Our hearts go out to all those affected by the attacks in Mumbai. Bastard.logic has a list of resources.

Cecelia at Ojibway Migisi Bineshii gives her view of Thanksgiving, and Renee asks, "what are we really giving thanks for?"

Nezua on men who don the traditional costume of Zapotec women in southern Mexico, and constructions of Mexican masculinity.

The situation in Gaza has gotten really bad.

Shark-Fu on Nebraska's safe haven law, which allows parents to drop off children of any age, not just infants.

Horrible news: Jdimytai Damour, a Long Island Wal-Mart employee, was trampled to death on Friday. As Matt says, "Talk about a great reason to celebrate Buy Nothing Day."

Is the New York State senate backing away from its pledge to enact same-sex marriage rights?

Edith Kent, the first woman to receive equal pay in Britain, turned 100.

On anti-domestic violence programs that meet victims where they're comfortable.

Obama will reportedly wait until 2010 to remedy the fact that gay Americans cannot serve openly in the military. Dana Goldstein has more.

Toni Morrison talks to the Times about her new book.

Roy on a new twist on shaming women's bodies. More at Sociological Images.

Conservatives are freaking out because Planned Parenthood in Indiana is offering gift certificates. Granted, a pap smear is not the most exciting Christmas gift I can think of, but it sure is practical. Oh, wait -- you mean they're claiming these are going to be used for abortions? As if that's all Planned Parenthood does? I'm shocked.

Two different takes on seeing family this time of year...

from SLB at Post Bourgie:

Whenever I go back there, I never quite know what to say. How do you answer for why you're not in one of those townhomes? You, who insisted on going around the mulberry bush to get a couple of degrees instead of just stacking paper at the post office right out of high school? How do you return to a school reunion and tell your homeowning, child-rearing former classmates that you live on your fam's couch while you're building your curriculum vitae?

and from Antigone at PunkAssBlog:

Unpleasant aspects number two: This has been a problem for awhile now, but now that Hubby and I are married, it's put into even sharper relief: where are we going to spend Christmas? The various families all want us at their houses*, which are functionally on the other end of the country. The worst part of all of this? I don't want to go to ANY of the family for Christmas; because by some sort of unspoken contract that I was not a party to, we are only allowed to talk about: the weather, sports, new births, new relationships (on a very shallow level, and no talking about heartbreak), new jobs and food. Oh, and I'm no longer allowed to talk about the weather because I keep using meteorological terms and I brought up global warming once. I'm also forbidden from talking about, in no particular order: politics, books, movies, social movements, college, and the biggest one: religion.

Sure, you can go home again. But for some of us, it's pretty damn uncomfortable.

If only you knew Betty, if only you knew...

This is a stark reminder: women smokers lose 14.5 years off their life span.

I'm going to disclose a little, shameful secret: I'm a smoker. Well, not your average pack-of-cigarettes-a-day smoker, but depending on my stress level, I can be a pack-of-cigarettes-a-week smoker. And I hate it. I've been smoking casually, socially, whatever you want to call it, for over 10 years.

But that "I'm a social smoker" excuse is a complete cop-out. I'm in the process of trying to quit, and if you're a smoker, this is a great time to kick the gross-ass habit too. Reasons? Gee, let's see...

Are there any former smokers out there who can share their quitting stories? I know I can use all the help I can get.

The late Herb Ritts' piece with Derek and Drew Riker.

I went to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) OUTAuction 2008 earlier this week, and it was pretty damn awesome. In fact, it was so awesome it raised over $135,000!

I've always been a huge fan of (and occasional attempted maker of) art, so this was quite the treat for me. While the auction had pieces by the famous Pablo Picasso and Marc Chagall, some of the newer artists were pretty phenomenal. Check out the winners of the Best Emerging Artists on GLAAD's blog.

This is pretty appalling. An Illinois woman is suing Waukegan radio station WXLC for being sexually assaulted on a "date" she won from one of their contests.

The station promoted Travis Harvey as a "great" and "kind" guy in their challenge, "Win a Date with Travis," which she ended up getting after being asked a series of questions by Harvey along with other contestants. So after being tested and judged as to whether she was an adequate "date" for the bachelor, Harvey invited her to his house on the night of their oh-so-special date where he drugged and raped her.

