We want it, awl...

...and we want it now!

Absent provisions to stop abusive litigation, the bills Democrats support will not lead to oil production. Any serious energy plan would encourage the development of alternative and renewable fuels, and open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, the OCS and the Western U.S. to drilling. It also would put a stop to never-ending litigation. But that's not what Democratic leaders are offering.

Democrats passed a bill in the House that would allow for expanded domestic drilling. Throughout this process, the oil industry and their puppets in Congress Republicans have been spewing out reasons why they do not want to support this legislation. Even though until shortly before it was brought up, we were supposed to believe that drilling was the most important issue of all times! First, they were opposed to not being allowed to drill in the Eastern Gulf of Mexico, then they said they needed to come much closer to the shore, then they started getting pissy about not being allowed to bribe state officials the oil lease revenue going to a federal renewable energy subsidy.

Are we starting to get the picture now? Would it be Florida that is the easiest place to get to significant quantities of oil, fast? They're trying to fuck Florida without ever having to come out and say "Fuck You, Florida!" I would love for it to be true that the Environmental Lobby™ wields so much clout in Washington as to stop bills from passing and initiate endless lawsuits on behalf of critters everywhere. But they're not. As we've seen time and time again, the industry--in this case the oil industry, but others have done the same--is hiding behind the threat of the big bad Envirowhacko strawman, when the real opposition to drilling would likely come from mom-and-pop restaurant, motel and store owners, retirees, and just everyday regular Republican voters who don't want to see their investments lose value. So can we please stop the bullshit now and just admit that Republicans want to lose Florida?

$25 billion

Give us the money and we'll make it in 8 different colors. And we promise: those nonpolluting flying cars are on their way too.

Drive Less

Somehow, I don't believe this message is going to be popular at the WSJ.

Naked Shorting

It's dirty.

Hey Republicans:

Make sure you keep up the myth that Democrats are beholden to the envirowhackofascist lobby:

The most sought-after area, however, is the eastern Gulf of Mexico near Florida's western coast. Drilling rigs already operate in the gulf off Houston, New Orleans and Mississippi, giving oil producers a near-certain guarantee of finding oil near Florida. It also would be less costly for producers to move their production and delivery systems to the other side of the gulf than to place new rigs in previously unexplored regions of the Atlantic or Pacific.

Sen. Bill Nelson (D-Fla.) has vowed to filibuster any legislation that would open the waters off Florida's western beach resorts, to protect his state's tourism industry and the military testing areas for Navy and Air Force bases in the region. "If they want to get something done, they have to deal with me," Nelson said in an interview Friday.

After months of whining about not being allowed to Drill Drill Drill, Republicans are on the verge of voting against drilling because they're not allowed to force us to drill everywhere all the time. Makes me wonder whether they ever took either their so-called "energy crisis" or democracy all that seriously.

Fabrications meant to pull the wool over our eyes.

Following in the tradition of Linen B Johnson and Ronald Rayon...

All I can say is what a moran!

Because he's a POW

...it's why John McCain doesn't know how to send an e-mail:



Maybe Sarah Palin can help him keep his finger on 'The Button'.

Maybe I should become a correspondent.

After I start wearing lipstick...

Has it?

Good question.

9/11

Obama:

And I think in terms of the United States, there was just this outpouring - you remember, people wanted to do something, and, you know, George Bush asked them to shop, and if we had instead said, ‘You know what, we are going to reduce our dependence on Middle Eastern oil,’ or, you know, ‘We are going to create the kinds of energy-efficient economy that will allow us to weaken the forces of terror,’ that could have made an incredible difference and I think you could have mobilized the American people around bold plans on energy that would make sure that we weren’t continuing to be in the situation we’re in today.”

But that didn't happen. The oil industry--free market think tank--GOP trifecta told us it'd all be too expensive for us to change our ways and even if we did, it'd not make a bit of difference because the Chinese would use up our oil. How that translated into wastefulness = patriotism is somewhat nebulous. But that's what gave us years of excessive oil company profits, government corruption--where officials stole taxpayer money--a glorious war in Iraq, and increased demand leading to us never seeing less than $100 a barrel oil again. I sure am glad we didn't spend the money on efficiency now, aren't you?

And after all that, what does the GOP have to offer us now? DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW! DRILL, DRILL, DRILL! DRILL BABY, DRILL! The thing is, they know that this is a bait-and-switch tactic. The best place to get to quick oil would be the eastern Gulf of Mexico, off the Florida shore. But they're not going to drill there--or if they do it won't be very much--since their own constituents will fight it in court. And win! Then they can go back and blame it all on the evil environmentalists, drill a few more holes out west in places no one can see the rigs, and that'll be that. When it comes to expanded domestic drilling, it'll happen on a limited basis no matter who is President next.

But just like George W. Bush seemed like he might be a reasonable kinda guy when it came to energy and environmental issues while he was running for office, John McCain will have to give in to the do-nothing-do-we-can-profit crowd. No one can be a maverick when they need party unity to get things done.

It's the energy, stupid.

Wheee!

Looks like he had his fingers on the ignition ready to crank the prop anytime on his way down. I wonder how close he would have had to come to those rocks to actually feel like it'd be time to turn it on. Also looks like he's tried it out with the prop running a time or two before. Still, it takes some guts to do that.

Wingnut logic

Calling your wife a "cunt": not sexist.

Comparing hockey moms to pit bulls: not sexist.

Using the idiom "lipstick on a pig" to describe bad policy: SEXIST!

Drill, baby Drill!

battlelines are drawn

Hurricane Ike

Dear News Media,

Cuba isn't just a convenient place for a hurricane to lose strength on its way to Galveston. People live there and by the looks of it they won't have anywhere to go this time around to avoid the storm. Take note of that.

Sincerely,

Coeruleus

Oh noes!

Republican Energy Policy

Whoops. Wrong video.

Mavericks

Sarah Palin stands out as a maverick from a herd of mavericks.

Sir Oolius fer Vahs Preznit

That's it. I'm done with the Democrat party. Republicans have shown yet again that they are a party of the people by plucking someone out of the wilderness and makin' them look good on the teevee. Having lived out in the wilds of Portland Oregon myself, I can identify with this and I'd like to think that I too could be a successful candidate for office. It's simple, really, to get a chance to run for and hold two of the world's most powerful positions for the next 16 years. All I'd have to do is tell everyone how much I hate Warshington and all the power and things that the gubmint does. They'd even write a speech for me making me out to be just like Harry Truman! Hell, they'd prolly help me creatively mispronounce my name like they did for that guy down in Louisiana. It's awesome.

What do the Democrats have to offer? Nothin' but high-falutin' effete arugula-eatin' elitism! They simply don't understand the intensity of hundreds of sweaty writhing heartlanders rapturously chanting in unison "Drill Baby Drill." All in a wholesome Christian sort of way that appeals to the humble people of this land, of course.

That's why I say: Sir Oolius in 2012! Take Warshington from the insiders and give it back to people who really know how to pull the trig(ger). Only Republicans can do that!

Portland. Uh boy...

Nothin' like a little Hank Plank and the 2X4s to get me out of blogging hiatus...



Although, they really should have posted the "thinkin' about drinkin' but I'm already drunk" song.