December 23, 2004 - First things first: Fat Albert is an innocent film. It's harmless. It's filled with all sorts of good intentions. And the kids will probably love it. They'll certainly dig the characterizations of Fat Albert's friends Mushmouth and Bucky. At the screening I attended, those guys had kids in hysterics. And Fat Albert himself? He's good natured, through and through. He's everyone's best friend. And that's the best I can say about Fat Albert, because almost every other element of the film is, you guessed it... weak.

Fat Albert has the undeniable impression that its creation is merely a process of production. It's largely (ahem) a makeshift affair. They churned this one out like they really were building the track in front of the train. All these nice little things that Cosby wanted to convey, tossed into a big mixing pot, and the result is a story that doesn't have any cohesion.

The gist of it is: Fat Albert and the Cosby kids travel from the animated world to the real world to help Doris (Kyla Prat), a girl who's feeling lonely and left out at school. Forgetting about the how and why of this trans-dimensional connection – because it apparently didn't really matter to the writers, being that it isn't explained to any great extent – it just happens. That's all we're allowed to know.

It begins in the animated world. Fat Albert and the guys are playing their favorite game, buck-buck (it has something to do with standing on each other's shoulders) against a rival gang for rule of the junkyard. Fat Albert, lo and behold, is the king of the game and the kids can't win without him. They stave off defeat, but the rival gang vows to return and claim the junkyard as their own. And then things get extra pointless. Fat Albert hears a girl crying and a porthole to the real world opens before him. So he thinks, sure, why not? And proceeds to dive into the porthole, followed by the Cosby kids. Hey, we don't know what it is, but everyone's diving in, let's do it, too!

So Fat Albert and the guys emerge from the TV and find themselves standing in Doris' den. Yeah, she's a little stunned, but she gets over it in a minute or two. She demands that they return to the TV world, but that boat has sailed, at least for another 23 hours. Wouldn't you know it, emerging from a cartoon to the real world can only happen when that character's show is being broadcast. DVDs or videotapes don't count, I guess. That being the case, the guys decide they have 23 hours to make Doris' world a better place. Problem number one, they determine, is that she needs friends, so they make it their mission to get her some.

	-20th Century Fox

The real-life incarnations of the Cosby kids, I must say, aren't all that bad. Though just about everything else is pointless, some true laughs are had from these guys. Mushmouth is kind of a kick; Bucky, with his jerky movements and facial expressions is amusing; Dumb Donald is just that; and Rudy, he's well played by Shedrock Anderson. But like I said, these characterizations are the best this film has to offer. The rest of the movie is like sitting through a bland, Disney Channel made-for-TV movie, with all the overly inflective acting that implies.

The essence of the movie should have been directed to the thing Fat Albert is about: being confident with the good person that you are. But instead there's all this other stuff that vies for the film's main point. Which is it? Saving the junkyard? Saving Doris? Fat Albert getting a girlfriend? Fat Albert finding the guy who created him? Recognizing cultural differences? The music? Too many things to say, and not enough oomph to support all of it. Sure, Fat Albert has all the right sentiments. Its heart is in the right place. But, and I do mean but, it's directionless.

Worst of all is the idea that Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids would soon devolve into celluloid dust, as Cosby explains it, if they don't get back to their animated world in due haste. It's kind of like like Austin Powers losing his mojo. And in a downward slope, it leaves you with the impression that the spark Fat Albert and the Cosby kids have is eventually going to disappear. How encouraging.

I can't help but wonder, what was Cosby thinking. Couldn't he have come up with something better than this? Surely by now, with all of his entertainment experience he would know how to produce a coherent film. So, yeah, I'm a little put off that it wasn't a little more meaningful. Forgive me for expecting a little edge. But hey, as he was probably thinking, what's plot got to do with it anyway? We can always tack on an ending.

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