I get a big ol' kick outta House; and Fringe, which now follows and gets the benefit of the House audience, is the stupidest piece of shit I've seen in a long while. here's a hidden clue Fringe writers, ouy ucks. you couldn't hit drama or wit if it was a wet split beaver and you were John C. Holmes. ...and the Fringe promos subject one to a montage of these ne plus ultra stupid quips, asides, dramatic punchlines and creepy-gory freeze-frames. they're offering you a piece of crappy $3 frozen pizza and to whet your appetite they show you a little movie of a cat puking on it.
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October 10

1780 - The Great Hurricane of 1780 kills 20,000-30,000 in the Caribbean. Nobody laughed.

1910 - Tau Epsilon Phi Fraternity is established at Columbia University. A few frat rats giggled as they hazed the pledges.

1938 - The Munich Agreement cedes the Sudetenland to Nazi Germany. Nazis were highly amused.

1969 - King Crimson releases their debut album, In the Court of the Crimson King, considered by many to be the first progressive rock album. A few laughed, among them some Zappa fans who knew that Lumpy Gravy was released in 1967, but they still dug it. Fripp rulz!

2008 - The countdown begins: 100 days left in the Bush Presidency. Along the way. there has been much "elitist" laughter when he said stupid things like "I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office," and there will certainly be a few more laughs, but nobody laughs all the way to the bank anymore, because all the banks are closed.

The Cadillacs' Bailout Plan

"Please Mr. Johnson"

Let's Roll!

Let's Roll!



Let's Roll!



Let's Roll!



Let's Roll!



Lets'Roll!









political, cartoons,political cartoons, parody, satire, Republicans, GOP, Iraq, War, Theocracy, Bush, Cheney, comics, comic strips, McCain,webcomic

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Palin to Karsai: 'U.N. is totally awesome!'

"Starve The Beast"

Cynically, the Bush Administration has accomplished a stated goal. Grover Norquist said it aloud: “My goal is to cut government in half in twenty-five years, to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.”

The trickle-down we've all been waiting for all these years has now arrived, in the form of a $700 billion invoice - more than the annual budget, including deficits, more than the entire cost of the Iraq War. Now there will be no health care, no repair of the infrastructure, no money for alternative energy research, because there will be no money left at all. This has been the goal of conservative Republicans all along - so, if you run into one, be sure to congratulate him. For them, it's kinda like winning the Super Bowl. For us, well, "Blow out your candles, Laura."

Tomorrow

The Big Question Answered

Can McCain Carry White Women?

It's all so typical that it should take some heavy convincing - George W Bush doing the rah rah... We've got to act now and act fast or we're all gonna die, or at least wish we were dead. Saddam may be days away from deploying a nuklear bomb, let's go let's go, and furthermore, let's roll. Bittersweet memories. Bush is the guy with one song who always slays on karaoke night - yeah, Eddie, I didn't think it could thrill me again but then when he gets that look on his face I feel the shivers and I leaves a pantload. It's better than junk, and free too, just so hard to score. See you Dems, you didn't listen too good to what I said this weekend, too much lollygaggin, gummin things up here. You gents got my package passed yet? Huh-uh? Son of a bitch. Dow done dropped a few hundred more points while you were out there pickin your ass. Did I say 700 billion bucks? Probably up to 730, 740 by now, I'll let the people know where to send your thank you note. I don't know, Eddie, he tells me seven bills, in and out, fix the economy up enough to make it look good on the teevee. Only he needs the money now, and I don't know what the fuck I'm purchasing... It's like buying protection from the mob. Gimme your money and we won't burn down your store - this month. I mean, shouldn't I get a little more for my money than that? And shouldn't I get a chance to see what's going on under the hood. Yeah, I know, I'm mixing my metaphors, look out Eddie, I'm gonna be sick.

economy turn thu corner

Economy done turned off Wall Street. Saw it headin on down 4th towards Main. Economy glance at uh cheap J.C. Penny's wristwatch and make uh quick stop at Louie's Sub Shop for uh tuna fish on rye and uh hot cuppa coffee. Economy want to take uh leak, but the toilet's overflowed so thu Economy suck it up and walk on down thu street. Couple hookers try to catch Economy's eye, but Economy don't have time for none of that nonsense. Economy wants to get uh buzz on quick, and only got about five minutes to meet thu Man. Coffee ran right through Economy. Gotta go real bad, so Economy ducks into thu alley and pee behind thu dumpster. Then Economy turns thu corner and sees thu Man comin up Main Street, right on time.