And this all happened despite the fact that Harvey had a record, which the station failed to find out:

Baizer [the rape survivor's attorney] said Harvey had previously been convicted twice of violating a domestic violence order of protection taken out by another woman. The radio station was negligent for not checking Harvey's record, and for promoting him as a safe--and desirable--date, the suit alleges.

To top it off, Harvey himself was only charged with criminal sexual abuse and is just serving probation for a measly year. (Since there was no physical evidence.) *Fuming*

h/t to Veronica.

The latest by fabulous Mikhaela Reid.

Click here for a larger version.

Not the massacre of native people "Happy Thanksgiving," but the thankful for our lives and communities and feminism and progress "Happy Thanksgiving." We're certainly deeply grateful for all of our readers and community posters--you all make this space truly alive and dynamic.

And, thus, feminism alive and dynamic. I'll drink a glass of wine and eat some mac n' cheese to that lovely thought.

By the way, we're taking the day off and will be back tomorrow with limited posting.

I am not totally sure how to respond to this commentary on CNN about Michelle Obama's choice to stay at home during the presidency of Barack Obama. I don't want to be too hard on it, because I do think on one level highlighting that there are also women of color that stay at home and sometimes feel isolated and alienated so they should build relationships, well that is great. Having the resources to be a stay at home is even better. However, suggesting that you should stay home to do it for the betterment of the country and to uphold traditional values-well that is just not OK.

She makes an apt argument about black women taking care of wealthy white people's children.

From breast-feeding to bathing to rocking them, the women tended their owners' children, while not being allowed to lavish such attention on their own. Long after slavery was over, little changed in this dynamic.

It was common for black women to leave their own children at home to fend for themselves and go to work for low wages as domestics in the homes of well-off white families. As African-Americans have gotten more opportunities, a college degree has been a ticket to the career ladder. Period. Devoting full time to motherhood is considered a waste of education by many in the black community.

And while I think there is some cultural impetus for black women working outside the home, I think more times than not, it is class privilege that gives people the ability or idea to "stay at home."

Outside of the class assumptions behind the idea of the "stay-at-home" mom, I don't necessarily think that Michelle Obama's choice to stay home is a win for us women of color that are just looking for a role model to let us know we can stay at home nor does it disrupt the racist idea that only white women stay at home. I think it feeds into antiquated notions of motherhood that make her more palatable to a wide audience suggesting that yes, she disrupts the idea of the "normal" American by being black, but is as American as apple pie, by staying in the home.

via CNN.

A reader writes in...

I went to the OBGYN for a check up, and while I was cooling my feet for two hours waiting for the doctor, I found myself staring at multiple shiny pamphlets advertising laser surgery, microdermabrasion, and botox. In an OBGYN office.

Then I found out that this Laser Surgery place shares all its rooms with the OBGYN. I feel like the two practices are completely antithetical. One should create a nonjudgemental, private, safe and caring environment. The other preys on negative self-image and unbalanced expectations for women's appearance. I felt outraged that they felt it was a good partnership.

Has anyone else found supposedly caring places for women sabotaged?

Yuck. Hopefully this is not a widespread trend.

A class-action suit against New York City for refusing to provide food stamps to nearly 9,500 households was settled back in 2006, but the reimbursements are just going out now:

The payback does not quite amount to winning the lottery -- the 18 largest reimbursements just top $5,000, and most average far less. And all of the credits can be used only for food.

Still, to many who had given up on or forgotten what they were owed, the money in their accounts, some of which arrived before any notice from the government to explain it, has been a rare moment of bounty at an otherwise dismal economic moment.

Monica Ryan learned of her good fortune when she went to her corner bodega in northern Manhattan to buy bread and milk. She was picking up just the necessities because she was conscious of having less than $5 in her account. But when the clerk swiped her card, it appeared that she had hundreds left.

Yeah, it's awful that it took this long for the money to come through. But at least it's some good news for a Thanksgiving when too many people are struggling.

Thanks to Susan for the link.