Extra-credit question

Identify the country in which “the biggest and most socialist government intervention in economic affairs since the formation of the Soviet Union and Communist China recently occurred.”

[Hint: It’s not Hugo Chavez’s Venezuela.]

Via.

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Piggy-wiggy-wiggy-wiggy-woo

I am not pignacious by nature, but when the national media as well as the usual rightwing suspects go off their Purina rat chow because they willfully choose to misinterpret Barack Obama’s use of a worn-out, agrarian-age idiom -- putting lipstick on a pig -- I am more convinced than ever that this republic is officially on life support and the power's about to be cut.

As I suggested elsewhere, all lefty bloggers and commenters should use the pig-lipstick expression (and variants) as often as possible until the election. Why? Oh, fuck, why not. We have to find some way to amuse ourselves while awaiting the total collapse of our country.

Here’s what I’ve got so far. Leave your contributions in Comments and I’ll include them in Updates.


__ Putting lipstick on a pig is a skill Sarah Palin practices several times daily.

__ Bush’s efforts to shore up his legacy is like putting lipstick on the wrong end of a pig.

__ McCain’s flip-flopping on crucial issues is akin to a pig trying to select the most flattering shade of lipstick.

__ “Pig-lipsticking happens.” -- Rummy Pig

__ “Goodbye from the world’s biggest lipstick-wearing pig!” -- Dubya Pig

__ “The Geneva Convention does not apply to pigs who wear lipstick.” -- Yoo Pig

__ "[Palin‘s] already shown that she can shoot the pig, put lipstick on it, bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.” -- From Mo Pig‘s Pigmalion-themed column

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Things I just learned I didn’t know: Special flag-o-rama edition

This is an American flag, and as such it should be ceremonially burned or buried at the end of its useful life. If you can figure how to do this without burning or burying your computer, please let me know.

I’m not making this up. This is according to the Flag Code, which states that a flag is a flag or anything "by which the average person seeing the same without deliberation may believe the same to represent the flag." I checked all this out after the DNC versus RNC US flag fracas got me wondering: By definition, when does an object become a US flag? Well, if you’re like me and thought a flag was a piece of woven cloth 3 x 5 feet or larger, you’re wrong.

Thus, at the end of their useful lives, all those flag lapel pins, magnetic flags, military flag patches, flag bumper stickers, flag key chains, flag ties, flag T shirts, flag dew-rags, flag cake decorations, crepe paper flags, flag postage stamps, the animated flag in this post, all other flag doodads, and, yes, actual flags that had been flown at the top of flag poles should be taken to the local VFW or American Legion chapter, Elks Lodge, or Knights of Columbus for the appropriate burning/burial ceremony.

Life just got that much more complicated.

Also of note: There is only one US flag that is never flown at half-mast. It’s the one on the Moon.

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More likely than not, you're funding Sarah Palin's gubernatorial snottiness

As a tax-harassed New Jerseyan, I don’t want to hear this bogus crap about how the scrappy and feisty eater-of-moose-testicles Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska beat her state’s budget (which is running huge surpluses) into submission. First of all, there’s all that oil money. Second of all -- and this is where I have to watch my blood pressure, Alaska gets lots and lots of money from the federal government while New Jersey does not.

This is most readily demonstrated in the statistics documenting how much federal spending a state receives per dollar of federal tax paid.

In 2005,* Alaska received $1.84 back from the federal government for every $1 in tax paid.

In 2005, New Jersey received 61 cents back from the federal government for every $1 in tax paid.

It sucks to be a New Jersey taxpayer.

In fact, for nearly 30 years, New Jersey has ranked, with one exception, 49th and 50th on federal spending for each tax dollar paid. The exception was the year we zoomed all the way up to 48th. Alaska’s ranking has varied widely over the same period, but from 1997 to 2005, it has ranked 6th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd, and 3rd, respectively.

It really sucks to be a New Jersey taxpayer who's been supporting Alaska's sorry mosquito-bitten ass all these years.

Since 1997, Alaska has received anywhere from $1.84 to $1.34 in federal spending for each dollar of tax paid. In comparison, since 1997 New Jersey has received anywhere from 71 cents to 61 cents in federal spending for each dollar of tax paid.

What I want to know is this: If Alaska is running huge budget surpluses, why is the state still getting so much money back from the federal government?





*The most recent year for which data are available.

For extra fun or plain aggravation, go check out your own state’s federal give-give back rankings here.

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We are all preggers now

Phoenix Woman over at FireDogLake has started a Sarah Palin Goodbye Watch. Stop by and officially declare the date and time you think Gov. Palin will tearfully withdraw from the Republican ticket. Some commenters also are helpfully suggesting names for Bristol’s baby. High on my list are Ammo, Whoops, Travesty, Job 3:28, and Masters Johnston.

The inimitable and not-pop-culture-deficient James Wolcott comments thusly:

Say what you will about Al and Peggy Bundy, slovenly occupying the sofa lo those many seasons on Married with Children, but they negligently raised a fine, slutty, airhead, bare-midriff daughter--I speak of course of Christina Applegate's divine Kelly -- who managed to make it through her teen years without a baby in tow. Which is more than can be said for the unfortunate daughter of the Republican Party's poster mom for abstinence only.

And the usually staid and circumspect Arthur Silber gives in to the thrill of it all.

I have to say that, considering the Republican and Democratic presidential candidates are war criminals, this campaign is much more entertaining than I had expected. (I wasn't the one who said they're war criminals, not this time. Al Gore did. Of course, neither Gore nor anyone else seems to have realized that is what he said, which is in large part the subject of that post.) It's as if every demon in the American psyche has been let loose. Racism, sexism, classism, love of war and slaughter, general mayhem and madness -- hell, it's like an old movie ad that screamed, "HERE'S THE ONE THAT FINALLY HAS EVERYTHING!" Sure, it's variously horrifying, shocking, and sickening -- and it's obliterating stupid almost all the time -- but you gotta admit, that's entertainment! Laugh at the nightmare and the nightmare laughs back! Then it kills you.

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Karma minds

I am only human and I am not in charge of karma. So when the vehemently abstinence-only, creationism-friendly, rookie-plus-six months Republican governor of a small state who stunningly has just been picked as the VP candiate reveals that her 17-year-old daughter is oopsie pregnant, please don’t tell me that I have to be mature about this. Let me take a few moments to, ah, reflect upon the situation… and to shudder when evil witch Phyllis Schlafly cackles about the young couple "liv[ing] happily ever after”… and to wonder what it must be like to be a pregnant 17-year-old and know that Bill Bennett, Bill O’Reilly, John McCain, and a lot of other skeevy old guys on national TeeVee are thinking and talking about your sex life.

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Pathetic

Freeper reg45 (his suit size perhaps?) maintains that some of the seats at Invesco Field were filled with rubber dummies to make the attendance for Obama‘s speech look better than it was. The rest of the seats, says reg45, were filled with "just plain dummies.” Either of which, of course, would have higher IQs, greater verbal skills, and more charm than Dubya and considerably more genuine maverickness than John McCain.

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