More Evidence Of Sarah Palin's Foreign Policy Credentials

Comments From Left Field , on charges being dropped against Democracy Now journalists.


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19 Percent?

What?
HITLER had a higher approval rating than that!
In London!
During the Blitz!

borrowing from Peter to pay Paulson

a good summary and analysis here and this is good

Chris Dodd is busy, suckin' on the Paulson Penis (which is of course the bush penis poking through Paulson's legs) (and since bush and Dodd are co-owners of a corporate cock, Dodd is in effect suckin' himself off)
.

have I mentioned lately that WHSTWOGWB?

fungible

Disturbing Vision

I drift into dreamland. A enormous mass of oily fungus appears, resembling the old sci-fi critter The Blob, only green, and hovers over the Shanghai stock exchange and slowly descends. As it gets closer, its inner structure, individual cells separated by glucosamine polymer chitins is revealed. Closer, then strands of DNA are visible, becoming ever larger until polymers of individual molecules wearing nondescript flag pins dominate the night sky. They seem to possess no sense of direction. For the moment, they do not know where they have been or where they are going.

The blob teleports to Congress. The molecules have shrunk and easily take over the brains of Congressmen, who immediately break for lunch, having become suddenly overcome with otherworldly hunger. They order massive salads with viniagrette, because they crave the oil in the dressing. They consume ravenously at the never-ending salad bar, then ask for doggie bags.

But, as they scoop greedily at the mesclun and romaine, the mind-possessing fungi will not allow them to let go of the doggie bags, which have now inflated to the size of weather balloons and threaten them with suffocation. Nancy Pelosi begins to turn blue, uselessly flailing at her bag as it covers her face, blocking her mouth and nostrils.

But, just as all seems hopeless, the fungi take control over the doggie bags. The bags begin to throb as the battle for life has suddenly turned dramatically, putting them on the defensive. Their throbbing escalates to desperate pumping, ending in the convulsive dance of death as all their energy flows into domestic markets.

Domestic markets? Huh? I awake in a confused cold sweat. I made a mental note never to reveal my vision to anyone, lest they think I've gone mad. But today I read this statement from Sarah Palin and realized I was not alone:

"Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the
molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress
today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need
that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do also, is not to
allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans who get stuck holding
the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got
to flow into our domestic markets first."

we should totally buy $700 billion worth of shit futures

I had never thought to try the 'give me a boatload of money and fuck you' approach. well here goes: large bills only and kiss my ass.

.

President Bush

Has done more, in just two short weeks, to advance socialism in America than FDR could accomplish in 3 terms.

Sarah Palin is an expert

Sarah Palin is an expert on telecommunications because she can hear the TV from her tanning bed

Sarah Palin is an expert on finance because her Christmas club account is fully funded

Sarah Palin is an expert on the judiciary because her husband received a subpoena and she looked at it

Sarah Palin is an expert on NASA because she's made love by moonlight

Sarah Palin is an expert on western water rights, refrigeration technology, and the citrus industry because she ordered ice water with a lemon wedge in a Phoenix restaurant

Sarah Palin is an expert on international trade because her favorite blouse was made in Indonesia

Sarah Palin is an expert on our nation's health care system because she's a mother and has fixed many boo boos.

Sarah Palin is an expert on noo-klee-er power because with only a little help she can pronounce it

Sarah Palin is an expert on education because she attended five universities to get her sports journalism degree. (with a minor in "knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of Americaism.")
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Attention "everyday Americans" ...

Chutzpah shortage averted: republicans propose $700 billion no strings giveaway to whoever they want, warn Democrats not to overreach:

"Some Congressional Republicans warned Democrats not to overreach. “The administration has put forward a plan to help the American people, and it is now incumbent on Congress to work together to solve this crisis,” said Representative John A. Boehner of Ohio, the Republican leader.
Mr. Boehner added: “Efforts to exploit this crisis for political leverage or partisan quid pro quo will only delay the economic stability that families, seniors, and small businesses deserve.”
...Mindful of a potential political fight, Mr. Paulson and Mr. Bernanke held a series of conference calls with members of Congress on Friday to begin convincing them that action was needed not just to help Wall Street but everyday Americans as well."

seems a bit odd that the phrase "working through the weekend" when applied to administration officials and congress is afforded the same breathless seriousness as "sacrifice your first born child".
.

