes I spent at the counter being jerked around because it was far easier for people to stick us in the airport for a night than to try to get us home that pissed me off.

- Here’s the weirdest conversation I think I’ve had in a long time: The Missus mentioned something about “The Ring” birth control. For some reason, probably the alcohol, my mind went to this scene from Clerks II. I imagined women at an OB/GYN whipping out their “precious” while saying, “One ring to rule them all… One ring to find them… One ring to bring them all… And in the darkness bind them…” Then, of course, there’s the one lady in the corner who is a Randall-style purist who starts in with, “Those things suck, OK? There’s only one thing to put in your vajayjay, alright? And it’s not a stupid ring.” The Missus looked me after we both stopped laughing uncontrollably and said, “The people I work with wonder what it’s like being married to a doctor and a professor. I don’t think they’d believe me if I told them.”

*Hundreds of women all dressed in black suits with mid-thigh skirts and variations on their shirts, all wearing nametags noting they were “$100,000 sellers” or higher were wandering around the airport hotel this morning. I figured PR folks or Tupperware people. Turns out it was a hair removal conference. Who knew there was that kind of money in convincing people that hair shouldn’t be certain places? Of course, there’s just as much money in convincing men they need more hair certain places, so I guess it all evens out.

-From the “Go home, fat boy! You eat all our food!” file: If the Cleveland Clinic had its way, not only would obesity be declared a disease, but they wouldn’t hire the fat folks either. I’m quite certain this guy is collusion with the airlines people, who won’t be happy until we all have the size and bone structure of 4-year-old Ethiopians so they can cram in an extra row of seats. Seriously, I understand the health issues, but can anyone out there with half a brain NOT see a billion lawsuits coming out of this?

*Conversation between me and a lady in the waiting area at the Detroit airport:
Her: Sir, how much was the Diet Coke?
Me: $2.25
Her: I can wait until I get home.
Me: It was $2 in Boston
Her: It was $4 in New York
Me: We’d be better off if we took up smoking.

-Upon getting home to spruce the place up for the Midget’s birthday, I found a giant nest of bees had set up shop under the shed in the far corner of our property. The Missus is horribly allergic to bee stings and one neighbor said they were likely ground wasps, so they would be aggressive. According to the folks who were helping me at Lowes, there were only two ways to really get rid of them: pour gasoline down the hole and then if they don’t drown in the petrol, light it on fire and burn them out. After I explained that it was under the shed and I wasn’t about to start a Wicker Man style ceremony just to get rid of the bees, they told me about another way. Apparently, since these things are aggressive and don’t like stuff near their nest, you can put a bug zapper out there in front of the entrance to the nest. The wasps will then freak out and keep attacking to defend the nest until they all die. Thus, I was out last night with 200 feet of electrical cord running across my yard with a bug zapper, dodging pissed off bugs and trying not to electrocute myself. Ah, home ownership…
UPDATE: The zapper was fun to watch, but it was ultimately a losing effort. The bugs became smarter and started digging a new entrance. I called The Bee Guy and he’s coming out this afternoon. For $125, I hope this does the trick. Otherwise, I’m burning the shed to the ground. I just wish Nicholas Cage were in it…

*OK, from the “read the fucking ticket” file: The plane is filling up and so rather than wade through the massive throng of humanity, I simply waited until everyone else had pretty much gotten on. I had my ticket, it had a seat number on it and it seemed like it should be logical I could sit in my seat. I wander into the plane, only to find some guy and his girlfriend sitting next to each other, one of whom was in my seat. The guy looked up and said, “We worked it out with the lady over there, so you’ve got her seat in aisle 15.” Both were window seats, although the one I was giving up was closer to the front of the plane and in a row of two rather than three. It seemed like a little thing, but when you’d spent the last two days getting fucked around, little things tend to become big things. I told the guy, “Look, it’s my seat. I paid for it. I want it.” Meanwhile the stewardess comes over and tells me I need to sit down. I show her my ticket and explain the situation, meanwhile the guy jumps in with “But we worked it out with that lady over there.” I don’t know what the hell power the airlines had endowed upon the woman in seat 15F, but I somehow doubted that it included seat reassignment. “Please, sir,” the stewardess told me. “Just go to the other seat or we can’t take off.” I was ready to snap and kill three when the guy said, “I don’t know why you need this seat.” How I managed not to kill him was beyond me. Perhaps it was because I didn’t have a drink before getting on the plane. I took the seat about half a plane away, only to be in front of a guy who smelled like piss. I kid you not. He smelled like the Midget’s old diaper pail.

- Went to Target to pick up some of the supplies for the Midget’s party, including an air compressor to blow up her pool. Last year, I moved my feet up and down more than Michael Flatley with restless leg syndrome trying to pump up that damned thing. In any case, the place was overrun with people because The Pathfinders were in town. If you’ve missed this, it’s a giant Jehovah’s Witness convention that takes over the city.  I get to the counter and I’ve got that angry, no-sleep look going on. I’ve got no shave, shades and my “Las Vegas County Jail” shirt on. The woman sees the air compressor and without missing a beat asks, “Oh, an air pump. For air mattresses. Are you with the church group?”

