Photography by Barnabas Savage
VITAL STATS
BORN: April 24, 1985
HOMETOWN: Brick Town, New Jersey
MAJOR: Management
HEIGHT: 5' 2''
WEIGHT: 110 lbs
MEASUREMENTS: 30-23-36
TURN-ONS: pomade, fat guys, prizefighting
TURN-OFFS: the Feds, rats, Charlie Daniels
HOBBIES: coin-collecting, gambling
FAVORITE MOVIE: Another Stakeout
FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: Meego
FAVORITE SONG: "Silence is Golden" by the Four Seasons
ROLE MODEL: Chester A. Arthur
FAVORITE FOOD: Fettuccini a la Cazzo
MARITAL STATUS: Single
So Analisa, how's it going?
Analisa: What the $&!@ is this place? You said we was goin' to a nice, quiet Italian restaurant.
C'mon, this place is nice. They have Q*Bert. And wait 'til Mozzarella Mouse and the Fun Gang put on their show.
Analisa: Yeah, "nice". I thought we was gonna have some high-quality Italian food here. A little Prosciutto di Parma. Maybe some Fettuccine alla Bolognese.
They have pizza. You guys love pizza. And look at Mozzarella Mouse: he's got a little greasy black mustache and he plays the accordion. What could be more Italian?
Analisa: Yer a $&!@#*'n leccacazzi. You know that?
Ooh, it's so sexy when you speak Italian. Look, I got you something�
Analisa: What the $&!@ is this?
It's a Mozzarella Mouse pencil-topper. I was going to get you the Neat-O Notebook but I only had 350 tickets.
Analisa: Just what I need: a $&!@#*'n pencil-topper! Why don't I stick it on the end of a pencil and cram it up yer $&!@#*'n ass.
Gimme a break! I had to steal 150 tickets from the kid next to me. Man, I hope his dad isn't here�
Analisa: Yeah? Well, yer just lucky my dad ain't.