Yesterday I caught a sound byte from an OJ item running on a TV that I wasn't watching. It had a good ring to it.

The man said "Everything was going fine until somebody pulled out a gun," and I thought, 'isn't that always the case?'.

(There is a cat on the handle of the gun) Below: John Cale & Siouxsie 'Gun'

Nude Michael Warns, Bug Eyed and Painless

when a republican says "bold" solution/plan/approach, grab your wallet and run

step 1. hey look a problem

step 2. boldly drop mountain of bold magic money on problem

step 3. hey look a problem

step 4. boldly dynamite the bold magic money reservoir

step 5. move government from D.C. to Boulder, Colorado

step 6. hey look a problem

....this one here is so fucking bold ya can't fucking believe it

"Paulson says bold approach needed to end crisis"

"Paulson says he, congressional leaders will work through weekend on bold plan to end crisis"

"Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson on Friday sketched the outlines of a bold approach to confront the nation's financial crisis."

"I am convinced that this bold approach will cost American families far less than the alternative — a continuing series of financial institution failures and frozen credit markets unable to fund economic expansion," Paulson said.


soooooooo, how are we liking the new republican corporate socialism? bold enough for ya?
.

Have You Heard? - Bush Has An MBA! - From HARVARD!

So sleep comfortably tonight!

Meet Michael Warns

Nuts disrupted today's Obama rally. I'm sorry, sometimes there's just no nice way to put it. A group of protestors going under the name of 'Blacks Against Obama' disrupted Obama's appearance at a rally on women's issues, chanting and waving signs sporting verbiage like 'Jesse Jackson hates Barack Obama' and 'the KKK supports Barack Obama'. Dubious points, to say the least, but who were those people? Google couldn't find a mention of this group older than today, but at the bottom of several signs was the name Michael Warns. Bingo! Cause Michael Warns I can find. Although just barely. He has a website at MichaelWarns.com. It's not a very good website. It has this graphic on the homepage, which I assume is the cover of his soon-to-be bestselling book. The website has a link to Michael Warn (empty except for the lone word 'Services'). It has a link to About Us (empty) and a link to Contact Us (you guessed it). But scroll down to the bottom of the page, and it's Bingo again: Please visit www.michaeldefeatssatan.com for information on Oprah and Obamas destruction of the black race and the rest of the world. Michael Defeats Satan, yes!, how can you resist? You can hear Michael vamp over 'What's Goin' On'. More importantly, you can find out how women took over America. You see, "When America gave women the right to vote. How? Because they out number men 40 to 1, women have the voting power in numbers, the majority. There are two hundred and sixty million people in America. Black LILITH has a thirty million person block vote." Wow! 40 to 1! America is even cooler than Surf City, where there's only two girls for every boy. But who is this Black LILITH with her block of thirty million? Glad you asked. She's "33% of the BLACK WOMEN of AMERICA (BABYLON). GOD is angry with the world for worshipping this WOMAN LILITH the DEVIL. Acts 19:22-27 is shocking saying: THE WHOLE WORLD WORSHIPETH THE WOMAN GODDESS DIANA WHO ACTUALLY is LILITH this BLACK WOMAN in BABYLON (America). This can be proven on page 2 of this book, end of paragraph. Yes, of course Michael is an author. Who isn't? But you've got to be impressed by anyone who can prove such a startling revelation by page 2, end of paragraph. What the hell? Is Obama going to eat that microphone, or is he just yodeling?

Life During Wartime

True Story

I'd Rather Lie On My Feet Than Live on My Knees

Johnny Knew Monic

The Word On The Street Tour....lend a hand if you can!

White Privilege rears its ugly head.


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Flashback Friday

Inspired by Guys From Area 51

nude Joe Biden, as naked as a bankruptcy

.

standard bushCo capitalism:

to each investment banker according to his need

.

