Agitprop: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Propaganda

Pardon Me

Pardon me for putting up this photo, but we’ve got a few last minute things to attend to before the country magically transforms into a land of milk and honey and ponies.

Politico has a piece up today predicting 10 pardons the Dear Leader might issue.  I think they’re wrong on several fronts, including the number of pardons, but here it is:

As the clock ticks down on his presidency, George W. Bush has shown few signs he plans to indulge in the frenzy of last-minute pardons that marked Bill Clinton’s final hours in the Oval Office.

But Bush could quickly leap back into the spotlight in the next two days if he issues a blanket pardon immunizing CIA and military interrogators, as well as their bosses, from criminal prosecution over harsh treatment of prisoners from the war on terror.

Guess Who Was Right About Bush?

via Instaputz:

Mark my words. He will leave office the most unpopular president in history.

Gore Vidal (July 11, 2002)

And, on January 16, 2009, we have this:

(CBS) President Bush will leave office as one of the most unpopular departing presidents in history, according to a new CBS News/New York Times poll showing Mr. Bush’s final approval rating at 22 percent.

Gore Vidal must be with the terrorists.

Vini, Vidi, Vitter

Another day, another GOP wanker :

Today, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted 16-1 to approve President-elect Obama’s nomination of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. Casting the sole “nay” vote was Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), who was concerned about Bill Clinton’s “multimillion dollar minefield of conflicts of interest.” Vitter has long been a Clinton foe, calling on President Clinton to step down in 1998 because of his affair with Monica Lewinsky. In 2007, Vitter also revealed that he had been a client of the D.C. Madam’s escort service, but refused to resign.

Actually, this post is simply an excuse to post what might be the best YouTube video ever: You're welcome.

Vitter Casts Lone Vote Against Hillary Clinton [Think Progress]

Stiffing Sallie Mae

Maybe I can pay off my student loans after all:

A US student has put her virginity up for auction in order to pay for a masters degree.

Bidding for a one-night stand with 22-year-old Natalie Dylan has reached £2.5 million ($3.7 million), rising from offers of £162,000 ($243,000) made when the auction first appeared last September.

Dylan, from San Diego, has a a degree in Women’s Studies and is in the middle of a Family and Marriage therapy masters. She disclosed that her sister Ava convinced her to go through with the auction because she paid for her own degree by working as a prostitute for three weeks.

And yes, I would, in fact, hit it.  I just wouldn’t pay for it.

Student’s Virginity Auction Hits $3.7 Million [China Daily]

Six Random Things

Most of the shit that pisses me off has to do with politics. But don't think for a minute that some nonpolitical happenings don't drive me batshit. So I give you six random things that are pissing me off, and ask you to add your own nonpolitical psychotic hatreds in the comments.

1. Angelina Jolie's uterus - it seems as though Brangelina might be pregnant again - her seventh child (3 are adopted), and her fourth with Brad Pitt. That total does not include the sixty or so third-world children they will likely adopt in the next eighteen months. Enough already. You are annoying people, and your children are likely to spend most of their time on this earth in rehab. Stop reproducing.
 

2. Victoria Osteen - a multimillionaire snake handler, she tells people affected by the economy that she thinks "we could all do better sometimes ... not overextending ourselves." First, this ignorant bitch needs to STFU. Second, she needs to investigate the rumors that her poofy-haired preacher husband is pestorking poolboys in the poolhouse. Just sayin'. 3. Brett Favre - yes I wanted you to come here, yes I wanted you to start every game, and yes, I would be OK with it if you stayed. BUT MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND! NOW! If you decide to go, we've got some scouting to do. Fuckwit drama queen.

4. The Red State Strike Force - Another group of Keyboard Kommandos (aka the 101st Chairborne) that prefers to wage the War of Ideas™ over here rather than risk getting hurt doing the actual work of Empire over there. You can read more about them here, and you can see a more appropriate logo for the group here. And yes - I know it's more or less political, but they really piss me off.
 5. Hugh Hefner - I am eternally grateful to you for thinking up Playboy - it helped get me through puberty. But dude - you're 82. I mean, 19 year-old twins? Most guys half your age would have trouble keeping up with that. And it's just skeevy. Can't you settle down with some hottie in her 30s and get off the stage?

6. Ford Expedition/Lincoln Navigator - face it Ford, anybody who needs a vehicle of this size and class buys a Suburban. These fucking things are ugly, they get abysmal mileage, and you never see them shuttling big shots around. They sent an Expedition for me once instead of a Town Car, and it was uncomfortable and seemed, from the back seat, to handle like a fishing trawler. Make some Fusion Hybrids instead - people will buy that shit.

The Stupid. It Burns.

“Joe” the “Plumber”:

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

Reminds me of Michelle Bachman.

It's a Dessert Topping AND a Floor Wax

I bitched about outsourcing shit to India here and here, so today it’s China’s turn:

Gary Leong knew things weren’t right during a recent tour of a Chinese plant when he witnessed workers manufacturing glucosamine sulfate to relieve joint discomfort in the morning and fertilizer to help plants grow in the afternoon - using the same equipment.

Not only do my joints feel great, I’ve grown 2 inches!

satyam means truth

Yesterday I posted on the Satyam fraud - Satyam is an Indian outsourcing company.  Pricewaterhouse Coopers is Satyam’s auditor.  And because PwC missed the $1 billion elephant in the room, they might have a problem:

PwC said it was examining [Chairman and CEO] Raju’s statement but could not comment further due to confidentiality issues.

The fraud could cause problems for PwC. Since Satyam was listed in the US, investors can turn to the courts there for recompense, and there are legal precedents for holding auditors accountable.

I love the smell of litigation in the morning.

$1 Billion Fraud at India IT Group [FT]

Outsource This!

The contract jobs I work on have been outsourced in part, mostly to India.  That’s why this warms my cynical black heart:

NEW DELHI — Satyam Computer Services, a leading Indian outsourcing company that serves more than a third of the Fortune 500 companies, significantly inflated its earnings and assets for years, the chairman and co-founder said Wednesday, roiling Indian stock markets and throwing the industry into turmoil.

Sweet.

The Poodle

Guess who’s getting a Medal of Freedom?

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair will receive the highest civilian award in the US - the Presidential Medal of Freedom - next week.

In his last week in office, President Bush will award the medal to Mr Blair, former Australian PM John Howard and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe.

All three leaders had been “staunch allies” of the US, particularly against terrorism, said the White House.

I am enraged.  And he has 2 more weeks to keep doing this shit.  The Dear Leader has made everything in this country valueless. 

Blair to Get US Medal of Freedom [BBC]