March 25, 2005 - In this post-Lord of the Rings era, it's difficult to imagine a movie like The Beastmaster being taken seriously. In fact, very similar fare goes straight to DVD all the time and does not bear much notice. But in the Eighties, a movie like The Beastmaster was a serious coup for fans of fantasy. At the time, it was played as a straight epic and revered by genre enthusiasts, while being snickered at by the average moviegoer.

Now Beastmaster is getting kingly treatment on a Special Edition DVD from Anchor Bay, and fans can get all the epic heroism they can handle. The disc is loaded with features, and although it isn't very technically grand, the nostalgia of the movie and the excellent features make up some of the lost ground.

The Beastmaster fits comfortably alongside Conan the Barbarian, which also came out 1982. These two movies helped to define an action sub-genre featuring greasy, muscle-bound warriors in loin cloths that eventually led to even less substantial fare (like the Darkstalker series). In fact, one could make an argument that without these films, there would never have been a Hercules or Xena series on television.

Beastmaster also helped to vault Tanya Roberts (the last "Charlie's Angel") into the fantasies of every dice-rolling D&Der; in history. In grade school, almost no moment in movie history was as legendary as her topless dip in the river.

Doesn't this scream "epic?"

But Beastmaster is about more than oily men in their manderoos and maidens under waterfalls. It's about swords and sorcery and ferrets. It's about Rip Torn with a tremendous hook nose and patches of quick sand in the middle of nowhere. It's about hawk's-eye vision and tigers painted black.

By the Power of Greyskull!

What seemed cool and rugged about the film in the Eighties has lost a lot of its cache, because we've all grown up since then, and so have motion pictures. It's impossible not to lump the action seen here in with countless syndicated barbarian shows that have aired since. It's also impossible to look at Marc Singer attempting to play the role of Dar "The Beastmaster" for dramatic effect and not laugh. Does he realize he's wearing a metal headband and standing atop a rock swinging a log around?

Still, it's nostalgia that will sell this disc and nostalgia that will make people like me (scratch that, us) watch it multiple times.

Score: 5 out of 10

The Video

Although the box boasts "an eye-popping new DiviMax 16X9 transfer," the end result is hardly something to describe in such a way. There is an overall grain to the image, which is likely due to the original negative… but it doesn't make for the greatest picture.

He masters... the beasts. Get it? He's a beast master.

In addition, the blacks are seriously muted (almost more of a dark gray) and many of them bleed together and block out, leaving less differentiation in dark scenes. The result is a picture that isn't as rich and crisp as it could be. In fact, the transfer isn't very crisp at all. It looks gauzy throughout, and the colors aren't as vibrant as they could be.

Remember being 12? Samantha Fox, Tanya Roberts, and License to Ill.

The special feature documentary is especially muddy, with more grain and general image degradation than in the feature film. The moral of the story is this: don't have anyone over to show off your new TV and then pop this disc in.

Score: 6 out of 10

Singer didn't win an Oscar for his performance. He was robbed.

The Audio

Like the video, the Special Edition touts the audio more than it should be. Called "sweeping DTS-ES and Dolby Ex Surround," it is not as impressive as all that. The audio is decidedly better than the video, but there are still some problems. The music comes through a little tinny, and the dialogue is muffled in places.

The surround could be handled better. There is rear speaker action, but it isn't differentiated as well as it could be. Ultimately, the disc isn't much of a technical upgrade as it claims to be.

Score: 7 out of 10

If only a ferret were here to save me.

Extras

If you fall into the category of "Beastmaster fan," then the special features will titillate you. In addition to an intriguing commentary by auteur Don Coscarelli, there is a lengthy documentary called "The Saga of the Beastmaster."

Here is a full list of what is offered on the disc:

• The Saga of the Beastmaster documentary
  
• Audio commentary with Writer/Director Don Coscarelli and Writer/Producer Paul Pepperman
  
• Theatrical trailer
  
• Still galleries
  
• Talent bios
  
• DVD-ROM Screenplay
  

The documentary collects all of the cast and major crew together to pore over the production of the film and its place in Hollywood history.

The pacing of the commentary is excellent, and the two gentlemen, Coscarelli and Pepperman, do a great job of mixing anecdotes with analysis. They have an easy rhythm and correspondence throughout, and genuinely seem to enjoy the process.

There are countless factual tidbits for Beastmaster< fans, including of an explanation of how they made the waterfall in Roberts' introductory scene, and the regulations regarding children and tigers working together (here's the short version: it ain't easy).

Is that Pete Postlethwaite in the back row?

Also great is the documentary "The Saga of the Beastmaster." It collects all of the cast and major crew together to pore over the production of the film and its place in Hollywood history. It begins "everything about The Beastmaster is epic. It's a heroic film and it needed a heroic level of commitment."

The documentary does a great job of summarizing not only the production of Beastmaster, but the careers of its filmmakers, and it's actually inspirational in many ways; something aspiring auteurs might want to check out.

For those who are truly invested in the Beastmaster saga, the DVD-ROM includes a PDF version of the screenplay. The rest of the features are standard: cast info, stills and trailer. The Extras help to round out a disc that is truly for collectors; the people who will love The Beastmaster no matter what anyone says.

Score: 8 out of 10

The Movie This fantasy epic might have been alright in grade school, but just seems laughable now. 5 The Video Despite the hype on the back cover, this transfer is nothing special. Muted blacks and graininess ruin it. 6 The Audio The audio is better than the video, but not great. Presented in DTS or Dolby Surround EX. 7 The Extras Fans will delight in director commentary and a 55-minute documentary. 8 Overall Score (not an average) 6