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ETHAN MILLER / Getty Images for Studio 54
Illusionist Criss Angel and "Girls Next Door" starlet Holly Madison, shown in happier days, have called it quits.
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Sideshow: A First Dog's been found!

The economic-stimulus thingamajig has yet to be resolved, but Barack Obama has scored a big-time socio-politico-economic coup: A First Dog's been found.

First lady Michelle Obama tells People that a rescued Portuguese water dog will join the White House in April after the first daughters, Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10, return from spring break. The first lady said Sasha couldn't wait. "So Sasha says, 'April 1st.' I said, 'April.' She says, 'April 1st.' It's like, April!" Mrs. Obama said the family was having naming issues. "Oh, the names are really bad. I don't even want to mention it," she said. Names include Frank and Moose, which don't seem bad at all. The first lady said she was taken aback by the level of national attention The Dog Issue has garnered, but said it was "all great and gracious attention. People are just being as helpful as you can imagine."

The Los Angeles Times says Obama's choice will tickle Sen. Ted Kennedy, who owns two Portuguese water dogs.

 

yesterday announced. "[Cooper] has rapidly become one of Hollywood's leading funny men as most recently evidenced in Yes Man and the breakout hit He's Just Not That Into You," Neuhauser said. "ShoWest is honored to be able to recognize Bradley Cooper as its 2009 Comedy Star of the Year." Cooper will be given the award on the final night of ShoWest, which will be held from March 30 to April 2 in Las Vegas. Info: www.showest.com.

 

Hacking up Leona's $$$

Manhattan Surrogate Court Judge Troy Webber yesterday ruled that trustees managing the estate of that beloved, late, great humanitarian Leona Helmsley can chop up her money between a broad range of charities.

Leona, who was - no doubt, ironically - dubbed The Queen of Mean, made one stipulation: that some of the money from the Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Charitable Trust go to the care of dogs. A billionaire New York City hotel goddess, who did a stint in jail for income-tax evasion, Leona died in '07 at the age of 87. Trust rep Howard Rubenstein said he would announce the first grants next month.

 

Love Hewitt: Be yourself!

Ghosts sure don't care if you're thin, chubby, zaftig, pudgy, fat or morbidly obese. So says Ghost Whisperer star Jennifer Love Hewitt, who tells Life & Style Weekly she has had it up to here with the recent wave of media negativity aimed at celeb babes for being too heavy (Jessica Simpson) or too thin (Mischa Barton).

"It's realistic to feel good about yourself and to be as happy as you can be," Jen says. "If it's a size 12, then it's a size 12. . . . Size doesn't matter." The 5-foot-2½ babe does say she's dropped 20 pounds since last April. But she didn't do it out of vanity: "My goal was to be in the best shape I could possibly be in by my 30th birthday," which was Saturday.

 

Mischa: Worry about yourself, pal

Speaking of thin girls, Mischa Barton, best- known for The O.C., says to stop worrying that she's too thin. "Just so you guys know, I'm happier and healthier than ever," she says on her Web site. "Things are really well in Mischa world, and I've just been watching what I eat." Mischa also tells Celebuzz she finds media speculation over her weight totally ridiculous. "One minute, I'm too fat, the next I'm too skinny."

 

The Octuplets files: Cher weighs in

Have you felt that something vital has been missing from the wall-to-wall Octuplets coverage? There's been nary a word from Cher.

Until now. Cher tells Entertainment Tonight she's not very happy with OctoMom Nadya Suleman. "I'm so negative against her. She just shouldn't have any of those children," Cher says. "She acts like someone who is not of this world. It's like, 'Hello, come down to planet earth with the rest of us!' "

 

Sharon takes out Uma's refuse

The New York Daily News says Basic Instinct's Sharon Stone, who never tires of reminding the world she's brave enough to be naked on camera (so brave), may be dating Uma Thurman's man-reject, hotelier Andre Balazs.

The pair hung out Sunday at Chateau Marmont in Tinseltown, says an anon source: "They were on the couch by themselves literally all night. . . . They couldn't have been more into each other."

 

Angel's fall from love

Not even Criss Angel's most angelic spells could save the illusionist-magician- escapologist from falling out with erstwhile girlfriend Girls Next Door starlet Holly Madison, says E!Online. Seems the couple (he's 41, she is 29) made a rational, mature, mutual, friendly decision to give it up. The cause?

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Comments
Posted by USDefender 08:06 AM, 02/26/2009
Good! Neuter the dog quickly. Already have too many mouths to feed...
Posted by fafafooey 08:30 AM, 02/26/2009
0bamassiah sychophants...
Posted by UnionMilkmen 09:25 AM, 02/26/2009
"The First Lady said she was taken aback by the level of national attention the dog issue has garnered" We are just trying to find something positive in this collapsing presidency. (25% Approval rating drop in the first month!)
Posted by Fuh Cough 10:00 AM, 02/26/2009
"All great and gracious attention". That pretty much says it all.
Posted by phlyfumblr 10:14 AM, 02/26/2009
I love how the link is for the Presidential dog but the pictures are of Sharon Stone and Holly Madison... Both dogs in their own right.
Posted by heatmiser 10:42 AM, 02/26/2009
Who cares!
Posted by jackryan823 10:49 AM, 02/26/2009
Since when is taking your clothes off for a living a career? Makes me feel better about my job. Hey I have a career.
Posted by CleanupPhilly 11:31 AM, 02/26/2009
What is up with the paper today -- full of random errors, random cuts of whole articles with big odd spaces between sentence fragments, random hyphenation -- did the editors quit?
Posted by MCD1969 11:48 AM, 02/26/2009
Portuguese water dogs are not the easiest dogs! I hope the first family has some experience with dogs, because otherwise they might regret getting this breed! They are highly active, need lots of exercise. If they don't get that, they can get destructive and we I doubt we have any extra $$$ in that budget to replace the expensive furniture in the White House! Especially a rescued one sounds suspicious, why did the previous owner not love this dog?
Posted by jreese 03:37 PM, 02/26/2009
I heard the dog wasn't even born in America.
Posted by duffers 04:02 PM, 02/26/2009
"collapsing presidency"? Geez you Republicans still can't get over being demolished in November
Posted by sometimesilie 05:52 PM, 02/26/2009
I agree with Union- the record CLEARLY proves that Obama's the Worst. Between starting the war in Iraq, bumbling Katrina, taking the country from surplus to deficit, presiding over a rank politicization of the DoJ, deregulating our way to the worst Recession in years, it's CLEAR he's been a terrible President. Jindal/Palin in '12!!!!!!!!
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