The 2009 models are hitting the showrooms

The 2009 Fiat Currency SL...The latest in hybrid technology, powered by a mixture of Phil Gramm's phlegm, Alan Greenspan's nostril hair clippings, and shredded Lehman Brothers documents. Runs on a beautiful set of hyper-inflated tires. Capable of stopping on a dime, but prefers larger denominations.

The McCain campaign lashed out at the Democratic candidate late this afternoon after Michelle Obama was caught on tape in Charlotte, North Carolina implying that Sarah Palin was cute. "This is the sort of disrespectful garbage we've had to get used to in this campaign," said McCain spokesman Rachel Freedman. "It's designed to encourage people to pay less attention to the unique qualifications Ms. Palin brings to the ticket, and to start ogling her body instead. There are apparently no depths to which Barack Obama won't stoop." "It's beyond the pale for Obama and his surrogates to be staring at me in this way," said Palin. "I swear, it's like they're trying to undress me with their eyes. And let me tell you, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, so let me just say this. Barack Obama is a hunk. There, I said it. Now let's see how that makes him feel."

My Social Security Bailout Plan

Turn over FICA accounts to the Las Vegas Casinos.

I know what you're thinking, "that sounds kinda risky," but hear me out. I don't mean we'll give all your retirement money to some stupid gamblers betting on craps and roulette. They always lose. I mean we'll give it to "the house" - because the house ALWAYS wins! Your money will be safe - everybody knows "what goes to Vegas stays in Vegas!"

Hey, didja know that "Las Vegas" translates to "fertile valleys?" It's true!

Even In Japan They're Talking Like Pirates

Talk Like A Pirate Day Tutorial

Myron Floren tackles "Lady Of Spain"

For an accordianist, this piece is what the "Rach 3" is to a pianist. I can remember, as a child, singing right along with it - "Lady of Spain I adore you, right from the night I first soar you" - because I couldn't bear the fact that "adore" did not rhyme with "saw" in this otherwise perfect musical creation.

Note how graciously Lawrence Welk introduces Myron, even though squeezebox enthusiasts the world round know that ol' Larry, in his prime, could tinkle those chromatic buttons with an Alsatian flair few have been able to match to this very day. He could have ripped the accordian off Myron's chest and publicly humiliated him with a dazzling sequence of Aeolian flourishes that would have made even non-Hispanic angels shudder and squeal with delight, but he didn't.

No, Larry didn't need to show off or one-up anybody. Being of good German Catholic upbringing, he encouraged the talent on his show and let them enjoy their brief moment in the spotlight.

secret constituency

There is a popular meme, first advanced by Rush and now echoed by his contemporaries, which says that the polls are wrong because they don't factor in what he believes is a fairly large group of people - liberals who say they intend to vote for Obama, but secretly plan to vote for McCain because they personally can't stand the thought of a black man as president. Rush suggest that this could represent a five point swing in the polls.

Now there may be a certain amount of truth to that, particularly among the group most susceptible to peer pressure, young voters. But I would suggest that the most likely option that this group would take would be to just not vote, so even if Rush is right, you can probably take that five points and cut it back to three.

There is another secret constituency that hasn't been mentioned thus far, and I can bear witness to it's existence. After years spent in the liberal DC area, I am now living in a very conservative working-class part of the country. I get along quite well, as I've never had much trouble making friends with people of all types. Last night I was sitting at the pub beside a very blue-collared acquaintance of about seventy. He spoke quietly so that he wouldn't be overheard, and he told me something I've heard several times lately - 'I hate the idea of a [black man] as the president, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to vote for him anyway. We can't take another four years like this.'

So plug that into your equation, Rush, and rerun your statistics. How many conservatives are out there who will tell pollsters, their friends, and maybe even their families that they intend to vote for McCain, and then secretly pull the lever for Obama? I'll bet good money that this group is bigger than the demographic Rush dreams of.

Josh Marshall's dry wit tickles me

"Spain is not in Latin America. I'm certain of it."

Some Guys Are So Hard Up For It, They're Willing To Pay For It

A Brief Public Service Announcement

Caution! Trick or Treaters playing in the street!

Things Sarah Palin Won't Lie About

Things John McCain Won't Lie About

Lehman Brothers Hired Jeb Bush in 2007! Ha!