*From the “Toby would be proud” department: After a night of no sleep because I was paranoid I’d miss the flight and be stuck in Detroit until I was 50, I stumbled into the plane, confronted the asshole in my seat, took a shittier seat and tried to sleep. I couldn’t, so I popped on the headphones and eventually drifted off. All of a sudden, I felt a poking on my shoulder. It was the steward or whatever the hell you call male flight folks, pantomiming I should take off my headphones because we were going to land. I looked at the guy and said, “Really? You couldn’t have let me sleep?” “Sorry, sir, it’s for the good of the plane.” Gimme a break. He watched me as I put away my headphones, but after he left I played a word game on my iPhone until we landed. Amazingly, my game of “Scramble” didn’t cause the plane to crash. The last time I was on a plane, I fell asleep with my headphones on and I forgot to turn off my cell phone. No one bothered me and we landed just fine. Just dancin’ with the devil, I’m telling you…

-In case you missed it, Squeaky Fromme was released from prison today. Either the Secret Service is getting better at deterring people like Fromme and Sara Jane Moore or those types of people have decided it’s probably better to bitch about their politics online. Not sure if that means we as Americans have evolved or if we’ve just gotten lazy.

- And finally, from the “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little” department: A guy in Muncie Indiana was arrested after breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s house while she was sleeping and sexually assaulting her after injecting her with a cow tranquilizer. Who the hell thinks like this?

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.

Doc

AP: Giant Hypocrites or TEH GIANTEST HYPOCRITES EVAR?

That seems to be the choice we're facing. At the bottom of a very brief, kind of stupid story about a crime:

Information from: Fort Collins Coloradoan

What information? The whole entire story? The pertinent facts, rewritten hastily to shove out onto the wires? Some of the facts? All of them? The AP, that guardian of our democratic press, that bastion against journalistic malfeasance, does not say.

The Coloradoan is an AP member paper and thus pays the AP to carry its Ron Fournier bullshit content and the AP gets to pick up whatever it wants from the paper's journalists. I hope the AP paid the Coloradoan for the use of its content. If not, I think the Coloradoan should sue.

Especially since their own story was so much richer and well-written and also had a completely different set of numbers than the version the AP put out. 

It is, after all, only a matter of time before the parasite kills the host.

A.

One-Up-Yours

This is one of those weeks I’d like to forget. Seems the folks at North-Worst Disoriented couldn’t manage to get one plane to land in Detroit before any one of three others took off. Thus, I was stuck in one of the top ten murder cities for a night, despite the fact my plane was slated to leave Boston at 4:20 p.m.

When I got home, I had jury duty on the brain. Seems this is the price you pay for trying to make sure we didn’t have four years of Grandpa Cranky and You Betcha running the country. In any case, the first day, I got excused, but the second day, the “Jury Hot Line” told me I’m due. I’ve got a Ph.D., I was a working journalist who covered police and courts, I’ve got no fewer than three immediate family members along with at least a dozen close friends who work or have worked for the PoPo and I can generally tell when I’m being bullshitted. So, I’m going to have to trek my ass down there and be told by two lawyers, “Shit, no, we’re not taking this guy.” (UPDATE: I was right. Gone in less than an hour, and half of that time was watching "the video" that told me how awesome this was gong to be.)

There has been a ton more stuff than that, but that’s not really the point…

Upon Tweeting about my flight experience, I had two decent friends peck back with “If you think you’ve got it bad, look at what happened to these people…” One of them tossed me a link to the story about the 47 people who were trapped on the plane from hell. When I bitched about jury duty, it was the same thing: A friend did the, “If you think you’ve got it bad, I’ve had to go THREE TIMES and to a REAL court where REAL crime happens.”

When people commiserate, I don’t have a problem. I’m not out there trying to tell people I’ve got the worst of something or that I alone have ever had to suffer this level of indignity and woe is me. It’s more of a “Dammit, this sucks. Can I get a witness?” thing. However, why is it people feel the need to go with the one-up thing? Does that make me feel better? No. Does it improve something for them? No. Does it have any value at all? No.

I don’t doubt for one second that there are people out there far worse than me. In fact, if you want to just beat the shit out of me, you can always do the, “Y’know there are kids dying of dysentery in Africa every minute” thing. I’m Catholic. Guilt is biologically etched on all of my chromosomes. Still, I think good friends listen, nod and at least don’t act like general assholes about it by reminding me that I’ve still got my health.

So, if you’d like to tell me you just got a speeding ticket or that you got hit in the head with a shovel or that you were on a flight that crashed into the ocean after sucking a waterfowl into the intake manifold, I’m happy to hear it. Post it below. Know that I’m reading, nodding and I won’t come back with “If you think that’s bad, there was this one time where Richard Gere showed up at my house with three thugs, a 12-pack of gerbils and 500 yards of duct tape…”