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Invisible Hand of The Free Market Auctions Off Assets, Including Invisibility Cloak ,on Ebay

By George, I Think He's Got It!

For McCain, the rain in Spain stays mainly on La Pampa

drawing the line: things palin won't lie about

cauliflower

Calista Flockhart

passing vs running on first down. she's for stabbing, won't lie just to get along

uses cop killer bullets for moose hunting, thinks it adds to her national security cred

not a big fan of blowjobs, it's on her letterhead

uses family's spoons and forks to pleasure herself; tells everyone, helps cut down on the grocery bill

tunnels

has never blinked. once killed a man for blinking (did it during a brief period when murder was legal in Alaska)

hires thugs to wait outside the exits of abortion clinics to stuff the babies back in

showcasing her efficiency; eats dead flies and spiders to avoid walking to the trash can

uses Chapstick on her hoo-hoo, Todd is crazy for it

changed "as God is my witness" to "as God is my bitch" at gubernatorial swearing in

tough on crime; wants new law and no-knock raids to stop people from using lawn chairs in the house

a loyal user of Hennigan's gunpowder douche and dessert topping

doesn't agree with the bad rap on Christmas fruit cakes, won't lie just to be in on the joke

heats Wasilla house by burning oil soaked polar bears, wants it out there to help solidify her base
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hey there Wasilla gal, did your rapist bang one past the goalie?

congratulations MOM !!

Full Cream

When you want all the flavor and goodness....

So I'm thinking... We're the fucking Lehman Brothers, and look at how they treat us. What are we, chopped liver?

Yeah yeah, Manny, chopped liver. Now shut the fuck up, I'm trying to think.

Oh look, the genius is trying to think. Maybe you should have taken that up back before you cooked the books, Jack.

Shut up, you grinning freak. You knew what was going down every step of the way. You're the jerkoff who said we could double our take with just a little sleight of hand.

Hey, you call me a freak again, I'm gonna cut your legs off and feed 'em to the bear market.

Boys, boys, calm down, we've got bigger fish to fry. Moe is right, Jack, you could of been a little more careful with the bookkeeping, but that's water under the bridge at this point. We are victims of a terrible injustice here

Oh yeah? How do you figure that, Manny.

Let me tell you how I figure. You see the news? The feds just bailed out AIG. No shit. Freddie Mac gets in trouble, the feds bail em out. Bear Sterns gets in trouble, the feds bail em out. But let the Lehman Brothers get in a little trouble, we don't get bupkis. It's because we're Jewish. If my name was Fannie instead of Manny, it'd be a whole nother ballgame.

Grrrrrrrrrr...

So what do we do, boss? What do we do? If we let the feds get away with disrespecting the Lehman boys our name is gonna be mud. Speaking of which, look out for that fed up ahead, he's got a bucket of mud!

Son of a bitch! That was the last straw. I'm calling upthe Old Boys Network.

to be continued...

It Sure Stays Fresher That Way

McCain Tries Connecting with Poor Voters During Financial Meltdown

John McCain wipes his ass with sheets of Lehman Brothers Stock!


political, cartoons,political cartoons, parody, satire, Republicans, GOP, Iraq, War, Theocracy, Bush, Cheney, comics, comic strips, McCain,webcomic

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Thought Experiment

The Residents: The Bunny Boy (on YouTube)

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4

Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8

Sailor's Horny Pipe Dream

Welfare Mothers Make Better Lovers

..happened to catch mccain's "original mavericks" ad last night here in Ohio (Toledo station). Twice in an hour, this must be the heavy rotation I've heard of. it's of course full of their trademark lies and nonsense, but what caught my attention: it feels like a live-action cartoon. the candidate images pop out as the narrator reads a catch phrase, "stopped the bridge to nowhere" "took on the oil companies" "leaps tall economies" "hates earmarks like poison" "killed a moose, didn't break a nail". I half expected to see Batman and Robin jump around the corner of a building, POW! BAM! SMACK! ...perhaps I missed a change in the rules and eight year old boys can vote now. VOTE! Superman and Wonder Woman, and tell the maid to clean up your room.
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My Health Care Plan

Sell all the remaining mortgage-backed securities to the health insurers, declare them insolvent, then the government takes them over. Presto! Socialized medicine!